I like to think that when someone is struggling, many would jump at the chance to step up and help them out. We feel like a hero, a great savior to the issue. Whenever in the future someone would need you, their first choice is yo without a doubt. This is what you would dream about.
It doesn’t always happen like this
Some will just be to far gone for you to do anything that can make a change noticeable, at least noticeable to you.
You should not feel as if the world is on your shoulders to play doctor, marriage counselor, or adviser to people who are in trouble or are suffering from something or someone. No one is Atlas, you can’t keep the sky from crashing into the world. The weight will push you into the ground, no matter how strong your stance is to hold the world up, and put you into the same position as those you are trying to help. Nullifying the rhyme and reason of your efforts. Its one of the hardest things to do, realizing you cant help everyone, but its a fact of life that needs to be taught. Even to those with the biggest hearts.
I never like letting people down, never have never will.
What i had to learn the hard way is that you really cant help everyone. It is just too high of a bar to reach. By trying to help everyone you give up so much of yourself that sometimes cant be recognizable. I remember looking into the mirror one morning and i look at a shell of a man that i once was. My hair was falling out, i looked like i gain 40 years and i wasn’t myself. What was i becoming? i was becoming drained of what i loved to do and it soon didn’t interest me, being the one that reaches out to help, anymore. I realized that my stance wasn’t strong, my arms began to fault me, and i could hold the weight of the world on my shoulders anymore. It began to hurt everything.
The realization of not being able to help everyone sucks. There will be times where you will have to be forced to watch your friends suffer. That’s ok, that is what this world is about. Its what you do after o help them recover. This is not a story of giving up, its a story of how not to give in. Of course you should still reach out to help someone, of course you can play counselor, whats not ok is to go in it alone. You need back up, you need people who will pick you up when your stance fails you and your arms begin to become tired, and someone to help carry parts of the world on your shoulders with you. We get good people in this world who has your back, you might as well help them carry your load. In turn when they need help with their stance, their arms; you’ll be there to help carry part of their world off their shoulders.
We aren’t always lucky enough to find a place that makes us feel at home, that makes us feel passionate about a mission, or that makes us talk about it long after we are meant to be gone – but Merrimack College is that place for so many people.
It came as no surprise to me when I found out that Merrimack’s 50 million dollar –“Together For Good“ fundraiser, had reached its goal a whole year before it was meant to be done. And though it finished early, this doesn’t mean it should be taken lightly. This was no bake sale, no side street lemonade stand, no kids smiling at you while you drive through the neighborhood – it was a community that worked tirelessly to prove that it deserved everything it has earned thus far, and so much more.
In the four years, I was at Merrimack, the school forged me into the person I was today- and let me tell you – it was no walk in the park. It was nights out, breaking the rules, crying over doomed relationships, bawling over failed essays, and jobs that fell short. It was nights spent playing cards, and days sleeping through obligations because my body couldn’t handle the stress myself and others went through the night before on duty as a Resident Advisor. It was easy failures and hard triumphs – and it was experienced that my high school self would have never dared to do – but together, with my friends, my team, my professors, my unlikely friendships with the friars – it was through this community that I survived the most difficult period of my life.
Now I get it, you talk to anyone who went to Penn State and they will tell you “We Are!” with all the pride in the world – and sure they aren’t the only ones. I guess most colleges are meant to have that effect on people… but for some reason, I know that Merrimack is different.
it isnt because I am special, it isnt because the people there are, its because we dared to be different. we dared to be small – to be unnoticed, to build passion like a powder keg until it had no where to go but out. it isnt because of the school, its because the rest of the world underestimated what we could accomplish in such a short amount of time. – but we knew – and here we are.
At the end of the day, you could tell me that this place is like any other, but you would be wrong. The changes I have seen in four years. The triumphs, the losses, the friends we grieved for – that’s what we all take with us.
At the end of the Day, Merrimack is not just a place it is a home – and the progress we have made is only the beginning. Today we stand together, for good – but tomorrow well keep working toward a future that none of us can quite imagine yet.
My name is Rachel, just Rachel, and I for one couldn’t be more proud to be a part of Merrimack’s journey, because man, has it been a part of mine.
