Category Archives: JustRachel

JustRachel

Define Adulting

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Dinner Parties, Glasses of Pino Grigio, nights spent cuddling a body pillow or reading a book… This is “Adulting”.

Taking your kid to school, going to the gym, taking care of yourself and eating food that isn’t from a conveyer belt… this is also Adulting.

What people don’t realize is that “Adulting” isn’t a fad – but a lifestyle and a struggle to be adopted. Adulting is doing chores, it is holding your head high in a meeting where you want to punch a wall. Adulting is realizing that life. is. hard. and knowing that no one has the exact key to get you through.

Why People Care

The excitement surrounding “Adulting” isn’t one that starts and ends with 20 somethings. While the expectation is that 20 somethings exiting college are most likely to identify – the contrary is true. Our premier demographic is all ages from 18 – 55, reaching anyone who may be struggling with a job, a relationship, a child or a habit. People care because this isn’t just a means to get people to click, its meant to make people turn up their head and listen. It is meant to help people realize they are not alone in being dysfunctional adults and that is something to be savored.

I am Adulting?

Six months or so ago I started my own journey of Adulting… I did it as a way to write more, to cope with some rather heavy experiences and to create a community among people who are all pushing to get by.

Since I started, really started my journey, I have traveled, I have loved, I have lost, I have eaten too much and worked out too little. I have written about things people care about. Rambled on things that they don’t, and through it all I have struggled like heck to figure out who I am now vs. who I was in college or at home.

For my own definitions sake, Adulting is and has been, learning that I can’t have it all. That being in the working world means that sacrifices to gym time and hobby time need to be made. And it has not been easy.

For me, adulting isn’t about growing up – its about trusting yourself. It is about learning your limits, your boundaries, and pushing them. For me it isn’t the word it’s the journey and today… I am pretty happy where I am with it.

To all Adults

To all my 2019 adultingeers, welcome to the club. Welcome to the journey and if you will have us, welcome to the stories we share.

After six or so months of doing this blogging thing with my team I could not be happier for what we have and continue to accomplish – I can’t wait to see what this year holds and whose stories it brings to light. Cheers!

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

Clothing Optional

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I have always worked for small companies, gone to small schools, and kept to tight-knit groups. In a way, I always knew I wanted to start my own business, band, or vigilante crime-fighting squad. But age or prowess always kept that out of reach.

Today, I Say, No More!

This upcoming year, Awkward N Adulting will be hiring more voices, creating more content, and developing some sick swag with fellow local artists.

In the past year, we have seen a rise in young voices. People who stood up to violence and prejudice and injustice. This year we saw empowerment in a way that our nation has not seen in a while.

As young people it is our duty to stand up, stand out and be true to ourselves, and there is no better way to do that than to be utterly awkward.

This isn’t a Resolution it’s a Revolution

With help from our readers we hope to reach more awkward adults than ever before, allowing everyone to have more of a voice.

Our hope in the upcoming year is that you will follow along with us on our journey so that we may all stand a little taller and glow a little brighter.

Join Us

If you feel that you have a voice you want to share, a talent you want to cultivate, or if you are just generally stoked for us to come out with hoodies and tees. Comment below. Tell us what you want and need in 2019 and we will do our best to make it happen.

#ClothingOptional

By using the # in the comments below or on our instagram you will be letting us know that you are interested in the brand we plan to create. Spread the word by sharing the #.

This year is going to be awkward…

But at the end of the day – would you want it any other way?

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

Don’t Expect, Just Wait.

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Holidays are notorious for relationship questionnaires. I, on the other hand, am notorious for being single. But that kinda sucks.

As much as I’d love my life to be a romantic comedy, that just isn’t realistic. And the idea that at 22 we are supposed to have it figured out is crap.

The idea that people find love by now is magical, but I’m a muggle and it’s not in my cards. So, thus, I remain alone, single and trying to find my way.

Don’t get me wrong I like (love) being Independent, but I’d also like someone to love. The idea that we “don’t have time for love” is bull though, because I have time, just not to waste.

