Tag Archives: Life

Kevin at a Desk, Relationships

Until the End of the Road

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On this fall day,

I will walk with you until the end of the road comes

Where it reaches the gravel and no path has been made

Where the leaves have already turned their curtain call colors

The tall weeds that are beginning to die, block the sight of the valley that lays below you

And a thin silver chain that can not stop even a silk moth.

But it stopped me.

You can beg me to keep walking, i will not go.

You see, i haven’t prepared to walk down that steep even if it is a hill

I am wearing sandals and you are wearing boots.

I know we talked about wearing the right things to this journey,

 

But you know i never listen.

 

This road was never in my visionary dreams.

I was never destined to walk this far, not on this road with you.

I know you felt sometimes when you dragged me on this road,

maybe it was the childhood dream coming true for you

For me, i felt like your anchor

Preventing you from taking this road faster

Creating friction just from my diction of the challenges that lay in front of us.

Yet you carried me?

I guess you are more amazing than i deserve.

 

But its time for you to continue this journey,

 

Create blame for this change on me,

You say you’ll never remember me that way, but if it helps you succeed in the future

ill take the arrow, ill be the pin cushion, ill stand in front of the bullet

As long as it creates peace within one soul

Now go, the sun sets over my shoulder.

Just remember that if this was meant to be, i know this road

I am a fast walker, Hell, ill run to catch up to you.

But i may change along the way as you should to…

So just keep walking until the end of the road

maybe we will be walking on another road

Together.

 

 

 

 

22 for 2022 - College Tips, Just Post Grad Things

How to WIN at College

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First off – the Movies had it All Wrong

When starting college don’t try to be the top dog – be Becca from the Bellas, be fat Amy or Patrisha or you?

Dare to be the person you are and the one you’ve probably been running like hell from since you learned that being cool meant wearing $50 jeans or better off start being the person that runs from anyone who buys $50 jeans because the ones at target are half that and they are the comfiest ish in the world!

Reeling it in

Welcome, so you want to win at college – good, now ditch that expectation because trying to win will only warp the purpose of why you are here.

Look a couple weeks ago I gave my baby bro this lecture because he was bummed that strep would keep him from “parties, girls, drinking…  oh and class” [like bro why are you paying $60k a year for class to come last, if mom heard that your butt would be shipped back home and you’d be scrubbing the house top to bottom until the chemicals got your head right.] But don’t worry that isn’t the motive today.

Today I am going to help you win at College [are you ready?]

  1. Try less hard to be someone you aren’t [I realize there are a lot of negatives there… just go with it] – I used to think that the key to being popular was being the exact opposite of who I was in high school…

But what I realized [ oh about seven minutes ] after I stepped on to my college campus was that the person I was, would be, and was meant to be all along is kinda awesome. So if you wanna know what it takes to “win at college” well sit down [or stand up] and square up – because this will be the fight of your life. [KIDDING]

2. be open to failing – I have said this before but messing up is sometimes the best way to walk face first into a closed door that could lead you to all kinds of new experiences. Think about it – you leave 5 min early to get to class and you meet 10 new people. You stay in instead of going out – you learn something new about the people in your hall. Messing up is the best way to get lost on the right streets.

3. Follow your gut [enough said]

It seems to easy to be true but being a winner isn’t about the state championship or a ring or a varsity jacket – it’s about figuring out your next step – and the one after that and the one after that. I mean look at me – I never thought I’d be working, #adulting, etc the way I am but I took chances and worked toward the door I was walking into. I won at college because I was Fat Amy, I was Becca Mitchell and most of all I was myself. I was sassy, silly, fiercely misguided, weird and an all around awesome nerd. I learned how to be myself in college – and if you learn to be yourself – well then you can win at college too.

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Higher Thoughts, The Life and Times

All I want is Happiness

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I used to think I had life all figured out, then I realized I’m only 21! I used to think all I needed to do was go to school, get my degree, them BAM I’d get hired, find love, be independent, and then life would be good. Thats it. I would peak, be happy, and that would be that. But the more I imagined that scenario I realized that its not that easy, even for the rich an famous.