This post is in no way sponsored or represented by Merrimack College or its Affiliates - the perceptions in this piece are not meant to be related to the college or how it conducts itself.
me: “I’m sorry who is this?” “I am not trying to be rude”
unknown: “You are beautiful -”
me: “Thank you… who are you?”
unknown: “I’m paul, steve, joe…[insert generic name here]”
We all have those days when an ex or a non-entity texts you and you have no clue in the world who they are. For me, this has happened more than once but last night was the strangest occurrence at all.
Last night, while in class I received a text from an unknown number. A boy claiming we met at a party, but his story didn’t add up.
Now, it was not too hard to make a select number of guesses before realizing that 1. I had met this boy online and not in person. 2. nothing he was trying to sell me was true and 3. it is because of people like this that I realize that I probably shouldn’t have access to a phone two – three out of seven days a week.
See when it comes to giving out my number I tend to say why not – and regret the rest later [ I mean why else would someone invent a block button other than to annul mistakes made? right? ] wrong.
And here are 5 reasons why
boy or girl – it doesn’t matter who is on the other end of the line, if you do not know who he or she is, they haven’t put the work in to be worth your time.
if they start with “hey beautiful” it’s a line – don’t let this society continue to allow it.
if they want a picture – wholesome or otherwise, they will ask for your social media… it’s verified – legitimate and the facts will add up.
if they want you, they will ask for a date
if they don’t want you-you will immediately be able to tell what they do want – then walk away.
Key Takeaways
Learn from my failures
Never give out your number while intoxicated because it truly never ends well.
And by this, I do not mean I have ever been in danger, but it is a general uncomfy feeling that could have been avoided in the first place had I had the ability to meet people the generic way rather than online.
Protect your personal info
and in general – avoid online dating because the longer you keep it online the less and less likely it is to become real – so if they don’t want a date within two weeks, they aren’t worth your time and walking away will be the best thing you can do.
As i write this it is the Eve of Homecoming at Merrimack College and many are excited to come home to a college where they grew up and became who they are today, i like you to imagine what alumni must let run through their minds when they see all the changes that have occurred over the years. This goes from the oldest returning members to the class of 2018.
Everything has changed.
What bothers me as many alumni will probably attest to is the feeling of uncertainty when they return. Do people miss me? Is my legacy in tact? Was i a good person in my times here? We wonder what we have left behind after graduation and we hope they have survived in a time capsule like state for us to relish once more. We want what was ours back but we know its someone else’s now.
The clubs you may have created, the ideas that were spoken for change, the actions you may have done, they are no longer yours anymore. Someone else has taken up the mantle and seized an opportunity that you have created. It wasn’t like this was going to be a surprise, some even picked who would take over. What the issue is; you have become obsolete in a way. Your ways have made way for new methods and ideologies and it seems you have nothing left to give.
But here is where it gets good
You were the trailblazer for what is now there for others. Your excitement, your passion, your ideas; it created what they have today. You were the risk taker when you asked to improve your fundraiser methods, you were the one that started the breaking of mental health stigmas, you were the one that got a entire school on their feet for a national title. You did so much for this place and it may feel like your memory has faded.
That’s not true.
Everything they do, your efforts are recognized again and again. So i guess Homecoming is basically one big encore/ second bow. So take that bow and enjoy a weekend where you’re a young student once again.
This place may or may not be your home yet, but for the past few months, you have evolved far more than the mirror can show. You have grown into a person, a warrior, and a survivor. You have earned grades, got scrapes, bruises and burns. You’ve been to heaven and hell with people you feel like you have known your entire lives, but believe me when I tell you-you have not experienced anything yet.
For those of us coming home – from our new home away from home, you know what it’s like. You know how it feels to leave a place that is so much a part of your identity and know what is like to not give two flying **** about an incoming noreaster because nothing can stop you from coming home to the place you belong.
To the class of 2022 this is your first homecoming, but don’t think that it is only about the drinks, the food, the football, and seeing your mom drunker than your weird uncle. This weekend is about the ones who, like you, learned how much a place can impact the course of your life. And while you don’t know what I truly mean yet… I cannot wait until the day that you do.
At 22 I knew that clueless was an expectation I had for myself, but I didn’t know it would cost so darn much… and so today, in the hopes of connecting with other people that are clueless I give you… a List!