At the end of the day we make the time for that which we want and believe in. And me? Well I just wish I had time, more time, to follow my heart.

At the end of the day they tell us not to expect love, not to wait for love but to let it come. But me, well I guess I’m just over waiting for the love when I would rather walk for happiness.

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

First. Forgotten. Forgiven

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They say you never forget your first 

and while that may be a blanket statement, whoever “they” are… 

well, I guess they kind of know what they’re talking about.

First and Foremost (a list)

Your first pet – The one you sang to when she cried, when she was hurt or scared – she was your world, and she loved Spanish lullabies and having her die in your arms was one of the most painful feelings in the world.

Your first dance – with that weird boy from gym class or the family friend that took pity on you because your mom or his mom told them to ask you to dance.

The first person to give you flowers – my mom, I was 16, it was my birthday and no one could have orchestrated it better.

The first one you let get away – probably the best for all involved in that one.

your first kiss – mine had red hair, the whole faculty saw, and oddly enough it was and still is the best kiss I’ve ever had – or at the very least it makes top five.

Your first date – we saw iron man 3, he wore a blue v neck and we finished the night on my porch after having ice cream that he had kept in a cooler in his car (beyond romantic) and he didn’t kiss me that night but part of me wishes he did.

Your first love – I was in the first grade, his name was Logan (like Lerman or Hugh Jackman when he played Wolverine in X-Men) and he wasn’t out of my league by any means but boy did I think he was. None the less it was unrequited and vastly problematic.

Your first car – Kia Sol, Green exterior (yes really), name : Martin the Martian

Your first lover – the one you still think about but wish you didn’t.

Your first home – or apartment but either way you were paying rent for that dinky old place.

Your first job – camp. Duh.

And the list goes on and on because we measure our lives and histories in the memories of doing things for the first time. And because no one gets credit for doing something second.

but there is a pitfall to expecting every first to be great – to grabbing memories from a bag of “firsts” and comparing them to everything else

And it is the pitfall that I personally have a problem with – it’s the idea that we are or are not supposed to experience things based on the number of times it has been done. I mean think about it.

  • birthdays – the FIRST day of that new year, where you are also celebrating the FIRST day you were on earth… because comparatively, conception day is irrelevant, first heartbeat day no one has pictures from and when you finally looked like a gourd in the womb rather than an avocado – well… you get the point.
  • relationships – we remember the first because it had the most impact – but then we still carry it with us through the best relationships, unable to release that point of reference.
  • school – we celebrate first days, but what about every other day you worked and suffered and toiled through to get that first diploma? 

and look i am not saying we need to forget firsts – but we could try forgiving ourselves for all the seconds and thirds we take for granted. 

  • the second bite of cake and the fifteenth you probably shouldn’t have pushed for. 
  • the second day in a row you made it to the gym.
  • the second promotion that lead to your first fire and ultimately got you to your dream job. 
  • the second love – whether it was a person or a passion, the one you forgot after the fourth broke your heart and the fifth who proposed. 

The point of it all is that everything that comes after that first – no matter how much the first taught you – is just as important. And at the end of the day, I will always remember my firsts, my first pet, my first love, my first kiss – but I will also remember that the first wasn’t the thing that made me who I am today, but everything and every day in between was – and that my friends, has made all the difference.

JustRachel

An Ode to The Greatest Showman Soundtrack

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I will confess I am only mildly obsessed with the sweet sound of Hugh Jackman and his iconic band of  “Misfits”. and that the lines


I am not a stranger to the dark
“Hide away,” they say
“‘Cause we don’t want your broken parts”
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
“Run away,” they say
“No one’ll love you as you are”

The Greatest Showman – This is Me

get me every damn time …

I will confess that there is no way people on the original soundtrack – or the remastered one can be that incredibly talented… but I’ve also been caught watching golden buzzer moments from America’s Got Talent, where twelve-year-olds have more talent in one finger than I do in my whole damn body. 