Think about it, a lot of people strive for money, fame, health, looks, etc. But after growing up with money and in poverty (long story),

“I realized I just want to grow up to be happy.”

But the funny thing is, is that I don’t know what makes me “happy” anymore. For a long time it was money, then finding love, then just my friends, and then as all of those things faded away I was left standing there empty handed, by myself but yet still not unhappy. Interesting right? All the concepts I thought brought me joy were gone yet I was still feeling okay! Don’t get me wrong it sucked and hurt to lose them, but I still made it out alive and was fine. So I was left standing there, to ask myself again what makes me happy.

We spend our whole lives striving for things and concepts we think we need but what if we all kept it simple, what if we all just just lived!

So while I’m racing to find out my purpose and who I am, I realized that, that is what life is. It’s figuring out who I am as an individual, but I can’t find it in 21 years, or 50, or even 75. Sure as live goes on we grow with others and all sorts of ways but in the end, it’s only you who goes on alone. As scary as that thought is, its true,

it’s reality.

Life is about the memories and moments I create, the paths and roads I pave through out, and most importantly the relationships build from start to finish.

“With every relationship I build that fails, I realize something about myself, I find more of myself I didn’t even know I had. It’s like a wake up call that I didn’t know I needed. Some are painful, some are quick, but each one teaches me more and more.”

“It’s like lives most powerful lessons are brought through pain, but finish in strength.”

Everyone and everything alive only has a certain amount of time on this Earth, and the scary part is that not everyone realizes that, so we all sit here being alive but are really any of us living? And I wish I could tell you how to “live” but the truth is, is that living is a concept that is different with everyone. That maybe instead of over thinking on how my life will be great as time goes on and I “figure it out” that,

life would be better if I just lived in the moment!

Ya know? And just let life happen and I’ll figure it out on the way. Don’t forget the hard times, and don’t call them the bad times, but realize that those are part of life. Those are the parts that help us figure out life and ourselves the most. Moments define our lives, memories define our lives, but if we keep trying to find or create them we slowly start to forget why we want them.

“You know its funny, growing up I always feared death, but I think what I really fear is not living when alive.”

So what if we all stopped taking life so seriously and just lived, took chances, risks, and just went with it. I mean the more you think about it, we were all just a random pick of life, you never know what kind of story will come when each one begins.

Kevin at a Desk

Being Adopted by a Friend’s Family

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WE, the young people usually spend our summers on the road traveling from friend to friend getting every second out of summer.

In some instances, instead of driving home we stay the night on whatever, couch, bed or floor we can get to accommodate ourselves for the night. Its nothing we complain about after a night of fun (what ever that may be). We all reach that point where we are seen so much that you COULD be considered part of the family. I mean you spend enough time with them, you talk with their direct family members, hell you are on a first name basis with their second cousin twice removed! ( Yes i am very weird) But what if you REALLY became part of the family? How would you feel about the experience?

What if the family started inviting you to events that normal friends might not be a part of? What if they were treating you like a little brother and busted your chops the same way? How would you react when the niece and nephew of your best friend started asking for you and wondering where you go when you leave their house. How would you feel when they started calling you their Uncle…….

Whoa.

So if you could piece it together, this happened to me this past year. One of my best friends who i roomed with for graduate school brought me home a couple of weekends out of the year and i would hang around, go fishing, eat MARIA’s subs and be legit adopted by these wonderful people. One of his siblings has two wonderful small children that always wait for the day when i show up and get to play and watch Aquanauts and Disney Movies and basically be the best thing since slice bread. (Not that i am but i appreciate it once in a while). In the middle of the summer, their mom yelled out to the kids when i arrived on a warm May afternoon ” Look who’s here, its Uncle Kevin!” WHOA…..

Being called uncle? Being part of the family? It felt unreal, like a pause in time. I had never held a title like that to someone. It felt unnatural yet it fit like a glove.

Being an only child, i will never naturally experience being an Uncle to a sibling’s child.

