Tag Archives: Love

Higher Thoughts, The Human Alexa, Top Stories

lose, find, navigate

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Loss is a weird concept

because

you can Lose a lot of things

you can Lose a soccer game,

a chess match,

or a hot dog eating contest,

or come in last in a dance recital

 

you can Lose time, and you can Lose hope

you can Lose pets, and you can Lose people

you can Lose your car keys,

or,

Lose your way

(which is more difficult to find if,

you also happen to Lose

your gps)

clear glass with red sand grainer
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

i’ve been fortunate

to not have Lost a lot of people

but the ones I have,

Hurt.

 

you know the school saying,

quality,

over quantity

 

sometimes you may feel

like you’ve

Lost yourself

 

you may go

on a spiritual

or soulful

journey to find you

again

 

but the you

that you find

is different every time

beige analog gauge
Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

i think the scariest thing,

is not spiders or monsters,

not killers or WWIII

but ghosts, of sorts.

 

the scariest thing,

i believe,

is Losing memories of those

whom we love

but can no longer

make new memories with,

because they,

also,

have been Lost.

 

when you Lose something,

important.

something,

that hurts your heart

to Lose.

 

you may try to find new ways

to look at the world

for better

or for worse

 

but the problem is,

what are you to do

when you realize

nothing can help find them.

person s hand on black board with hello text beside brown mug

when you figure out,

that just being kind,

or reaching out,

while great in the moment,

can’t find someone you’ve already Lost.

 

it can’t bring back

your Lost friend

your Lost sibling

your Lost parent

like you can find your car keys

or practice your soccer skills

 

but it can,

possibly,

prevent someone else from Losing

something they love

 

it can help

navigate

the strangeness of our hearts

white and gray textile
Photo by Tobi on Pexels.com

it can help mellow

the way we sway

through the winds

that whistle like our lost items,

our Lost

emotions.

 

Loss is a weird concept

because

sometimes I feel like I have

Lost something

that I never even had in the first place.

adult anger art black background
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

xoxo

Relationships

Slutty or Single – the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground

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In this day and age, I struggle to understand dating culture. If I am single, I have to be clear what I am looking for, but if I don’t take the bait quick enough I am a prude. Similarly, if I am very interested but decide that this is not a good route for me, I am playing games or a slut.

So for me, personally, it sometimes feels like I can’t win. And I know I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

The Break Down

The ones who are interested don’t always commit [they prefer the buffet rather than the steak dinner], the ones who commit – ought to be committed with how fast they plan our future, and well, the ones in between don’t respond to you texting first because that is against protocol? Then, of course, you have the weekend flings, the line drive sliders [popping right into the Direct Messages] Now obviously these standard experiences do not wholly represent the population. I for one know a dozen brilliant, beautiful and amazing humans, but for every ‘good guy’ and goofball there is another a** hat who cheats, guilt’s, or pushes the envelope.

and yes. sometimes that one DB ruins the dating pool for the good ones and the ones who end up being a shoulder to cry on but that shouldn’t be the case. I mean …When did the first question in dating become “is he, or she, slutty and single? And what chance do I have with someone like that?’ when did dating become a death trap? and what can we, as young people do to change that?

Enter the Nice Guy

So I am one of those people who has messed up when it comes to finding the good ones. From my experience, the nice guy is the wrong guy, but the bad boy breaks your heart. And while every girl wants the boy who treats her right, she too quickly falls for the one that talks right, walks right, etc. etc. etc.

So technically, I have “dated” a lot of bad boys, but I have also never been in a relationship… Confused? Me too – but here’s how I see it – when I say dating, I  don’t mean officially in a relationship, but if someone has asked me out a couple times (on dates) and I have gone on said dates, I can reasonably assume that we are dating… right? – at least that would make sense, but no, often the good guys are the ones who want to date and the bad boys are just the ones we are talking with. So why don’t we go for the good ones?

pexels-photo-298018

The Good Guy is the One that Stays

He’s the one who sticks around at the end of the party to walk you home, he can seem like a dork because “people like him don’t exist” [except they do]. He’s the one you can count on and the one who will tell you how it is.

