Kevin at a Desk

Why Every 20 Something Needs to listen to Jon Bellion

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” We’re not sad at all, We know you have to leave and we’re not mad at all, You’ll be back in town and we’ll play basketball” –Luxury 

If you have ever had a favorite musician come out with an album you just can’t take off repeat on Spotify or dig through a discography of a new artist you found on Pandora, chances are you’re gonna understand this article a lot better. Music is like medicine for the soul, when we have a feeling or “ailment” we put on that favorite record or song and it begins the healing process. One of my favorite artist of all time has to be Jon Bellion. His music is unlike anything else i have ever heard before for multiple reasons; the passion, the lyrics, and too may other things to mention before i run out of space in this article. When you listen to Jon, he gets the human spirit in ways we haven’t heard before, mainly because he appeals to millennial’s who are a generation of firsts and different conversations than generations of  yesterday. However the question still remains: Why should i listen to him?

  1. The lyrics hit you like Fucking Bricks

The lyrics are in sane, Jon hits the core of emotions in every song, mix-tape and most recently his first album that he has produced. The lines do not sway with modern pop songs that take IQ points away from its listeners, instead he goes for the stuff that apply to his core listeners especially when it comes to Mental Health, Self Discovery, Personal Success, and any other topic we experience in our 20’s. If you want a direct example go Listen to Human off of the Mix-Tape The Definition. Or if you want to go on the discussion of mortality The Wonder Years is a great example of how our generation is nostalgic and wishes for more time as children.

“So take me back to the days when I was younger All this bullshit is overrated “– The Wonder Years

2. He takes the time to care for each song

On YouTube you can see the behind the scenes making of some of his best hits and boy does he dedicate himself to the craft. Jon develops the tone and tempo of his music to match what he’s trying to convey to the listeners if its an upbeat message, the tempo changes to create that. If the message has melancholy undertones Jon matches the sound to embrace it. What amazes me is when you break down the basics of the songs he has to the very core of the beat; its a sound he makes, a synthesizer, and his ideas. Nothing more. His music has a purer feeling to it because its hand crafted to the point where we could call it old school style.

The secrets you tell me, I’ll take to my grave, There’s bones in my closet, but you hang stuff anyway, And if you have nightmares, we’ll dance on the bed,I know that you love me, love me. Even when I lose my head; Guillotine — Guillotine

3. He doesn’t hold back

Jon doesnt just talk about the generic love relationships, daily life issue, self image, money problems we all have in the same light that maybe pop artist would. He talks very openly of drug usage, faith, and what its like to be him in a very realistic way. Off of The Human Condition, Jon talks about the opioid crisis affecting not only his own hometown but the effect it has on america and her citizens in the song Morning in America. What artist takes something affecting their neighborhood and sheds a true light on it? Not many. If they even attack the subject i feel as if they play it down or make it  about themselves. Jon even goes into the nitty gritty of things like being an up and coming artist looking for a living, love that he can never have, and the hope fame doesn’t change him among numerous other topics.

“When the lions come and they turn to fight, Will you lose your soul?, Will you lose your pride?, Cause the only thing they needs, To smell a drop of fear inside, When the lions come, will you turn to fight?”              — When the Lions Come

4. All the Feels

Wait until you find that one song, the one that hits you the most whether it reminds you of a friend, a family member, an event in your life what ever it is Jon will pull at the heart strings. For me, the song Luxury off of The Definition is that song for me. It brings back my memories of senior year with my good friends and the fact that we were going our separate paths. Back to the point, his music stirs in the soul what we always think about and says it for us so we don’t look weird pouring it out. I have seen new people listening to his music, who are music snubs and finding something they can connect to and maybe even help them through the tougher times.

