Tag Archives: adulting

JustRachel, Relationships

On Adulting and Community (Part 1)

Leave a comment

Sometimes it baffles me how some adults can act like complete children. Yes, you read that correctly, “children.” And if you are someone who is easily offended by that sentiment, odds are you might just be one of those people, SO, this week, instead of a scathing review of the current state of humans who live near me and humans who don’t we’re going to turn up the positivity and talk about 5 ways that people, as adults, can be better humans (and next week we’ll backtrack and talk about why some people aren’t always the best.)

#1 – Smile when passing

*and before you come for my throat – no, this is not me sitting at my keyboard telling women to smile more… stick with me.*

In this world, smiling or smiling and saying hello to someone in passing is probably the freest form of kindness. At our core as human beings, all we really want is to be seen or heard or for someone to validate this super realistic lifestyle simulation (joking), so smiling at someone and saying hello or merely smiling at them in passing is literally the easiest way to be a good human and show other humans you care about life beyond yourself.

So in short — “smile more” not because old white men told you to but because it might make someone else’s day. (cue the finger guns and smile with that fake sparkle sound)

#2 – Take a breath (for yourself and for them)

There are a lot of times and a lot of days when life gets hecktic and crazy, and on those days we are a bit more likely to take out our own crap on others – let’s stop doing that.

And to be abundantly clear, like #1 this is not me telling people to “just breathe” because I can forever admit that sometimes that is incredibly hard (especially in the world that we currently live in). BUT – what I am saying, is that next time you find yourself having a heated day or just feeling overheated in general, take a moment to take a breath, to welcome the emotion and place it somewhere where you yourself can confront it in a healthy way, without taking it out on others. Don’t push it away of course, but nestle it aside.

#3 – Learn to say no (respectfully)

Part of being a good human is realizing you won’t always do everything right. Not everything you say will be perfect, and not everything you do will be perfect but knowing when to say no, when to compromise, and when to set boundaries is one of the best things you can do for yourself, and for those around you.

For example. You and a friend made plans to go out a week in advance, but the day of you had a really bad day and you know yourself well enough to know that going out wouldn’t be good for you or your mental health. Step one is to let your friend know where you’re at, but the rest is up to the both of you whether you will set a healthy boundary by compromising or saying no. But ultimately, you know what is best for you and even if it isn’t easy to say no, it is what is best for you and the people you care about.

#4 – Support Your Community (and its local businesses)

In the past five years, there has been a huge rise in the promotion and support of local businesses. Part of this was because businesses took a hard hit during the panoramic, but also because when it comes to where we live, what we put in, is what we get out.

Supporting the community you live in is a huge part of being a good human because it allows you a greater sense of pride in where you come from. And the best part about supporting the community you live in is that it doesn’t have to cost you $$$ (though that does help too). You see it can be as easy as signing a petition for a local liquor license or providing a separate point of view. It can be as easy as listening to others and realizing that you aren’t the only voice in the room, or for some it can be as hard as listening to others and realizing that your voice isn’t the only one in the room. Either way, supporting your peers and your community is a great way to be involved and ensure that both you and those around you have a lovely day.

#5 – Respect other People’s Boundaries

This one is a bit trickier for quite a few people to grasp (if not the trickiest) but thats why its the most important… Respect other people’s boundaries ie. if it isn’t emotionally or physically hurting anyone and it isn’t hurting you – let others live as they wish.

For example! If someone is saying hateful slurs and representing oppressive beliefs – that needs to be shut down because it is emotionally and sometimes physically damaging.

BUT,

If someone is living as their true self, loving who they want to love, or practicing a belief system outside of your own – (respectfully) that is none of your damn business (why?) because reminder: even if it makes you question your own beliefs, it isn’t damaging to them or to you, and thus, it is none of your damn business.

At the end of the day (as I love to say) Being a good human is about supporting your fellow person toward being their truest and best self and just because your beliefs may contradict theirs if it isn’t harming anyone and it isn’t stopping you from getting into heaven (or wherever you’re. trying to go) then let it be.

JustRachel

Anxiety, Adulting, and the ‘Outerlands’

Leave a comment

As someone in one’s mid to late 20’s there are some societal and personal expectations on where one should be in life. See, as someone living in the year of our lord 2022, as a 26-year-old cis and typically straight presenting white woman, you would think I could have hit my “prime” by now.

