I live on Pinterest. I window-shop on Zillow. I spend my free time dreaming of what my future life might be like. I have a board that is specifically dedicated to what I want for my dream wedding, which for me doesn’t mean floor to ceiling flowers or a dress that costs more than my car, but instead fun reception games and fans that say “Toit Nups”.
The problem going forward is not that I don’t have a husband in mind, but rather that he and I cannot imagine paying for any of it. I find myself in a situation that generations before us didn’t worry about: affording to move forward in my relationship. I have been with Ian for over two years, but with the average cost of a wedding, and living in a state where the cost of living is high, we feel stuck. We can afford to live our lives and pay our expenses, but we can’t afford much else. We want to spend our lives together, but our future still has a big question mark when it comes to the next steps.
This is not a comment on our relationship, but rather about every outside factor. We are perfectly happy the way we are, but we do want to move forward. We love our Tuesday date night, lazy Saturdays, and church on Sunday morning before I go to work. We have not only a routine, but the communication skills that we use in our partnership that keep us strong and fulfilled.
Ian is already the first person I talk to in the morning and the last person I talk to before I go to bed. When I have news, good or bad, he is the first person I tell. We are a team already. In a lot of ways, I feel like the wedding is just putting an official title on what we already know.
Believe me, I do want to get married. I do care about it and I want to have a wedding, but I simply have no extra money to spend. So I’ll stick to Pinterest and Zillow. I will save dresses to my cart and dream up bridesmaid gifts. We will walk through Pier One and discuss our favorite furniture. We can dream all we want, but that won’t change the numbers in our bank accounts. I guess for now we will just have to play pretend.
What happened to middle school dances. To the guarantee that someone would show up far to drunk to a party where ALL the adults were watching. What happened to “apple bottomed jeans”? and to “boots with the fur”? But most importantly why did growing up, mean that my scheduled social obligations had to go out the window?
“Go out, Meet People”
Most assume that in the tinder and bumble age of dating it is easy to meet people out in public. For me, this is not the case.
This, in part, is because I moved into a town with virtually no bars and all families/ college students. But at the same time, college didn’t prepare me for what comes after the end of my own young adult novel.
And why would it… because even the end of the Harry Potter series skipped twenty years ahead to sending young Albus Potter off to Hogwarts – so what is the real value of telling someone like me how to live after my nemesis is gone and my education is all said and done?
Truth is… it’s not easy to meet people when all you do is work and sleep and a decent night out costs forty bucks.
Social Structure
Today I realized that the thing I miss the most in my life is organized socialization.
I miss the idea that someone else has planned IN ADVANCE for me to be somewhere out of social obligation. And the fact that all I had to do was show up rather than putting it in my google calendar for three weeks from next Tuesday.
Graduation Made Me Do It
I will confess that I am washed up. That limbo is neither a game nor a state of being but rather a way of living and that I have embodied limbo wholeheartedly since last May.
Truth is, I am not ready to let go of the structure. Of the idea that I can be stimulated by something other than healthcare claims data and research. Truth is, I am not ready to give up on pre-planned events, but I have to.
That being said… What they don’t tell you when you graduate is that after twenty-two years of your life you will no longer have daily or weekly social obligations. You will not have to attend school functions, educational events, conferences based on scholarly merit, or movie nights. Upon graduation, it is no longer socially acceptable to attend school-related social events, excluding homecoming or other “big games”. Upon graduating and of course, landing a job, the only “social” event you are required to attend is work – and as someone who loves structure, I am NOT a fan.
Am I Wrong To Want More?
A question I constantly grapple with is… am I wrong to want more from my life? Am I wrong to want someone to talk to on the phone or in person? To go out to dinner with, even if I know dinner has to be at 9 pm when classes get out. Am I wrong to want a life beyond what is good for me and my career? Or am I just too ungrateful to realize that everything I have is more than a gift and that a year from now re-reading this, I’ll laugh about the days when having a scheduled life — beyond the crazy schedule I have given myself — and realize I was exactly where I was meant to be.