There’s someone gorgeous in my bed tonight, Yet I’m still petrified that I’ll die alone –Human

5. He is one of us

Jon was signed to a major label after his first mix-tape but he kept it on the down low to prevent his fan base from thinking he was a sellout. Jon built his musical abilities and fan base the old fashion way thus why so many have been drawn to his music. Essentially he is one of us, he has gone through the issue we go through and turned it into music medication for us to use. He never takes his fame to seriously and he never forgets who he was before he made it big. I cant think about a lot of artist who make it big and keep the same mentality they had when they weren’t worth much to record companies ( Only two i can think of is Twenty One Pilots and AJR).  In short fame never got to him, hes always been like this.

“All he needed was a platform, built a real fan base, Took ’em with him when the deal came, Selling out in every state, Signed a deal after his first tape, But he kept it on the low, They could never say he sold out, That’s why they come to every show” –He is the Same

Basically if you’re a 20 something, then Jon Bellion is your next artist to binge. His style and meaning behind every lyric he puts out speaks to something you have gone, going or will go through in your twenties. If nothing its good music to jam to at your next social gathering.

Fitness and Wellness

Networking – Life From Behind the Burrito Counter.

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the drop [CLICK IT]

Over the past month or two myself and one of my bosses, Kirk, have been working hard to hype everyone up about the LifestrongApparel.com release of some all-new fitness apparel products that he was developing. Today the site went live and word is we are already selling out fast with some massive pre-orders from our men and women overseas.

With this high-quality gear I have noticed a boost in my own confidence, my approach on social media marketing, and in general, I am just so proud to be working with a small company that is lead by someone who serves our country and stands by his values.

To read the full backstory of how I found a job by working behind a burrito counter keep scrolling but to buy some gear – well you know the drill, click here  and use the promo code RACLS to get 5% off of your purchase then be sure to go on Instagram and follow @lifestrongapparel where you might find more discounts and fun material.

 

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the backstory

So first off I want to give a huge shout out to my guys and gals at El Diablo Burritos… to give a little backstory, I came out of my freshman year of college with a lot of soul searching left to do, and a high desire to let my liver recover. Coming out of my freshman year – I knew where I belonged, knew what I loved [realized who I loved] and sadly – none of it was at home anymore. eldiabloburritos2.jpg

Despite knowing where I was like the back of my hand, in my head I had never been so lost. Then I met my Burrito Baby family.

Look I know it sounds cliche but it is true that jobs like El Diablo, jobs where you’re on your feet and on a line for fourteen hours a day, they create families. See I knew that staff like I knew myself, sometimes too well – and sometimes not well enough, but working on that line taught me a lot about who I was – and made me realize what problems I still had to fix in my life.

Look I get it – people drill it into your brain that you should “shake hands and make connections” they tell you to be polite and introduce yourself – but they don’t tell you that if you are driven enough, and friendly enough you can change your life by meeting a couple of incredible people by just tendering their money while they grab their burrito…

img_1993I met Kirk while I was at El Diablo three or four years ago – he was handing out lifestrongfitness wristbands and working the side hustle he was building for himself when he wasn’t actively deployed.

Something about him handing that stuff out clicked for me – so I told him he should start working his business out of The Mill in Wilmington, where I was working my second job.

I gave him the numbers to call, the people to talk to – then he took his food and that was it.

A couple years passed, maybe one, maybe too – a working girl never knows – and I kept seeing Kirks clothes on Instagram, I loved the brand and was interested in getting some more marketing experience so I reached out.

See the benefit of wanting to work is that there are always people that need and want help [especially when you offer to work for free]. See the truth is, I knew I wasn’t going to work for Nike [which was good because I didn’t want to], instead I wanted to work with a small business, one that I could help grow and bounce ideas around with the CEO. Working with Kirk started with a message over Instagram. One step of me reaching out – telling a fellow Delaware, Burrito loving local, that I was looking for experience and I wanted to work for him. And then he said yes – and I guess the rest is history…

So why am I telling you this? Well, the first reason is that I want to prove a point that anyone – anyone who is driven and wants work experience can’t hurt themselves by putting themselves out there. By being willing to be told no or to be ignored, I actually was able to join a venture with someone who is an amazing guy to work with and who’s philosophies are just like mine.