For example (as deemed by the internalized misogyny and capitalism): I should have found a man to love and settle down with me. Once acquired, said man and I would be thinking about a house we can’t yet afford. Then we’d be thinking about kids to fill it, and if we aren’t ready for kids, then maybe we’d start by taking some trips around the world to all the places we’ve always wanted to go. — And even if all that wasn’t the case, and I wasn’t on the path to be wed, then based on where I thought I’d be by now – I would be financially stable with a place of my own, health insurance of my own, and based on my budget, a minor amazon addiction. — But see the problem with that adolescent and anticipatory way of thinking is that it isn’t realistic. [And – not that you are asking, but when it comes to the things above only like 1.5 of those things are true.]

Truth is – growing up is hard, and it sucks, and it doesn’t usually pan out the way you thought it would when you were 16 – which is probably why my anxiety kicked in the way it did when I found myself in a big room full of 16 to 19-year-olds last night at a concert.

Before you judge – Let me explain…

Part 1: Anxiety

Last night I went to a Chase Atlantic concert and if you don’t know who they are that’s ok because I have since realized – neither do I. Truth is, I bought the tickets on a whim because they were like 35$, I had heard a couple of the groups’ songs [probably on tiktok] (they were alright) and frankly, I have been going to a lot of concerts lately because it gets me out and allows me to meet new people in a cool setting.

But early on into the night, I realized this show was different.

Now let me pause for a second and note that it wasn’t necessarily a ‘bad’ show, but, for me at least, it presented an uncomfortable vibe because if there is anything that I, at 26, still have in common with my 16-year-old self, it’s that I try to avoid spaces where underage children are passing out in the middle of mosh pits. And despite the fact that the performers handled the situation incredibly well, pausing their sets to check on and help the fans in need, the whole room was giving me – “you need to be drunk or stoned to vibe and enjoy this” and I really don’t like that.

Anyway, upon arrival, the usual line to the venue was extended around three to four city blocks — and the crowd was much younger than what I was used to. So, as you can expect, I immediately felt out of place, and then quickly realized that I was possibly the only person without a group, a friend, or a chaperone. [It’s also important to note that the other three times I’ve been to this venue in the past year there hasn’t been a crowd over 200 and this one looked like triple that. So essentially, upon arrival, my perception of the event shifted to a point where I didn’t want to stay the whole night.]

Which brings us to —

Part 2: Adulting

At the end of the day, when you boil down the generic brand anxiety that comes with life and living there is one thing that is more important than anything else. Boundaries. And the most important thing about boundaries is allowing ourselves to feel comfortable enough to make and stick to them.

As I’ve grown in this life, the most important lesson I have learned (or at least one of the most important lessons I have learned) is that I set my own boundaries. I get to decide what spaces I am in and for how long. I get to decide that some food and drinks don’t need to be consumed in one setting. I get to decide who I kiss and how far it goes and I get to decide that being at a show with hundreds of kids, their parents, and a performer with a cat like ski mask might not be for me and then I get to decide to leave. And to be clear, while this may have never been the case in the past (giving myself permission to walk away), it’s comforting to know that my experience last night did allow me to make the call that was best for me, without feeling guilty about it.

Part 3: experiences in the ‘Outerlands’

Somewhere in the middle of quarantine, I coined the phrase, “the Outerlands.” I guess the main reason I used was because, when the pandemic hit, going out felt a lot more daunting or almost medieval in nature. Not medieval like chainmail and horses but like an arduous journey with twists and turns.

See every time I left the house I felt anxious or excited — like I was on this quest for Camelot… or more realistically the grocery store or the pharmacy (potato po-tah-to, I know). But of all the things I ditched after the pandemic (since we’re now in an endemic), the ‘Outerlands’ wasn’t one of them because sometimes, and especially on times like last night where I am rolling solo in the world – just leaving the house feels like a journey to be taken.

Sometimes this is hard to admit but, to me, the ‘Outerlands’ are sometimes scary (not in an agoraphobic way but in the sense that I’ve gotten used to my bubble). There’s so much in this world that happens outside the front door, so many good and bad things and for me, with my anxiety, it’s really easy to take the path most traveled and revisit the familiar and get stuck in ruts — but in the past few months, going to concerts and feeling old in a room full of 16 year olds, those are the experiences that need to be had because despite how often I say I am, I am not old – and even if I wouldn’t consider myself to be in my prime [YET] (not spoken pessimistically but in the sense that I am too young to have had the best years of my life) I do feel like these are the things one must do to take those steps toward their prime.

Moral of the Story

Look at the end of the day – I know I have to put myself out there. I know I need to go to the ‘Outerlands’ and have sometimes awkward and anxious experiences. And I am here for it. But I think the reason I am sharing this with you all today is that – like you – I’m human and I’m trying to adult and I’m trying to make 16-year-old me proud and I’m trying to live my life and … I’m just generally trying. And if that all and this all is something that resonates with you then that’s great, because at the end of the day (because I use those words far too much) we’re all just trying to get out and get anxious and make boundaries to live in and outside of and when it comes to adulting – I don’t think there’s anything more adultish than that.

