Tag Archives: relatable

To All the Boys…

… I’ve been distracted by while I was just trying to run some errands …

Adulting and single, but not quite ready to mingle?  Me too girl, me too.

It’s a weird limbo – I’m at an age where I could totally be looking for a serious relationship, but also know I need to focus on other things.
(You know, like my career, my incessant travel bug, crumbling student debt, that sort of stuff.)

I’m not actively looking, but open to it if someone worthy comes around.  But then again, is there anyone truly so wonderful that I would redirect my future plans?
(Actually, yes.  That person is and will always be Chris Pine.  For sure.)

Image result for chris pine

You know how it kind of seems like the only attractive, Grade A guys on Earth are in the movies now, and thus are unattainable to mere mortals like us?  I realize I’m not looking for a husband right now or anything, but let’s be honest – I can’t be the only one lacking contact with age appropriate ‘men’ with at least the maturity level of, well, myself.

I can’t find them in real life, because scripted and rehearsed romance is totally more what I’m looking for right now.  The latest girl crush, fyi, is Noah Centineo; and he actually starred in the film that inspired this post.

Image result for to all the boys ive loved before

Three cheers for cheesy teenage rom-coms!
(I don’t agree, though, for the record.  My current crush is activist Cameron Kasky.  But that’s beside the point.)

So, my girlfriends and I popped open a bottle of wine and shared stories about our own personal celebrities: the men we pass by on our every day adventures.  Here are our stories about the ones we are thankful for because they keep life a little interesting.

Like back in August, when I went to get a new tattoo with a friend of mine.  My artist came out to ask me a few questions, and I did that thing you see in movies where the girl totally tunes the guy out because she is so focused on how attractive they are?  And suddenly I just hear “hello Earth to Lex??” and then they have to repeat the question?  Except it wasn’t cute like in the movies – it was embarrassing because it was real life and it was me.  So when he went back to finish the sketch my aforementioned friend turned to me, looked me straight in the eye, pretended to wipe something off my chin and says “hey dude, stop drooling would ya?”

Embarrassing? Yes.
Comical? Affirmative.
But am I complaining? Absolutely not.
I got a new tattoo while making small talk and flirting with a very cute man, so all in all, great day.1533326060535

Or while I’m tucked away in my corner at Starbucks doing homework, and there’s that fluctuation of cute guys walking in and my mind goes right to the movies as if he’ll just come on over and sit down and strike up a clever conversation.  As if we’ll laugh and fall in love as time goes by and suddenly the store is closing before we even realize we’ve been there for so long.  When in reality I may get a smile, mini hand wave, and I’m left with endless possibilities of fake conversations running through my mind.

(But of course there are also the older men who direct their gaze over, even if they’re sitting there with who I can only assume to be their wife.  I divert my eyes and hope I don’t need to throw any punches, but hey it keeps me alert.)

Did I mention the cute police officer busy directing traffic?   I realize we all have places to be but do you mind if I just stop right here and cause a jam?
Instead I’ll wave and that’ll be that.  Maybe I’ll see you later at Starbucks, hopefully, if the universe thinks I should have a good day.

person holding cup of coffees on table
Photo by Victor Freitas on Pexels.com

Or that one night I was out at a bar with my friends celebrating birthdays, and we’re all sitting down with a few new guy friends, right?  Right.  So we’re laughing, having fun, and one of them looks at me and says “watch this.”  A few seconds later he hands me a FLOWER made from a NAPKIN and naturally I thought it was the coolest thing I’ve ever seen in my life.  Does this really happen to people?  Is this just birthday luck?  Who is this guy?  Did he also just hand me a ring he made from a dollar bill?
I need another drink.

If you think I wore that dollar bill ring and carried that flower around all night you are absolutely correct.
If you also think we never got in touch again after that night, and have since just gone our separate ways, then you are also absolutely correct.
(For the record, there are video tutorials online for anyone who wants to learn either of these fun (and easy) party tricks.)

And at the autumn fairs when my girlfriend and I are walking around desperate to find cow-spotted overalls, asking every cute guy working the games or food booths if they have seen them anywhere.  Hey, maybe we find them, maybe we get a double date out of it.   Either way, it’s win.
(It’s really a win when the guy lets your little cousin win the goldfish no matter what, even though none of us are really that great at throwing the bouncy balls into the small fish bowls.  Oh, then he offers to find you a job.  Good man, but no thank you.)

woman standing on metal fence near boy wearing black cap
Photo by Amanda Cottrell on Pexels.com

Or on the commute to work, I pass by a cute firefighter on the train.  We don’t speak to one another, but we exchange a single head nod and mutually understand that it replaces all niceties and small talk.