And Second, well the other reason is that today Kirk is releasing some brand new life strong gear – and if I wasn’t at work you know I would be in mine right now. See what I have learned from working with Kirk is that connections are important, no matter where you make them.

By being nice to someone and making friends behind a checkout counter I was able to follow Kirk’s journey and then join it soon after. And this month alone we have been working on social media and hyping up today’s release – and I couldn’t be more proud to have been a part of it.

Taking chances and working hard leads to large gains and huge results – and with drive and determination, nothing can stop you from reaching your goals. And while I can’t say what is coming next to the site, I can tell you what’s going live today – and I can’t wait for you all to check it out.

 

 

 

The Life and Times

What it means to be ‘Lonely’

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It isn’t about Physically Being Alone

It is a desire for companionship. A need to have someone else around to quiet the silence and add a voice to the room. It’s about being so anxious that you are stuck – or so depressed that nothing makes sense. and at the end of the day, all anyone wants in this world is to be loved so why are we so quick to misunderstand those who cry or shy for help? Why are we so slow to understand what being lonely means in this country, and more importantly – in this age of social media.

What people don’t understand about loneliness is that it was never about physically being alone. It was a feeling of not being understood, a feeling of solitude in crowded rooms because you couldn’t explain what it was like being trapped in your own head. Feeling like – the only ones who appreciate you are the people who enjoy your twitter feed – being lonely isn’t about being quiet or physically alone, it’s about being heard when we say that a room is full BUT WE FEEL EMPTY.

See when you have anxiety…

You don’t need to be alone to feel lonely. When you have depression – you don’t have to cry to be sad. No matter where you wear your heart – being lonely, being sad, being scared, has absolutely nothing to do with being what someone else thinks defines any set of emotions. It has to do with you, and those like you all around the world.

According to the Anxiety and Depression Association in America (ADAA):

  • Anxiety disorders are the most common mental illness in the U.S., affecting 40 million adults in the United States age 18 and older, or 18.1% of the population every year.
  • Anxiety disorders are highly treatable, yet only 36.9% of those suffering receive treatment.
  • People with an anxiety disorder are three to five times more likely to go to the doctor and six times more likely to be hospitalized for psychiatric disorders than those who do not suffer from anxiety disorders.
  • Anxiety disorders develop from a complex set of risk factors, including genetics, brain chemistry, personality, and life events. (click for more)

And what I find most interesting is that despite these statistics – most people feel alone at one point or more in their lives – but few people actually reach out when they notice it. See truth is – it is hard to admit when we are scared, hard to open up to the crowd to yield to the traffic that comes with admitting we aren’t perfect – and being lonely may not be synonymous with being alone but it also doesn’t mean that the fix lies with throwing us to the wolves and the crowds. Being lonely and being alone are different – and so are the ways of treating those emotions.

At the end of the day, I am 1 of 40 million – and not just because my mom told me I am…

But maybe you are too and while we might not be perfect – we are who we are meant to be and sometimes – that means being perfectly and terribly lonely.

 

 

Kevin at a Desk

Why You Should Give Back

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“Happiness can be found in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light.” — Albus Dumbledore

In recent days since the chaotic scene in the Merrimack Valley that left numerous people without power, without homes and for one family without a son it seems like a nightmare that has bled into reality. For me and many who read this article, the Merrimack Valley; which includes Lawrence, Andover, North Andover and many more towns consider it their adoptive home, support has been pouring in to the area to help re energize the great area and her people. I know when i saw the tragedy unfold on TV and social media from miles away at Anna Maria College that i was devastated with the news. I have worked in those communities, with those outstanding people who are doing great work.  I can honestly say i wish i could have left at that moment to help volunteer somewhere to help out the community that took me in for five years of college. You may think that this has rocked them to their core and will change everything, but you are wrong.

The people of the Merrimack Valley are stubborn and resilient, they wont let this shake who they truly are.

