All posts by JustRachel

This is me trying to make it as a writer... you all haven't seen anything yet
Fitness and Wellness

couples who work out together

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couples who work out together

I won’t lie, I am jealous of those staged videos [you know the ones]. Where a couple [generally a male and female] are getting fit together and barely look like they are breaking a sweat. THIS IS NOT REALISTIC.
Often times I will be scrolling through my social accounts and these videos will pop up. I immediately am overcome with jealousy because [wow] and because I would love to find a man like this, but again. It is not realistic.
To the couples that do this, I have no doubt that you share a special kind of bond, but as for the rest of us… when you see me running just look the other way because it will not be pretty.

The Life and Times

wrong do it again

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it hurts to be wrong but it hurts more to do nothing

The moments I have least expected in life usually drove me to one of three places – the gym, a church [of some kind], or the police station. If you don’t know me that list might tell you a lot – so let me explain.

The Gym

The gym is the place I go when all else goes wrong. When I lose someone, something or myself – I run, when I’m anxious or angry – I lift, and when I’m sad, well then I combine the two above and end up in bed for three days with achy muscles.

But what does this say about me?  It says – I hate having a lack of control, I hate being helpless, I hate standing still and there’s no way you can do any of those while holding 100+ pounds over your head.

Church

I don’t need Jesus, but he and I have been known to bro up from time to time. In the past few years, I have rediscovered a connection to something bigger than me – and while I am not fully ready to call it God – I do know that there is something about a beautiful church, about the art, the people, the universality of it that makes me feel small yet infinitely more than I am. [And if that confuses you – good, I am in the same boat.]

The Police Station

Let it be known that I have never been arrested – I do, however, have an uncanny ability to bear witness or be an advocate for those who have victimized. Translation – I know the precinct well but not in a negative way. This obviously has its pros and cons but playing the roles I have – I wouldn’t change that – because I was always where I needed to be.

Like I said, it hurts to be wrong but it hurts more to do nothing. Putting ourselves in situations that make us think is normal. In each of the three places above, I have been more thoughtful than everywhere else. The reason being – these are the best places to think, to go, to digest the things that occur that we least expect.

Putting situations that make us think is normal – but it doesn’t come without regret, it doesn’t come without a doubt.

“did I make the right call?”

“could I have handled that differently?”

“what if he/she was telling the truth?”

“what if I could have saved him?”

Enter the phrase – wrong, do it again.

Growing up when we didn’t do a chore right my mother would look at me and my brother and say, “wrong, do it again.” but sadly life isn’t like chores and neither is loss or the law. When things get hard you cannot always recognize that it is wrong and you certainly can’t do it again – but history repeats and eventually we realize that by continually doing what is right – you won’t regret the decisions you make because you know they are of the best intentions.

In the end, it isn’t about the questions – it is about the places we find the answers and while mine might or might not be ordinary – it is how my mind works, and so far it has benefited my own personal growth.

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

If her Voice was a Song

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If her voice was a song

Would your feet stand still?

or would your ears retreat in such a way that your legs could follow?

 

If her voice was a song

Would your vocal chords halt

and your mouth stay shut

to hear what she has to say?

 

If her voice was a song

would you forget the notes she wears on her skin

or would you pause for a moment and

appreciate the lines and layers of a woman

who knows how far she has been

 

If you met a woman

who’s voice was a song

who could breathe notes from thin or thick air

would you stop and linger there with her for a moment

 

if you met a woman whose voice was a song

would you listen

or would you be a coward

and run
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Relationships

On NOT Finding Love

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Call me hopeless but I am a sucker for a lost cause, an f boi, a dud, or a fixer-upper.

and maybe that’s why I always find myself on apps like tinder and bumble looking for ‘love’ I can’t find elsewhere – but for me what’s worse is that my brother [who I look up to for his resilience and strength and gigantic heart] finds love all day every day – but maybe that’s because he is never looking for it?

Choose Friendship over Boys

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I guess you could say I am a total glutton for punishment when it comes to men. I like the ones that never like me back – but how does one break the trend of broken men?