In essence, the good guy is the one you underestimate but after living with the stereotypical “good guy” for most of my life [ie. baby bro] the good guy is also the one that gets the most hurt.

SO WHY DONT THE GOOD GIRLS GO FOR THE GOOD GUYS ???

I honestly don’t know – maybe we’re stupid, maybe we’ve lost the trust, maybe we don’t see you, but in any event, I think when it comes to being “Slutty or Single – when it comes to the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground” the middle ground we’re actually looking for is the good guy! 

but what do you think mr. mrs. or etc interweb – where do you think the middle ground is – and what do ‘we – the people’ need to do to get our heads out of our a**** and find it?

 

Just Post Grad Things, Relationships

I’m Engaged!

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IM ENGAGED! AND OFFICIALLY OFF THE MARKET

Today I have fully committed to the love of my life –  and ladies, let me say I could not be happier  because he put three rings on it! And by ” He ” I mean the machine that put my three ring binder together….

ok lets get real for a minute – I am 22 damn years old. I don’t have time to take a 40minute bath [ don’t worry I shower religiously ] let alone work on a relationship … outside of the one I have with Netflix

yes I am dating Netflix, yes I know he is in thousands of bedrooms in America and around the world – I’ve been cheated on time and time again, I am working on it ok?!

I DIGRESS

look – we say it all the time, dating these days is hard. Yet every other damn day I see someone on my Facebook feed with a ring shinier than the sun and a smile plastered across their face. and if I had a dollar for every time an adult tells me that

it’s ok, you’ll find someone … don’t rush just focus on yourself

I’d be rich enough to buy my own ring.

Truth be told – I think its crazy that people are able to find love at this age – and don’t get me wrong I am happy for you all – but I’m also wondering how you found the time to grow up with someone so fast…

I’m not jealous, I’m confused.

Of all the possible people to date out there it often feels like the pretty ones are often [not always] assholes, the reliable ones are taken, and the others – well they aren’t into me.

I know what you’re thinking…

but Rachel you’re a catch!

and to that I would say “Thank you ! I agree!” but it isn’t about being caught – it’s about finding someone that matches your kind of crazy. And for me that means finding someone who – like my father – stuck it out and worked through it all, for better or worse, in sickness and in health – till death did us part.

But finding someone like that isn’t easy….

And yet people are getting married???? How?

I may not understand but I am not against it

These days people are starting families younger, and while this may not be a stable way to build a family [depending on your job and support system] this is a trend I see emerging.

For a while I was told that people are putting their career first and love life second, and I get it – If you Know – You Know, but for me Marriage is a pretty adult thing to be doing and with the rate of divorce these days – I feel like entering into it too quickly could be dangerous

Call me cautious, call me jealous

Maybe I am cautious but I always tell my family I am more equipped to handle an infant than I am to handle a man in my life – my reason ? THE BABY HAS AN EXCUSE FOR ITS BS BUT A FULL GROWN MAN DOES NOT.

And while it is true that dating culture – and my rocky relationship with Netflix has seemed to make me a bit more jaded than the rest I still think that I would just rather keep looking for someone that matches my crazy and keeps up with my career goals. and since I don’t know if that man exists yet… I’m calling in a place holder – and a favor from something I have loved for many years of my life –

Notice: I am Getting Engaged… In my Education

ATTENTION ALL I AM ENGAGED TO MYSELF – MY PASSIONS – AND MY STUDIES!

I know I have kept my relationship a secret for four years, but my lover is modest. But I can not keep it a secret any more – I am in love with my learning potential and I want to shout it from the rooftops! So I will

I am in love with my career, my education and myself – and I don’t need anything else

for all interested parties there will be a small ceremony in May for all who want to attend – please RSVP by following us on WordPress and on Facebook where we will continue to share announcements on the event. Thank you and good Luck in love my friends

 

Relationships

The Do’s and Don’ts of the Dating Death Trap

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Introducing – the Millennials Guide to The Do’s and Don’ts of the Dating Death Trap – [feel free to add]

Point one: Communication

[DO] Improve your practice of good communication

Chivalry is always the first to be thought dead, but our ability to communicate has diminished so much that we have resorted to ludicrous terms like ‘ghosting.’