Ill never get to have the fun uncle experience with my family, ill never get the experience of them growing up, coming to Sunday suppers, seeing them graduate. Its a weird feeling. Of course when i am old and grey and i marry into a family that may have nieces and nephews,  i wont be looking upon this post with much thought.

Its still a great feeling to be called an uncle and part of the family when it comes to my best friend. They legit treat me like family and its one of the best feelings. I don’t know where i would be without the long trips down to the cape to go fish, to eat, and to kick back with such a great family. If you ever find someone who has a family that has this much love to spare, its a good place to stay and become their adoptive son, even if its only for the summer.

The Life and Times

If she cries pretty

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If she cries pretty

Do you think they will hear her tears

Like a stampede of elephants

Rather than a whistle in the wind.

If she cries pretty

Do you think they will finally notice her

Notice her scars

Notice the times she caused herself harm wishing she was good enough for any of them

If she cries pretty will she finally think herself worth it

Or will she just continue to be left

Utterly and completely confused.

Kevin at a Desk

24 Songs to Listen to Before You Turn 24

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You have friends that just never go away.

That’s a good thing. They say that after a friendship has gone seven years, it will last a lifetime. So i guess you’re stuck with me kid. Thank you for all the dumb shit we have gotten into over the years. From the long walks to Walgreens to see you suck at skateboarding, to bar hoping late at night on my birthday, we have done it all. Even though for the fifth year in a row you’ll be half way across the country ill still be calling you at 12:01am to tell you how fucking old you are, i’m glad we got all this stuff ahead of us to explore.

Music has always been a topic that we have both gotten to discover together. IN the beginning it was the classic middle school jams of Fall Out Boy and Divided By Friday, then we evolved into different tastes of music. He began to focus on the classical music aspect because it improved his talents and i went to the Teen angst phase that i sometimes still think im in. One thing that we always did was when we found something that clicked with us, we sent it along to the other to critique and break down. Actually as i wrote this he sent me to pieces to listen to online. None the less, music has been one of the many things we have used to stay in touch over the many years of moving around.

So in honor of turning 24, here are the songs that I believe you should listen to before you turn 24:

Happy Birthday Brother!

  1. Whats my Age — Blink 182
  2. Sober Up — AJR
  3. Timeless –Jon Bellion
  4. Everybody Wants Somebody — Patrick Stump
  5. Take Me Home, Country Roads — John Denver
  6. Closer — The Chainsmokers
  7. Strawberry Swing — Coldplay
  8. Aquaman — Walk the Moon
  9. Sunday Candy — Donnie Trumpet & The Social Experiment
  10. Polaroid — Imagine Dragons
  11. Hometown — Twenty One Pilots
  12. Don’t Burn Yourself Out — Dan Masterson
  13. My Way — Frank Sinatra
  14. You and Me– Dave Matthews Band
  15. Le Vie en Rose — Louis Armstrong
  16. Cant Help Falling in Love with You — Twenty One Pilots (Elvis Presley)
  17. The Longest Time — Billy Joel
  18. Too Good at Goodbyes — Sam Smith
  19. Under Pressure — Queen
  20. Don’t — Ed Sheeran
  21. This is Gospel — Panic! at the Disco
  22. I Dont Love You — My Chemical Romance
  23. Same Drugs — Chance the Rapper
  24. The Wonder Years — Jon Bellion

And a special one :

25. Shostakovitch’s Fifth Symphony ( Special Gift for the Birthday Boy)

Higher Thoughts, The Human Alexa, Top Stories

lose, find, navigate

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Loss is a weird concept

because

you can Lose a lot of things

you can Lose a soccer game,

a chess match,

or a hot dog eating contest,

or come in last in a dance recital

 

you can Lose time, and you can Lose hope

you can Lose pets, and you can Lose people

you can Lose your car keys,

or,

Lose your way

(which is more difficult to find if,

you also happen to Lose

your gps)

clear glass with red sand grainer
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

i’ve been fortunate

to not have Lost a lot of people

but the ones I have,

Hurt.