JustRachel

On Healing

Leave a comment

I’ve mentioned before that I once saw a quote on my facebook wall that a friend posted around the time she had her first child. It read, “We all just want to give our kids lives they don’t have to heal from.” And given recent events, the overturning of Roe, the clear beeline being made toward attacking the rights and lives of LGBTQ+ people, a new perspective dawned on me.

We all want to give our kids a life they don’t have to heal from, sure, but the irony of the statement is that we ourselves are living proof that, broken or whole – we heal.

So what does this mean in the context of what is happening today? Well I suppose it would be natural to make the connection and just say, “we heal” but I’d argue that saying that, after knowing the extent and the ramifications of recent supreme court actions is incredibly tone-deaf.

You see, if I were to say “we heal,” as a declaration, or as a distinct statement regarding next steps – as if it were that simple, I would be diluting the actual gravity of the situation.

To say, “we heal” as a and in the tone of “just” statement – to insinuate that a 10 year old girl, who was r*ped by her father and had to get an abortion out of state because her state outlawed it after 6 weeks, needs to “just heal” is inherently insensitive and tactless and far too on-brand with aggressive and radical republican christian values for my liking. In other words, it gives “you are in our thoughts and prayers” and that is just no longer acceptable.

So instead… we fight.

We fight not only for our rights to merely exist as we are and have full bodily autonomy like the men do, but we fight for the right to heal despite the odds and the laws being against us. We fight for the right to survive this deeply barbaric assault on our freedoms and our bodies and we fight to forgive those who thought for a single moment that they could take them — and to be clear we don’t fight to forgive them because they deserve it, we fight to forgive them because when we boil it down, we don’t really forgive others for them – especially in cases like these where they don’t deserve it, but we forgive others for ourselves. we fight to forgive them because the anger is too heavy and it will only slow us down.

Healing isn’t a linear path but it’s one many of us will be on for much of our lives – because the fact of it all is, whether or not our parents or our country give us a life that we have to heal from – we will fight and we will heal.

Journals by Jess, Just Post Grad Things, Top Stories

8 Ways to Really be an Adult on a Really Small Budget

Leave a comment

Here are my personal strategies for saving money.  They might work for you, or they might not.  Being an adult means spending all the money you earn, so here’s how I make my budget go as far as I can.

  1. Pay money upfront whenever you can.  When I bought my car, I put down as big of a down payment as I could.  When I buy insurance, I pay the plan in full at the beginning of the year.  I know this does not work for everyone, but when I do this as often as I can, I end up saving several hundred dollars a year.
  2. Never buy (new) books.  For those of you who are like me, you love to read.  Sometimes we forget about the library!  Free unlimited movies, books, and more!  Now, with Overdrive and Libby, it’s easier than ever.  You can get free online books just by using your library card.  If I do treat myself to a book to own, I will only buy used from library sales or used book stores.  Another thing I like to do is trade books with friends whenever possible.
  3. Buy in bulk.  I bought a membership to BJ’s about a year ago for $25 through an incentive program for teachers at my school.  By using store coupons combined with manufacturer’s coupons (yes, you can use more than one coupon on an item there!) I am able to get even bigger savings.  It’s not just for suburban moms.
  4. Fix, don’t replace.  Whenever I can, I fix something instead of replacing it.  If you have a needle and thread, you have a life extender for your clothes.  Ripped leggings, missing buttons, or torn belt loops can be easily fixed with a little time.  When in doubt, look on Youtube for videos on how to fix things.  The sense of accomplishment comes free with the repair too!
  5. Do it yourself whenever you are able.  Time is often a constraint, but I do things myself whenever I can.  For example, in my house, I painted the rooms myself.  It took a lot of time and was labor intensive work (especially painting the ceilings and trim) but I saved money.  I am also making my own curtains for my bedroom and living room–much cheaper than buying curtains that I would most likely need to hem anyway.  It also comes with a bit of a bonus because I can pick more unique fabric than the usual curtains at Bed, Bath, & Beyond.
  6. Cook!  Yes, I love going out to eat, but cooking at home saves money.  It is so underrated.  Make something that you can eat all week and bring for lunches.  For example, I love quiche.  I will make quiche on a Sunday for dinner and then bring a slice for lunch all week.  It’s basically meal prepping, which isn’t an original tip, but I can’t do grilled chicken and veggies every day.  BONUS HINT: Whenever I go out to eat, I always order something I am not skilled at making or otherwise wouldn’t make for myself.  If I see something I want but I know I could make myself,  I take a mental note and make it for dinner later that week.  This isn’t really money saving but it helps me get my money’s worth out of going out to eat.
  7. Shop with credit cards–then pay them off.  I have a store card to my favorite place to buy clothes: Loft (don’t judge, I’m a teacher).  I pay with my credit card, get discounts and coupons often, and always pay off the balance as soon as I get home.  If you are loyal to a specific brand or store, this can help a lot.
  8. Figure out what you love, then splurge.  My fiance and I love going to karaoke bars.  There really isn’t any way of getting around the cost.  We go out with our friends, order appetizers and scorpion bowls…and it adds up.  We know this.  We set money aside to go out, so we are mindful when doing something else.  If we end up doing other things for entertainment, we remember that means no karaoke for a bit.  It helps us prioritize what we like doing and keeps us from going out too often and wasting money on stuff we don’t love.  It doesn’t keep us from hanging out with friends, but it definitely helps us make the decision between a bottle of wine together with them or a night on the town.
Brina’s Babbles