I’ll make this brief. I am a devout Catholic and a student of Catholic schools. I believe in Catholic education. I believe in the participation in March for Life. The horrific events that transpired on January 18th concern me.
I won’t waste your time and tell you to expel these students. I won’t waste your time and tell you to forgive them and teach them better. These decisions are up to you.
I will ask you though, why you would let these students wear MAGA hats, essentially a modern symbol of hatred, to the March for Life event? Traditionally, the Republican party has been associated with being anti-abortion. I choose my words very carefully here because I will not say that the Republican party, especially Trump’s Republican party, is pro-life. Being pro-life means having compassion for our fellow human being. It means providing single mothers who choose life with assistance and support. It means treating everyone with respect. March for Life should be that–a protest in favor of the pro-life movement, not just a protest to end abortion.
I am disgusted that these students were allowed to bring and wear these hats on your trip. The fact that this was associated not only with Catholicism, but with Catholic schools, disgusts me to my very core. I believe you have failed in your mission as a Catholic school.
The Catholic church has found itself on the wrong side of history too many times. I am from Vermont and now live in the greater Boston area–two regions that were deeply hurt by too many child abuse cases. These and other stains upon our church need to be met with a greater consciousness. You, as leaders for our young people, are tasked with this. I am embarrassed on your behalf.
Your job as educators is to teach your students the true values of Catholicism. You failed in that mission when you let those students bring and wear those hats. Catholics are pro-life, not just anti-abortion. I am saddened by what you let spiral on January 18th.
Feel free to contact me further if you feel necessary. I will be praying for you and your school, as well as for the students who have so much to learn.
Sincerely,
Jessica Bruso
I sent this email on January 23rd to the principal, assistant principal, dean, and guidance counselor of Covington Catholic School.
The other day a friend of mine posted on Facebook enraged that our president has stonewalled the government for this long and for this reason. Remarking how, in the beginning, Trump declared that Mexico would be paying for the wall – now that we have laid that ill thought out plan to rest, he wants to allocate five billion dollars to something that no one wants.
But a wall that is essentially a giant compensation for the total lack of respect that he receives. That is “well worth” burning money that could go towards education or infrastructure or creating a program that retrains coal miners to work in a more progressive energy field…
A
and the point he makes isn’t at all off base – in fact, it is quite informed. The idea that we would be giving our president a reward for the claims and trouble he has made is ludicrous. Correction – it is down right insane because then we are giving a man a reason to be remembered when most of us would rather forget the blasphemous statements and contradictory claims he has made while in office.
5 Billion Dollars Toward Change
In history, in life, and in relationships, walls have progressively become less and less effective for keeping people out. As weapons become more advanced, as people grow more persistent, walls aren’t what they used to be. In fact, since the great wall of China, I cannot think of a wall that has been nearly as effective as it was meant to be.
The best example being the Berlin Wall which people risked their lives and lost their lives climbing over, were given supplies (even if it was nearly impossible), and eventually, the wall was torn down.
Now, personally I have never seen five billion dollars burned – literally or figuratively, but if a border wall is put up and torn down years later – well then is there truly a need for it in the first place?
Or
Is the better option – putting 5 billion into education or renewable resources, where instead of trying to keep people away from “our american jobs” Americans are actually made to be better suited for higher paying jobs. Where poverty goes down, the economy rises, renewable resources get more funding because there are more people pushing to find better solutions.
As a Writer – Not a Politician
Anyone who reads my blog is sure to know where I stand politically. They know that I don’t stand for injustice, that violence against anyone is wrong and that separating children from their parents – no matter the reason, shouldn’t be published on Twitter.
If I am being honest, I would have been fine with having a businessman in office BUT the problem I have, correction, the biggest problem I have with the man in office is the way he communicates, and the messages he shares.
