All posts by JustRachel

This is me trying to make it as a writer... you all haven't seen anything yet
22 for 2022 - College Tips

Your First Home Comming (an open letter to the class of 2022)

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Dear Class of 2022,

This place may or may not be your home yet, but for the past few months, you have evolved far more than the mirror can show. You have grown into a person, a warrior, and a survivor. You have earned grades, got scrapes, bruises and burns. You’ve been to heaven and hell with people you feel like you have known your entire lives, but believe me when I tell you-you have not experienced anything yet.

For those of us coming home – from our new home away from home, you know what it’s like. You know how it feels to leave a place that is so much a part of your identity and know what is like to not give two flying **** about an incoming noreaster because nothing can stop you from coming home to the place you belong.

To the class of 2022 this is your first homecoming, but don’t think that it is only about the drinks, the food, the football, and seeing your mom drunker than your weird uncle. This weekend is about the ones who, like you, learned how much a place can impact the course of your life. And while you don’t know what I truly mean yet… I cannot wait until the day that you do.

XOXO Warrior Nation, See you tomorrow.

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

As an Adult I Understand Nothing

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At 22 I knew that clueless was an expectation I had for myself, but I didn’t know it would cost so darn much… and so today, in the hopes of connecting with other people that are clueless I give you… a List!

5 Things I should have been taught before 22 – but had to learn along the way

1. Insurance… it doesn’t cover the whole bill

Last night I opened some mail that I have been neglecting on my bedside table for… well, for too long. The pile consisted of random letters from my car and health insurance, my doctor, and my high school asking for money. Now here is where it gets sad. As someone who works at a company that looks at health care costs every single day, I had no idea that my copay at the doctor’s office would not cover my bill.

So for anyone else out there who didn’t know that – and growing up I doubt many of us do because no class taught me this IMPORTANT LIFE FACT so how was I to know three months later that I owe hundreds of dollars?

2. Balancing a Healthy Lifestyle

Growing up I was under the impression that 21-25 year-olds had tons of energy,

…we don’t. It was a lie. And I still haven’t figured this one out

3. Rent is Negotiable

The first week in my apartment they wanted to jack up the price. When the washer broke they were going to continue to charge us the same. When my package was broken into there was no way to monitor who did it. And when the cleanliness of the building (lack thereof) threatened bugs – nothing would have been done if we hadn’t spoken up for ourselves. And so speak up we did!

4. Know Your Worth

I had no idea what to ask for when it came to money or any form of compensation when I started working – but by doing research and talking to colleagues I figured out what worked for me and my lifestyle.

Like rent, pay is negotiable – but they can’t teach you what you are worth in a classroom so start figuring that out now.

5. How to Cook… well

don’t get me wrong I can cook – and I don’t just mean boil water – but it would have been nice to take a home economics class or something

6.7.8..

the list goes on – the fact of the matter is that these days we aren’t learning to be independent, we aren’t learning to grow up or be adults, and all the money we put in college, yeah it gets us a job but it doesn’t teach us how to be well adjusted stable minded individuals.

Truth is that I have been in the “real world” for a while now, but that doesn’t mean anything if I can’t find the tools to truly understand it.

Today being an adult isn’t fun, even if it is worth it – but it is a learning experience. I guess I just knew what books would better prepare me for the real-life situations the Pythagorean theorem didn’t teach…

Just Post Grad Things

A Great Day To Have A Day

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Lately, I have had some days. Vague, I know, but the truth is, I can’t label them good days or bad days, they’re just… days.

See I am a firm believer in the saying “it’s a great day to have a day.” and I can’t claim credit because I got it from a teammate, but it stuck and now is as good a time as ever to ‘have a day’.

I guess the best way to spell out how I have been, is to look at a Twenty-One Pilots album. I’ve gone through phases this week of feeling “stressed out”, feeling like a “blurry face” in a crowd – the only difference being that I most definitely do care what people think. I’ve been detached, slightly withdrawn, and it isn’t a new feeling but it persists on – taunting me and distracting me at work ever so often.

Maybe this feeling of just having a day is part of growing up. Maybe it is a byproduct of seasonal affective or as I like to label it, “seasonal defective disorder,” maybe being stuck or lost, or maybe having a day is just a part of being an adult.