Service and Self-Care

Leave a comment

Love more, stress less!

Through my national service, I’ve learned that service is more than the day-to-day of what your site asks for. Service is building relationships, increasing morale, and creating a legacy; it’s  learning more about yourself.

(Picture from healthpsychtam.com)

As AmeriCorps Leaders, we try our best to make the most positive impact on our host sites and on the people we serve through them. We spend time training and learning how to provide for our communities but it’s important to not let ourselves get burnt out.
At my site, the faculty and staff periodically host socials where we can check in with one another and try to have a sense of humor when construction at school gets disruptive. Just the other day, the Missoula Alliance Church came to one of these socials and gave us all free lattes to help keep our energy levels up as we engage with middle schoolers. It’s the little things that help us ground ourselves amidst hectic times. 
Other than free lattes, I have a few tactics I use to assist me in maintaining my mental health:

1. Practicing gratitude and meditation: This has aided me in my ability to help myself when I’m alone at my site. Breaths are like little love notes to your body so letting yourself breathe is a good start to your self-care routine. The same goes for gratitude, reminding yourself why you are here, how you got here, and what good you have in your life can make a bad day more manageable. There is so much to be grateful for!

2. If you are an outdoorsy person like me, hiking can create healing: I go on hikes when I’m not serving to help me relax. Hiking allows me to exercise, access more companionship, and take in good ole’ Vitamin D. It provides a space where I can just let nature nurture me.

3. Write down what you feel: In AmeriCorps (especially as leaders) we are encouraged to journal about our experiences. This can be quite cathartic. It gets our thoughts and our struggles out of our heads and onto paper making everything much more manageable.

4. Reach out: You are never alone so please don’t be afraid to reach out to those around you in an appropriate manner (do have boundaries for yourself and respect people’s limits). It can be hard to start service and not have a big social circle right away. I’ve found that joining MeetUp groups and talking to other leaders can be great ways to start building friendships.

5. Remember, everyone is different: It’s okay if none of these techniques work for you, just remember that your mental health matters! Not only is it incredibly challenging to help others without helping yourself, but your physical health can actually start to deteriorate when your mental health is poor. Stress weakens your immune system, so finding ways to achieve both basic and luxurious self-care is super vital for your service work and personal life.
Think of fulfilling your needs like a pie:
Each time you eat one piece of it (or fulfill one part of it), you get to have another piece. Needs-fulfillment pie is possibly even better than regular pie (stay with me here) because when you finish it, you feel rejuvenated instead of lethargic and too full to move. In my experience, as long as you have a balance with your service work and your self-improvement work, you’ll never be too full; rather, whole.
Here are some resources that have helped me and maybe they can help you! I’m mental health first aid certified and I want share things I actually use/listen to/read regularly:
●       https://medium.com/@goodaker.d/the-power-of-a-personal-mantra-and-how-to-write-your-own-46a5531ec8aa
●       https://www.elephantjournal.com/2015/06/how-to-practice-authentic-self-care/
●       https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/my-brothers-keeper/201709/be-the-mountain-guided-meditation-video-script
●       https://ggia.berkeley.edu/practice/body_scan_meditation
●       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jPpUNAFHgxM
●       https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qYnA9wWFHLI&t=3500s
And as always call: 1-800-273-8255 or text 741741, and look up resources in your area with this link: https://twloha.com/find-help/. You are loved, valued, and never alone. I hope this article helps you or someone 

PS. I originally posted this on Montana Campus Compact’s website and it helped a lot of people so I thought that it would be fitting for my first post here !!

JustRachel

What Happened to Middle School Dances?

Leave a comment

What happened to middle school dances. To the guarantee that someone would show up far to drunk to a party where ALL the adults were watching. What happened to “apple bottomed jeans”? and to “boots with the fur”? But most importantly why did growing up, mean that my scheduled social obligations had to go out the window?