 

you know the school saying,

quality,

over quantity

 

sometimes you may feel

like you’ve

Lost yourself

 

you may go

on a spiritual

or soulful

journey to find you

again

 

but the you

that you find

is different every time

beige analog gauge
Photo by Ylanite Koppens on Pexels.com

i think the scariest thing,

is not spiders or monsters,

not killers or WWIII

but ghosts, of sorts.

 

the scariest thing,

i believe,

is Losing memories of those

whom we love

but can no longer

make new memories with,

because they,

also,

have been Lost.

 

when you Lose something,

important.

something,

that hurts your heart

to Lose.

 

you may try to find new ways

to look at the world

for better

or for worse

 

but the problem is,

what are you to do

when you realize

nothing can help find them.

person s hand on black board with hello text beside brown mug

when you figure out,

that just being kind,

or reaching out,

while great in the moment,

can’t find someone you’ve already Lost.

 

it can’t bring back

your Lost friend

your Lost sibling

your Lost parent

like you can find your car keys

or practice your soccer skills

 

but it can,

possibly,

prevent someone else from Losing

something they love

 

it can help

navigate

the strangeness of our hearts

white and gray textile
Photo by Tobi on Pexels.com

it can help mellow

the way we sway

through the winds

that whistle like our lost items,

our Lost

emotions.

 

Loss is a weird concept

because

sometimes I feel like I have

Lost something

that I never even had in the first place.

adult anger art black background
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

xoxo

Kevin at a Desk

Why Every 20 Something Needs to listen to Jon Bellion

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” We’re not sad at all, We know you have to leave and we’re not mad at all, You’ll be back in town and we’ll play basketball” –Luxury 

If you have ever had a favorite musician come out with an album you just can’t take off repeat on Spotify or dig through a discography of a new artist you found on Pandora, chances are you’re gonna understand this article a lot better. Music is like medicine for the soul, when we have a feeling or “ailment” we put on that favorite record or song and it begins the healing process. One of my favorite artist of all time has to be Jon Bellion. His music is unlike anything else i have ever heard before for multiple reasons; the passion, the lyrics, and too may other things to mention before i run out of space in this article. When you listen to Jon, he gets the human spirit in ways we haven’t heard before, mainly because he appeals to millennial’s who are a generation of firsts and different conversations than generations of  yesterday. However the question still remains: Why should i listen to him?

  1. The lyrics hit you like Fucking Bricks

The lyrics are in sane, Jon hits the core of emotions in every song, mix-tape and most recently his first album that he has produced. The lines do not sway with modern pop songs that take IQ points away from its listeners, instead he goes for the stuff that apply to his core listeners especially when it comes to Mental Health, Self Discovery, Personal Success, and any other topic we experience in our 20’s. If you want a direct example go Listen to Human off of the Mix-Tape The Definition. Or if you want to go on the discussion of mortality The Wonder Years is a great example of how our generation is nostalgic and wishes for more time as children.

“So take me back to the days when I was younger All this bullshit is overrated “– The Wonder Years

2. He takes the time to care for each song

On YouTube you can see the behind the scenes making of some of his best hits and boy does he dedicate himself to the craft. Jon develops the tone and tempo of his music to match what he’s trying to convey to the listeners if its an upbeat message, the tempo changes to create that. If the message has melancholy undertones Jon matches the sound to embrace it. What amazes me is when you break down the basics of the songs he has to the very core of the beat; its a sound he makes, a synthesizer, and his ideas. Nothing more. His music has a purer feeling to it because its hand crafted to the point where we could call it old school style.