Tweets are not the answer when it comes to reaching the public. Spreading hateful messages against women and minorities aren’t either. But most of all – slander is not truth. so when the president shares that this wall is to keep terrorists out. I personally would love to see the data that proves that immigrants from Mexico are causing more harm than anyone already in this country.
Don’t Hate the Messanger
The expression a colleague told me when talking about (defending) the president, was “don’t hate the messenger”. At the time he was talking about the president, but as he continued I found the message he was sharing to be remarkable in that he was also defending his own beliefs.
Similarly, an argument from a family member whose views rival mine was that, while we don’t like the message, it is remarkable decisive considering the target market Trump has directed his views toward. Personally, however, I cannot accept these responses because in this case, the message, while perfectly and obviously reaching its target market is one that I cannot stand by.
Whether the message is hate, intolerance, racism, sexism or the “lack” of collusion, one thing is certain. The recent Government Shutdown, as it stands, is nothing more than a middle-aged man throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. Why? because his mother didn’t get him the cereal he wanted. And what is worse? The cost of this wall could alternatively be allocated to education, or paying back the men and women who are not being paid because one man thinks that a wall will solve a problem or any of the other problems this country is currently faced with.
The Government Shutdown, as it stands is nothing more than a middle-aged man throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. Why? because his mother didn’t get him the cereal he wanted.
-RM
So for me, this stalemate, this tantrum, and this blame game is one that sends yet another wrong message to the members of our county. Especially the young members of our country.
The Message
The current shutdown sends the message that if you don’t get what you want, hold your breath. If you don’t get what you want, stand your ground. If you don’t get what you want, blame the other side of the argument.
And for me, this is baffling because if I tried this tactic with my mother, with a job, with anyone whom I expected to take me seriously, I know they wouldn’t.
Adulting at its Finest
At the end of the day, my vote is always one that favors the people and the fact that people are currently suffering because one man is not getting what he wants is just wrong.
My friend was right with what he stared on facebook – there are better ways to spend that money. There are better ways to help our fellow man, and personally, I just hope our country works toward a future, and a population, and a president that understands that.
In 2019 we wanted to step up our game – we will now be featuring videos in some of our blog posts! Hopefully they catch your eye and help you think in new and exciting ways.
When I was let go from my first full time teaching job due to budget cuts, many things went through my mind. Would I find a new job? What will happen to my students? How will I tell my parents? On top of this my biggest fear of all was that I was losing my health insurance.
I don’t remember much of the meeting. I was called into the Principal’s office (something equally if not more scary for a teacher than a student) and there was a Human Resources representative sitting in the room. I sensed what was going to happen. My face felt hot and there was a rock in my stomach. When I was told that I would be finishing the year but not having my contract renewed, I sat, shaking, and asked why. The principal listed reasons but I barely listened. I began crying and blurted out “but what about my health insurance?”
This job loss came only a week after I found a tick in my leg. At first, I thought it was a scab–possibly from a razor nick I didn’t notice. ~WARNING: GROSS TICK-IN-LEG DESCRIPTION AHEAD~ The next day, I took a closer look and realized something was embedded under my skin. It was black and no bigger than a poppy seed–it was a tick nymph. Nymphs are the smallest and most likely to transmit Lyme disease. I did my best to dig it out, but it wouldn’t budge. I was not able to fully remove it until about a week later–when my skin had grown and pushed the (now dead) tick up.
My fate was sealed. After only a couple days, the signature bullseye showed up around the bite and I felt fatigued. My worst Lyme symptoms were the fatigue and brain fog. Being tired is one thing. Being sleep deprived is another. Having fatigue is an entirely different beast. I would have trouble waking up, be falling asleep at my teaching job, come home and nap, work my second job, and then go to bed and sleep for ten hours. My work schedule was tough but I had never had an issue with being so tired until this symptom showed up.