Just past that hero are the men in suits travelling to their finance desk jobs.  How riveting.  I think about how they could set me up for life and I could have my beach house and travel and never have to do my own finances.  But, then again, are they really worth my time?  I can settle with secretly admiring, and judging, them from a few rows away.

Or the ever so precious teenager that works the register at Target, right as the sale on bralettes goes live.  Poor timing for him because, I’m sorry, but us 20-somethings cannot pass up a bralette sale.  He turns bright red as he has to handle the lacy bras, like he is so embarrassed to be touching anything that isn’t a video game.  Just know that you are adorable and you made me giggle all day long at the thought of this encounter.

woman winter gloves winter clothing
Photo by Kristin Vogt on Pexels.com

We could talk about my personal favorite: the lingering eyes at the gym.  When I go over to the ‘heavy’ machinery where I need to share the equipment with these boys who are so clearly always skipping leg day.  When I just go over, adjust the weights, and quickly glance around to see a handful of these people looking at me as if I don’t belong, as if I shouldn’t know how to use this stuff.  As if there’s no way I could have played collegiate athletics before I became washed up and had to do these drills at 5am every week.
(Silly boys.  Surprise!  I squat more than you do.)
But their faces when they realize I actually know what I’m doing, that I don’t need a spotter, and have better form than most of them?  Well, that’s priceless.  It’s the little things, right?

(for the record: i’m kidding.  this is not my favorite.  please don’t actually watch women exercise.  I know you love to record yourself lifting, and I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but no one actually cares that you went to the gym.  so mind your own beeswax, please.)

two woman doing exercise
Photo by Luis Quintero on Pexels.com

Nonetheless, shout out to all of the men that keep us on our toes as we roam through our day-to-day life.  The ones that are polite, kind, and give us a little hope for the future of mankind.  And here’s to all the women I can turn to and tell these stories with, and for everyone who shared with me their own encounters so I could put together this piece.

It’s still amazing to me that I can run into so many people, and meet so many strangers, and yet I still have not run into Chris Pine.  Maybe someday, if the universe thinks I deserve a good week.  Until then, bad rom-coms it is.


How to Chase the Future (a slam poem)

each day my phone reminds me where I was a year ago.

I reminisce –

thinking I was smarter, nicer, prettier, younger “then” –

and for a minute I stop to share these memories.

with myself, my followers, my phone.

and I turn them- my memories – into something of  a show

something to brag and boast about

something and someone I used to be

someone who is now history,

someone who is… dead


I am not jealous of the dead.

I am not jealous of the lost.

the ones who are stuck in the memories.

the ones who we strive to be better for – because the fact remains that we –

were not good enough “then”

I think about the word “then” like a railroad crossing

the light doesn’t have to blink for me to slow down – I just do it automatically

“then” is like him

it is a one-word memory

it is triggering

it is a shotgun – no ammo – all recoil

it is – lost loves

and past lives

because you can’t hear the word “then” and not think of a memory

so we generalize it.


a time when freedom meant something to them


someone other than ourselves


an enemy labeled he, she, them



a friend, a lover, a parent


the same


someone we often forget because they were only on our minds back “then”


you see “then” is a shotgun

no ammo

all recoil

then is the trigger waiting to be pulled


I don’t envy who I was

but as long as I am stuck looking at “then”

racing toward the past as though I was chasing the future

as long as I am stuck remembering “then”

have I even changed at all?



Five Categories Netflix Should Add ASAP

  • Lonely, Horny and Desperate – aka when Rom Com’s aren’t enough but ‘unrated’ movies are too much and too crude for you to handle. this genre could feature
    • underrated as well as up and coming heartthrobs
    • scandals
    • romance
    • and anything that would spice up a lonely night in with a bottle of wine
  • DCOMS – because everyone needs to know what Disney Channel Original Movies are… Hello Zenon? Johnny Kapahala? Raven Simone? Where Y’all At?
    • *extra points to any reader or follower who can name their top five * in the comments below
  • Random for you – a list specifically made for the most indecisive people in the world – spin a wheel and decide what you are watching tonight! (because the number of times I have asked Google or Siri what I want to watch is out of control.)
    • roll a die pick a card – I don’t care just put something on!=
  • Movies Hulu and Amazon don’t have – not just Netflix originals
    • the number of times I have gone through all three sites to find the same damn choices is ridiculous. I am glad you all use the same algorithm but give me some variety!
  • Movies that will convince Baby Boomers you are more Cultured than the Average Millenial
    • classics like ‘Scarface’ ‘Breakfast at Tiffany’s’ ‘Grease’ the original ‘Footloose’ with Kevin Bacon? or even silent movies or Hitchcock (I am talking good cinema people!!)