‘Ghosting’ can be defined as one person, who often reached out to communicate with another suddenly stops completely. It is also rude and most of us have done it…

I for one will tell the people I am interested in that being honest is paramount to all else. If you tell me that you aren’t interested anymore, I will be ok, if you ignore me until I’m forced to figure it out for myself, I won’t be as relaxed about the issue. And similar to this is the idea of buffet style dating. The route taken when one person choses to pick, choose and use a number of other individuals at one time. Being honest about that style of dating may not be highly approved of, but at the same time, no one can blame you if you have been up front from the jump. So just be honest and communicate.

[DON’T] Allow Communication to be One sided

Here is where we get into the “playing games” debate. So from my experience in dating, I have realized that the guys I was with never lead me on, never played games – but I took what they said and got it jumbled in my head. I can admit that is on me. But allowing communication to get jumbled in the first place is a major issue that contributes to drama and severed relationships.
At the end of the day we can’t force something that isn’t there. Be honest with your partner because that kind of communication practice might help you in other areas of your life as well.

Point two: Pace

[DO] Go at your own speedpexels-photo-638487

Remember that your relationship is equal between two people, the rest of the world has no business knowing what you do and when. Being comfortable and trusting the person you are with is so crucial to how you treat yourself, your partner, and those around you. Rushing things could lead to some ill feelings and if those are not expressed one could resent the person they are with.

[DON’T] Rush

I feel like these days we move so quickly. With apps like tinder and bumble the dating scene becomes a mix of sexually frustrated individuals, lonely love-struck wannabees, and genuine people wanting to find a real connection.
But rushing isn’t just a concept with intent, but one where ‘coming on too strong’ ie. showing interest, can become an immediate turn off. So while there is a benefit to playing hard to get, the best advice is to just take it at your own pace.
If you cant tell if you are moving too fast check out this link from the Huffington Post here.

Point three: Boundaries and Space

[DO] Have Boundaries

If you can’t hang out with your best friend 24 hours a day 7 days a week, odds are you can’t handle your significant other for that amount of time either. Creating boundaries allows for the much needed space to continue growing as an individual, not just one half of a whole. Be your own person, then share that person with those you love.

[DON’T] Overwhelm each other

The best way, I have found, to kill a new romance is to be on top of each other (not literally of course). When you spend all your time with one person you tend to cut yourself off from the other important people in your life, and in doing so you risk missing out on invaluable opportunities to learn and grow. If you truly love someone, and make the choice to spend your lives together then you can use that time to drive each other crazy, but right now, take it day by day.

[DON’T] Have so many boundaries that you are scheduling other romances in

In all relationships and on every side of the dating spectrum, the idea that someone isn’t open enough, can lead to doubt and a lack of trust. It seems like an obvious rule, but making yourself available (in whatever way you are comfortable) is a huge aspect of being in a relationship. It isn’t about always being 100%, that would be too high of an expectation, but being yourself and making time to be with someone you care about shouldn’t have to be a schedule based item. We make time to do the things we care about, so if you care about someone, and feel like you at e struggling to schedule them in, odds are you aren’t as into it as you could be.

…AND TO THAT SAME END…

If you are scheduling one romance around another, do yourself and that other person a favor and cut it off. If you need more than one at a time, odds are the ones you are with aren’t giving you what you really need.

For more info on the proper way and reason why to set boundaries Click here.

 

Additional Notes

hookups are not dates

no one person is in charge of paying for everything

a relationship is about equal give and take

 

Have more do’s and don’ts? add them below in the comments

 

 

 

Relationships

Heart for Rent – Not For Sale

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“The more people you let in the more they have a chance to walk right out of your life.” At my age – I’ve let a couple guys lease my heart but I  have never been good at breaking down the walls and they never stay long enough for me to collect rent.

I’m that girl that indulges in toxic relationships. That listens to sweet talk and ignores all the warning signs – because when he tells me “you’re beautiful” I’d rather not translate that to mean – I want to sleep with you.