As you can assume – I wouldn’t be writing this post if I knew, but I do know one thing. I have felt a real connection, I have known easy romance – and it isn’t always sexual, in fact, I have had so many more easy friendships with men than I have had relationships. Which honestly can get pretty darn confusing if feelings get involved. [And they have]

See for me – it is ironically about trust, communication, and ease of speech. It’s finding a conversation in silence and being able to say absolutely anything without the additives and the bs – but I have only found that kind of ‘love’ and it is and will always be- far from possible.

Maybe it’s the fact that I get hung up on the idea of someone that keeps me from finding someone or something that is good for me. Maybe I joke and play and close myself off – but then again, if he can’t handle me at my strongest – he doesn’t deserve me decaffeinated.

I guess what it comes down to is that we all have the idea of the perfect person we would do anything to be with – but while that person might be perfectly right for you – maybe they aren’t right now.

At the end of the day, love is a waiting game paired with a game of chicken. Where at the end I will either find the perfect person to be with or get trampled by the cat lady/dog lady old maid lifestyle.

I Refuse to be Alone – But I will Never Settle

This past summer was one of extreme growth. Suffice to say – I made quite a few mistakes when it came to the men in my life. But what I realized through this is that growing up and becoming an adult isn’t about being in a relationship with anyone other than myself. Of all the boys I have loved, and all the ones who did me wrong – I learned from those experiences. I learned that the choices I make inebriated or not affect the life I live and honestly, I am grateful to have made those mistakes in the safe and controlled environments that I did.

The way I see it – romance is like a science experiment. You set a standard hypothesis, a possible outcome, pick your variables and see where the experiment takes you. When you start your journey you are not meant to know where it will lead – but that’s what makes following your intuition so powerful and interesting.

Look I am no love guru, I usually can’t give myself enough patience to love myself every day, but I am not now and I never have been alone.

Continue reading On NOT Finding Love →

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

How my English Major Lead me to a Financial Health and Wellness Company

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Have you ever had a Dream 

One that felt so real – so illogically real – and yet suddenly you were living it.

It isn’t as simple as Deja Vu nor as complicated as being able to predict the future. It just simply is – and isn’t – everything your mind came up with while you were sleeping. 

I’m not saying I believe in magic – It isn’t that simple, but I do believe that we have a far greater capacity to understand trends and data than our waking minds can never comprehend. And like I said I don’t believe in magic – and miracles are only grim fairytales for those who have prayed and lost – but there is something beautiful about an impossible dream that makes me want to know more of what my future holds.

A year ago I was writing a novel

I could see the building burning, the cubicles up in flame. I could see the frantic look in his eye [the main character] when he realized the irony of an insurance company burning to the ground. I can remember the smell of Chinese food on this man’s desk and the legacy his father had built for him – and then a year later I found myself working for a company that looks at health, wellness, and finance – that talks about insurance every day – and suddenly everything was just like I had imagined it, only there was far less smoke.

Continue reading How my English Major Lead me to a Financial Health and Wellness Company →

Relationships

Dear Teenagers, ‘Adults’ and Americans

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This post contains content relating to sexual assault – the contents of this post are not graphic but may trigger some readers due to its stance. If you or someone you know has been affected or impacted by sexual assault call the National Assult Help Line at 1-800-656-4673 or go to Womenshealth.gov for help.

An aside: this post was inspired by multiple conversations I have seen on social media today. It features content that is heated and inspired by events that this writer has both seen and experienced.

That being said, if you see a friend who is struggling or in need, reach out. Talk to them and help them in any way you can.

As a young female, some of my writings blame males for events I have encountered but the fact of the matter is that men are not entirely to blame. While reported assaults suggest that more females are assaulted than males – there is also a population of males who are affected. As much as we want to genderize this issue – It is also important to recognize that we as people, as a society, and as human beings need to make a move to change the status quo and take claims of assault seriously.

The current administration in the United States is not doing a good job when it comes to protecting our young women – there should be a shrinking number of girls who say #metoo but instead, it continues to grow. If you or someone else is in need call the National Assult Help Line at 1-800-656-4673 or go to Womenshealth.gov

and know that you are not alone.

Continue reading Dear Teenagers, ‘Adults’ and Americans →

22 for 2022 - College Tips, Just Post Grad Things

How to WIN at College

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First off – the Movies had it All Wrong

When starting college don’t try to be the top dog – be Becca from the Bellas, be fat Amy or Patrisha or you?