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But sometimes it worries me and sometimes I doubt myself because of the labels I have been given…And I guess the best way to explain that train of thought is to share something my friend kinda said this week… which was different but could arguably go along with “I hate the term mental illness” and I do, I hate the term mentally ill because when I think of illnesses – I imagine cures – but for most of the population, whether we admit to it or not, the “illness” going on, the “illness” attacking our brains isn’t something we can cure – it’s only something we can manage and like a good or bad day we just all manage to get through, but what if we don’t just want to get by?

And personally, I don’t just want to get by I want to have a DAY, not a bad day, or an insecure day, not even a lower case day, I wanna have A DAY. and maybe something will stop me maybe it won’t but I guess I am just sick of floating by this week. I am sick of being a blurry faced, stressed out, adulting wannabe and I am certainly sick of not feeling like me,

so today. today I am going to have a DAY, a full uppercase DAY because it is a great day to have a day, and I’m done trying to turn back time to something easier because what I have now… it isn’t perfect, but its a day. AND IT IS ALWAYS A GREAT DAY TO HAVE A DAY.

 

 

 

Just Post Grad Things, The Global Citizen

The Future and The Global Citizen

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It is not just my opinion but my firm belief that everyone should have a chance to travel. Sadly this is not the case.

I think there is a certainty to experiencing the world – not just beyond your backyard but in it as well. When it comes to seeing this world, explorations begin at home. They begin with you going out the back, front or side door and smelling something you have never smelled (within reason – obviously don’t smell your neighbors or what have you) or stepped on a patch of grass you haven’t stepped on before.

While I will admit that most of my greatest adventures happened abroad, some of the most memorable happened here, at home, or where ever home was at the time.

This includes, cross country runs with friends – exploring waterfalls or streams – and getting my moms car stuck in a road where I was definitely not supposed to be because I was looking for a space that made me feel connected to anything other than my head.

See for me being globally aware starts at home, it starts by serving others, it starts by getting out of your own way and learning something new because America may think it is the best country in the world but our record incarceration, murder rates and low levels of intelligence compared to competitors in Europe prove that we need to make a change.

Change starts when you travel, it starts when you listen to news on your morning commute, and saying yes to a colleagues presentation. Change starts when our world gets bigger, and when we become global citizens.

At the end of the day, you don’t need to see the world to be a global citizen, but you do have to experience it. You have to speak to people, read stories, share histories and be dedicated to living in and beyond your backyard.

It is not just my opinion but my firm belief that everyone should have a chance to travel. Sadly this is not the case – but my hope is that one day we will all find ourselves beyond the place were in, and if we have learned something new along the way, or met someone new in the process, well then I think we can all make this world a little bigger and a little brighter.

 

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

Dear Social Media Promoters

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Over the years I have been friend requested by people I don’t know, people who compliment me, try to build my trust just to get me to buy into their product lines. And honestly, I am so over it.

The call usually goes “Hey Girl” as if they know me and then they proceed to tell me how I could lose 25 pounds or lengthen my hair or “be more beautiful.” Personally, this irritates me. Now don’t get me wrong I have also had friends reach out and if I had time and the parameters allowed I would certainly help them out, but if I don’t know you – I don’t want you to try to sell me something I have given no indication of needing or being interested in.

And then it gets worse!

Multiple times now – and I firmly believe this is meant to make the salesperson feel better is that they will end the chat by saying “lol okay” or “LMFAO” and this gets me kinda angry – correction it makes me highly angry because now I feel, not like they are shaking it off, but that I am being made a joke of.

Look I think I am right when I say no one wants to be laughed at – but more so this is not a professional practice. If you work in sales you are conditioned to get the sale, but this will not be done by making negative impressions.

In the last few months, I have been approached by five sales people on social media. One was a friend, whom if I wasn’t so swamped at work I would have signed on to her meeting, at least three were on Instagram and the last was on Linked In [this interaction was by far the worst] but what was horrible in four of five of these cases is that while I tried to not pay attention to their unwanted messages a few continued to reach out without my answering, and one whom I just finished talking to briefly ended the chat with “lol”.

Look long story short – how you present yourself on social media matters, how you slide into someones DM’s matters – and most of the time it should not be done – but in all cases it should be respectful and personally I think that is something that is severely lacking in the Instagram beauty industry as well as the beauty industry as a whole.

At the end of the day I may not be perfect – but what I put into my body is my choice and if I wanted to try a 90 day trial of anything – I’d reach out, but for now, I am perfectly and happily content with just being me.