Truth is – I’ve never been good at finding the right guy. Never been good at knowing my worth – and with no experience in love I tend to go with the flow [ translation, lay down and get taken advantage of. ]

In short – I am the girl that wakes up feeling ashamed for something that wasn’t supposed to feel wrong – for drinking too much and walking herself home. Translation:

I am the cautionary tale you tell your daughters before they go to sleep at night because you never want to see them get hurt in the way most – if not all – girls inevitably do.

this isn’t a pity party

Of all the regrets I have, I wouldn’t change the lessons I have learned. I wouldn’t change the life I have lived, not only because I can’t – but because I have come to terms with the way my heart works.

To quote a movie – and a book – “The more people you let in the more they have a chance to walk right out of your life.” 

And as much as I wish this quote wasn’t true, it is – because I have felt it first hand. For me – and I think I have said this before – loss comes easier than love – because for me – I learned loss before I could understand what love was.

The reason I spent weekends watching trashy teen dramas [ and yes this is diluted ] was to understand the way other people thought. For them it wasn’t thoughts of falling one parent short of  being an orphan, it wasn’t contingency plans if mom dies. It wasn’t black dresses and churches and services and flowers and casseroles – it was boys, and designer brands – it was drinking yourself stupid and talking about the things you shouldn’t have done on Saturday come Monday morning.

So for me – teen dramas were the way out – because I didn’t have to let anyone in and I didn’t have to watch any more people I cared about – walk out.

me – I write sins, not tragedies

I get caught up in the nights I should have had, the boys I should have kissed, the mistakes I couldn’t make because – because if something happened to me my family would suffer. My greatest sin before being reborn in college was not living my own life but the mistake of only existing in the pages of my novels and pretending that I could escape from my nightmares.

My sin in college was pushing people away to see who would come back – and hurting more when the first guy I hooked up with didn’t. My greatest sin has not been a tragedy though. Because I don’t believe in living tragedies. Because – like Shakespeare – even the greatest tragedies can be made into comedies.

Cinematic Discretion

If my life was a movie – you would think it sad. But in reality the choices I have made – the decisions that have defined me only prove that when it comes to love – and when it comes to my heart.

When I watched “to all the boys I’ve loved” the other day I wondered how many people feel the way I do. I wondered what my chance at love was if it still scared me. I wondered what my odds were if my biggest fear wasn’t being forgotten or dying, but being left behind. And I don’t know when those answers will come, or when love will – and that sucks but it doesn’t mean I cant learn from what scares me. I guess it took me writing this [ and who knows what else in regards to soul searching ] that while

I may always [ for now ] be for RENT – I will NEVER BE FOR SALE

 

Relationships

“Foot Poppin Kiss”

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NOW ACCEPTING APPLICATIONS

I’d like to say I’m accepting applications for America’s next best kisser, but I don’t know if he is here. I mean Anne Hathaway had to become a fricken princess of Genovia to get the kind of men I’d like to find. So my hope is a little skewed.

HONESTY HOUR

So I am utterly and completely one of those God Damn Independent types that DOES NOT NEED A MAN, but, that doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy a man who knows how to kiss me like I deserve every once in a while.

Now this doesn’t have to be a gender normative type of story. I can assume that a few of us know what I am talking about. It’s that feeling when they kiss you so good that you still feel it echoing through your lips when it ends. The kind of kiss that makes you want to tell your best friend the moment after it happens – the kind of kiss that makes your foot POP.

First Kiss

As a teenager I waited a long time for my first kiss. I was a senior in high school writing about romance and knowing nothing about it. I would still write love stories, but most of my “research” was television based. It wasn’t until my senior homecoming dance that I couldn’t wait anymore – so I kissed the first boy who offered.

Shortly after this I wrote my first love story – with much better descriptions of what it was like to be kissed and kissed well – it’s no wonder the story caught the eye of Delaware Scholastic Competition Judges.

THINKING BACK

I think my hopeless romantic edge comes from romantic comedies being my first experience of love. I developed a look but don’t touch mentality, falling in love through a screen for men like Paul Wesley and Zac Efron and Cody Linley from Hannah Montana.

But the thing was – movies never made up for the real feeling and they still don’t.

A lot of people measure time in different ways – lately I have been thinking about the timeline of kisses. I mean what if we measured time by the last time we felt something more than just Lust or Loss, Fear or Bravery, what if time was measured in unexpected moments.