The secrets you tell me, I’ll take to my grave, There’s bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway, And if you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed,I know that you love me, love me. Even when I lose my head; Guillotine — Guillotine

3. He doesn’t hold back

Jon doesnt just talk about the generic love relationships, daily life issue, self image, money problems we all have in the same light that maybe pop artist would. He talks very openly of drug usage, faith, and what its like to be him in a very realistic way. Off of The Human Condition, Jon talks about the opioid crisis affecting not only his own hometown but the effect it has on america and her citizens in the song Morning in America. What artist takes something affecting their neighborhood and sheds a true light on it? Not many. If they even attack the subject i feel as if they play it down or make it  about themselves. Jon even goes into the nitty gritty of things like being an up and coming artist looking for a living, love that he can never have, and the hope fame doesn’t change him among numerous other topics.

“When the lions come and they turn to fight, Will you lose your soul?, Will you lose your pride?, Cause the only thing they needs, To smell a drop of fear inside, When the lions come, will you turn to fight?”              — When the Lions Come

4. All the Feels

Wait until you find that one song, the one that hits you the most whether it reminds you of a friend, a family member, an event in your life what ever it is Jon will pull at the heart strings. For me, the song Luxury off of The Definition is that song for me. It brings back my memories of senior year with my good friends and the fact that we were going our separate paths. Back to the point, his music stirs in the soul what we always think about and says it for us so we don’t look weird pouring it out. I have seen new people listening to his music, who are music snubs and finding something they can connect to and maybe even help them through the tougher times.

There’s someone gorgeous in my bed tonight, Yet I’m still petrified that I’ll die alone –Human

5. He is one of us

Jon was signed to a major label after his first mix-tape but he kept it on the down low to prevent his fan base from thinking he was a sellout. Jon built his musical abilities and fan base the old fashion way thus why so many have been drawn to his music. Essentially he is one of us, he has gone through the issue we go through and turned it into music medication for us to use. He never takes his fame to seriously and he never forgets who he was before he made it big. I cant think about a lot of artist who make it big and keep the same mentality they had when they weren’t worth much to record companies ( Only two i can think of is Twenty One Pilots and AJR).  In short fame never got to him, hes always been like this.

“All he needed was a platform, built a real fan base, Took ’em with him when the deal came, Selling out in every state, Signed a deal after his first tape, But he kept it on the low, They could never say he sold out, That’s why they come to every show” –He is the Same

Basically if you’re a 20 something, then Jon Bellion is your next artist to binge. His style and meaning behind every lyric he puts out speaks to something you have gone, going or will go through in your twenties. If nothing its good music to jam to at your next social gathering.

The Life and Times

What it means to be ‘Lonely’

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It isn’t about Physically Being Alone

It is a desire for companionship. A need to have someone else around to quiet the silence and add a voice to the room. It’s about being so anxious that you are stuck – or so depressed that nothing makes sense. and at the end of the day, all anyone wants in this world is to be loved so why are we so quick to misunderstand those who cry or shy for help? Why are we so slow to understand what being lonely means in this country, and more importantly – in this age of social media.

What people don’t understand about loneliness is that it was never about physically being alone. It was a feeling of not being understood, a feeling of solitude in crowded rooms because you couldn’t explain what it was like being trapped in your own head. Feeling like – the only ones who appreciate you are the people who enjoy your twitter feed – being lonely isn’t about being quiet or physically alone, it’s about being heard when we say that a room is full BUT WE FEEL EMPTY.

See when you have anxiety…

You don’t need to be alone to feel lonely. When you have depression – you don’t have to cry to be sad. No matter where you wear your heart – being lonely, being sad, being scared, has absolutely nothing to do with being what someone else thinks defines any set of emotions. It has to do with you, and those like you all around the world.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association in America (ADAA):

  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.
  • Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.
  • People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.
  • Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events. (click for more)

And what I find most interesting is that despite these statistics – most people feel alone at one point or more in their lives – but few people actually reach out when they notice it. See truth is – it is hard to admit when we are scared, hard to open up to the crowd to yield to the traffic that comes with admitting we aren’t perfect – and being lonely may not be synonymous with being alone but it also doesn’t mean that the fix lies with throwing us to the wolves and the crowds. Being lonely and being alone are different – and so are the ways of treating those emotions.

At the end of the day, I am 1 of 40 million – and not just because my mom told me I am…

But maybe you are too and while we might not be perfect – we are who we are meant to be and sometimes – that means being perfectly and terribly lonely.