So, Why should you give back to not only this community but all communities that suffer? Well simply its the right thing to do. It appeals to the human spirit of helping out their neighbor in times of need and doing what we can, when we can. The human spirit is always alive in those who are affected by the worst things, and those who reach out during the worse events we can imagine. Be the good people want to see especially in these times where people may not see the good very often even though its right next door to them. Help your neighbor out and they will help you out when time comes.

There are many ways that you can give back but i hope you don’t give back in two ways; Don’t Donate to the Red Cross and don’t do nothing for them.

Now the Red Cross is a very well respected organization and i applaud for what they do but there are numerous local organizations that have done fantastic work for the people  of the Merrimack Valley. They work day in and day out to help volunteer for their communities, not the ones they get assigned. These great people are just common folk, people who heard a calling to serve others in food pantry, shelters, thrift shops and numerous other ways they felt best to provided a genuine comfort of safety and security to the people. Merrimack College students who have done service learning with these organizations will agree with me on the time and effort they have seen given back to the less fortunate. So if you choose to donate, please consider researching these groups instead of the Red Cross and other Big Name Organizations.

Secondly, i really hope you don’t just sit by and wait until this event has passed to have done something. Being inactive in this time of need isn’t necessarily a sin, but its not what you should be doing. You don’t have to go up the Merrimack Valley and volunteer until you are tired and given everything away, its the simplicity of giving some time and money to helping the effort. The simple act of giving a donation to a local charity or even donating some time here and there makes the biggest difference even if you don’t see the effects first hand, they are there happening every day.

So i ask that you don’t just send thoughts and prayers or sit on the couch saying “Thank God it isn’t me out there” People can’t use prayers for clothing, or feed their kids with thoughts.

To those who have been adopted by the Merrimack Valley Community, its time to come home and give back.

 

Here are some of the great local organizations that are helping the Merrimack Valley:

  • Lazarus House
  • Merrimack Valley Food Bank
  • Emmaus Inc.
  • Bread and Roses
  • Merrimack Valley Catholic Charities
  • Merrimack Valley Habitat for Humanity
  • Donations can be made to the Senior Center
  • Lawrence Facebook Page has numerous other sites

Or donated to a GoFundMe Page set up for the people of the Merrimack Valley by Merrimack Student Audrey Regan

https://www.gofundme.com/lawrence-andover-n-andover-recover

 

 

Relationships

Slutty or Single – the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground

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In this day and age, I struggle to understand dating culture. If I am single, I have to be clear what I am looking for, but if I don’t take the bait quick enough I am a prude. Similarly, if I am very interested but decide that this is not a good route for me, I am playing games or a slut.

So for me, personally, it sometimes feels like I can’t win. And I know I can’t be the only one who feels this way.

The Break Down

The ones who are interested don’t always commit [they prefer the buffet rather than the steak dinner], the ones who commit – ought to be committed with how fast they plan our future, and well, the ones in between don’t respond to you texting first because that is against protocol? Then, of course, you have the weekend flings, the line drive sliders [popping right into the Direct Messages] Now obviously these standard experiences do not wholly represent the population. I for one know a dozen brilliant, beautiful and amazing humans, but for every ‘good guy’ and goofball there is another a** hat who cheats, guilt’s, or pushes the envelope.

and yes. sometimes that one DB ruins the dating pool for the good ones and the ones who end up being a shoulder to cry on but that shouldn’t be the case. I mean …When did the first question in dating become “is he, or she, slutty and single? And what chance do I have with someone like that?’ when did dating become a death trap? and what can we, as young people do to change that?

Enter the Nice Guy

So I am one of those people who has messed up when it comes to finding the good ones. From my experience, the nice guy is the wrong guy, but the bad boy breaks your heart. And while every girl wants the boy who treats her right, she too quickly falls for the one that talks right, walks right, etc. etc. etc.

So technically, I have “dated” a lot of bad boys, but I have also never been in a relationship… Confused? Me too – but here’s how I see it – when I say dating, I  don’t mean officially in a relationship, but if someone has asked me out a couple times (on dates) and I have gone on said dates, I can reasonably assume that we are dating… right? – at least that would make sense, but no, often the good guys are the ones who want to date and the bad boys are just the ones we are talking with. So why don’t we go for the good ones?