“Go out, Meet People”

Most assume that in the tinder and bumble age of dating it is easy to meet people out in public. For me, this is not the case.

This, in part, is because I moved into a town with virtually no bars and all families/ college students. But at the same time, college didn’t prepare me for what comes after the end of my own young adult novel.

And why would it… because even the end of the Harry Potter series skipped twenty years ahead to sending young Albus Potter off to Hogwarts – so what is the real value of telling someone like me how to live after my nemesis is gone and my education is all said and done?

Truth is… it’s not easy to meet people when all you do is work and sleep and a decent night out costs forty bucks.

Social Structure

Today I realized that the thing I miss the most in my life is organized socialization.

I miss the idea that someone else has planned IN ADVANCE for me to be somewhere out of social obligation. And the fact that all I had to do was show up rather than putting it in my google calendar for three weeks from next Tuesday.

Graduation Made Me Do It

I will confess that I am washed up. That limbo is neither a game nor a state of being but rather a way of living and that I have embodied limbo wholeheartedly since last May.

Truth is, I am not ready to let go of the structure. Of the idea that I can be stimulated by something other than healthcare claims data and research. Truth is, I am not ready to give up on pre-planned events, but I have to.

That being said… What they don’t tell you when you graduate is that after twenty-two years of your life you will no longer have daily or weekly social obligations. You will not have to attend school functions, educational events, conferences based on scholarly merit, or movie nights. Upon graduation, it is no longer socially acceptable to attend school-related social events, excluding homecoming or other “big games”. Upon graduating and of course, landing a job, the only “social” event you are required to attend is work – and as someone who loves structure, I am NOT a fan.

Am I Wrong To Want More?

A question I constantly grapple with is… am I wrong to want more from my life? Am I wrong to want someone to talk to on the phone or in person? To go out to dinner with, even if I know dinner has to be at 9 pm when classes get out. Am I wrong to want a life beyond what is good for me and my career? Or am I just too ungrateful to realize that everything I have is more than a gift and that a year from now re-reading this, I’ll laugh about the days when having a scheduled life — beyond the crazy schedule I have given myself — and realize I was exactly where I was meant to be.

JustRachel

Adult Tantrums

Leave a comment

MSN released a story titled, “Five ways the government shutdown could end – and why they probably won’t happen.” and I for one, am sick that it has gone on this long.

Introducing Adult Tantrums and How to Spot them

The other day a friend of mine posted on Facebook enraged that our president has stonewalled the government for this long and for this reason. Remarking how, in the beginning, Trump declared that Mexico would be paying for the wall – now that we have laid that ill thought out plan to rest, he wants to allocate five billion dollars to something that no one wants.

But a wall that is essentially a giant compensation for the total lack of respect that he receives. That is “well worth” burning money that could go towards education or infrastructure or creating a program that retrains coal miners to work in a more progressive energy field…

A

and the point he makes isn’t at all off base – in fact, it is quite informed. The idea that we would be giving our president a reward for the claims and trouble he has made is ludicrous. Correction – it is down right insane because then we are giving a man a reason to be remembered when most of us would rather forget the blasphemous statements and contradictory claims he has made while in office.

5 Billion Dollars Toward Change

In history, in life, and in relationships, walls have progressively become less and less effective for keeping people out. As weapons become more advanced, as people grow more persistent, walls aren’t what they used to be. In fact, since the great wall of China, I cannot think of a wall that has been nearly as effective as it was meant to be.

The best example being the Berlin Wall which people risked their lives and lost their lives climbing over, were given supplies (even if it was nearly impossible), and eventually, the wall was torn down.

Now, personally I have never seen five billion dollars burned – literally or figuratively, but if a border wall is put up and torn down years later – well then is there truly a need for it in the first place?

Or

Is the better option – putting 5 billion into education or renewable resources, where instead of trying to keep people away from “our american jobs” Americans are actually made to be better suited for higher paying jobs. Where poverty goes down, the economy rises, renewable resources get more funding because there are more people pushing to find better solutions.

As a Writer – Not a Politician

Anyone who reads my blog is sure to know where I stand politically. They know that I don’t stand for injustice, that violence against anyone is wrong and that separating children from their parents – no matter the reason, shouldn’t be published on Twitter.

If I am being honest, I would have been fine with having a businessman in office BUT the problem I have, correction, the biggest problem I have with the man in office is the way he communicates, and the messages he shares.

Tweets are not the answer when it comes to reaching the public. Spreading hateful messages against women and minorities aren’t either. But most of all – slander is not truth. so when the president shares that this wall is to keep terrorists out. I personally would love to see the data that proves that immigrants from Mexico are causing more harm than anyone already in this country.