That being said…

Few moments in history hold us to the same effect that music does – for example, I remember listening to Jay-Sean’s “Down” on the bus home from school in seventh grade more than I remember listening to my parents speak at the dinner table. I remember the car I was in and who I was with the first time I heard “Call Me Maybe”, and to this day Paramore’s “Still Into You” and Clean Bandit, “Rather Be” are still the tracks I think of when pulling into the drive of my families cabin – because despite the fact that I have heard millions of songs on the ride up there  since before I was born – those are the songs I remember being able to drive on my own to.

Music no matter how popular in the moment, no matter how fleeting – certain music has the power to bring us back to the exact moment where that one song meant the most to us. 

While my middle school slow dance song will forever be Chris Brown’s “With You”, because I may not have gotten the guy but… great song.

While my junior year of high school would not be complete without “Come and Get It” by Selena Gomez or Taylor Swift”s Red album at cross country practice – and I wouldn’t have survived Dealware’s flattest course without Fighter by Ryan Tedder – I know that my life and those of so many have added the songs from “The Greatest Showman” to their own personal soundtrack

all the shine of a thousand spotlights; all the stars we steal from the night sky will never be enough – will never be enough.


– Never Enough, The Greatest Showman

Few stories have the power to sweep us away – we read books, bad news, good news and watch movies to chase these feelings but for most of us and no pun intended it is “never enough.” and to that I applaud you. I applaud you for not settling – for being brave enough to chase dreams like kids chase ice cream trucks. 

I dare you to be great, to make your show great, and to know what matters both now and forever – because it may never be enough. But with you at the Helm, as the Captain of your ship – I can say for a fact that this life, your life, is your Greatest Show.

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

It isn’t about Looks

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Some hypothesize that attractive people benefit from their looks – and while it would be ignorant to outright declare that wrong – it is also completely wrong to assume that looks grant total liability on your entire life’s successes.

Today one of the most detrimental things to say to a young woman or girl is that she is beautiful. Part of this is because no one wants to be one thing or labeled as simply beautiful. In other words a young woman dares to be intelligent, strong, and beautiful. 

Considering the controversy it is also important to talk about beauty not only as a weakness but as a theoretical strength.  Truth is, as a woman, some assume that looks can give an extra nudge toward landing that ideal position – but that only gets you so far. Women in today’s workforce have to be strong, intelligent, stubborn but not difficult, and powerful to land a job – so while looks may come into play (if they do) the way one carries herself is what determines the roles she will play in business.

Here are three tips to rock an interview and be remembered –

  1. Dress the part – I was in an interview once and my bandeau fell down half way through, my interviewer did not notice (thank heavens) but wearing something that makes you confident and keeps you covered is key.
  2. Walk in with a purpose – know the role you are interviewing for, be confident and most importantly, be yourself. Despite what we are made to think – they are not hiring your resume… they are hiring you!
  3. Ditch the heavy makeup, go more natural – how you look matters but being comfortable and competent doesn’t mean having a face that doesn’t match the rest of your body. trust your skills rather than your looks.

Keeping these tips in mind I have a challenge for all my ladies and even my mans this week. Whether you are working or in school or looking for a job this week – enter everyday with confidence. Walk into class or work or an interview with a smile that lights up the room, embrace bravery rather than beauty and remind yourself how amazing you are. 

At the end of the day, the world may be trying to label us – but we are so much more than what they see on the outside. Act with integrity and be yourself – because beauty may only skin deep but you are much more incredible than that.

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

NaNoWriMo and the Realization Why I Have Never Finished a Book

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At any given time I am both – the most trustworthy person you will ever meet and the one person who can’t keep her mouth shut or her nose out of it. Call it the writer in me – but in other words, I always have a story to tell, and I am always willing to tell it – but at the same time – if you ask me to say nothing, I will. With one exception – my rules of speech follow those of a therapist. I will not say a word – UNLESS you are a harm to yourself or others. [and I find this to be a fair clause]

But, my friends, I do not come to you today because I have a secret to tell – or a story, but rather to say that I have a secret that I cannot tell. A new project that will take up my free time until the month of November has met its end.