Dare to be the person you are and the one you’ve probably been running like hell from since you learned that being cool meant wearing $50 jeans or better off start being the person that runs from anyone who buys $50 jeans because the ones at target are half that and they are the comfiest ish in the world!

Reeling it in

Welcome, so you want to win at college – good, now ditch that expectation because trying to win will only warp the purpose of why you are here.

Look a couple weeks ago I gave my baby bro this lecture because he was bummed that strep would keep him from “parties, girls, drinking…  oh and class” [like bro why are you paying $60k a year for class to come last, if mom heard that your butt would be shipped back home and you’d be scrubbing the house top to bottom until the chemicals got your head right.] But don’t worry that isn’t the motive today.

Today I am going to help you win at College [are you ready?]

  1. Try less hard to be someone you aren’t [I realize there are a lot of negatives there… just go with it] – I used to think that the key to being popular was being the exact opposite of who I was in high school…

But what I realized [ oh about seven minutes ] after I stepped on to my college campus was that the person I was, would be, and was meant to be all along is kinda awesome. So if you wanna know what it takes to “win at college” well sit down [or stand up] and square up – because this will be the fight of your life. [KIDDING]

2. be open to failing – I have said this before but messing up is sometimes the best way to walk face first into a closed door that could lead you to all kinds of new experiences. Think about it – you leave 5 min early to get to class and you meet 10 new people. You stay in instead of going out – you learn something new about the people in your hall. Messing up is the best way to get lost on the right streets.

3. Follow your gut [enough said]

It seems to easy to be true but being a winner isn’t about the state championship or a ring or a varsity jacket – it’s about figuring out your next step – and the one after that and the one after that. I mean look at me – I never thought I’d be working, #adulting, etc the way I am but I took chances and worked toward the door I was walking into. I won at college because I was Fat Amy, I was Becca Mitchell and most of all I was myself. I was sassy, silly, fiercely misguided, weird and an all around awesome nerd. I learned how to be myself in college – and if you learn to be yourself – well then you can win at college too.

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Just Post Grad Things

Raise her to be Strong

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To the future dads, dudes – and my future husband about our baby girl.

Raise her to be Strong

Raise her to be Strong – not beautiful. See beauty is only skin deep but strength – strength is what carries you on.

Raise her to be strong – not for anyone else but for herself. So that when a boy tries to take advantage of her the first word from her lips is no and her first act is to defend herself.

Raise her to be strong – do not call her honey nor baby girl. Call her what she is – call her a warrior because from the moment she is born she will have to fight for everything she wants in this mans world.

Raise her to be strong – and remind her every day that strong is sexy. That true men [or women] don’t fall in love to watch beauty fade, they fall in love because it is god damn sexy to watch someone who can carry themselves through the good the bad and the ugly.

Raise her to be strong. Set a president for greatness on how she treats the world. How she realizes that muscles are a sign of strength but that there is nothing stronger than a heart that can push on and continue to love in even the darkest of times.

Raise her to be strong – to not listen to what others demand of her mind and her body.

Raise her to be strong so that she will not posses the ability to watch people around her become victims.

Raise her to be strong – and raise her to be an advocate for those who are not because we all know this world could use a lot more love.

Raise her to be strong.

For the love of god raise her to be strong. Because one day I might not be around to help you to hold her up.

My truth

I was raised by a man that thought the world of me. Who loved me unconditionally. My father was the greatest man I have ever known and few have ever risen to what my father was. My truth is that I am scared to raise a daughter in this world. See I always thought I wanted sons because boys seem easy. They have more privilege and I could give them a great life without much doubt. But what I realized is -my fear of bringing a beautiful and strong baby girl into this world is born out of the fear that I can not give her the world. I can’t give her everything because that will be her battle to fight.

The lack of equality in this nation is deafening. Between race, sex and sexual orientation – no one is true ly free to be who they truly want to be and it makes me sick.

The piece above will become a poem one day. But the girl that it is about – the daughter I haven’t yet prepared or thought to have yet. She will be so much more – and I can’t wait to one day meet her.

The Life and Times

If she cries pretty

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If she cries pretty

Do you think they will hear her tears

Like a stampede of elephants

Rather than a whistle in the wind.