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The Good Guy is the One that Stays

He’s the one who sticks around at the end of the party to walk you home, he can seem like a dork because “people like him don’t exist” [except they do]. He’s the one you can count on and the one who will tell you how it is.

In essence, the good guy is the one you underestimate but after living with the stereotypical “good guy” for most of my life [ie. baby bro] the good guy is also the one that gets the most hurt.

SO WHY DONT THE GOOD GIRLS GO FOR THE GOOD GUYS ???

I honestly don’t know – maybe we’re stupid, maybe we’ve lost the trust, maybe we don’t see you, but in any event, I think when it comes to being “Slutty or Single – when it comes to the ‘Nice Guy’ and the Lack of a Middle Ground” the middle ground we’re actually looking for is the good guy! 

but what do you think mr. mrs. or etc interweb – where do you think the middle ground is – and what do ‘we – the people’ need to do to get our heads out of our a**** and find it?

 

Kevin at a Desk

Your Hometown Friend Group

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Its been about almost a decade since my best friends and our group solidified into what it is today.

We all met in middle school, although we never went to the same school (Some public, some private, some i think never went to school; looking at you Dan) but we all knew home base was at Loyola Circle where we would go when we could and get into some really weird shenanigans that set the tone for our young lives. I’m talking car rides that resulted in the weirdest dance that no one understands, friendly’s and Bertuccis trips, and when we wanted to we always got out to Ihop for late night breakfast. It was the best times we could ask for.

Even on the roughest days for someone in the group, we stood there waiting to help at a moments notice. As college approached, none of us went the same ways; I went north to Merrimack College and others went to Providence, Northwestern, Boston University, Harvard, Northeastern, Saint Michael’s College and so on and so on.

As the years grew on, we realized what we had was a good, stable foundation at home and never realized what we had until we told our college friends stories of our group from back home. We spent holidays together, including the infamous NYE parties, went out on the town now that we were all over 21. It felt like a renewal of what this group of misfits from the same area in Boston meant to us, especially me.

As you are probably reading this, you know your own group of kids you hang out with on a regular, or at least the ones you used to hang out with. This group of yours may have changed over the years, adopting new members and losing a few in the same process but its still that favorite group of friends that you look forward to when Thanksgiving rolls around and the new year is around the corner. These are the friends that you have gone hell and back with, put up with your bs, and still like you for the way you make them laugh, or can be the rock of the group (Especially when everyone wants ketchup, no on speaks up until you do 😉 ).  THIS is the group of friends that you want at your wedding getting plastered with you to a middle school jam that you all love.

These are the people that our high school teachers said to always keep in contact with because they are the people who care about you the most and who you care about the most.

The headliner photo was the first year we were (mostly) all out of college and “enjoying” the adult life. We decided to have a “Friends-giving” and it felt like high school all over again. The Friday nights that we spent doing nothing and the years we wondered about the future all came rushing back to us in that instant. It was great to see even after all these years we still had the idea that after time apart we could get together for dinner and drinks and make us feel like the awkward high school kids we were. I just hope for the rest of time we get to stay together  it is as fun if not better than what we have already experienced.

I look forward to days of Weddings, Kids being born, Celebrations, and any awkward reunions that we will have in the future.

This, is what a Hometown Friend Group should always get to have.

The Life and Times

A Letter to the Girl I Used to Be

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You felt so small, so insignificant, so powerless – and me, I was merciless. I gave you no credit for the time you took to heal. But what you didn’t see – your story was no different than the rest. You made sacrifices – to yourself, to your friendships, to others – you gave up what it meant to be you to be liked, to feel powerful, to feel sexy – not knowing that you had it all inside of you all along.

Little girl you were no different than the rest. You followed trends – submerged yourself in passion projects, you kissed boys you shouldn’t and blamed yourself for things that weren’t your fault. So to the girl who was sad – who cried in front of the mirror, I will not apologize for refusing to pity you – but I will apologize for letting you hate you.