  • Netflix and Chill 
    • movies and shows to mindlessly watch or not watch… and enjoy for hours on end



Do you have any categories you would like to see? Comment and share your favorites below!

On Being a Boulder Brook Mom (and the ramblings of a young poet)

The women around here are not JUST women – they are Titans. They grow up knowing that they have to be brave, fearless even. That they have to have grace and know their own worth – know that they are not cut out to simply be an accessory in their own life. That husbands aren’t guaranteed, because time is not kind and old age and good health is as good a gift as any other.

Women around here wield water skis like swords and dirtied hands like first place prizes. Women here are the reason we believe that there is a future beyond the hateful words we hear anywhere else. Women here are the reason this writer – has a voice that says something other than “like and um” when speaking in front of crowded rooms. Women here are the reason I write.

There’s Something About a Place Like This

I said it once but I will say it again, I grew up around powerful women. Strong women who loved, lived and cried for the future of their families. I grew up around Roxy the riveter types – women who were true heroes in their own right. I grew up around WOMEN – and when I say there is something about a place – I mean, there is something about THIS place that makes being who you are a little less frightening and a lot more possible. And maybe that feeling could be attributed to a mothers touch or maybe it could just be called what it is – this place is love.

It is my father’s heart still beating as the waves crash on the beach that reminds me of him – its my mother’s smile from before she knew what true unending hurt was. It’s dirty feet, sandy carpets and a love for people that are so much more than family.

In a place like this – like home, the wind moves like poetry and the waves crash in such a way that could make a natural disaster pause and watch. In a place like this – drunk thoughts become sobering memories of sunsets that reminded you of a childhood you can’t return to. It’s a place like this that becomes your identity and it is from mothers like ours that we can translate what all this poetic bullshit means.

So How do you Put words to this kind of Music?

Well I guess you don’t… but instead of stopping to correct the music – maybe its better just to sit down, pause and listen.


this post is dedicated to all the powerful and influential men and women we have lost this year. thank you for all you have taught me – thank you for being titans among men

To My Best Friend on her 23rd

To my beautiful, amazing, brilliant, wine addicted, insecure for no reason (sorry not sorry), did I say beautiful, bad ass mother********* friend. Today is not a day you want to celebrate – so instead we treat today as a funeral [ just go with it ]

(Though she still Lives) The Tomb Reads

Here Lies your 22nd year. May it rest in peace and pieces like the cake we smashed on your face exactly one year ago today – or was that two – I blame the wine… I Digress back to your tomb

It sits next to all the rest of your stones  21, 20, 19, 18 [damn those were wild], lined with yellow flowers (sunflowers), sand from your favorite beach, peanut allergy jokes, the caution tape we wore on Halloween when we were freshman, countless empty bottles of wine [of which I now realize there are far too many] I digress again –

My Eulogy reads – Here Lies your 22nd year – and I am sorry I don’t miss it more, but while it was one of the best, this day – your birthday – your first day as a 23 year old [ I mean if a day was a year you’re still a baby so…] Today let’s pretend we [you] will never grow old – and let’s take this time to appreciate all you achieved and all your 22nd year sacrificed so that you can be reborn today and earn the title 23.

Oh what a 22nd year

At 22 you graduated college, you published an academic paper or 3?, you had a fight or two with me – which sucked but it was the best thing to ever happen to us – you broke up with boyfriend, got back together with Boyfriend after realizing that you and I couldn’t date cuz he (apparently) gives better cuddles … and neither of us like girls.

At 22 you helped merrimack college parents cope with their kids being dropped off at school during orientation, sweated and swore through five too many tests, struggled with the heads of at least two departments or was it three organizations? you had a couple days that were stressful and so many more that were happy, but more than anything on your 22nd year you lived.