THE LAST TIME I WAS KISSED

I didn’t think it would be the last, and I regret that it was. Turns out I made a couple more mistakes than I can remember – and I am sorry for that, but truth is – he hadn’t made my foot pop since the first time he kissed me. And maybe that is my fault to, but maybe measuring time in those great – charged – unexpected moments, is the key to keeping things exciting, and the key to us continuing a mutual chase no matter who our relationship is with.

You turned me off but the feelings are still there

My mother likes to tell me that water seeks its own level – that in relationships we look for what we are used to. For me this means I look for a man like my father, one who makes me laugh, who is a bit rough around the edges, but cares and cooks and listens… but what often happens is – I don’t find a guy like that but instead I settle for a man I know won’t be around much – and while that is great for any future lover who has a life, it often just reminds me that love [or like even] tend to flicker and fade quickly like overused lightbulbs.

LIKE ISNT A LIGHT SWITCH

I realize that sometimes I get caught up in the idea of someone. As if I had never felt adrenaline – as if doing something I knew was bad for me never felt so amazing. As if one guy could be the only neon fast food sign I’ve seen in 50 miles and all I want is to skid to a stop. I’ve been the girl that turns on the light switch to a room I am not meant to be in and regretted it later – See the truth is we can’t force the way we feel about people. We can want and need something but just because a guy fits the description, doesn’t mean he’s fit to be your prince.

I mean….

In the princess diaries Mia had the perfect guy right under her nose – but she thought the popular guy was better. She raced through her life burning out her stang’ to catch the guy that didn’t even care. Maybe I should have learned from that more than I have.

At the end of the day I guess I have spent a lot of time settling, and while it has lead to some pretty epic kisses – I think I still have a lot to learn until I find that really special “foot poppin” guy.

 

 

Relationships

Dear Dad

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Hey,

Long time no talk. Look I would have called sooner but… yeah – work has been great. Yeah – mom calls all the time. The Boy? Davis? He’s good – he’s definitely you’re son… no doubt about it. Yeah – he’s everything to me these days. What? Haha no – no boyfriend, haven’t found a man like you yet. And don’t worry I don’t plan on settling. What? Sorry? You’re breaking up. No. Dad. No. I’m getting another call I’ll. [the line cuts out]… I’ll call you soon…

or at least that’s what I should have said… but then I woke up.

Long distance living

This morning I slept in, I showed up late to work, I let myself slip because when you make a mistake enough it loses its value – but this doesn’t. The morals I’ve learned have value but somehow – today –  I didn’t seem to care because last nights dream was one that was too good to pass up. And I know you’re close but our visits, well they are few and far between and well … look since I messed up and didn’t say what I should have let me re-start like this. Dear Dad.

Dear Dad,

Hey, you know I could have sworn I saw you last night or eh – this morning? I was dreaming but it felt so… so real? I mean it didn’t because the moment I saw you I looked up and said, you seem shorter than my dad… but you’ll do… I was settling for a vision but suddenly I didn’t mind. Dear Dad.

Don’t worry you looked good.

Your hair was darker than it has been in a while, your face looked as though it had the slightest pixilation, but you looked young and healthy and amazing and then suddenly I woke up feeling like I had just played the best game of my life because I finally found you.

Dear Dad,

Its been – five? years since you’ve shown up in a dream. And in this one I had a step dad – and mom wasn’t happy, the whole world was off and this man – this man in our house – well he clearly didn’t belong. and – I know – I’m rambling I just have a lot I should have said like – dear dad.

Dear Dad,

It’s been eight years? since I’ve seen you, but last night made it feel like yesterday – and I knew t was fake but… I didn’t care. Dear dad.

Dear Dad,

I miss you. And don’t worry, your day dream doppelganger does not compare but I won’t say it wasn’t nice to have you… or him… or umm…?

Dear Dad,

I got a job?

I’m doing well.

Your son acts just like you – it couldn’t make me more proud. and your siblings take care of me as if I were their own – and I think I’m finally getting a hold of this growing up thing. Maybe… ?

Dear Dad,

I’ve visited your ashes three times this year. It’s a new record and I will top it again in the fall.