Don’t Hate the Messanger

The expression a colleague told me when talking about (defending) the president, was “don’t hate the messenger”. At the time he was talking about the president, but as he continued I found the message he was sharing to be remarkable in that he was also defending his own beliefs.

Similarly, an argument from a family member whose views rival mine was that, while we don’t like the message, it is remarkable decisive considering the target market Trump has directed his views toward. Personally, however, I cannot accept these responses because in this case, the message, while perfectly and obviously reaching its target market is one that I cannot stand by.

Whether the message is hate, intolerance, racism, sexism or the “lack” of collusion, one thing is certain. The recent Government Shutdown, as it stands, is nothing more than a middle-aged man throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. Why? because his mother didn’t get him the cereal he wanted. And what is worse? The cost of this wall could alternatively be allocated to education, or paying back the men and women who are not being paid because one man thinks that a wall will solve a problem or any of the other problems this country is currently faced with.

The Government Shutdown, as it stands is nothing more than a middle-aged man throwing a tantrum in the grocery store. Why? because his mother didn’t get him the cereal he wanted.

-RM

So for me, this stalemate, this tantrum, and this blame game is one that sends yet another wrong message to the members of our county. Especially the young members of our country.

The Message

The current shutdown sends the message that if you don’t get what you want, hold your breath. If you don’t get what you want, stand your ground. If you don’t get what you want, blame the other side of the argument.

And for me, this is baffling because if I tried this tactic with my mother, with a job, with anyone whom I expected to take me seriously, I know they wouldn’t.

Adulting at its Finest

At the end of the day, my vote is always one that favors the people and the fact that people are currently suffering because one man is not getting what he wants is just wrong.

My friend was right with what he stared on facebook – there are better ways to spend that money. There are better ways to help our fellow man, and personally, I just hope our country works toward a future, and a population, and a president that understands that.

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

Clothing Optional

1 Comment

I have always worked for small companies, gone to small schools, and kept to tight-knit groups. In a way, I always knew I wanted to start my own business, band, or vigilante crime-fighting squad. But age or prowess always kept that out of reach.

Today, I Say, No More!

This upcoming year, Awkward N Adulting will be hiring more voices, creating more content, and developing some sick swag with fellow local artists.

In the past year, we have seen a rise in young voices. People who stood up to violence and prejudice and injustice. This year we saw empowerment in a way that our nation has not seen in a while.

As young people it is our duty to stand up, stand out and be true to ourselves, and there is no better way to do that than to be utterly awkward.

This isn’t a Resolution it’s a Revolution

With help from our readers we hope to reach more awkward adults than ever before, allowing everyone to have more of a voice.

Our hope in the upcoming year is that you will follow along with us on our journey so that we may all stand a little taller and glow a little brighter.

Join Us

If you feel that you have a voice you want to share, a talent you want to cultivate, or if you are just generally stoked for us to come out with hoodies and tees. Comment below. Tell us what you want and need in 2019 and we will do our best to make it happen.

#ClothingOptional

By using the # in the comments below or on our instagram you will be letting us know that you are interested in the brand we plan to create. Spread the word by sharing the #.

This year is going to be awkward…

But at the end of the day – would you want it any other way?

Journals by Jess

The Quarter-Life Crisis and When to Quit

1 Comment

Well, it happened.  Today I lived out the fantasy of most young adults.  Not the paying-off-student-loans one or the figuring-out-the-cure-for-a-hangover one, but the quitting-the-job-you’ve-worked-your-whole-life-for one.

Okay, maybe we only think about this from time to time, but for me, it had become a daily fantasy.

I started out my professional career as a teacher.  This decision was reached when I was an English major entering my junior year of college and decided to add on education to my major.  I fell in love with teaching the moment I started.  It got me over my fear of public speaking, taught me to be a compassionate person, and helped me learn how to be an effective communicator.  I loved it…for a while.

What comes next is the story of many unlucky teachers: being let go.  I had my first job in a public school teaching sophomores and juniors and while it brought along with it the stresses of a tough population and being a first year teacher among many veterans, I had a good time.  I learned a lot and I felt that I was a better teacher for it.  Unfortunately, this position ended in the same way it ended for several other teachers in my school did that year, with a “thank you for your time, your last day is in a month”.

After spending less than twenty four hours crying, feeling like a failure, and speaking with colleagues, I got my résumé in order and had started applying to new jobs.  I had several interviews over the course of the next few months and was offered a job in July.

I did not give much thought to whether I wanted to keep teaching.  It was simply what I knew.  I thought only about getting a job to pay the bills, not about what I really wanted.  I was determined only to find a school that was a better fit for me–something easier said than done when the end of August is fast approaching.