In addition to the fatigue, I had brain fog. I had a lot of issues with communicating. I remember getting so frustrated in conversations when I couldn’t find the word I was looking for. I was having trouble articulating exactly what I wanted to say, causing misunderstandings that I struggled with clarifying. The fatigue was awful, but the brain fog was frustrating. Luckily, I found help.
I was connected through a friend of a friend to my wonderful doctor who tested me for Lyme, which came up as positive–with two cases. I was shocked to hear this. She told me that often, the disease goes undetected because the symptoms can be mild and hard to pinpoint. We figured out Lyme had been in my body already for at least ten years and that I had developed this new case on top of it. I started on antibiotics right away and have been on strong antibiotics for six months now. My older case is gone and my treatment is progressing as planned, but my monthly tests are still showing Lyme and a weakened immune system as a result.
When I lost my health insurance, I went back onto my mom’s. Unfortunately, many insurance providers don’t cross state lines, and if they do, they have confusing hoops to jump through (like sending a fax–not an email or letter–a fax). My monthly appointment with my doctor is just over $300 a month. My medication is $100 a month. My lab tests are $150 a month. For someone who just lost a job, an unexpected $550 a month expense is financially devastating.
My mother’s insurance is able to cover some costs and I am able to apply for some reimbursement for my treatments, but it is still costing me about $200-300 out of pocket per month. This is much more manageable now that I have a job as a substitute teacher and my second job in the evenings, but I much preferred my $20 copay and partially covered prescriptions.
At the end of the day, I am thankful. A lot of things could have gone wrong over the course of this journey. I could have never found my doctor. I could not have responded well to the antibiotics. My mother’s insurance could have refused coverage for all of my medical expenses. I am thankful for my caring doctor, my mother, and the support I have received from family and friends throughout this journey. That being said, I must now get up on my soapbox.
I have said it so many times over the past six months and I will sound like a broken record to anyone that knows me: we need Universal Healthcare. I am so privileged to have access to the healthcare, finances, and (albeit lacking) insurance needed to treat my Lyme. I can’t imagine how much worse my situation would be if I did not have my two jobs or my mother to help me. I am lucky that my condition isn’t much worse. I don’t need surgery, chemotherapy, or insulin, just antibiotics and a monthly check-in. I hate to think about the financial ruin I would be in if it was worse. If we had Universal Healthcare, we would only worry about getting better, not the cost of treatment.
The fact that millions in the United States do not have health insurance and are susceptible to suffering from treatable diseases due to a lack of funds is a national embarrassment. We are the generation with the lowest voter turnout rate. So vote. Advocate. Make this issue known. Because a bug the size of a poppy seed should not become a financial death sentence.
My first experience with watching Saturday Night Live clips was at the family computer in 2008. I was in eighth grade and my dad shows me Tina Fey as Sarah Palin and John McCain as himself selling merchandise on QVC. I still remember some of the items from the sketch: a Joe Six Pack Doll and Palin 2012 t-shirts and of course, Fey delivering one of the infamous “I can see Russia from my house” lines. This was the age where I am finally able to understand and appreciate the humor of the show and when my eyes are finally opened to the adult world of comedy.
When I look back to my first experiences with watching “adult” shows, I remember Seinfeld. When I was seven years old, I watched those reruns almost every single night. My parents knew exactly when to hit mute and when to say I would have to watch the next episode when I was older. As soon as I was able to understand and appreciate the humor of any show my parents loved, they let me start watching it. Friends, Arrested Development, Cheers… all of these were introduced to me by my parents. I experience joy and laughter when I watch television and nothing else. Little did I realize, I was one of a rare breed.
Way too often I fall victim to the inquiries about my television habits.
“You don’t watch Grey’s Anatomy?”
“But you’ve seen Scandal right?”
“You HAVE to watch This Is Us!”
“Not even Game of Thrones?!”