See the girl I used to be – is really just the girl I USED to become what I am today – and she was three things that inspired me

  1. she was scared
  2. she was strong
  3. she was broken

and I couldn’t be more grateful because if I could say one thing to the girl I used to be I would say it like this and it would come in three parts

  1. thank you for being scared – for worrying the world would hate your tears. for wondering if they would like you when you no longer had more muscle than the girl next to you. for being afraid to truly look at yourself in the mirror. Thank you for being so petrified that you wouldn’t be enough – because when the fear finally passed – when you finally learned to walk away from the dark rather than being scared of it – baby girl that is when you finally began to move on.
  2. thank you for being strong – for having a brave face. For cracking jokes at the wrong time and for looking powerful people in the face when they treated you as lesser. Thank you for having the strength to say the wrong things – to be the odd man out, and to support people when no one else could. Thank you baby girl for being strong.
  3. Thank you for being broken – for looking at your cracks like curves, for hating your rough edges and rounding their corners to make them beautiful again. Thank you for refusing to be whole – for splitting yourself across oceans and leaving parts of your heart in countries that helped you to heal. Thank you for being broken baby girl – because this woman wouldn’t have found her way back to being whole again without you.

There is a point in our lives where we realize that the person we were then – allowed us to rise to where we are today. And while I have written many a letter to the person I will be – to the person I have not become yet – what I needed to do was thank the girl I was. and maybe that is true for all of use because maybe like me, your story wasn’t as special as you thought it was, maybe you weren’t as broken as you thought you were, but it was real – all of it was real and no one can take that from you. So maybe instead of blaming you (the you that you were then) maybe you should thank yourself for what that person sacrificed to allow you to become the person you are today.

I am not always proud of the person I was – but the person I am today, well I’ll be damned if she isn’t working toward being the best version of herself.

Be proud of who you are – be proud of yourself baby girl – because one day [maybe today] you will look back and realize how truly amazing you are.

Kevin at a Desk

What it Means to Be in a Cohort

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So, You’re in a cohort?

Honestly i never knew what this word meant until i enrolled in my Masters of Education degree at the beginning of 2017. Truth be told i didn’t know what to expect from this idea of a mass group of people undergoing the same requirements to obtain the same degree, it seemed very interesting to me. At the same time in my life i felt like i wasn’t doing much with my life. Yes i understand the fact i was getting my Masters but because it was at the same school i attended Undergrad it felt like nothing to me so i made a stupid rule for myself; I m not here to make friends i am here to get my degree. My goal was not to interact with the new folks and really just put my nose to the grind until graduation in May.

That plan kinda failed right out of the gate seeing as i had some friends already in the program and didn’t want to break those connections off, thus open the flood gates to new people i met along the way. The people i met along the way were so different and unique in their experiences and personal lives that it was hard not to connect, especially when it was in an awkward diversity class (Shout out to that class you know who you are).

As the weeks and months went along i realized that this cohort wasn’t what i was gonna imagine it to be. Many of the same folks had the same goal i had about not making new friends and seeing that goal become unreachable after late night shenanigans and early morning coffee runs. The definitive moment when i realized i had to be with people was one class, where out of the entire cohort only three of us had to be in and realizing that for the rest of the year this was a good core i was gonna stick with because of one random text in our message group saying a famous line from the play Les Miserables ” Do you hear the People Sing?”  (Shout out to Pat and Amanda)DYHTPS

This Cohort was one of the best things i had going for me in grad school, especially since we had all these things changing in our world it was good to have people knowing what those changes felt like. I knew when i was having a bad day, i could walk down to the office next to mine and shoot the breeze for a couple of moments of peace even if i was bothering them during their work, but i hope they appreciated me as i appreciated them.

To those in a cohort now looking to get their masters, enjoy the company of those who surround you for a couple of reasons;

One you’ll be working with them in your field so best to get to know them young

Two They are good people that really want to change the world the best way they know how, might as well help them out with that

Three You legit will never know who you will meet, i met some great friends that i will rely on for a lot things in post grad so you might as well meet them.

