Tag Archives: Healthy

Slutty or Single – the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground

In this day and age, I struggle to understand dating culture. If I am single, I have to be clear what I am looking for, but if I don’t take the bait quick enough I am a prude. Similarly, if I am very interested but decide that this is not a good route for me, I am playing games or a slut.

So for me, personally, it sometimes feels like I can’t win. And I know I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

The Break Down

The ones who are interested don’t always commit [they prefer the buffet rather than the steak dinner], the ones who commit – ought to be committed with how fast they plan our future, and well, the ones in between don’t respond to you texting first because that is against protocol? Then, of course, you have the weekend flings, the line drive sliders [popping right into the Direct Messages] Now obviously these standard experiences do not wholly represent the population. I for one know a dozen brilliant, beautiful and amazing humans, but for every ‘good guy’ and goofball there is another a** hat who cheats, guilt’s, or pushes the envelope.

and yes. sometimes that one DB ruins the dating pool for the good ones and the ones who end up being a shoulder to cry on but that shouldn’t be the case. I mean …When did the first question in dating become “is he, or she, slutty and single? And what chance do I have with someone like that?’ when did dating become a death trap? and what can we, as young people do to change that?

Enter the Nice Guy

So I am one of those people who has messed up when it comes to finding the good ones. From my experience, the nice guy is the wrong guy, but the bad boy breaks your heart. And while every girl wants the boy who treats her right, she too quickly falls for the one that talks right, walks right, etc. etc. etc.

So technically, I have “dated” a lot of bad boys, but I have also never been in a relationship… Confused? Me too – but here’s how I see it – when I say dating, I  don’t mean officially in a relationship, but if someone has asked me out a couple times (on dates) and I have gone on said dates, I can reasonably assume that we are dating… right? – at least that would make sense, but no, often the good guys are the ones who want to date and the bad boys are just the ones we are talking with. So why don’t we go for the good ones?

pexels-photo-298018

The Good Guy is the One that Stays

He’s the one who sticks around at the end of the party to walk you home, he can seem like a dork because “people like him don’t exist” [except they do]. He’s the one you can count on and the one who will tell you how it is.

In essence, the good guy is the one you underestimate but after living with the stereotypical “good guy” for most of my life [ie. baby bro] the good guy is also the one that gets the most hurt.

SO WHY DONT THE GOOD GIRLS GO FOR THE GOOD GUYS ???

I honestly don’t know – maybe we’re stupid, maybe we’ve lost the trust, maybe we don’t see you, but in any event, I think when it comes to being “Slutty or Single – when it comes to the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground” the middle ground we’re actually looking for is the good guy! 

but what do you think mr. mrs. or etc interweb – where do you think the middle ground is – and what do ‘we – the people’ need to do to get our heads out of our a**** and find it?

 

BETTER THAN SEX

the average person burns 85-100 calories per half hour of sex.

According to CNN, Womansday.com and a variety of other sources this is the statistic. Now obviously some people defy the odds based on what positions they do and how long they can last –  but on average this is the number that is shared.

Now what if I told you that you could do better? Not in bed… but in calories burned. What if I told you that some things you do every day, outside of the bedroom, counted for your calorie deficit and that sexersise wasn’t the only way to feel sexy or toned this summer. Interested yet?

pexels-photolet’s get physical

As someone who works for a business that focuses on longevity, health, and financial security, finding the best and most enticing ways to sell health to the public is kind of in the job description. So I figured I’d spark a theory on some of the summers best thought-less workouts. [and maybe if you guys have more you could leave them in the comments below.]

1. yoga

Did you know that 1 HR of yoga can burn 475 calories. [doubling the amount you could burn if you were rocking that downward doggy style]

Depending on severity, yoga is a series of stretches, balancing exercises and core stabilization techniques – which absolutely kicks my a** – but it often sounds much more appealing than a three hour run. And if you go for just a half an hour more, for a 1.5 HR class your count can go from 475 to a range of 630 -712. [like I said… better than sex]

2. dancing

depending on what time of dance you do, did you know that the bump and grind could benefit you more on the dance floor than it could behind closed doors. according to sources like new health advisor dancing could burn anywhere from 105-620 calories per hour.

Now personally, I only tend to think I am a good dancer if I have had a drink or two, but if a class like Zumba is more enticing than doing yoga, or going on a jog – then learning how to dance or just trying to could help you turn up by breaking it down.

3. rock climbing

forget numbers on a scale. Just a half an hour of rock climbing could help you burn 409 calories. This way of lifting yourself up beyond your own standards won’t just be fun, but it will help you work those quads and glutes way way better than the boy next door.

Side note: as someone who has been rock climbing, this excersise has the added bonus of sanding out that competitive edge so many of us have. Getting on top is well and good, but getting to the top of that wall and ringing the bell. Well… you know what I am going to say, its better than sex.

pexels-photo-326582the down and dirty… [truth]

Now keep in mind these three ways aren’t the best ways to be fit. They are not the end all be all, or the only ways you can be that person you’ve always wanted to be. Truth is – nothing I say will get you there… but you can. Taking adventures like this is the start, and if you are like me and you hate to be told to work out – then these types of activities could be better for you than running or jogging, or even having sex. Truth is, being healthier isn’t about what others think, it isn’t a number on a scale, it’s about you and at the end of the day, you are all that matters.