If she cries pretty

Do you think they will finally notice her

Notice her scars

Notice the times she caused herself harm wishing she was good enough for any of them

If she cries pretty will she finally think herself worth it

Or will she just continue to be left

Utterly and completely confused.

Fitness and Wellness

Networking – Life From Behind the Burrito Counter.

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the drop [CLICK IT]

Over the past month or two myself and one of my bosses, Kirk, have been working hard to hype everyone up about the LifestrongApparel.com release of some all-new fitness apparel products that he was developing. Today the site went live and word is we are already selling out fast with some massive pre-orders from our men and women overseas.

With this high-quality gear I have noticed a boost in my own confidence, my approach on social media marketing, and in general, I am just so proud to be working with a small company that is lead by someone who serves our country and stands by his values.

To read the full backstory of how I found a job by working behind a burrito counter keep scrolling but to buy some gear – well you know the drill, click here  and use the promo code RACLS to get 5% off of your purchase then be sure to go on Instagram and follow @lifestrongapparel where you might find more discounts and fun material.

 

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the backstory

So first off I want to give a huge shout out to my guys and gals at El Diablo Burritos… to give a little backstory, I came out of my freshman year of college with a lot of soul searching left to do, and a high desire to let my liver recover. Coming out of my freshman year – I knew where I belonged, knew what I loved [realized who I loved] and sadly – none of it was at home anymore. eldiabloburritos2.jpg

Despite knowing where I was like the back of my hand, in my head I had never been so lost. Then I met my Burrito Baby family.

Look I know it sounds cliche but it is true that jobs like El Diablo, jobs where you’re on your feet and on a line for fourteen hours a day, they create families. See I knew that staff like I knew myself, sometimes too well – and sometimes not well enough, but working on that line taught me a lot about who I was – and made me realize what problems I still had to fix in my life.

Look I get it – people drill it into your brain that you should “shake hands and make connections” they tell you to be polite and introduce yourself – but they don’t tell you that if you are driven enough, and friendly enough you can change your life by meeting a couple of incredible people by just tendering their money while they grab their burrito…

img_1993I met Kirk while I was at El Diablo three or four years ago – he was handing out lifestrongfitness wristbands and working the side hustle he was building for himself when he wasn’t actively deployed.

Something about him handing that stuff out clicked for me – so I told him he should start working his business out of The Mill in Wilmington, where I was working my second job.

I gave him the numbers to call, the people to talk to – then he took his food and that was it.

A couple years passed, maybe one, maybe too – a working girl never knows – and I kept seeing Kirks clothes on Instagram, I loved the brand and was interested in getting some more marketing experience so I reached out.

See the benefit of wanting to work is that there are always people that need and want help [especially when you offer to work for free]. See the truth is, I knew I wasn’t going to work for Nike [which was good because I didn’t want to], instead I wanted to work with a small business, one that I could help grow and bounce ideas around with the CEO. Working with Kirk started with a message over Instagram. One step of me reaching out – telling a fellow Delaware, Burrito loving local, that I was looking for experience and I wanted to work for him. And then he said yes – and I guess the rest is history…

So why am I telling you this? Well, the first reason is that I want to prove a point that anyone – anyone who is driven and wants work experience can’t hurt themselves by putting themselves out there. By being willing to be told no or to be ignored, I actually was able to join a venture with someone who is an amazing guy to work with and who’s philosophies are just like mine.

And Second, well the other reason is that today Kirk is releasing some brand new life strong gear – and if I wasn’t at work you know I would be in mine right now. See what I have learned from working with Kirk is that connections are important, no matter where you make them.

By being nice to someone and making friends behind a checkout counter I was able to follow Kirk’s journey and then join it soon after. And this month alone we have been working on social media and hyping up today’s release – and I couldn’t be more proud to have been a part of it.

Taking chances and working hard leads to large gains and huge results – and with drive and determination, nothing can stop you from reaching your goals. And while I can’t say what is coming next to the site, I can tell you what’s going live today – and I can’t wait for you all to check it out.

 

 

 

The Life and Times

What it means to be ‘Lonely’

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It isn’t about Physically Being Alone

It is a desire for companionship. A need to have someone else around to quiet the silence and add a voice to the room. It’s about being so anxious that you are stuck – or so depressed that nothing makes sense. and at the end of the day, all anyone wants in this world is to be loved so why are we so quick to misunderstand those who cry or shy for help? Why are we so slow to understand what being lonely means in this country, and more importantly – in this age of social media.

