Just Post Grad Things, Kevin at a Desk

Get Up and Get Out

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Have you ever had a real adventure?

The type that you get to experience a new thing or see a different way of life? It is exhilarating when you get to travel especially in your 20’s. You don’t have a lot that ties you down or keeps you from the adventures of the world, except one major thing…

We don’t have a lot of Money to our name.

WE are scrapping for every penny that comes our way to pay debt off or to just keep our heads afloat in a broken market. Its difficult to take the time for us to explore and get to experience new cultures and new things on a budget. What i think is that you need to take time for yourself and be free of work, however you don’t need to go that far abroad to experience something new. I think its time we explore our own country before we get our passports and start practicing our really bad Italian.

The United States has so much to offer and you don’t even need a big budget to explore the states. You honestly need a car, a few good friends and a little bit of time (Both to travel and time off from work). In my life i have been able to explore the entire Eastern seaboard and the Gulf Coast all by driving with family. We were able to experience the southern cuisine, the nightlife, the experience of not freezing in the winter (Thanks Louisiana) and basically getting me out of my comfort zone very early on in life. I know there are numerous other places in the United States i want to go to, like the Midwest to go see pond Hockey, or the southwest to see the Grand Canyon, or even more of California to catch the legendary Rose Bowl game (and maybe even the rose bowl parade). The point is there are so many different states we can venture to without even leaving the states.

However, i think going abroad young is still unique because there is some certain excitement traveling abroad by yourself for the first time.

If you are looking for a different point of view, going abroad is your answer, it is just in my opinion that you should rethink where you go o. Go somewhere where not every 20 something goes like Ireland and Italy (or at least go for a different reason than to be a drunk American abroad)be different and avoid the tourist traps. Go some where in Europe like Germany or Poland, Finland, Iceland, etc somewhere it is uncommon to travel to, somewhere that you don’t hear traditional american tourist like to huddle around. I hope to, in the near future, to go over to Europe and go into the northern parts like Norway and Sweden, i think that’s the right way around for a guy like me. However, i still think you should go to places like Ireland and Italy, just not for the reason of getting hammered. Learn the culture the history the reason they are who they are today. Especially if you descend from the countries, make it a heritage walk and learn from your families past.

All in all you don’t need to spend money to make a good vacation or time away you can enjoy it close to home.

Just make the effort to get up and get out

Just Post Grad Things, The Global Citizen

The Future and The Global Citizen

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It is not just my opinion but my firm belief that everyone should have a chance to travel. Sadly this is not the case.

I think there is a certainty to experiencing the world – not just beyond your backyard but in it as well. When it comes to seeing this world, explorations begin at home. They begin with you going out the back, front or side door and smelling something you have never smelled (within reason – obviously don’t smell your neighbors or what have you) or stepped on a patch of grass you haven’t stepped on before.

While I will admit that most of my greatest adventures happened abroad, some of the most memorable happened here, at home, or where ever home was at the time.

This includes, cross country runs with friends – exploring waterfalls or streams – and getting my moms car stuck in a road where I was definitely not supposed to be because I was looking for a space that made me feel connected to anything other than my head.

See for me being globally aware starts at home, it starts by serving others, it starts by getting out of your own way and learning something new because America may think it is the best country in the world but our record incarceration, murder rates and low levels of intelligence compared to competitors in Europe prove that we need to make a change.

Change starts when you travel, it starts when you listen to news on your morning commute, and saying yes to a colleagues presentation. Change starts when our world gets bigger, and when we become global citizens.

At the end of the day, you don’t need to see the world to be a global citizen, but you do have to experience it. You have to speak to people, read stories, share histories and be dedicated to living in and beyond your backyard.

It is not just my opinion but my firm belief that everyone should have a chance to travel. Sadly this is not the case – but my hope is that one day we will all find ourselves beyond the place were in, and if we have learned something new along the way, or met someone new in the process, well then I think we can all make this world a little bigger and a little brighter.

 

Just Post Grad Things, JustRachel

Dear Social Media Promoters

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Over the years I have been friend requested by people I don’t know, people who compliment me, try to build my trust just to get me to buy into their product lines. And honestly, I am so over it.

The call usually goes “Hey Girl” as if they know me and then they proceed to tell me how I could lose 25 pounds or lengthen my hair or “be more beautiful.” Personally, this irritates me. Now don’t get me wrong I have also had friends reach out and if I had time and the parameters allowed I would certainly help them out, but if I don’t know you – I don’t want you to try to sell me something I have given no indication of needing or being interested in.

And then it gets worse!

Multiple times now – and I firmly believe this is meant to make the salesperson feel better is that they will end the chat by saying “lol okay” or “LMFAO” and this gets me kinda angry – correction it makes me highly angry because now I feel, not like they are shaking it off, but that I am being made a joke of.

Look I think I am right when I say no one wants to be laughed at – but more so this is not a professional practice. If you work in sales you are conditioned to get the sale, but this will not be done by making negative impressions.