This month, like in the past I am participating in National Novel Writing Month or NaNoWriMo for short. In this, I will attempt to finally finish a book or – at the very least- a draft, in 31 days. In other words, I have 31 days to write 50,000 words – and I am only 11,000 in on day 8 – aka – I am already behind…

So at this point, you may be thinking one of three things:

  1. Rachel, why do I care?
  2. Why are you wasting your word count time on this blog (not a waste)
  3. Get to the point

well to #1 I say – if you’re a writer, a reader or a friend, you love me so shut up – #2 it is not a waste because I have some advice to share that will be seen below – and #3 here it is

The other day I got a piece of Nano Mail and while I never read my messages on there, I decided to change habits. To my most pleasant surprise, there was this quote among the advice and it is something that has both intrigued me and shown me that I need to change the way I treat myself, my dreams and my writing. It read :

Resist the urge to tell friends and family your story. I know it’s hard because you want to talk about it and they’re (sometimes) interested in hearing about it. But writers have a dirty little secret: We are mainly motivated by our desire for people to experience our stories. We want an audience. We need it.

Telling your story to friends verbally satisfies that need for an audience, and it diminishes your motivation to actually write it. So make a rule: The only way for anyone to ever hear about your stories is to read them. You can still give it to them chapter by chapter—so you get the sweet, sweet external validation that you crave during the process. But no telling the story outside the pages. – Andy Weir

The above quote has since inspired me to do something I rarely do with my writing, keep my mouth shut.

I realized that in telling people my stories all these years I have eliminated the need to write it down. Which explained why – despite my only goal in life since sophomore year of high school (other than finding the love of my life because media is a sham that has conned me into thinking my life is a rom com) was publishing the next great American novel. Or at the very least – the next great Rachel Novel.

Anyway – I know I lost my flow but to all you writers out there, I hope this helps and I hope you don’t lose your story. Right now I don’t have time to make the blog pretty but I do have a book to write!

We’ve got 23 days left in this year’s challenge so let’s go for the gold!

 

Capturesage
a sneak peek at the front cover to be

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

How to Chase the Future (a slam poem)

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each day my phone reminds me where I was a year ago.

I reminisce –

thinking I was smarter, nicer, prettier, younger “then” –

and for a minute I stop to share these memories.

with myself, my followers, my phone.

and I turn them- my memories – into something of  a show

something to brag and boast about

something and someone I used to be

someone who is now history,

someone who is… dead

dead.

I am not jealous of the dead.

I am not jealous of the lost.

the ones who are stuck in the memories.

the ones who we strive to be better for – because the fact remains that we –

were not good enough “then”

I think about the word “then” like a railroad crossing

the light doesn’t have to blink for me to slow down – I just do it automatically

“then” is like him

it is a one-word memory

it is triggering

it is a shotgun – no ammo – all recoil

it is – lost loves

and past lives

because you can’t hear the word “then” and not think of a memory

so we generalize it.

“then”

a time when freedom meant something to them

“them”

someone other than ourselves

“them”

an enemy labeled he, she, them

labeled

“him”

a friend, a lover, a parent

“her”

the same

“them”

someone we often forget because they were only on our minds back “then”

“then”

you see “then” is a shotgun

no ammo

all recoil

then is the trigger waiting to be pulled

“then”

I don’t envy who I was

but as long as I am stuck looking at “then”

racing toward the past as though I was chasing the future

as long as I am stuck remembering “then”

have I even changed at all?

 

 

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

Together For Good

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We aren’t always lucky enough to find a place that makes us feel at home, that makes us feel passionate about a mission, or that makes us talk about it long after we are meant to be gone – but Merrimack College is that place for so many people.