Now I hope as you read this you realize you’re going to have to get married for no other reason that my  maid of honor or drunken best friend speech will be the best thing you or your mother will ever hear – of course after she hears it she may have a heart attack and your husband will most likely realize that he married me too – he won’t like this of course so good luck to him.

On to your 23rd

So since I know you don’t want to grow up these will pose as my peter pan predictions for this year

  1. this year will be epic
  2. you will work your ass off
  3. your body will finally realize its only 23 and it needs to calm the f down

This year I predict will be the best one yet – it will be filled with screams, smiles and tears. There will be days we don’t get along, and days we do. There will be days you want to run away to Spain and honestly, if you give me six months I can make it happen – but beware that the foreign boys make me crazier than you’ve ever seen… This year, your 23rd year is going to be the best one yet. I know it because I’ve dreamed of it somewhere along the way.

So to my beautiful, amazing, brilliant, wine addicted, insecure for no reason (sorry not sorry), did I say beautiful, bad ass mother********* friend.

Who I know doesn’t want to hear it – Happy Birthday. You may not be happy that your a year older – but I am beyond happy that you were born and that some how – some way – some crazy bastard or magic force in the universe decided to put you into my life because you may not want to be a year older – but after all the times you’ve saved me I can say I wouldn’t be who I am or where I am today without you.

so Happy Birthday Dork – Here’s to MANY MANY MANNNNNY MORE


22 Tips For the Class of 2022

In honor of Merrimack College welcoming the incoming class of 2022 today I wanted to do a shot piece on “22 Tips for the Class of 2022”

Below are the basic tips to follow to remained informed, intuitive, and hip to the college grind.

Ultimately College is a time to find yourself, but none of us get through it without a little help from our friends – so if you have any tips be sure to send them in via the comments below!

22 Tips for the Class of 2022

1.Be Yourself

I don’t know who you were in high school but this is the time to grow – to be a dork, a nerd, a jock? No. This is a time to be YOU. So strip off the labels and be yourself because that is the only way you will find your tribe.

2. Be Someone Else

Maybe you used to be shy – be the opposite for a day. Change who you think you are, dare to leap out of your comfort zone – whether this means being someone else or just acting like the person you were afraid to be growing up. Think of who you are now and take it one step further.

3. Party – Or Don’t

News Flash – you don’t have to party in college to have fun. You don’t have to drink to make friends. Like being yourself – the party or no party debate is about you and what you are comfortable with. In college I indulged in some reckless behaviors, but I also spent a lot of nights in with friends. Who you become is about who you hang out with – so chose your friends wisely and make sure that if you do party you have your people to back you up.

4. Join a Club

At my school it was impossible not to get involved – if this is the case at yours consider joining a club. This could expand your friend group unexpectedly, or it could get you out of the room [ REMEMBER : YOU ARENT IN BACK TO BACK CLASSES FROM 8-3 ANYMORE (HOPEFULLY) SO USE THAT TIME TO DO SOMETHING]

5. Start a Club

Does the club you want to be a part of not exist …? Interesting … How about talking to someone who can help you jumpstart your club [some clubs come with school funding!]

6. Join a Cult

Umm… Wait maybe don’t do this? 

but you could join a society that goes with your major or even your career goals [ yeah… yeah … do that ]

7. Go to Every Class the First Week (then keep going to class)

NEWS FLASH – someone once calculated how much each class costed – it was around 300$ [IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FULL ‘SEMESTER’ CLASS] So every class you skip – maybe think about what someone could have done with that money… [Just saying]

8. Take a Mental Health Day

Not to contradict tip 7, but to contradict tip 7 – take a day to take care of yourself. If this means laying in bed and watching sad movies with a tub of ice cream or going on a run instead of that class that has been making you cry – take the time, regroup. No amount of money or time is worth sacrificing your health.

9. Talk to that One Person who is “way out of your league” [because they aren’t]

See that guy/ girl at the front of the class the one who’s dimples seem “perfect” and who’s shirt always brings out the “glimmer” in their eyes – TALK TO THEM – better yet ASK THEM TO HANG OUT OR GO OUT. The worst a person can do is say no – so why aren’t you taking a chance?

10. Comfort someone who is clearly homesick

From the first week to the last day of senior year someone will get homesick – its a guarantee. So go and ask if they are ok. Talking to someone or even saying hello can make a huge difference.

11. Go on Epic Adventures

“Yo bro do you wanna walk to CVS – Get Coffee? Yo lets go to chipotle!” Remember that adventure is literally everywhere so get hype and find a reason why a small trip could be an awesome way to orient yourself with your campus’ surroundings.