Dear Dad,

It was nice to see you in my dreams but I forgot to say one thing…

I love you – and of all the things I wish I could have said — I just wish I had said that before I woke up.

 

 

The Life and Times

When he Grows Up

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long story short, the younger version of myself was a total asshole

Growing up, my biggest regret became the way I made my brother hate me – lucky for me he has since forgiven me and I could not be more grateful for the relationship we now have.

I know I am not the only one to say that being a sibling is hard. I mean – it isn’t, but it is. I was alone for years before my brother came along, apparently only child syndrome was like a really bad case of the flu for me – easy to catch but a pain in the butt to get rid of.

Resentment ran rampant in my life for a long time, but like I said – seeing my brother grow into the man he is today, watching him love me the way he used to… I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

So in honor of my baby bro going to college last week I wanted to commemorate the occasion by sharing what it feels like “when he grows up”.

i’m not a mom – i just act like one

Watching my brother grow up was one of life’s many bitter sweet miseries. Most of his young adulthood I was at college and he was at home. SO – every time I went home he had miraculously grown three inches taller and his voice dropped three octaves. This was hard to watch – and it still is because I feel like I am missing out on so much and on so many of the little moments that made him the man he is today.

Again – I’m not a mom… I just act like one.

The number of times I try to teach my brother something he already knows is astounding. AKA I soon learned that by some sheer act of nature my brother became [in many ways] way more brilliant than I see myself to be.

In this watching him grow up, listening to him speak about politics and policy and religion, and relationships was a gift. He went from ranting about relatives wanting to know only about school to having intelligent conversations that baffled me.

What I am quickly learning, being on the other side of watching someone grow up is how remarkable some people are and how genuinely kind they can be. For me this is hard, and I assume that anyone who is in a similar situation feels the same. And at the end of the day I guess it just makes me lucky to wonder “how could I be so lucky to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard”

Davis,

if you ever read this, I want you to know how unfathomably proud I am of the person you have become. I want you to know how hard it is to watch you grow up, and how scared I am that the big bad world has you under its wing now. Bud, I know you’ll come out the other end all right but be careful. I can’t tell you how hard it is to watch you grow up – but you’re doing an amazing job. And I couldn’t be happier to be a part of your journey – even if it feels like you might be a mile ahead for a while.

when he grows up

I would like to say that my brother hasn’t already grown up – but he has. But when he grows up more – when I stop believing that he is not the baby brother I have always known and mostly loved… I expect nothing less than greatness.

In short, watching him grow up has been hard, heck, watching anyone grow up is hard, and more than that – earning his respect [at one point] was difficult, but when he grows up – when he becomes the person I know he will be… when I can finally come to terms with him being 18 and in college and in the real world… well, that will be impossible – But it will also be priceless.

and I for one – can’t wait.

 

 

The Life and Times

being the one they call

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a leader doesn’t always stand in the front of the pack… but they do stand behind their friends.

As the friend who is most likely to do something wild or impulsive, few would think I am also the most reliable. And sometimes they might even be right.

I have never been a team captain, never been a front runner, and if I ran for any political office I would undoubtably lose – yet I am the first person most think to call when they are in trouble. Why? Because I answer, and more importantly, I show up.

As a sister, a daughter, and a friend my highest priority is “my people”. My chosen family includes teammates, old residents, coworkers, family and sometimes, that random person on the street who visibly looks like they are struggling.

showing up is easy, being present is hard

Growing up I constantly notice a deficit when it comes to showing up. People my age are criticized for their work ethic, their relationship status’, and their sociopolitical movements. But more than ever, my generation and the one to follow is showing up in big ways. Kids are leading movements, running for office, and acting in small ways with big results [simple acts of kindness]

It took some pretty rough -unplanned- life moments, like loss to make me realize that people don’t care enough about showing up in the long term vs. the short term – In this there proves to be a trend where people will ask how someone is doing, without actually wanting the answer. But with what I have seen lately, I am happy to see the revitalization of the long game.

Being the one they call isn’t always easy. In fact, on some occasions, it breaks your heart – but being the one they call is never about you. It’s about showing up – and I couldn’t be more proud to say that more and more young people are starting to answer the call than ever before.