As an athlete and a young woman, being fit isn’t just about making my bosses trust me – it’s important to me too. At 22 I have explored a lot of the options above, and as the descriptions indicate, not all of them have really stuck… but truth is it’s not always easy to get to where we want to be, and not all of us can manage a steady stream of “workout buddies’ so that’s when I thought of something:

Could the best way to get a summer bod not be going to the gym, but could it be as easy as seeing a summer concert series. Could your favorite band not only claim to be better than sex… but actually be the key to a better you?

hello from the other side… I wish I only realized…

Truth is… yes. According to Livestrong 1 HR of jamming out can help you burn 300 – 400 calories, and similarly singing [which I know you all do in the shower, in the car, in the rain, and YES AT CONCERTS] also can burn 100 – 140 calories depending on the time and your size. [three words. better. than. sex.]

So wait… does this mean that Coachella, could really be COACH-ella? Well no that is a little bit of a stretch [and a horrible pun], but it does mean that those concerts and shows we all love to go to are actually a key factor in keeping us happy and healthy. Not to mention this could also explain why a lot of the people we see at the most popular shows can have the stamina to dance and sing the whole way through.

Based on the types of music you listen to, the shows you hang out at, and even the small town bars that feature your favorite swing singers could be playing a major role in you living your life. Which if you think about it… is kinda awesome.

its more than kinda awesome…

By the logic above I burned around 1200 calories seeing Taylor Swift, and that doesn’t even include the long ass walk I took to get there or the other acts I was jamming to.

By the logic above I burned 800 calories dancing with Jesse McCartney and at least 300 calories listening to Nina Nesbitt who will hands down be the next best star we have seen in a while.

By the logic above I have burned thousands of calories in my life doing something that cost me less than a gym membership – and made me hate a gym far less. And as an added bonus, I got to experience real moments with my friends rather than pretending that I was training to be the next American Ninja Warrior.

I guess what I am trying to say is that – I never expected there would be data on a question like this. I never expected that 100 bucks on dinner, a show, and a workout, would give me a reason to keep doing what I am. Today I realized that when I say I am exactly where I should be, doing exactly what I should it wasn’t just a line – it was an excuse. An excuse to realize that living our lives and singing our hearts out are not only a way to live happier lives but longer and healthier ones as well.

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featured shows include T-Swift, Jesse McCartney, Beyoncé, Budweiser Made in America (Macklemore), not featured. Logic, G-Eazy, Timeflies, SoMo, Daughtry, High School Musical. And how lucky am I that this is only the start.

An Open Letter to My ALMOST Ex

Dear…

I know we didn’t date. Maybe it felt more real for me than you. Maybe I wanted to convince myself I liked you because I liked the attention, or because I liked having something to talk about on girls nights out [sorry to the friends that listened and knew better]. Maybe I was sick of feeling like I was missing out on things I had never done.

I know we didn’t date. And I know it seems like I thought we did. Like I hung on your every word and waited for my phone to buzz hoping it would be you, but being horny and falling for someone are two different things, so don’t flatter yourself.

Truth is you were great. And I know we didn’t date – but if we did, I know you would have been good to me. I remember sweet moments with you away from your friends, moments you didn’t try to act macho, or push me too far. I remember times when I actually almost let myself fall for you over the feelings in my head, but you should know that it was only ever ALMOST.

Look… I know we didn’t date – but don’t think you’re special.  And honestly, the reason I get hung up is because I wasn’t the one who got to call it off. pexels-photo-1070970

I know we didn’t date. But you should know that you aren’t the first guy I knew was wrong and you wont be the last, so if that makes me crazy then yeah, I am. 

I know we didn’t date – and I know I might have been crazy at times – but you should know that all I’ve ever wanted was for someone to fight for me, and with your background, I’m not crazy to think you could.

I know we didn’t date – but was it a crime to get jealous? Was it a crime to call it off when I found out you had other girls in your room before you came over to mine. Was I wrong to not want to be another notch on your bed post? Another girl to get you off? Was I wrong to want more from myself and not just you? No.

I know we didn’t date. I know part of me wished we could have, but at least I knew from the beginning that you were wrong. That the red flags I ran past would allow me a trail back to the girl I was before I slept with you.

I know we didn’t date. and I know you think I am crazy, but at least I know now that your actual ex’s weren’t. Because I know we didn’t date, but if you talk about me behind my back like you do them, then the story you have warped in your head tells girls more about you than the stories you tell them.

So to my almost ex… Thank you… because I know we didn’t date – but what I learned from you, and you, and you, was something I should have learned the first time through. What I learned from you is that I should have known I deserved better, I should come first (in more than one way) and that red flags can’t always be the breadcrumbs that lead me home. but to my almost ex’s – thank you for telling someone else behind my back that were through. because truth be told, I wouldn’t be who I am today if I hadn’t made one or two mistakes with you.

bye…

and honestly thank you