Look. I’m not saying you shouldn’t watch these shows. I am just saying that my personal preference is not to spend my very little free time crying in front of a screen. I don’t enjoy watching a medical crisis (unless of course it’s on Scrubs) or political drama (except for Seasons 4 and 5 of Parks and Recreation). I don’t want to see family drama–I have my own family for that. I personally do not want to use up my time when I am supposed to be escaping from my troubles in the world glued to a screen watching stories that are supposed to make me cry, fear for the characters, or tug at my heart strings. I have enough of that in my own life.
I just don’t get it. I really don’t. I want to be happy and smiling as much as humanly possible. Don’t get me wrong, I want to be able to enjoy this kind of programming because frankly, I am running out of shows to watch. I have Netflix AND Hulu. I have seen so many comedy specials. I have an opinion on almost every sitcom produced in the last ten years. I have a favorite SNL cast member from any given time period.
I should take the time to emphasize that I’m not against human stories. Some of the best story lines I have watched have been the death of Marshall’s dad on HIMYM, Gretchen’s struggle with depression on You’re the Worst (seriously go watch that), and any and all of Rebecca’s mental health issues on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend. Comedy does not have to be absurdist or unrealistic. Finding the humor even in sadness is one of the most human things we can do.
My beliefs may be extreme, but comedy is an integral part of who I am. I don’t want to spend any of my time feeling sad for a fictional character. Life is dramatic and terrible enough as it is, so I’m going to laugh as much as I can.
Dinner Parties, Glasses of Pino Grigio, nights spent cuddling a body pillow or reading a book… This is “Adulting”.
Taking your kid to school, going to the gym, taking care of yourself and eating food that isn’t from a conveyer belt… this is also Adulting.
What people don’t realize is that “Adulting” isn’t a fad – but a lifestyle and a struggle to be adopted. Adulting is doing chores, it is holding your head high in a meeting where you want to punch a wall. Adulting is realizing that life. is. hard. and knowing that no one has the exact key to get you through.
Why People Care
The excitement surrounding “Adulting” isn’t one that starts and ends with 20 somethings. While the expectation is that 20 somethings exiting college are most likely to identify – the contrary is true. Our premier demographic is all ages from 18 – 55, reaching anyone who may be struggling with a job, a relationship, a child or a habit. People care because this isn’t just a means to get people to click, its meant to make people turn up their head and listen. It is meant to help people realize they are not alone in being dysfunctional adults and that is something to be savored.
I am Adulting?
Six months or so ago I started my own journey of Adulting… I did it as a way to write more, to cope with some rather heavy experiences and to create a community among people who are all pushing to get by.
Since I started, really started my journey, I have traveled, I have loved, I have lost, I have eaten too much and worked out too little. I have written about things people care about. Rambled on things that they don’t, and through it all I have struggled like heck to figure out who I am now vs. who I was in college or at home.
For my own definitions sake, Adulting is and has been, learning that I can’t have it all. That being in the working world means that sacrifices to gym time and hobby time need to be made. And it has not been easy.
For me, adulting isn’t about growing up – its about trusting yourself. It is about learning your limits, your boundaries, and pushing them. For me it isn’t the word it’s the journey and today… I am pretty happy where I am with it.
To all Adults
To all my 2019 adultingeers, welcome to the club. Welcome to the journey and if you will have us, welcome to the stories we share.
After six or so months of doing this blogging thing with my team I could not be happier for what we have and continue to accomplish – I can’t wait to see what this year holds and whose stories it brings to light. Cheers!
One of the top books trending on Amazon, and was recently named a New York Times Best Seller, is The Good Neighbor by Maxwell King. The book by King is an in depth biography about everyone’s favorite person growing up; Mr. Fred Rogers. Chronicling the life and times of this almost saintly PBS star, we get a really close look into an adult figure that basically shaped the modern times through his unconditional sense of nurturing and embracing the love of helping others grow. Even thou he is gone, that cardigan and simplistic smile still represents so much today.
i was fortunate enough to grow up in the time frame when Fred Rogers was producing the famous PBS show directly day in and day out. Although i was younger and started to watch the show and Mr Rogers in his later part of his legendary broadcasting career, i still loved to rush to the TV back in the day and wait to see the friendly neighbor walk through his door. i feel now that i am 24 i look back and become enthralled with what i learned from the show. Even if we did not know we were learning the skills to be a good human being, Fred Rogers always knew his audience was learning. Through his teachings and time with us, we learned what Fred Roger’s idea of being a good person was and how very simple it could be.