In the end, this is a Thank You to the people in the Merrimack College Higher Education Class of 2018 Cohort! Ya’ll Killing the game!

 

 

Kevin at a Desk

A Letter to My Mentors

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A letter is not enough to say two simple words of gratitude to you and the work you have done.

I can’t thank you enough for the path that you kept me on, even though I may not have seen it. You were not wavered by my big stupid mouth and my even stupider actions like when i refused to study or eat breakfast and maybe even went off the deep end. You stayed your course and got my ship through the rough waters. I can remember the times where I was down and out, on my last strike and you loaned your time and energy to show me how to hit the ball out of the park even though I was only looking for a single. I can tell you all the dark times that I was alone in my own room and everyone walked by me, you took the time to watch me and made sure I was safe even if you didn’t know what you were doing for me. Having that open door in the middle of the day or shooting the breeze with us after class gave me a sense of security that added on to the development I needed.

For my mentors reading this, I hope you never felt burdened by me in any way. I know what it means to be overwhelmed with your own struggles and work while also dealing with me. It can grow and weigh on you dragging you down. I know those times where you could have shut the door, gone home and forgotten about the day but chose to answer the late-night text messages or emails I sent instead.

For the mentors that do not walk this earth anymore, your lessons and leadership never ceases to inspire me. You have set the standard for what i need to be to others both in the good times and the bad. I know that i must develop my standards on my own but always know that you are the benchmark, you are the bar i will never be able to reach, and that is OK, I don’t think i deserve to be there quite yet but ill be there soon enough.

I know the old standby line of how it’s your job to help me is relevant in this argument but the job never defines where you stop the responsibility and become your own self again.

If I was that much of a burden then I understand but know this, I am in your debt.

So I guess the work you have put in has started to show its value finally. The present day me is someone that can handle his own shit while once again taking on the issues and dilemmas of eighteen-year-old freshmen who may be living away from home for the first time. It is because of your wisdom, love, and empathy that I stand before you a changed man because of you and for that I cannot simply use two words to express my gratitude. Even this letter does not have enough words, not enough emotion to say….

 

Thank You

Kevin at a Desk

Moving Out (College Graduate’s Song)

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Yes, the title is a reference to one of my favorite artist Billy Joel.

There is something to say for moving out of the house for the first time, and no I don’t mean going to your dorm room. I mean moving basically everything you own; your entire worldly possessions into a place where mom isn’t cooking dinner, dad isn’t watching College Football in the recliner, or in my case not going home to a queen size bed every night Moving out means you are fending for your own life and trying to make it in this world in a very adult yet confusing way, and boy does it suck. I remember the first time I lived on my own. I loved it for the first few months but living in a big apartment can make you feel small. Being there by myself was one of the worst times in my post grad life as It was a very much a smack in the face reminder that I was no longer living with all my friends on a condensed campus. It took some time to center myself into the grind of earning my Masters Degree in Education but once I felt balanced, living on my own felt like I was riding a bike

Moving out is one of the realizations you are not going to be given a free ride anymore and its time to grow up or get left behind. I consider myself adaptable and actually moving out and living on my own was a challenge I could take on. Our generation wants to take on the challenge too, however it is a terrible move statistically to do so. Stats don’t lie in saying millennial’s are one if not only generations to move back home after college and it is in due part to the housing market, loans and basically anything in between that keeps us financially independent. It’s OK to move back home after college as long as you are doing your share to keep the house in check. I was the runner for my mom’s daycare service for the summer, if she needed something done I was the guy. Eventually we will have to finally leave home and get on where we left off or in other cases continue where we are.

When the day comes that I am truly away from the sweet city of Boston the only thing that worries me isn’t where I am moving to, it’s what I am leaving behind.

Being an only child, I only have mom and dad in the family and as they get older I start to worry about how they will do without me and the checkup calls that I had to make in college transition from my safety  and me to them and their safety. I know they are capable of taking care of themselves but in the back of my head ill always worry about how they are as I move out in this post grad world. It not just me that worries about how their parents are doing but for me when i’m the only one it adds an extra value to the time i spend at home or the time i spend calling them.