12. Spend a Night in

Movie Night? Popcorn? Enough said

13. Get in Trouble at least once [call it a learning experience]

Get to know your campus resources – you don’t have to do anything stupid to do this but getting in trouble or getting in a fight with a new friend teaches you more than perfect relationships and a perfect record. You won’t learn if you don’t make at least one mistake.

14. Get a Job

I was once asked how much allowance a mother should give to her kid… I told the woman that I got a job instead of asking for money from home. When the mom rubbed this in her students face and told her she should get a job – I turned to the student and said – if you have a job you don’t have to ask permission on what to spend YOUR money on. [the mom wasn’t thrilled but it definitely put an idea of self sustainability into the students mind]

15. Be Best Friends with your Prof (or department head)

Extra time on a paper or a test? Extra help on what the midterm exam will ask for – being friends and having a professional relationship with your professors could make your grade, or it could just help you learn some fun information about what it means to be a member of your major.

On the first day of class make it a habit of introducing yourself. It makes a difference

16. Be someone’s hero for a day

Making a difference in someone’s life is honestly not difficult. Start today by being kind – this practice could make you a hero, a decent human or a great leader one day – so try it out.

17. Consider a point of view you thought you were completely against

Politics – Violence – Civil Rights

Change starts with a conversation. It is hard to be open minded but it’s impossible to grow without the ability to communicate why you believe what you believe. At the end of the day you don’t have to like someone’s views, but finding out how they got those views will help you understand people better.

18. Nickname your friend group [ make it obnoxious but relatable ]

My friends and I called ourselves ROLEX – my brother took this as an opportunity to point out that we named ourselves after something that was “overpriced and useless” but I just thought we were timeless.

19. Make Someone Proud [ Or better – Make Yourself Proud ]

Whoever you’re doing it for – do it well. I can’t help you with this one, it’s all up to you

20. Do something you never thought you could do

kiss someone, fight someone, sky dive, join a club – just do something out of your comfort zone and maybe you’ll surprise yourself

21. Get in trouble again [ another lesson – just for the hell of it ]

Fool me once shame on me – fool me twice shame on you…. you got to risk it to get the brisket my friends so push some limits [WITHIN REASON] but whatever you do, learn something from it.

22. Graduate ?

I mean if you’re gonna WIN at college you got to finish it right? SO DO IT!

The Afterward

After Graduating from the best four years of my life SO FAR I cannot wait to see what the future holds for my brother and friends who are still enjoying and suffering through their college years. Being someone who has been vastly defined by the events that have built the person writing to you today – I can say that the best is yet to come and that these tips are exactly the ways to break out of your shell and make college great.



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stay tuned for more with our next college story “How to WIN at College”

Clearing A Space

Have you ever been in a room that made you frustrated or anxious or experiencing a variety of emotions without reason? You may be falling victim to the out of control energy that we often experiences in spaces that have not been properly energetically cleansed and cleared. Now, I am not trying to scare you as this will not do you any physical harm, but being in a space with off the charts energy can certainly leave you feeling miserable and confused. I have a few key points that can help you cleanse a space you may know in need of a cleansing. These spaces range as they can be rooms, cars,boats, even houses and large spaces of land.

  • You must first ground yourself in the space. Grounding is the act of imagining your feet connecting with the earth and you slowly feel the energy and power of the earth connected with you.
  • Secondly, you should clear yourself spiritually. Will anything attack you? No, the chances of something like that happening are slim. You just have to imagine a force moving all of the negative energy out of you and all that no longer serves your best interest. You have to send it away and release.
  • For protecting myself I enjoy imagining a bubble of light surrounding me and shielding me from all types of energy. Why would I do this? I do this to make sure I am in control and no other energies are connected to me as I clear the space.

Once the steps mentioned above have been implemented I would suggest burning white sage, if you would rather not there are amazing spray bottle sages that you can spray in a space that will do the same thing. Go around the perimeter of the area, commanding in your space that your looking to cleanse all energies from this space and that you’re taking control of all energies that enter, only ones that serve your highest purpose. This process generally takes several minutes, but once it has been implemented I would highly suggest burning lemon grass in any form whether it be a candle, the root or even lemongrass essential oil. Lemongrass is helpful is drawing in positive energy and helps aide in the release of energy that no longer serves you.

light painting at night
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com