Now, for my own sake and the sake of my relationship with my now former employer, I will not say anything too negative here or mention them by name.  All I will say is that in nearly every aspect of my job, I would have done what I was asked to do in nearly the opposite way.  I have my own teaching philosophy, as all teachers do, and I want more than anything to be in a school that supports this.  Unfortunately, this was not my case with my last job.

When I go into interviews, I put on a show of the best version of myself.  I dress well, actually bother with some makeup, and smile no matter how nervous I am.  I feel that we often forget that employers do the same.  If my employer had been clear about what the job would look like in the interview process, I would have never accepted it.  My biggest issue with my job is that I was expected to follow every policy, rule, and curriculum to the letter, even though I am most happy and work best when I am able to be creative.

After six weeks, I decided to quit.  After eight, I finally got up the courage to hand in my resignation.  When I did so, it was the first time I had seen my boss smile since my interview.  I had a feeling she would be glad to see me go.  I have nothing bad to say about her for this public platform–only that we have very different ideas about how a school should be run and that my leaving was the best for both of us.

I wish I could say I felt elated as I walked out of the room.  I wish that I could say that I packed my things in a box and stormed out the door, but that isn’t me and it never will be.  I gave her the standard two weeks.  I plan to give absolutely everything I can to this job until it is time for me to leave as it is the right thing to do.  I will miss my students most of all and I will do everything I can to make sure this transition does not hurt their learning.  Instead of slamming the door and burning my bridges, I kept everything nice and polite.  I feel that because I spent such little time at this school, I will not ask for recommendations, but I would never want to be known as the woman who told the principal off and left a class of sixth graders high and dry.

So, I did it.  I left and I am not looking back.  I will finish out my nine days at this school and say goodbye forever.  I will no longer be an English teacher.  I hope to become a full time writer.  I have decided that now is the best time to pursue this dream.  I wanted to be a teacher.  I wanted to write novels.  I wanted to be a doctor.  I wanted to marry my first boyfriend I ever had.  Some dreams come true while others do for a while and then fall apart.  All I know is that I am hitting my quarter-life crisis and I quit my job in search of a path to happiness.  Call me stupid, immature, or an entitled millennial all you want.  If this is my quarter-life crisis, then I have three quarters left to go, and if I’m not doing everything I can to make myself, happy, then what am I doing?

Just Post Grad Things, Kevin at a Desk

Saving the Best for Last

Leave a comment

You think your best friends are the ones from your freshmen floor, first year seminar class, or even your dinning hall crew. In the course of four years, your first friends fade away from your college social circle and you see them walking through the halls or the random parties you attend during the years. In those times you feel like nothing changes but yet the actions are in motion and you lose the friends you thought you would have post grad.

I can speak from experience that i very rarely see people from my first year floor. Its not the fact that we argued or did anything wrong, we just drifted apart. It was not like i stopped talking with them, they always gave me the time of day. Its was the fact that some left, some ignore us and and others just changed; its a fact of life that change was due. I made different friends over my three years but i think one of the most memorable one i made was in senior year

.Chris_Grad.jpg

Chris here is your shout out!

I met Chris in May of 2016 during our time volunteering for graduation at Merrimack College. I knew of him based on stories told to me and the brief time i knew him in the Love Your Mellon crew before he went abroad for the spring semester of junior year. When i met him in that May i knew a lot about him while he had no idea who i was. Funny, because when i saw him in June for orientation i had no idea what his name was and he remembered everything.

Great start right?

What developed over time was a genuine friendship that transformed into a brother type relationship. We  would spend countless hours sending texts with really stupid photos to each other or we call late at night to ask what the fuck is going on in our lives after not speaking for like two weeks at a time. Yeah one of those types, the ones no one teaches you. The ones they say are mythical at times. We have been there for everything, the highs and lows and all the crazy shit that happened in senior year, stuff we would only tell in person (Hint; one involves a shoe). You cant find this anywhere else.

I like to think senior year friends/ relationships are some of the best you can have because you don’t have anything to prove anymore. The first two years of college you are reinventing yourself to fit a new mold that is being made by your experiences. By junior year the mold is solidifying and who you are and your reputation is basically set in stone. So when Senior year rolls around you know who you mesh with and who you don’t. In my case and a lot of other cases, we found someone that gets how we roll with things in life. Its the kind of bond you wanted all those years ago when you were basically a nobody looking to fit in. The bond you find as most authentic ones are indescribable to just anyone but you find a way to explain it in the end. The best things are the ones that take the longest to find in my opinion. Maybe it is the collapse of your time within the hallowed walls of college, but i feel as if you are not concerned of the little stuff as well.