5 Things I should have been taught before 22 – but had to learn along the way
1. Insurance… it doesn’t cover the whole bill
Last night I opened some mail that I have been neglecting on my bedside table for… well, for too long. The pile consisted of random letters from my car and health insurance, my doctor, and my high school asking for money. Now here is where it gets sad. As someone who works at a company that looks at health care costs every single day, I had no idea that my copay at the doctor’s office would not cover my bill.
So for anyone else out there who didn’t know that – and growing up I doubt many of us do because no class taught me this IMPORTANT LIFE FACT so how was I to know three months later that I owe hundreds of dollars?
2. Balancing a Healthy Lifestyle
Growing up I was under the impression that 21-25 year-olds had tons of energy,
…we don’t. It was a lie. And I still haven’t figured this one out
3. Rent is Negotiable
The first week in my apartment they wanted to jack up the price. When the washer broke they were going to continue to charge us the same. When my package was broken into there was no way to monitor who did it. And when the cleanliness of the building (lack thereof) threatened bugs – nothing would have been done if we hadn’t spoken up for ourselves. And so speak up we did!
4. Know Your Worth
I had no idea what to ask for when it came to money or any form of compensation when I started working – but by doing research and talking to colleagues I figured out what worked for me and my lifestyle.
Like rent, pay is negotiable – but they can’t teach you what you are worth in a classroom so start figuring that out now.
5. How to Cook… well
don’t get me wrong I can cook – and I don’t just mean boil water – but it would have been nice to take a home economics class or something
6.7.8..
the list goes on – the fact of the matter is that these days we aren’t learning to be independent, we aren’t learning to grow up or be adults, and all the money we put in college, yeah it gets us a job but it doesn’t teach us how to be well adjusted stable minded individuals.
Truth is that I have been in the “real world” for a while now, but that doesn’t mean anything if I can’t find the tools to truly understand it.
Today being an adult isn’t fun, even if it is worth it – but it is a learning experience. I guess I just knew what books would better prepare me for the real-life situations the Pythagorean theorem didn’t teach…
Into adulthood, almost 22 years into life, I’ve learned many things.
I’ve learned how to walk, and talk, and write letters.
I’ve learned how to make those letters into words and those words into sentences that sometimes make sense.
I’ve learned (miraculously) how to let the little things go and live life like a wave (and have always had a love for alliteration).
I have taught myself the virtue of patience, and 8-hour bladder control (thanks to teaching the young children), and how to carry things on my head for all of 7 seconds.
But of everything I have learned, the most important take away, I think, is to never stop learning.
About math, science, geography, and the people around you. They often have the best stories, and the best knowledge.
I am fortunate to have been able to immerse myself abroad, in a new country, town, culture, and standard of living. I am far from an expert on these countries, and far from truly understanding what life is like there, since I was just an ‘obroni’ traveler volunteering my time for but a couple of months.
What I do know, though, is that what I learned from the people I met there will forever exceed anything I have learned, and will ever learn, in school.
People are your best resources.
If someone is around you, that means they somehow, someway, ended up in the same space.
You all ended up in the same place at the same time, and are likely now doing similar things.
And while you ended up together at this moment, your paths leading up to now were so, so different.
You grew up in different households, towns, states, countries.
You have a different set of relatives living in your home and different relationships with those people; you may even speak a different language with them than you do at work.
Maybe the person sitting next to you speaks 3 different languages, with English being their second or third.
Maybe you are the one with a rich background – the one with a story to tell.
Or maybe the girl down the hall has family members in the country you’re travelling to on your next vacation and can give you the inside scoop.
What if the boy you sit across from grew up learning math using a different method, and can help you solve the problem you’ve been stuck on for hours?
How do you know the woman who just got promoted didn’t grow up bouncing from foster home to foster home, until she was able to pay for school and work her ass off to get to where she is now?
All of you have had life experiences that lead here, yes.
But those experiences have also taught you differently than the person sitting next you, and has shaped your mind in a unique way.
I think that is the most beautiful thing about humans: we are so incredibly unique; we have such an amazing mind filled with memories and choices and viewpoints that allow us to see the world through a new set of glasses.
