Tag Archives: change

Going Home

I went home to where it all began

Where i grew up, once nothing more than a kid

Once belonged with a group of kids who accidentally became adults

The joys of growing old and sadness of changes in the wind

We saw the plans for the walls to change over time and wanted to believe they build a gate to let us in

Yet i have come home and everything has changed, the locks are different and the lights are on

The people no longer welcome me to their tables

Conversations seem like i am trying to keep them hostage

No longer am i a made man, no longer a person but a feral animal

i am a legend of the halls, a bronze statue of not so long ago

Sometimes when i see those who i have raised, they raze me

Thrown away like the newspaper but hey, at least i get to go in the recycle .

This home no longer feels like it was ever mine, only a pocket full of time and memories that seem to have slipped through a hole in my jeans

As i leave i can hear the gates closing before i am even out of range

Guess coming home was my going away party

Too bad i never got the invite in the mail

An Ode to The Greatest Showman Soundtrack

I will confess I am only mildly obsessed with the sweet sound of Hugh Jackman and his iconic band of  “Misfits”. and that the lines

I am not a stranger to the dark
“Hide away,” they say
“‘Cause we don’t want your broken parts”
I’ve learned to be ashamed of all my scars
“Run away,” they say
“No one’ll love you as you are”

The Greatest Showman – This is Me

get me every damn time …

I will confess that there is no way people on the original soundtrack – or the remastered one can be that incredibly talented… but I’ve also been caught watching golden buzzer moments from America’s Got Talent, where twelve-year-olds have more talent in one finger than I do in my whole damn body. 

That being said…

Few moments in history hold us to the same effect that music does – for example, I remember listening to Jay-Sean’s “Down” on the bus home from school in seventh grade more than I remember listening to my parents speak at the dinner table. I remember the car I was in and who I was with the first time I heard “Call Me Maybe”, and to this day Paramore’s “Still Into You” and Clean Bandit, “Rather Be” are still the tracks I think of when pulling into the drive of my families cabin – because despite the fact that I have heard millions of songs on the ride up there  since before I was born – those are the songs I remember being able to drive on my own to.

Music no matter how popular in the moment, no matter how fleeting – certain music has the power to bring us back to the exact moment where that one song meant the most to us. 

While my middle school slow dance song will forever be Chris Brown’s “With You”, because I may not have gotten the guy but… great song.

While my junior year of high school would not be complete without “Come and Get It” by Selena Gomez or Taylor Swift”s Red album at cross country practice – and I wouldn’t have survived Dealware’s flattest course without Fighter by Ryan Tedder – I know that my life and those of so many have added the songs from “The Greatest Showman” to their own personal soundtrack

all the shine of a thousand spotlights; all the stars we steal from the night sky will never be enough – will never be enough.

– Never Enough, The Greatest Showman

Few stories have the power to sweep us away – we read books, bad news, good news and watch movies to chase these feelings but for most of us and no pun intended it is “never enough.” and to that I applaud you. I applaud you for not settling – for being brave enough to chase dreams like kids chase ice cream trucks. 

I dare you to be great, to make your show great, and to know what matters both now and forever – because it may never be enough. But with you at the Helm, as the Captain of your ship – I can say for a fact that this life, your life, is your Greatest Show.

Another Day, Another Bullet

It happened again,

Another shooting.

Why does his happen every time, to people who don’t deserve it?

The families that now have to bury young men and women, and an officer who lived up to the code of the badge and gave everything. It pains too many people too often to see this happen again, again and again. We wont see any change anyways, we know the cycle all too well. Shock, mourn, argue, #neverforget, forget, mass shooting, repeat. It’s like a broken repeat button on God’s iPhone and He forgot the pass code to turn it off. Even after the recent elections, i still wonder if we will have any real change from anyone that is suppose to serve us. Not the gun organizations.

If you were like me, the news doesn’t phase you as easily as it use to. I don’t find sadness in the shock or grief in the first-hand accounts. “Oh well wasn’t me” is the casual mindset we have today, its a set in stone ideal that has become known as the common practice like its a religion or something. It needs to stop now. The lesson that we are taught needs to be refused and a change has to be made.

As young Americans, we walk around in fear of what could happen to us. We are no longer safe in theaters, malls, bars, for crying out loud we aren’t even safe in a school. A SCHOOL!! But this is the norm? this is the narrative we want to live with? Why can we not practice safety and sanity once in a while, i am telling you change is not always bad. We need to be protecting our youth, ourselves, and everyone around us.

Now i like to say this is not a total anti-gun rant.

My opinion, in general, is very grey area, middle of the road thoughts. I believe we the average american do not need assault rifles, automatic weapons, or anything that is crazy above the norm. However, i believe that people deserve the opportunity to posses a handgun, something within reason. I know there are good people who take the consistent safety class, hours of classroom and range work, and they understand that although a right, it is not something that should be put above the lives of others.  Its the people that put guns above lives that need to be changed. My opinion is not popular, on either side, and ill probably get some strong worded calls and texts after reading this, but its what i believe and isn’t it fair to let me make my peace in this crazy world?

In the end, this blog that me and all of my fellow writers try to write about and express our opinions is about adulting and being very, very awkward about it. But what rulebook change or memo did we miss that adulting had to include mass shootings and fearing to leave our homes just because someone couldn’t put a life above a gun?

What i ask of those reading this, is do something to change this crazy dilemma, be the deciding factor. Get involved to make a good change not just change because you can. Make it change that helps that is good and just. Just stop sitting by the wayside waiting for it to happen.


I don’t have any more words to write for you today, no more thoughts,

but maybe you have some actions for me?



Changing of Seasons

sea waves crashing on rocks
Photo by Fox on Pexels.com

September  is approaching us and the time for barbecuing, late nights, and evening cocktails will soon come to a close. Before you know, it you’ll be searching for Pumpkins in a patch with your children and crying because all you really want is a cocktail on the beach away from the madness. Shouldn’t the children be in school during the summer so parents can have their vacation?

But all joking aside…. this is the time to start planning the last bit of events before the season ends! Time for enjoying the crisp summer air, ice cream,delicious foods, and lots of memories. I will never forget trips to the beach, each one is always a relaxing way to rejuvenate ourselves and cleanse the soul of all our baggage.

I enjoy putting my toes in the wet sand and walk along the shoreline as I just reflect and think about all the events in my life. While I do this, I focus on my breathing. I try to envision the life that I am trying to create for myself and how I can help myself and others reach my ultimate destination. Sometimes it just takes time and as impatient as I can be, I have to learn to relax and the beach is the perfect place to do this.



Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com