A part of me has never been good at articulating what is actually on my mind. I tend to turn to blame, anger, fear, and all the other nasty emotions we, humans, tend to get wrapped in – so I guess what I want to clear up before I start is that this post isn’t really about politics – its about me being done with how much hate I have seen lately and that I just want to do what I can to change the conversation. So while this is going to start a little rough – just keep with it, I promise to make it worth it…
Done with Hate
When I say I am done with Politics what I really mean is that I am done with the hate it seems to bring from both sides – and when I say I am done with politics it isn’t really about politics at all its more of a hot trigger word to get people to focus in because no one really gets drawn in by “Hey why don’t you just make someone’s day today!”
So when I say I am done with whatever I guess it means that a part of me is done with democracy. Of choices and sides and slander because lately, I feel as though I have lost faith in the system – in myself, in my faith, in the idea that people can be caring and honest – and I know this may sound like it is angled at one person but I am done with blaming anyone other than myself.
See often there is no outlet for people like me who are so frustrated about nothing and everything that, well it all gets pent up. It all gets focused and gross and rots almost like a dream deferred.
I guess, sometimes, a part of me worries that I am still stuck in my anxiety-fueled teen years. That my mouth hurts from the braces rather than the words trapped in the back of my throat. Then I see all those videos of people standing up and telling me to vote – that my voice matters, but I still wonder if it does.
You can’t call this type of feeling insecurity, but I suppose you could call it grief – because the stress that ensues from trying [and failing] to be PC isn’t one I want to live with so I end up on here ranting to strangers about how unfair it is for my middle-class white ass. BUT IT ISNT – AND HOW DARE I.
Have you ever felt sorry for yourself? and then suddenly a wave passes over you telling you to stop being ungrateful? I have… but then I realize that there is a difference between accepting your shortcomings and admitting that you can do something to extend what you have to others. and this post is a great example because by saying I am “done with politics” I could influence others to be, but that isn’t what I want to do…
No. What I want is to tell everyone that I am done with the system as it is – I am fed up with the way people are treated, I am sick of hate being a primary consumer product and I want to change that. And this isn’t meant to post blame – it isn’t meant to point a finger but rather gives each of us an opportunity to change the world around us because power is nothing without words – without a message – and without a vessel to spread it.
So let’s be the vessel let’s be powerful by spreading something more. Let’s be the change we wish to see in the world – and let us start today.