 

 

Kevin at a Desk

Why You Should Give Back

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“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” — Albus Dumbledore

In recent days since the chaotic scene in the Merrimack Valley that left numerous people without power, without homes and for one family without a son it seems like a nightmare that has bled into reality. For me and many who read this article, the Merrimack Valley; which includes Lawrence, Andover, North Andover and many more towns consider it their adoptive home, support has been pouring in to the area to help re energize the great area and her people. I know when i saw the tragedy unfold on TV and social media from miles away at Anna Maria College that i was devastated with the news. I have worked in those communities, with those outstanding people who are doing great work.  I can honestly say i wish i could have left at that moment to help volunteer somewhere to help out the community that took me in for five years of college. You may think that this has rocked them to their core and will change everything, but you are wrong.

The people of the Merrimack Valley are stubborn and resilient, they wont let this shake who they truly are.

So, Why should you give back to not only this community but all communities that suffer? Well simply its the right thing to do. It appeals to the human spirit of helping out their neighbor in times of need and doing what we can, when we can. The human spirit is always alive in those who are affected by the worst things, and those who reach out during the worse events we can imagine. Be the good people want to see especially in these times where people may not see the good very often even though its right next door to them. Help your neighbor out and they will help you out when time comes.

There are many ways that you can give back but i hope you don’t give back in two ways; Don’t Donate to the Red Cross and don’t do nothing for them.

Now the Red Cross is a very well respected organization and i applaud for what they do but there are numerous local organizations that have done fantastic work for the people  of the Merrimack Valley. They work day in and day out to help volunteer for their communities, not the ones they get assigned. These great people are just common folk, people who heard a calling to serve others in food pantry, shelters, thrift shops and numerous other ways they felt best to provided a genuine comfort of safety and security to the people. Merrimack College students who have done service learning with these organizations will agree with me on the time and effort they have seen given back to the less fortunate. So if you choose to donate, please consider researching these groups instead of the Red Cross and other Big Name Organizations.

Secondly, i really hope you don’t just sit by and wait until this event has passed to have done something. Being inactive in this time of need isn’t necessarily a sin, but its not what you should be doing. You don’t have to go up the Merrimack Valley and volunteer until you are tired and given everything away, its the simplicity of giving some time and money to helping the effort. The simple act of giving a donation to a local charity or even donating some time here and there makes the biggest difference even if you don’t see the effects first hand, they are there happening every day.

So i ask that you don’t just send thoughts and prayers or sit on the couch saying “Thank God it isn’t me out there” People can’t use prayers for clothing, or feed their kids with thoughts.

To those who have been adopted by the Merrimack Valley Community, its time to come home and give back.

 

Here are some of the great local organizations that are helping the Merrimack Valley:

  • Lazarus House
  • Merrimack Valley Food Bank
  • Emmaus Inc.
  • Bread and Roses
  • Merrimack Valley Catholic Charities
  • Merrimack Valley Habitat for Humanity
  • Donations can be made to the Senior Center
  • Lawrence Facebook Page has numerous other sites

Or donated to a GoFundMe Page set up for the people of the Merrimack Valley by Merrimack Student Audrey Regan

https://www.gofundme.com/lawrence-andover-n-andover-recover

 

 

Relationships

Slutty or Single – the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground

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In this day and age, I struggle to understand dating culture. If I am single, I have to be clear what I am looking for, but if I don’t take the bait quick enough I am a prude. Similarly, if I am very interested but decide that this is not a good route for me, I am playing games or a slut.