Just Post Grad Things

Done With Politics

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A part of me has never been good at articulating what is actually on my mind. I tend to turn to blame, anger, fear, and all the other nasty emotions we, humans, tend to get wrapped in – so I guess what I want to clear up before I start is that this post isn’t really about politics – its about me being done with how much hate I have seen lately and that I just want to do what I can to change the conversation. So while this is going to start a little rough – just keep with it, I promise to make it worth it…

-R

Done with Hate

When I say I am done with Politics what I really mean is that I am done with the hate it seems to bring from both sides – and when I say I am done with politics it isn’t really about politics at all its more of a hot trigger word to get people to focus in because no one really gets drawn in by “Hey why don’t you just make someone’s day today!”

So when I say I am done with whatever I guess it means that a part of me is done with democracy. Of choices and sides and slander because lately, I feel as though I have lost faith in the system – in myself, in my faith, in the idea that people can be caring and honest – and I know this may sound like it is angled at one person but I am done with blaming anyone other than myself.

See often there is no outlet for people like me who are so frustrated about nothing and everything that, well it all gets pent up. It all gets focused and gross and rots almost like a dream deferred.

I guess, sometimes, a part of me worries that I am still stuck in my anxiety-fueled teen years. That my mouth hurts from the braces rather than the words trapped in the back of my throat. Then I see all those videos of people standing up and telling me to vote – that my voice matters, but I still wonder if it does.

You can’t call this type of feeling insecurity, but I suppose you could call it grief – because the stress that ensues from trying  [and failing] to be PC isn’t one I want to live with so I end up on here ranting to strangers about how unfair it is for my middle-class white ass. BUT IT ISNT – AND HOW DARE I.

Have you ever felt sorry for yourself? and then suddenly a wave passes over you telling you to stop being ungrateful?  I have… but then I realize that there is a difference between accepting your shortcomings and admitting that you can do something to extend what you have to others. and this post is a great example because by saying I am “done with politics” I could influence others to be, but that isn’t what I want to do…

No. What I want is to tell everyone that I am done with the system as it is – I am fed up with the way people are treated, I am sick of hate being a primary consumer product and I want to change that. And this isn’t meant to post blame – it isn’t meant to point a finger but rather gives each of us an opportunity to change the world around us because power is nothing without words – without a message – and without a vessel to spread it.

So let’s be the vessel let’s be powerful by spreading something more. Let’s be the change we wish to see in the world – and let us start today.

 

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Just Post Grad Things

Mouth Wired Shut

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Mouths Wired Shut

Perfection is bred under a knife

and a leader who turns privilege into the new definition of victimization.

you see

growing up I was taught to believe a victim was someone whose power was unfairly taken from them.

that a victim was someone who knew what they had lost –

but now it has become the definition of someone who knows what they can lose only to be rewarded for ill-fitting deeds,

and tantrums

I mean drop your arguments on whether or not this man has committed a crime

but look at how he reacted

look at how he was made to be a hero after suffering these false claims

and look now at the names he was not called for being over emotional…

anyway.

this got me thinking…

if Kavanaugh is a victim, is Cosby?

if Kavanaugh was ‘wrongly and evily accused, was Brock Turner?

and if women who open their mouths after years of suffering are mocked by the president himself as a result – if people cheer for a man that mocks women for trying to reclaim what their attacker took from them – if women who do this are evil, then what are rapists, pedophiles, murderers?

if the villains are heroes and the heroes who make statements villains than what chance do I have to grow up and be something more?

because if all men now have to fear being “falsely accused”

if all men – created equal under our constitutions are victims of woman’s words…

then who will hear US while they cry wolf and who will protect US from a constitution where only MEN were created superior?

 

an explanation

 

Not all men are created evil – in fact I don’t believe anyone is “evil”. I think the word evil stems from archaic claims of magic and bewitching and things that do not pertain to people but rather their actions.

This week women and girls everywhere were mocked – they were taught that their voice means nothing and that middle age white men (who are in no way victims) can take power from those who actually suffer (male, female, black, white, rick poor, gender normative, or gender neutral without voices) This week we learned the lengths one man will go to weaponize victimization in order to make real victims and those who actually suffer feel inferior, and I know people will buy into it, but not me…

 

The Life and Times

To the Men Who Spoke at My Fathers Funeral

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I don’t remember much about my father dying, I guess that’s because I wasn’t there – but I don’t remember much of him being sick either – some would call that a blessing. I just know I wish I was there for him when he needed me most…

Don’t get me wrong I know the bad stuff, the boxes of food to go through his feeding tube, the sounds of him keeled over the toilet in the morning, how worried my mother was – and the looks on family friends faces.

