Tag Archives: New Year

New – Years

I’ve never really loved the concept of birthdays. Not in terms of the celebrating or the cake (I do love cake) but in the practice of hyping one day up to be more transformative than the last. The way we celebrate birthdays – past the age of themed parties and the party favor era, tends to perpetuate this idea that we should feel different or feel more like a certain age. But the problem with that is our pre conceived notion of what that age “should” feel like, when we have no basis for understanding it because we haven’t felt it before. So I don’t know about you but, more often than not, I don’t “feel” different or like I’m a certain age. And I mean, sure, the hangovers started hitting harder after 22 but it wasn’t an over night sensation or anything, it just gradually became more and more unbearable until I decided to adapt. And for me, the concept of New Years strikes the same way. See it’s not the celebration I take issue with, but the idea that January first brings new habits or allows us to remake ourselves. But realistically, all this does is just tee us up to fail – because unlike the date, discipline doesn’t just change in a day.

Look I’m not trying to be a pessimist. I just think we should do things differently. I think we should build change when it’s called for, not when it’s popular or convenient. I think we should celebrate days as they come and not place pressure on a select few to be more transformative than the rest. And this doesn’t just go for personal habits or changes. Throughout our society we put so much faith on particular days. On big moments of change, but in doing so we avoid giving credit to the people and things and thoughts and moments that actually got us there. Think about the biggest changes in your life. A marriage, a loss, a revelation. These things rarely happen suddenly. Getting a job, writing a book, even making a sandwitch – the steps that go into making these things a reality, arguably start long before you put two slices of bread from the loaf or place pen to paper.

Change just simply doesn’t happen overnight. So why do we continue to put stake in these things and these quick fixes? (Rhetorically speaking)

All this said, this year I’m approaching change differently. And more specifically I’m approaching days differently. Over the past couple years I found ways to resolve my goals as they come – no longer waiting for tomorrow or Monday or a new year. And I intend to continue that trend. But I also want to start enjoying smaller moments. I want to be braver and smarter when it comes to speaking my mind, I want to respect myself and my relationships where they stand. I want to be honest with myself when it comes to what I can handle and what needs more work/patience. And despite how this may come off this isn’t a New Years resolution. It’s just a resolution to do better and be better than yesterday. And the way I see it, that’s all I could ask for.

New Year

For once again, the clock tolls.

12, midnight, the beginning, the end.

I sit in the remaining confetti, once again alone.

To me, it all has lost its vibrant demeanor

Another Year, Another time where everyone begins again.

It’s as if they shed their skin of the year, they regenerate themselves, then given a new look that feels old.

Yet i am left here in my war torn vessel, with all the scars from the year.

I regenerate last out of everyone, I never understand why.

Maybe, i just don’t want to go, or maybe i am not ready yet.

In some of the years, i think it is a gift, to enjoy who i was for a little while longer.

Yet i am jealous none-the-less

all i ask is that i shake these scars,

the ones that fade in through the regeneration

the ones i regret and the ones that still burn.

This year will be no different,

they sleep, i stay awake

they change, im delayed

but maybe this is they year i live with minimal scars and i regenerate quicker next time.

or maybe ill lay here wide awake again pondering what could have been.

 

it doesnt matter

the new and the old, the beginnings, the ends

shall be turned upside down again in father time’s sands

and it will begin all again.

 

 

 

Oh, What a Year!

As 2018 only has about a few days left and 2019 can now be seen on the horizon, humanity begins a sort of reflection period. We are entering a phase where we look back on the events that shaped 2018 into a year that no one has seen in recent history. We celebrate our success, mourn our losses, and count our blessings as 2018 comes to an end and we skid right into 2019. Now is the time to look back on what we have done during this year and see where our journey in life has taken us so far. I think when we begin to look back, we really start to ask the hard questions to ourselves.

Did i do everything that i wanted this year? What went wrong for me this year? How could i lose contact with him/her? Could i have avoided that heartbreak? Why Was i ever friends with them? Was i a good person? Could  i have done more?

i say we should step back from the questions and be more pensive as 2019 comes around the corner. We should reflect from where we began our journey almost 365 days ago to where we have stopped so to speak for the time being. You have never been so different in your life, why not enjoy the reflection for once? You have created  so many changes and either good or bad, they are what made the 2018 version of you so special

i hear on many occasions people talking about whether they had a good or bad year.  Now, there are good moments of the years where everything is going well and are luck would even make us consider that we won the lottery in life. Then there are the parts of the years where we could not catch our breath, where nothing broke our way and we are down on our luck. i like to think its not a matter of good or bad, more of how we recovered from the valleys to the peaks of the year. These influxes happen, its just a part of life. What happens when we are in the valleys of the year create the greatest peaks in the successes of the year.

What i consider the best part of December is that you get the time to reflect on all these things. You get to enjoy a toast to your successes that have created the best moments. We  are able to take a moment an remember all the bad times, the very bad terrible times we had in the year. We can remember the people we lost to the times and remember why we loved them so much. Each year, you pay a toll to go through the year, you might as well enjoy what you have paid for.

During this time of reflection, i hope you get to enjoy all your successes and learn from your failures. Be happy with your loved ones around you and remember those who have left us. If this was a good year, i hope you ride that wave of success again and if this wasn’t your year just know that every New Years Eve everything gets reset you start fresh like a regeneration. You never know, maybe this is the year everything comes together.

So as we enjoy the few days left of 2018, lets raise our glasses in hope of a happy and healthy 2019. 

I cant wait to see what is in store for us.