Fitness and Wellness

An Open Letter to My Muffin Top

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Just because they were sexy on Seinfeld doesn’t mean I want one on my body – my battle with being flub-ulous

I used to work at camp. Now don’t get me wrong I love children, but working with them. Well they tend to want to chase and poke you. As someone who needs personal space this was a long time struggle – but it wasn’t the space as much as it was the “flub”

Think of that scene in Nemo… “Nemo, go touch the butt (boat)” Kids are like that. They poke and push and being a favorite means you barely get time to yourself. Like I said I loved the kids, but could have appreciated some more space.

As a young teen I was incredibly fit, but then I grew up, I went to college and my body got away from me. Now I am not saying I am not healthy – I am saying I am normal and insecure.

The Half Baked Truth

Having a muffin top is common for most women, in fact I have heard speak that this little pouch of extra skin has the purpose of preparing our bodies for child birth, but as a 22 year old with no plans of getting  pregnant – id rather have my body hold off rather than being so proactively prepared.

My point? Who is to say I have to have a belly? Why is it so hard to take the top off? Well I think a lot of it is diet – but more of it has to do with our culture.

Personally I would love to have abs again. I felt strong and sexy when I did, but it isn’t as realistic as being toned. When it comes down to it, I feel like the best version of myself when I have my belly covered by high waited shorts – but that is no good way to live.

A Movement

Dear belly, you have asserted your dominance on my life. I respect you for being strong, for providing a pillow for my friends, for being there when I fill you to the brim, but you don’t have to hide. You can be proud, you can be present, you can be you. And that is why I want to start a movement. A free the belly movement that promotes self worth, self care and self pride among women.

#FreeTheBelly

We aren’t here to be normal we are here to be extraordinary.

How can you free the belly, how can you be proud of who you are and who you still stand to be? Don’t be half baked – be firm fluffy and bursting with flavor.

 

The Life and Times

an open letter to the break room

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oh the break room…

How I love the time we have spent together. I remember going to the store to fetch all the food. The effort put in to pull the carts, which were too heavy to push. The palate cart I also had to pull with fourteen [yes fourteen] cases of water and Snapple. This is the adventure I have since signed up for working at a small business.

My coworker and I walked through BJ’s with carts [plural] filled to the brim – and yes my struggle was real, but not as real as the struggle I face when dealing with my Oreo addiction.

Two hours later we returned to work – 700 dollars down on a months worth of groceries for an office of thirteen. The issue and gluttony of which is not lost on me.

you see…

Like many offices I have worked at, I have been forever blessed to have a break room full of food – but this gift is often paired with a guilt and lack of control. Like many of those around me I am a sucker for my sweet tooth – so while I originally thought that working at a health company would end my struggle from the temptation of snack foods – I could not have been more wrong.

an ode to my love of Oreos

To my friends, my followers, my family, I have a confession. While most grow attached to sinful pleasures, to alcohols and drugs my weakness is chocolatey and crème filled.

To my lover… double stuffed Oreos – Oh how I love the time we have spent together. From the day I said I would only have two, then two turned to four and four six. I did not mean to eat you so fast but you taunted me. Your packaging relaxed me, so blue and tinted with a subtle shine. I had no choice when it came to you; and when you were gone – I thought I would be free, but still there were more… so many packs more.ice-cream-oreo-frappuccino-waffles-60641

With my entry into the adult world I always thought that I would leave old habits behind, but my sweet tooth is one that no amount of dentistry or orthodontia has never been able to remove.

To my friends [and my dentist], who thought I had grown out of this phase, I am sorry, but my journey and love for Oreos is not now and will not soon be over. This love will continue to make your job [and my bills] hard to swallow – and while I am sorry, I cannot change who I am.

Oreos – I love you and know I always will.

dear break room,

I love you. I know our relationship will be long, fruitful, and expensive – But I promise to love you like only a true foodie can. This weekend will be long, and our time apart sad. I am sorry to cheat on you with my home kitchen, but you knew this relationship was never meant to be easy – only worth it for the two of us. For now, know I love you, and I will see you soon.

forever your love,

R

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an open letter to the break room – and an ode to my love of Oreos