Yeah, I guess when it comes down to it I don’t remember much about my father dying, and come to think of it I don’t remember much about his funeral either – but what I do remember is one voice – the voice of my coach.

So a little background about me, I was raised Quaker and the definitions on that will most definitely appear on another post but what that means for this one is that funerals for us are not Like funerals for Christians, Catholics, Methodists or Jewish people. No, because in our service we focus on the person’s story.

Look at 14 you never think you’ll be sitting in a dress at your fathers funeral, you never imagine that your mom won’t let you wear black or that your friends will show up to support you – but as a Quaker, you could never be more grateful of all the amazing stories that are shared when a loved one dies.

The stories I heard then. At my fathers funeral were and are some that still resonate with me today. I couldn’t be more thankful for those times because no matter how painful. Those are the stories that keep the lost and allow them to remain here with us.

Just Post Grad Things

The Fortnite Obsession (and why it needs to stop)

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Trigger Warning: If you consider yourself someone who has an intimate relationship with Fortnite – and or are simply and radically addicted, read no further.

Yet another thing Ruined

A decade ago the term fortnight was one that regarded a fourteen (fort) night period of time or two weeks, but last year Epic Games changed that with the creation of their video game “Fortnite”.

Yet another thing #ruined by the #millenialage. (Click here for We ruin everything, apparently)

A Never Ending Fad…

Widely played and highly addictive Fortnite became a huge success almost overnight [rather than in a fortnight] – but personally, I can’t understand why…

As I stand I would currently deem myself a part-time gamer – only able to dedicate 5 – 8 hours a week to my console, but rarely if at all will I dedicate that time to Fortnite because I personally see no value in the game.

Unlike Call of Duty which has a historical timeline, Mario which is timeless (and I wish Nintendo could share the wealth with other consoles), and sports games like FIFA or NHL which have been around 5ever – Fortnite has nothing more than bright colors wacky dances,  and brain melting concepts.

Quick facts :

  • the graphics are weak – especially with a 4k system because  there are so many games where the graphics and experience are so much better
  • the building mode is overrated – and Call of Duty did it better
  • the dances are lame – and yet people live for them???
  • and don’t get me started on how my friend (while playing with his girlfriend) pushed her around in a shopping cart and then threw her off a cliff… talk about #relationshipgoals?

So when will Fortnite go nighty night… I don’t know but I sure hope it doesn’t last much longer because I am pretty sick and tired of hearing about it. pexels-photo

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

“She was Asking For It”

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Don’t call me gluten-free – call me a glutton for punishment

Sometimes I catch myself wondering if I was asking for it. If me passing out tired and drunk in his bed on Halloween, or me blackout drunk and naked in my own was something I wanted.

At least that is what I tell myself. After all, I did go back for more…, right?

Confession: I am guilty of being skeptical when some others come forward – I know the signs of rape, I know how women or men feel after it happens. And while we cannot make blanket statements or stereotypes I know every case is not the same – that does not make me any less skeptical of situations that don’t add up.

People tend to think sexual assault is a cut and dry case – it isn’t. And I only learned that because, while sitting in a social justice class I learned the definition of sexual assault. It reads :

sexual assault (noun )

: illegal sexual contact that usually involves force upon a person without consent or is inflicted upon a person who is incapable of giving consent (as because of age or physical or mental incapacity) or who places the assailant (such as a doctor) in a position of trust or authority

but sexual assault could also pertain to the Wikipedia definition :

Sexual assault is an act in which a person sexually touches another person without that person’s consent, or coerces or physically forces a person to engage in a sexual act against their will.[1] It is a form of sexual violence which includes rape (forced vaginal, anal or oral penetration or drug facilitated sexual assault), groping, child sexual abuse or the torture of the person in a sexual manner

In my life, there have been two or more occasions where I have fit one or both of the definitions above. Shocking, however, was the thought that I had no idea that what I had been through and how I felt when I woke up was normal of someone who had been taken advantage of.

I was 19 when it happened – and waking up the next morning shuffling out of that room walking back to my own at six o’clock in the morning wearing all black from the night before. I remember I had everything with me but my mask – and yet there was nothing I wanted to do more than hiding my face as the maintenance workers drove by – because it wasn’t what it looked like – it wasn’t a true walk of shame… but it also felt a lot worse than it was.