We have had a different set of family, friends, mentors, and way of living.
Different resources and standards of living and values that have shaped the way we live on this planet.
So talk to the people around you.
Wear their glasses for a while.
Can you imagine if we could see through everyone’s glasses all the time?
I would want that would be my superpower: to be able to communicate with everyone on this planet, so I can learn about how they perceive everything around them.
I think that’s way more fun than walking a mile in their shoes.
You may just learn something about yourself you didn’t realize before.
You think your best friends are the ones from your freshmen floor, first year seminar class, or even your dinning hall crew. In the course of four years, your first friends fade away from your college social circle and you see them walking through the halls or the random parties you attend during the years. In those times you feel like nothing changes but yet the actions are in motion and you lose the friends you thought you would have post grad.
I can speak from experience that i very rarely see people from my first year floor. Its not the fact that we argued or did anything wrong, we just drifted apart. It was not like i stopped talking with them, they always gave me the time of day. Its was the fact that some left, some ignore us and and others just changed; its a fact of life that change was due. I made different friends over my three years but i think one of the most memorable one i made was in senior year
.
Chris here is your shout out!
I met Chris in May of 2016 during our time volunteering for graduation at Merrimack College. I knew of him based on stories told to me and the brief time i knew him in the Love Your Mellon crew before he went abroad for the spring semester of junior year. When i met him in that May i knew a lot about him while he had no idea who i was. Funny, because when i saw him in June for orientation i had no idea what his name was and he remembered everything.
Great start right?
What developed over time was a genuine friendship that transformed into a brother type relationship. We would spend countless hours sending texts with really stupid photos to each other or we call late at night to ask what the fuck is going on in our lives after not speaking for like two weeks at a time. Yeah one of those types, the ones no one teaches you. The ones they say are mythical at times. We have been there for everything, the highs and lows and all the crazy shit that happened in senior year, stuff we would only tell in person (Hint; one involves a shoe). You cant find this anywhere else.
I like to think senior year friends/ relationships are some of the best you can have because you don’t have anything to prove anymore. The first two years of college you are reinventing yourself to fit a new mold that is being made by your experiences. By junior year the mold is solidifying and who you are and your reputation is basically set in stone. So when Senior year rolls around you know who you mesh with and who you don’t. In my case and a lot of other cases, we found someone that gets how we roll with things in life. Its the kind of bond you wanted all those years ago when you were basically a nobody looking to fit in. The bond you find as most authentic ones are indescribable to just anyone but you find a way to explain it in the end. The best things are the ones that take the longest to find in my opinion. Maybe it is the collapse of your time within the hallowed walls of college, but i feel as if you are not concerned of the little stuff as well.
You don’t worry about the schedules or activities, if anything you share in their passions and become a part of what they love.
Basically to those in senior year, the best is truly yet to come. What transpires your senior year really sets the pace for your post graduate experience. If you find someone that you never talked with until senior year and you really mesh well and creates a great aurora between you two, hold tight to that. Explore that a little further and take all the time you can to really get to know them. They will be the ones you seek out in the what can only be described as the best of times and even the worst of times.
Even after all this time and all this searching, they were there all along
Lately, I have had some days. Vague, I know, but the truth is, I can’t label them good days or bad days, they’re just… days.
See I am a firm believer in the saying “it’s a great day to have a day.” and I can’t claim credit because I got it from a teammate, but it stuck and now is as good a time as ever to ‘have a day’.
I guess the best way to spell out how I have been, is to look at a Twenty-One Pilots album. I’ve gone through phases this week of feeling “stressed out”, feeling like a “blurry face” in a crowd – the only difference being that I most definitely do care what people think. I’ve been detached, slightly withdrawn, and it isn’t a new feeling but it persists on – taunting me and distracting me at work ever so often.
Maybe this feeling of just having a day is part of growing up. Maybe it is a byproduct of seasonal affective or as I like to label it, “seasonal defective disorder,” maybe being stuck or lost, or maybe having a day is just a part of being an adult.