You don’t worry about the schedules or activities, if anything you share in their passions and become a part of what they love.

Basically to those in senior year, the best is truly yet to come. What transpires your senior year really sets the pace for your post graduate experience. If you find someone that you never talked with until senior year and you really mesh well and creates a great aurora between you two, hold tight to that. Explore that a little further and take all the time you can to really get to know them. They will be the ones you seek out in the  what can only be described as the best of times and even the worst of times.

Even after all this time and all this searching, they were there all along

The Global Citizen

The Art of The Bubble: A 21st Century Dilemma.

Leave a comment

“Let’s agree to disagree”.

Sure, we’ve all heard it before, but have we heard this phrase been used recently? We live in an era where we can choose to curate the media to our tastes and preferences. This is complimented by intricate Facebook posts that can either begin or end with “Feel free to unfriend me if you disagree.”

What this results in, is a world where we are now surrounding ourselves with only like minded people, and a refusal to hear out the voices of the other side. Maybe these words are hardest to hear, especially in a volatile and polarized political climate where everything truly is black or white, red or blue, right or wrong. In order to better support your argument, one should be able to defend it against the opposition. Or at least, that was the intention of debate anyways.

Freedom of speech, to debate and discuss issues that are controversial is what the cornerstone of democracy is truly all about. If you take away the ability to have two sides of an argument, there is only right and wrong. A quote from the philosopher; Nietzsche, “You have your way, I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”  Each one of us is entitled to an opinion, and that opinion is shaped by our morals, ethics, values, worldview, and the pasts that have shaped us into who we are. How are we supposed to judge someone’s opinion before understanding why they believe what they do?

At the end of the day, I believe the best thing to do is to open ourselves up to new viewpoints. Maybe we should engage an a conversation, open up the news article on CNN/NBC/Fox News. Ask ourselves why or why not we disagree with it. One day, this will shift the conversation from WHAT we believe into WHY we believe what we do. Maybe, just maybe, through the power of a conversation, a mutual understanding will be reached or even possibly someone will see the world in a different light.

In a generation of limitless power and capability in our pockets, isn’t it ironic that we use it to access less rather than more? Better yet, let’s put the phones down and pass over the small talk. For once, maybe we can learn from each other.

The Human Alexa, Top Stories

It’s Y(our) time, now

Leave a comment

Connecticut, Minnesota, Wisconsin, and Vermont had their primaries yesterday.

General elections across the nation are on November 6th.

And voting is as important as breathing.

I’ve been learning a bunch about so called “adulting” since the tail end of college.

If anything stuck, it’s that the most important aspect of being a young adult is to put into action our training of being active members of society.

It’s one of the most mature, and critical things we can do for the world around us:

Vote.

Now, politics really have never been my ‘thing.’

The whole subject is confusing, complicated, and ever changing to say the least.

And I haven’t had enough education that actually taught me how things work; at least not past the general School House Rock structure.

I have been left to teach myself and learn about what is going on in my own government all on my own.

What I have learned, you ask?

My generation is CRUSHING the political game across the country.  We are suspected to be the most politically active generation over the course of our lifetimes the country has seen yet.

four people holding green check signs standing on the field photography
Photo by rawpixel.com on Pexels.com

For example:

On Sunday, the students of Parkland, Florida and other March for Our Lives members concluded their ‘tour’ around the country in Newtown, Connecticut; and I was fortunate enough to see it happen and speak with them first hand.

They visited over 20 states, with over 50 stops along the way – all within the span of about 2 months.

They have been actively registering people to vote, speaking to crowds that gather to hear their ideas, and informing the young voters on just how much they can impact their communities, and our country, with just their voices.

An amazing movement that started due to hundreds of tragedies across the nation.

crowd on the road
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

It’s the ‘kids’ making moves to change policies.

It’s the high school and college students who just want to feel (and be) safe on their campuses that are encouraging people to get out and vote for what they believe in.

It’s the young adults that are pushing to have the voting age lowered to 16, because all of these policies going into place are affecting THEM.

It’s the millennial generation, just barely pushing through the beginnings of adulthood, that are so passionate about encouraging people to get out and vote.

1.jpg

So, my first valuable life lesson of adulthood:

Go out of my way to learn all about my political candidates and what they believe in.

My second lesson is to go out and vote for them.

Third, is to always listen to those younger than you are.  They see the world in a different light.  They have different experiences and education.  Putting our heads together, maybe we can find a solution to our nation’s issues.  Maybe we can get new perspectives and implement programs and policies to keep everyone safe, happy, healthy, and educated.

2 (2)

As I learn the ins and outs of adulthood, these students changing the nation will be my reminder that I can change the world.  A little bit at a time.   One voice at a time.  One day at a time.