Be Kind.
It has been nearly sixteen years since Fred Rogers left our neighborhood, a new generation of children have come and started to learn of the lessons he gave us, but what if i told you that we need to revisit the episodes of a simple man ourselves?
It seems these days we haven’t been the friendliest of neighbors to each other. Building walls, hurting one another and not simply being kind when we need it the most. We know that this world is not meant to be perfect, nor is meant to be catastrophic in nature, but what we should start as 2019 is in its infantile stages is to be more like Fred Rogers and take up his Good Neighbor mantle he left behind for us. I like to believe that the world could use a good neighbor like Mr. Rogers these days. He was imperfect and that’s the way we all are, he loved unconditionally which we all have the potential to create, and he never created a persona for himself to supply the audience, in short terms he never stopped being who he was a rare, authentic form of a man.
“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, “Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.” – Fred Rogers
Fred Rogers always tried to bring the best out of people, even adults. In times of hardship and tragedy, we always looked for comfort in the things that are familiar to use and our childhood usually makes an appearance. In recent years, we have had things happen in this world that should never happen to anyone under our sun and stars, unspeakable acts and disasters that have rattled us to our very core, that have changed us in ways we wished we weren’t changed. But even in the 21st century and almost two decades since he passed away Fred Rogers is still helping us even in adulthood. As he said before “look for the helpers”, but i think we can do better than look for them. Lets be the helpers in times where things are not so good. It doesn’t have to be on a cataclysmic scale but we can be the ones that help others day in and day out even on the smallest things. Lets be the ones the next generation looks to in times of strife and say “Yes there they are, the helpers”.
I like to think this will be my goal for not only 2019 but in the years to come as well. We can all use a neighbor during our life, to help us on both our bad days and to help celebrate the good ones. i challenge those who are reading this to be a little more neighborly this year and it doesn’t have to be on a major scale. It can be simple and sweet and still have all the value still to it. If not the most important challenge i ask of those who read this is very simple and honors Fred Rogers the most; be kind.
I knew Ian was a smoker long before we even started seeing each other. Going to a small college with only so many students, the smokers stand out. You smell it in the air when you walk by. Sometimes you hold your breath or cough. To any non-smoker, the odor is offensive and disgusting. We associate smoking with something that old people do. My grandparents smoked and so do many of our generation’s parents. With the knowledge we now have about the harm it causes to our health, why would anyone start?
I cannot count the number of times I have asked Ian why in the world he would take up smoking. His answer is always the same: he is the product of his environment. He was raised by a single mother (a smoker) and all four of his older brothers started smoking around the age of eighteen. Ian would get so upset when his mother and brothers would smoke. He used to steal lighters and hide them away–you can’t take cigarettes without getting blamed, but you can definitely “misplace” lighters. Despite all of this, the culture of smoking was contagious. One day, when he was feeling particularly stressed during his senior year of high school, he picked one up and that was it. He has now been smoking for nearly five years.
According to my parents and several other well-meaning “friends”, I should put a stop to this. I have been told countless times that I am responsible for getting him to quit. At first, I thought they were right and that this was possible.
I’ve tried badgering him. I’ve stolen his lighters. I’ve taken to hiding his cigarettes when I am drunk. I have asked him to cut down. I have monitored how many cigarettes he has smoked in a day. I have done everything I can possibly think of.
Except for one thing.
I am always told to do it. I am always told it would work. I refuse.