What people don’t understand about loneliness is that it was never about physically being alone. It was a feeling of not being understood, a feeling of solitude in crowded rooms because you couldn’t explain what it was like being trapped in your own head. Feeling like – the only ones who appreciate you are the people who enjoy your twitter feed – being lonely isn’t about being quiet or physically alone, it’s about being heard when we say that a room is full BUT WE FEEL EMPTY.

See when you have anxiety…

You don’t need to be alone to feel lonely. When you have depression – you don’t have to cry to be sad. No matter where you wear your heart – being lonely, being sad, being scared, has absolutely nothing to do with being what someone else thinks defines any set of emotions. It has to do with you, and those like you all around the world.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association in America (ADAA):

  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.
  • Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.
  • People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.
  • Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events. (click for more)

And what I find most interesting is that despite these statistics – most people feel alone at one point or more in their lives – but few people actually reach out when they notice it. See truth is – it is hard to admit when we are scared, hard to open up to the crowd to yield to the traffic that comes with admitting we aren’t perfect – and being lonely may not be synonymous with being alone but it also doesn’t mean that the fix lies with throwing us to the wolves and the crowds. Being lonely and being alone are different – and so are the ways of treating those emotions.

At the end of the day, I am 1 of 40 million – and not just because my mom told me I am…

But maybe you are too and while we might not be perfect – we are who we are meant to be and sometimes – that means being perfectly and terribly lonely.

 

 

Relationships

Slutty or Single – the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground

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In this day and age, I struggle to understand dating culture. If I am single, I have to be clear what I am looking for, but if I don’t take the bait quick enough I am a prude. Similarly, if I am very interested but decide that this is not a good route for me, I am playing games or a slut.

So for me, personally, it sometimes feels like I can’t win. And I know I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

The Break Down

The ones who are interested don’t always commit [they prefer the buffet rather than the steak dinner], the ones who commit – ought to be committed with how fast they plan our future, and well, the ones in between don’t respond to you texting first because that is against protocol? Then, of course, you have the weekend flings, the line drive sliders [popping right into the Direct Messages] Now obviously these standard experiences do not wholly represent the population. I for one know a dozen brilliant, beautiful and amazing humans, but for every ‘good guy’ and goofball there is another a** hat who cheats, guilt’s, or pushes the envelope.

and yes. sometimes that one DB ruins the dating pool for the good ones and the ones who end up being a shoulder to cry on but that shouldn’t be the case. I mean …When did the first question in dating become “is he, or she, slutty and single? And what chance do I have with someone like that?’ when did dating become a death trap? and what can we, as young people do to change that?

Enter the Nice Guy

So I am one of those people who has messed up when it comes to finding the good ones. From my experience, the nice guy is the wrong guy, but the bad boy breaks your heart. And while every girl wants the boy who treats her right, she too quickly falls for the one that talks right, walks right, etc. etc. etc.

So technically, I have “dated” a lot of bad boys, but I have also never been in a relationship… Confused? Me too – but here’s how I see it – when I say dating, I  don’t mean officially in a relationship, but if someone has asked me out a couple times (on dates) and I have gone on said dates, I can reasonably assume that we are dating… right? – at least that would make sense, but no, often the good guys are the ones who want to date and the bad boys are just the ones we are talking with. So why don’t we go for the good ones?

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The Good Guy is the One that Stays

He’s the one who sticks around at the end of the party to walk you home, he can seem like a dork because “people like him don’t exist” [except they do]. He’s the one you can count on and the one who will tell you how it is.

In essence, the good guy is the one you underestimate but after living with the stereotypical “good guy” for most of my life [ie. baby bro] the good guy is also the one that gets the most hurt.

SO WHY DONT THE GOOD GIRLS GO FOR THE GOOD GUYS ???

I honestly don’t know – maybe we’re stupid, maybe we’ve lost the trust, maybe we don’t see you, but in any event, I think when it comes to being “Slutty or Single – when it comes to the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground” the middle ground we’re actually looking for is the good guy! 

but what do you think mr. mrs. or etc interweb – where do you think the middle ground is – and what do ‘we – the people’ need to do to get our heads out of our a**** and find it?