Flash forward two years to the first time I was truly intimate after that occasion and I was blackout drunk and found myself saying yes. But that doesn’t mean I wanted it – because even today I don’t remember getting home, getting in bed, in fact, I don’t remember anything other than that one. little. word. yes. and then the sounds that followed.

And to be honest I still grapple with that choice because no matter how high I felt when I woke up – there are days now where I feel empty and wonder if making the choice I did while I was drunk – was one I would have stuck with sober.

So why this – why now?

Well, I could ask the same. Why Kavanaugh, why Cosby, why do we keep making exceptions – why do we have to ask why Dr. Ford didn’t come forward sooner? Why are we suddenly sensitive? and why does it take so many women crying over the same name to make something happen?

Why is Alcohol or Misplaced Masculinity an Excuse and “She Was Asking For It” A Just Answer???  And Why is His Word Worth More Than Hers in a Court of Law When the Constitution Specifically Reads “WE THE PEOPLE OF THE UNITED…”????

Look… at the end of the day I can’t blame anyone but myself for putting myself in the situations I was in. I refuse to be a victim and so I hold myself accountable… but I wasn’t asking for it. I was just trying to give someone else what they wanted because I thought it would make them like me…

I did what I did for my own personal reasons and no matter how bad it looks on paper – no matter how it fits the definition or how I define it – or what I see and hear in my nightmares… all that matters is that I am ok.

But some women aren’t – some live with what happened to them for the rest of their lives – afraid to speak up because even if the constitution says WE THE PEOPLE it doesn’t account for their life liberty and pursuit of happiness.

These days we need to stop claiming that she was asking for it… we need to stop letting “boys be boys” and we need to start holding ourselves accountable for our sins and digressions (right Judge Kavanaugh?) because if we don’t – the only thing SHE WILL BE ASKING FOR – IS JUSTICE 

 

Just Post Grad Things

An Open Letter to the Service Industry

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To the guy who denied my friend a seat in his restaurant because of an allergy…. really? To the woman at the coffee shop drive-through who yelled at my friend when she ordered a hand full of things for a full car of middle schoolers, are you serious?

This summer I have heard more horror stories than ever before. and as an advocate for my friends, I can’t stay silent even if I also understand the other side.

For years I worked on a line at a local burrito shop. We had good customers and bad ones. We had people who cared and people who cursed. We had people who cheated for a quick discount and we had people who paid more than expected to give us a nice tip at the end of the night. That being said, anyone working in the service industry I salute you and thank you for the incredible work you do [mostly without thanks].

But on the other hand, that does not give you the right to take it out on your customer.

SO … while I understand the risks and liabilities of allergies in a food-based business, so do the owners, and as such it is their job to make the proper steps toward the safety of their patrons.

It is never right to attack or verbally assault a customer that has not done harm – it is not a business right to disclose a customers information, to kick them out or use profanities in the presence of children.

So as an open letter to the service industry – it’s not where you eat – its who you meet and sometimes that can make all the difference for your day.

 

 

Just Post Grad Things

Five Categories Netflix Should Add ASAP

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  • Lonely, Horny and Desperate – aka when Rom Com’s aren’t enough but ‘unrated’ movies are too much and too crude for you to handle. this genre could feature
    • underrated as well as up and coming heartthrobs
    • scandals
    • romance
    • and anything that would spice up a lonely night in with a bottle of wine
  • DCOMS – because everyone needs to know what Disney Channel Original Movies are… Hello Zenon? Johnny Kapahala? Raven Simone? Where Y’all At?
    • *extra points to any reader or follower who can name their top five * in the comments below
  • Random for you – a list specifically made for the most indecisive people in the world – spin a wheel and decide what you are watching tonight! (because the number of times I have asked Google or Siri what I want to watch is out of control.)
    • roll a die pick a card – I don’t care just put something on!=
  • Movies Hulu and Amazon don’t have – not just Netflix originals
    • the number of times I have gone through all three sites to find the same damn choices is ridiculous. I am glad you all use the same algorithm but give me some variety!
  • Movies that will convince Baby Boomers you are more Cultured than the Average Millenial
    • classics like ‘Scarface’ ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ ‘Grease’ the original ‘Footloose’ with Kevin Bacon? or even silent movies or Hitchcock (I am talking good cinema people!!)

 

BONUS IDEA!

  • Netflix and Chill 
    • movies and shows to mindlessly watch or not watch… and enjoy for hours on end

 

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Do you have any categories you would like to see? Comment and share your favorites below!