So for me, personally, it sometimes feels like I can’t win. And I know I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

The Break Down

The ones who are interested don’t always commit [they prefer the buffet rather than the steak dinner], the ones who commit – ought to be committed with how fast they plan our future, and well, the ones in between don’t respond to you texting first because that is against protocol? Then, of course, you have the weekend flings, the line drive sliders [popping right into the Direct Messages] Now obviously these standard experiences do not wholly represent the population. I for one know a dozen brilliant, beautiful and amazing humans, but for every ‘good guy’ and goofball there is another a** hat who cheats, guilt’s, or pushes the envelope.

and yes. sometimes that one DB ruins the dating pool for the good ones and the ones who end up being a shoulder to cry on but that shouldn’t be the case. I mean …When did the first question in dating become “is he, or she, slutty and single? And what chance do I have with someone like that?’ when did dating become a death trap? and what can we, as young people do to change that?

Enter the Nice Guy

So I am one of those people who has messed up when it comes to finding the good ones. From my experience, the nice guy is the wrong guy, but the bad boy breaks your heart. And while every girl wants the boy who treats her right, she too quickly falls for the one that talks right, walks right, etc. etc. etc.

So technically, I have “dated” a lot of bad boys, but I have also never been in a relationship… Confused? Me too – but here’s how I see it – when I say dating, I  don’t mean officially in a relationship, but if someone has asked me out a couple times (on dates) and I have gone on said dates, I can reasonably assume that we are dating… right? – at least that would make sense, but no, often the good guys are the ones who want to date and the bad boys are just the ones we are talking with. So why don’t we go for the good ones?

pexels-photo-298018

The Good Guy is the One that Stays

He’s the one who sticks around at the end of the party to walk you home, he can seem like a dork because “people like him don’t exist” [except they do]. He’s the one you can count on and the one who will tell you how it is.

In essence, the good guy is the one you underestimate but after living with the stereotypical “good guy” for most of my life [ie. baby bro] the good guy is also the one that gets the most hurt.

SO WHY DONT THE GOOD GIRLS GO FOR THE GOOD GUYS ???

I honestly don’t know – maybe we’re stupid, maybe we’ve lost the trust, maybe we don’t see you, but in any event, I think when it comes to being “Slutty or Single – when it comes to the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground” the middle ground we’re actually looking for is the good guy! 

but what do you think mr. mrs. or etc interweb – where do you think the middle ground is – and what do ‘we – the people’ need to do to get our heads out of our a**** and find it?

 

Kevin at a Desk

A Letter to My Mentors

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A letter is not enough to say two simple words of gratitude to you and the work you have done.

I can’t thank you enough for the path that you kept me on, even though I may not have seen it. You were not wavered by my big stupid mouth and my even stupider actions like when i refused to study or eat breakfast and maybe even went off the deep end. You stayed your course and got my ship through the rough waters. I can remember the times where I was down and out, on my last strike and you loaned your time and energy to show me how to hit the ball out of the park even though I was only looking for a single. I can tell you all the dark times that I was alone in my own room and everyone walked by me, you took the time to watch me and made sure I was safe even if you didn’t know what you were doing for me. Having that open door in the middle of the day or shooting the breeze with us after class gave me a sense of security that added on to the development I needed.

For my mentors reading this, I hope you never felt burdened by me in any way. I know what it means to be overwhelmed with your own struggles and work while also dealing with me. It can grow and weigh on you dragging you down. I know those times where you could have shut the door, gone home and forgotten about the day but chose to answer the late-night text messages or emails I sent instead.

For the mentors that do not walk this earth anymore, your lessons and leadership never ceases to inspire me. You have set the standard for what i need to be to others both in the good times and the bad. I know that i must develop my standards on my own but always know that you are the benchmark, you are the bar i will never be able to reach, and that is OK, I don’t think i deserve to be there quite yet but ill be there soon enough.

I know the old standby line of how it’s your job to help me is relevant in this argument but the job never defines where you stop the responsibility and become your own self again.

If I was that much of a burden then I understand but know this, I am in your debt.

So I guess the work you have put in has started to show its value finally. The present day me is someone that can handle his own shit while once again taking on the issues and dilemmas of eighteen-year-old freshmen who may be living away from home for the first time. It is because of your wisdom, love, and empathy that I stand before you a changed man because of you and for that I cannot simply use two words to express my gratitude. Even this letter does not have enough words, not enough emotion to say….

 

Thank You