I will not give him an ultimatum. I will not say to him “Give up smoking, or I will leave you.” Just the thought of this is horrible to me. The idea that I should leave him unless he makes this change is unfair. I could stay with him and help him follow through his plan to quit which is mainly based on his plans to move out of his mother’s house and get away from that environment. Or, I could throw away the relationship we have built for the last two years and threaten to leave on this condition which will not only hurt him, but hurt me as well. Even if it were to work, is giving an ultimatum any way to have a healthy relationship?
Some may disagree, but it all boils down to this: Why am I the one being held responsible for making him quit? At first, the question was “How?”, but I have realized that the real question is “Why?”. Why am I expected to fix the problem? I was not the one that caused it and while I certainly do not encourage or condone the habit, is it mine to break? This is not the first time something like this has come up for me or for anyone else. In fact, it is a problem in our society. Too often women are expected to fix the problems of the men in their life.
I was reminded of this recently when Mac Miller passed away and Ariana Grande ended up disabling her Instagram comments due to trolls blaming her for his death. This is any woman’s personal nightmare. While she is thinking “what could I have done differently?” and “is it my fault?” awful people sit behind their screens blaming her for every factor leading to his death. She is not responsible for him taking drugs. She is not responsible for his addiction. And even if she broke his heart, she is not responsible for his unhealthy ways of dealing with that.
Am I responsible for Ian’s smoking? Is there anything I can do? If he develops cancer or emphysema or heart disease and dies, is that my fault? A stupid 18 year-old boy made this horrible life decision, so why is the 23 year-old woman in charge of fixing it?
If you’re not looking for a hook up nowadays, good luck dating! We have seem to be stuck in this F***boy generation, you know what I mean. That generation where dating is sending nudes, sliding into DM’s, swiping left and right, being selected based off of a picture (even if it is not a picture of who you really are). Its a sad time, its a time where the saying “its whats on the inside that counts” could not be more wrong!
Sorry hopeless romantics, unfortunately this is the sad reality we live in. Its an interesting time where being overweight but not too overweight is sexy and if you don’t have all the right curves in all the right places you’re-looked over; BUT while being told its okay be confident in who you are. Then we have all these sub groups and titles, by the people who scream the loudest “DONT LABEL ME”…. all very confusing. Any-who then we get to the infamous “F***boy”.
You may ask yourself “what really is a “F***boy”?” And how can I get one?” Wwwweeeelllllllll let me tell you!
A F***boy is what we refer to as a guy who is only looking for sex and will do ANYTHING and I mean ANYTHING to get it. This includes lying, cheesy lines, spoiling you in compliments, giving you a fake sense of love, paired by talking to 5-8 other girls, saying the same things to them, guilting you into feeling bad about saying no, being emotionally unavailable, and to top it off he is a PRO at ghosting! Now doesn’t that sound appealing? Doesn’t that just sound like the kind of guy you want to be with! And the worst part about it all and they come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and colors! The nerd can be a F***boy, the jock, the quiet one, the funny one, even the friend! So good luck picking which are and which aren’t! Though I will say not all guys are F***boys, just about 82.458% are.
Some tips on how to spot the infamous F***boy is by posting a very flirty picture on social media, wait a few minutes and bam, they will flock! But how to pick which one you will waste the next 2-3 months on, well thats easy! They’ll be the one that keeps blowing up your phone till you give them attention, then slowly become distant! After that comes the nudes, then the hook up, then the lovely questioning yourself. With such questions like, “I don’t know what gave them the idea I just wanted to hook up! why aren they leaving me on read?” And that is when you know you have bagged a successful F***boy!
Will that be cash or credit?
In all honesty everybody, respect yourself, if a person wants to chill so badly based off of aspects of your body, that is no reason to spend time with someone. If you stand by what you feel is right for yourself and someone has an issue with it, let them go. Respect is everything in any type of relationship, don’t let anyone tell you what you want; in fears of losing someone that was never really yours to begin with.
Awkward n' Adulting 
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