It came as no surprise to me when I found out that Merrimack’s 50 million dollar – “Together For Good“ fundraiser, had reached its goal a whole year before it was meant to be done. And though it finished early, this doesn’t mean it should be taken lightly. This was no bake sale, no side street lemonade stand, no kids smiling at you while you drive through the neighborhood – it was a community that worked tirelessly to prove that it deserved everything it has earned thus far, and so much more.

In the four years, I was at Merrimack, the school forged me into the person I was today- and let me tell you – it was no walk in the park. It was nights out, breaking the rules, crying over doomed relationships, bawling over failed essays, and jobs that fell short. It was nights spent playing cards, and days sleeping through obligations because my body couldn’t handle the stress myself and others went through the night before on duty as a Resident Advisor. It was easy failures and hard triumphs – and it was experienced that my high school self would have never dared to do – but together, with my friends, my team, my professors, my unlikely friendships with the friars – it was through this community that I survived the most difficult period of my life.

Now I get it, you talk to anyone who went to Penn State and they will tell you “We Are!” with all the pride in the world – and sure they aren’t the only ones. I guess most colleges are meant to have that effect on people… but for some reason, I know that Merrimack is different.

it isnt because I am special, it isnt because the people there are, its because we dared to be different. we dared to be small – to be unnoticed, to build passion like a powder keg until it had no where to go but out. it isnt because of the school, its because the rest of the world underestimated what we could accomplish in such a short amount of time. – but we knew – and here we are.

At the end of the day, you could tell me that this place is like any other, but you would be wrong. The changes I have seen in four years. The triumphs, the losses, the friends we grieved for – that’s what we all take with us.

At the end of the Day, Merrimack is not just a place it is a home – and the progress we have made is only the beginning. Today we stand together, for good – but tomorrow well keep working toward a future that none of us can quite imagine yet.

My name is Rachel, just Rachel, and I for one couldn’t be more proud to be a part of Merrimack’s journey, because man, has it been a part of mine.

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This post is in no way sponsored or represented by Merrimack College or its Affiliates - the perceptions in this piece are not meant to be related to the college or how it conducts itself.

Continue reading Together For Good →

JustRachel, Relationships

To the Boys I Shouldn’t Have Given My Number To

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unknown: Hey beautiful.! What’s Up

me: “I’m sorry who is this?” “I am not trying to be rude”

unknown: “You are beautiful -”

me: “Thank you… who are you?”

unknown: “I’m paul, steve, joe…[insert generic name here]”

We all have those days when an ex or a non-entity texts you and you have no clue in the world who they are. For me, this has happened more than once but last night was the strangest occurrence at all.

Last night, while in class I received a text from an unknown number. A boy claiming we met at a party, but his story didn’t add up.

Now, it was not too hard to make a select number of guesses before realizing that 1. I had met this boy online and not in person. 2. nothing he was trying to sell me was true and 3. it is because of people like this that I realize that I probably shouldn’t have access to a phone two – three out of seven days a week.

See when it comes to giving out my number I tend to say why not – and regret the rest later [ I mean why else would someone invent a block button other than to annul mistakes made? right? ] wrong.

And here are 5 reasons why

  1. boy or girl – it doesn’t matter who is on the other end of the line, if you do not know who he or she is, they haven’t put the work in to be worth your time.
  2. if they start with “hey beautiful” it’s a line – don’t let this society continue to allow it.
  3. if they want a picture – wholesome or otherwise, they will ask for your social media… it’s verified – legitimate and the facts will add up.
  4. if they want you, they will ask for a date
  5. if they don’t want you-you will immediately be able to tell what they do want – then walk away.

Key Takeaways

Learn from my failures

Never give out your number while intoxicated because it truly never ends well.

And by this, I do not mean I have ever been in danger, but it is a general uncomfy feeling that could have been avoided in the first place had I had the ability to meet people the generic way rather than online.

Protect your personal info

and in general – avoid online dating because the longer you keep it online the less and less likely it is to become real – so if they don’t want a date within two weeks, they aren’t worth your time and walking away will be the best thing you can do.