So in short: Move up, Move Out but don’t forget who’s waiting at home.

 

“ Mama if that’s moving up then I’m moving out”

Kevin at a Desk

Taking Up the Mantle of a Leader

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Its never easy being the one they call on to lead, even when it’s a trip to the local Wendy’s and you’re the DD.

I bet as you are reading this, you can remember the good leaders and the not so good leaders during your lifetime. As the leader, you are the one who inspires action in the darkest of times and comfort when it all goes downhill. You’re the last one to take any credit for the successes and the first one they blame when everything seems to have gone awry. Leadership is difficult, especially when it means taking care of others or even your peers. When I first was given this opportunity at my Alma mater Merrimack College as a Resident Assistant for the Residence life office, it was daunting to say the least, especially after years of other leaders saying I may not be that good. “You’ll never be more than a follower” Yeah maybe that wasn’t cut for me, maybe I wasn’t meant to be a leader and keep people safe.

Or maybe I was the absolute best fit for it.

Never letting the doubters in your head, although tough, has never been an option for me. “I appreciate the feedback guys but there’s a job for me to do and traffic you guys should be playing in.” I found my path although dimly lit and unpaved, I developed myself into a leader who is kind but stern and knows he can get the best out of everyone he works with. The first year and many years on I held myself to a high standard of leadership and always kept adapting and molding my style into what i have today. With the work I have put into myself, I have created opportunities where I can shine, especially as a newly hired Resident Director.

Leadership is something that everyone has it just may not be cultivated until the right moment. As a full-blown adult now I realize now that although leadership is within each of us it takes a certain time or moment for the leadership to shine through; if it is tragedy, triumph or just that right moment when the times call for a person like you. We will all have our time to take up the mantle of being a leader, my time has come as I currently lead a staff of ten fantastically driven Resident Assistants that I hope one day will take up a bigger mantle in their lives and be the good people I know they can be. I just hope they can someday say “I became a leader because of him.”

Higher Thoughts

A Letter To My Angels

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It isn’t Invincibility – But it isn’t Faith Either

over the past few years I came to the conclusion that – while mortality is great and all – I have too many angels around and about to let anything of real consequence happen to me. Now to clarify this doesn’t mean I have taken to jumping out of planes or running into fires to save kittens but it has given me a renewed sense of surviving through the ordinary and the extraordinary.

By now many of you have heard of the fires, explosions and gas leaks in Lawrence Massachusetts – click here for the story – but what you may not know is that I live just north of the river, in an area that lay on the edge of Lawrence and Andover.

Today my heart goes out to the family who lost their son in one of the blasts, the families of the ten people whom were injured, and to those who lost their homes. But today my heart also looks up to the forces that be for protecting me, my friends, and all those who were effected but are safe in the wake of this terrible event.

I don’t believe in Immortality

Not beyond the way writing makes us live on past our own expiration date. But I believe that something stands to protect me because yesterday, in the wake of such frightening events, I was not for a moment – afraid.

The way I see it, I have too many angels to let me join them – and I have too much left to do in my life to allow it to be cut short. I don’t believe in immortality, I don’t believe I am invincible, but I am young and naïve enough to know that if my time was now – well then that would be beyond my control.

I used to NEED Control

But today I woke up with this feeling where [and yeah maybe it was faith] took over and suddenly I wasn’t as stressed as I usually was. In many ways I still would not call myself a godly woman – but if I believe in anything, I believe in my angels – and I could not be more grateful that they are here to watch over me and those I love.

Lastly

I want to ask that we hold all those suffering both here in Massachusetts and those in the wake of hurricane Florence in the Light [ and for those who aren’t familiar with Quakerism – this means we hold them in our thoughts and send love and positivity their way] and I would also like to thank the first responders who were not able to spend last night with their own families because they were selflessly giving to others. Thank you.

We’re all just Awkward n' Adulting.