But sometimes it worries me and sometimes I doubt myself because of the labels I have been given…And I guess the best way to explain that train of thought is to share something my friend kinda said this week… which was different but could arguably go along with “I hate the term mental illness” and I do, I hate the term mentally ill because when I think of illnesses – I imagine cures – but for most of the population, whether we admit to it or not, the “illness” going on, the “illness” attacking our brains isn’t something we can cure – it’s only something we can manage and like a good or bad day we just all manage to get through, but what if we don’t just want to get by?
And personally, I don’t just want to get by I want to have a DAY, not a bad day, or an insecure day, not even a lower case day, I wanna have A DAY. and maybe something will stop me maybe it won’t but I guess I am just sick of floating by this week. I am sick of being a blurry faced, stressed out, adulting wannabe and I am certainly sick of not feeling like me,
so today. today I am going to have a DAY, a full uppercase DAY because it is a great day to have a day, and I’m done trying to turn back time to something easier because what I have now… it isn’t perfect, but its a day. AND IT IS ALWAYS A GREAT DAY TO HAVE A DAY.
They are the team that gets you up in the morning.
This team will take you on a wild ride, through the dog days of summer and into the fall classic. Then just as you are about comfortable with the team, they break your heart.
They are the heart breakers those Boston Red Sox, but it is a pain that we fans put up with every year.
I am part of the lucky generation, the generation where i only had to endure 10 of the 86 year “Curse of the Bambino” and had the 2003 season to cry over.
Yes, there is crying in baseball.
What the Sox mean to us is more than any other sports team in the world has, its the ability to define the odds and break the odds in 2. Like the American spirit, we may get things thrown at us and our odds dwindle, but we find a way some how to keep moving on. Its in our blood. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for heartbreak
Growing up in part of the heart of Boston, you grow up a Red Sox fan.
Period. End of Story.
Unless of course your parents grew up somewhere else and you fall into their fandom. As a kid, you dream of going to the Red Sox games, just walking up the tunnel your first time is something to behold. I can remember the first time my father took me to a baseball game. The smell of the stands, the crackerjacks, the loud sounds of the bat hitting the ball, its just a magical timeless act. You dream of catching a foul ball and you just take everything in. Every little thing about the Sox can affect your life, Especially after a heart breaking trade (looking at you Nomar).
As you get older, you analyze the game more and your favorite player changes over time and you become truly anointed into Red Sox Nation. The in depth Podcast (Section 10 in the Building!) and the old time classic players transitioning to the analysis broadcast teams, you really start to look at the small details, the averages, the on base percentage, the nitty gritty stats. You become more aware and go in-depth and engulfed in the game and it stings even more when you have to wait for opening day the next year no matter the result. We even skip work or pull our kids out of school for a day just to see a game in the brisk spring days. Honestly, Boston and all of New England should have opening day off, or at least a half day.
What the Sox can mean is a lot more than just a baseball team.
The Red Sox have been a centralized landmark in Boston’s culture for over 100 years. When we have personal tragedy, triumph, or rough days at work, the Red Sox are always a way we can connect generations and bring back good times and fond memories.The games and the team have always been a staple even in Boston’s darkest hour. During the recovery after the Boston Marathon Bombings, the team became a sign of hope and healing. From the Boston Strong Motto that we still use, to the honoring of the first respondents. Even Big Papi’s speech was healing. In Boston’s cathedral of Fenway Park, we came together to find some sort of regularity, something we as a city could find that could relieve the horrors of the times and get a smile on our bleak faces. The season led to the top, culminating in the world series being won at Fenway for the first time in 95 years. Indescribable.
The Sox are Boston’s baby boys, the talking points (either good or bad talk), the toast of the town.
We love them, because they are us. They are the working men and women of America just in a different uniform. They represent what we hold dear in our values and our hard work and determination. Even if they get knocked down and banged around, they still get up on their feet and keep moving forward.
Now, on the cusp of the 2018 ALCS win we have a chance once again to take the crown, and look forward to another title in Title-town USA. Don’t expect we will act like we have been here before; I still think all of Boston will be on the edge of their seats, screaming at the TV and saying their Hail Mary’s, even with experience under our belts and even going into the World Series with one of the best teams assembled since 2013, there will always be a nervous overtone to Red Sox Nation.
Its just the reminisce of a lost curse that stung for too long.
Awkward n' Adulting 
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