Tag Archives: alone

‘Tis the Season

As the holiday season for many people goes into full throttle, we are reminded of what happens around this time. We skip the turkey and mashed potatoes on Thanksgiving to get out in line before the sun comes up to get the best deals on that TV or gaming console we have been dreaming for ourselves. The materialistic narcissism takes over, even the best of us for the twenty something days leading up to the holidays. Its a competition to see who got the best, expensive, or the shiniest gift money can buy.

This is one of the reasons i have stopped enjoying the holiday season.

What ever happened to enjoy the TV specials like Rudolph, A Christmas Story, A Rugrats Hanukkah or my personal favorite; A Charlie Brown Christmas? Why can’t we enjoy the baking of cookies or festive treats for the holidays with family instead of going out constantly to a shopping mall and arguing about buying items? Where did the days of yule logs and egg nog go? Why do we value the dollar more than the value of time? Why are the holidays a chore?

i can’t figure this out each year when the holidays roll around again.

In my recent memory, one of the things that comes with the holiday season is finding the perfect gift. Even tho i am young, i have ceased the idea of finding the perfect gift for someone, the perfect gift does not have the color of green money if you haven’t figured that out yet. What i have started is to give gifts that have no value to them, no price tag or sale attached. These gifts are what we really need in this world, these gifts are the ones that are valued throughout the years, it doesn’t even collect dust on a shelf. I just give the simple gift of caring. Now you must be wondering what that means, well its very basic. I give the thing that seems to me missing in the holiday season. Whether it is coming home to help with some lawn work or cut a limb off a tree for my dad, to the late night phone calls with friends after a rough day. Showing you care during this season, it can mean the world to someone. Study’s show that with the demanding nature the holidays have along with those who do not have anyone to celebrate it with. Creating a black hole within the holiday cheer. We can change this, we just need to start where the basics lay, by caring about our fellow humans.

This holiday season, no matter what faith you practice or what your family situation is, reach out to your fellow human beings that may be stressed or are alone. It only takes a phone call or a text to invite them over for dinner on Christmas or for them to celebrate a whole new celebration and traditions within Hanukkah. Even if you don’t celebrate traditionally or at all, make your own traditions and holiday fun on something you want to do. Just because we come from different scriptures or beliefs should not create a wall between the prevention of stress and loneliness. By inviting someone in to not be alone you are practicing what you preach, you are doing good. So as i try to spread a cause for caring this season within my social groups and family, i ask you stop the shopping, stop the over done practices of lights and flashy things and try to spread compassionate vibes to show you care.

By Showing that you care for thy neighbor, family and friends it makes this holiday just a dash brighter for everyone. 

 

What it means to be ‘Lonely’

It isn’t about Physically Being Alone

It is a desire for companionship. A need to have someone else around to quiet the silence and add a voice to the room. It’s about being so anxious that you are stuck – or so depressed that nothing makes sense. and at the end of the day, all anyone wants in this world is to be loved so why are we so quick to misunderstand those who cry or shy for help? Why are we so slow to understand what being lonely means in this country, and more importantly – in this age of social media.

What people don’t understand about loneliness is that it was never about physically being alone. It was a feeling of not being understood, a feeling of solitude in crowded rooms because you couldn’t explain what it was like being trapped in your own head. Feeling like – the only ones who appreciate you are the people who enjoy your twitter feed – being lonely isn’t about being quiet or physically alone, it’s about being heard when we say that a room is full BUT WE FEEL EMPTY.

See when you have anxiety…

You don’t need to be alone to feel lonely. When you have depression – you don’t have to cry to be sad. No matter where you wear your heart – being lonely, being sad, being scared, has absolutely nothing to do with being what someone else thinks defines any set of emotions. It has to do with you, and those like you all around the world.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association in America (ADAA):

  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.
  • Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.
  • People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.
  • Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events. (click for more)

And what I find most interesting is that despite these statistics – most people feel alone at one point or more in their lives – but few people actually reach out when they notice it. See truth is – it is hard to admit when we are scared, hard to open up to the crowd to yield to the traffic that comes with admitting we aren’t perfect – and being lonely may not be synonymous with being alone but it also doesn’t mean that the fix lies with throwing us to the wolves and the crowds. Being lonely and being alone are different – and so are the ways of treating those emotions.

At the end of the day, I am 1 of 40 million – and not just because my mom told me I am…

But maybe you are too and while we might not be perfect – we are who we are meant to be and sometimes – that means being perfectly and terribly lonely.