 

 

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

As an Adult I Understand Nothing

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At 22 I knew that clueless was an expectation I had for myself, but I didn’t know it would cost so darn much… and so today, in the hopes of connecting with other people that are clueless I give you… a List!

5 Things I should have been taught before 22 – but had to learn along the way

1. Insurance… it doesn’t cover the whole bill

Last night I opened some mail that I have been neglecting on my bedside table for… well, for too long. The pile consisted of random letters from my car and health insurance, my doctor, and my high school asking for money. Now here is where it gets sad. As someone who works at a company that looks at health care costs every single day, I had no idea that my copay at the doctor’s office would not cover my bill.

So for anyone else out there who didn’t know that – and growing up I doubt many of us do because no class taught me this IMPORTANT LIFE FACT so how was I to know three months later that I owe hundreds of dollars?

2. Balancing a Healthy Lifestyle

Growing up I was under the impression that 21-25 year-olds had tons of energy,

…we don’t. It was a lie. And I still haven’t figured this one out

3. Rent is Negotiable

The first week in my apartment they wanted to jack up the price. When the washer broke they were going to continue to charge us the same. When my package was broken into there was no way to monitor who did it. And when the cleanliness of the building (lack thereof) threatened bugs – nothing would have been done if we hadn’t spoken up for ourselves. And so speak up we did!

4. Know Your Worth

I had no idea what to ask for when it came to money or any form of compensation when I started working – but by doing research and talking to colleagues I figured out what worked for me and my lifestyle.

Like rent, pay is negotiable – but they can’t teach you what you are worth in a classroom so start figuring that out now.

5. How to Cook… well

don’t get me wrong I can cook – and I don’t just mean boil water – but it would have been nice to take a home economics class or something

6.7.8..

the list goes on – the fact of the matter is that these days we aren’t learning to be independent, we aren’t learning to grow up or be adults, and all the money we put in college, yeah it gets us a job but it doesn’t teach us how to be well adjusted stable minded individuals.

Truth is that I have been in the “real world” for a while now, but that doesn’t mean anything if I can’t find the tools to truly understand it.

Today being an adult isn’t fun, even if it is worth it – but it is a learning experience. I guess I just knew what books would better prepare me for the real-life situations the Pythagorean theorem didn’t teach…

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

Dear Social Media Promoters

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Over the years I have been friend requested by people I don’t know, people who compliment me, try to build my trust just to get me to buy into their product lines. And honestly, I am so over it.

The call usually goes “Hey Girl” as if they know me and then they proceed to tell me how I could lose 25 pounds or lengthen my hair or “be more beautiful.” Personally, this irritates me. Now don’t get me wrong I have also had friends reach out and if I had time and the parameters allowed I would certainly help them out, but if I don’t know you – I don’t want you to try to sell me something I have given no indication of needing or being interested in.

And then it gets worse!

Multiple times now – and I firmly believe this is meant to make the salesperson feel better is that they will end the chat by saying “lol okay” or “LMFAO” and this gets me kinda angry – correction it makes me highly angry because now I feel, not like they are shaking it off, but that I am being made a joke of.

Look I think I am right when I say no one wants to be laughed at – but more so this is not a professional practice. If you work in sales you are conditioned to get the sale, but this will not be done by making negative impressions.

In the last few months, I have been approached by five sales people on social media. One was a friend, whom if I wasn’t so swamped at work I would have signed on to her meeting, at least three were on Instagram and the last was on Linked In [this interaction was by far the worst] but what was horrible in four of five of these cases is that while I tried to not pay attention to their unwanted messages a few continued to reach out without my answering, and one whom I just finished talking to briefly ended the chat with “lol”.

Look long story short – how you present yourself on social media matters, how you slide into someones DM’s matters – and most of the time it should not be done – but in all cases it should be respectful and personally I think that is something that is severely lacking in the Instagram beauty industry as well as the beauty industry as a whole.

At the end of the day I may not be perfect – but what I put into my body is my choice and if I wanted to try a 90 day trial of anything – I’d reach out, but for now, I am perfectly and happily content with just being me.