In the last few months, I have been approached by five sales people on social media. One was a friend, whom if I wasn’t so swamped at work I would have signed on to her meeting, at least three were on Instagram and the last was on Linked In [this interaction was by far the worst] but what was horrible in four of five of these cases is that while I tried to not pay attention to their unwanted messages a few continued to reach out without my answering, and one whom I just finished talking to briefly ended the chat with “lol”.

Look long story short – how you present yourself on social media matters, how you slide into someones DM’s matters – and most of the time it should not be done – but in all cases it should be respectful and personally I think that is something that is severely lacking in the Instagram beauty industry as well as the beauty industry as a whole.

At the end of the day I may not be perfect – but what I put into my body is my choice and if I wanted to try a 90 day trial of anything – I’d reach out, but for now, I am perfectly and happily content with just being me.

Kevin at a Desk

Golden Days

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For these golden days, in old fashion

The winds are blowing again

It’s rattling the leaves, shaking them free of their rooted shackles

Falling ever so graciously to the frosted ground that will soon be frozen in time.

They lay there and are sentenced to the end.

As a child i have always wondered why the colors were so vibrant

Such a True Red always caught my eye and never let me look away,

Never letting me go through

Now that the cycle begins again,

The beauty of looking into the day with colors so vibrant makes a work life dole bearable.

The world is windy now a days, gone is the satisfying breeze.

The days are full of cold rain delays and phases of haze

The colors are not vibrant today

I can not see my reds, golds, and the rare orange.

But i still hold out hope to see the winds change sooner than never

I hear others are starting to notice they can’t see the leaves now

I wonder if they ever saw them as i did, or is this their first time noticing their faceless beauty?

The other day i noticed something,

A warmer breeze rushed over the land, clearing the haze

I was taken aback from this and started to shout to the others to come see,

but they said it was too cold and the haze was not gone

I sense the winds are changing, i have seen it coming 

Seems like warmer breezes lay upon the horizon for some

while others shall need a jacket.

Kevin at a Desk

I am a Cynic

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 cyn·i·cal 

  1. believing that people are motivated by self-interest; distrustful of human sincerity or integrity.

I got called a cynic in my college freshman year theology class by oddly enough one of my favorite professors ever. “Mr. Gill, the cynic” he said to the class. I like the ring to that, but i really did not think that i was a cynic and until in recent years it has grown on me because well;

I agree with it.

I am a proud cynic because i have lost faith.  I lost faith in people when it became apparent to me that motives beat out mankind’s desire to help thy neighbor. We put our own gains above the needs that are mattering the most in this world. I am just sick of it and i doubt what can be true or what can be used for gain. It seems like nothing i true an even tho you are my comrade, i think your motives will promote you and damage me. The other aspect of being a cynic is we keep the world honest. WE do not take the world at face value, we want evidence, we want all the things that can make something worth it so we can be the judge of it. Sometime things can get passed off too quickly because they look good and not realistic. That is not how this works, that’s not how any of this works. You have to be realistic and not give the people bs.

I guess you can say its a bad way to look at humanity and its similar to looking through dirty glasses, the picture isn’t all that clear. You can say the fact that i need to look on the brighter side of life or i need to get a attitude change. Maybe that’s a valid point or maybe you are not seeing what i am saying.

I do not look for the bad in people, i just believe 9/10 they do selfish things. I feel as if they do not want to mutually succeed with the rest of humanity. Like how hard is it to be honest and sincere to each other? If we were better at this i don’t think i would be so cynical of this world. I don’t see enough of the selfless acts and i understand that not all is seen, but why do we hide these acts? Why not do something nice in the open so all can see. You don’t need a medal or a key to the city in thanks, but we can start to express gratitude in simplistic ways. I am a cynic because i have seen people who say they would do anything for someone but when i ask for help i get sent through the metaphorical wringer to get a sliver of what i gave earlier. I don’t stand the fakers. My opinion will not be lenient people suck. I am not perfect, i will be first to call my imperfections out but calling yourself a saint does not cleanse you of the sin. You cant say things and let down on your word. Its all you have in this world.

To say the least, i am the happiest man when i get proven wrong. Its what we want to be, is proven wrong. I love to be proven wrong by something that upstages my cynicism about people. “Did that person really return that money? they did, wow.” Something along the lines of that is great or when we get a upstanding politician in the world for a change. (Thanks Norm). When you can prove a cynic wrong, i like to think you corrupt our perception of the world. Which in this case is a good thing. I think it should be a thing to actively try and corrupt cynics. It makes the world a little better. We are the ones who have lost faith, lost trust in sincerity, and it should be society who brings us back into a different mindset. Until that happens, ill sit in my rocking chair and just try to trust again but ill enjoy my cup cynicism in the morning because its what taste best to me.

Just Post Grad Things

Done With Politics

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A part of me has never been good at articulating what is actually on my mind. I tend to turn to blame, anger, fear, and all the other nasty emotions we, humans, tend to get wrapped in – so I guess what I want to clear up before I start is that this post isn’t really about politics – its about me being done with how much hate I have seen lately and that I just want to do what I can to change the conversation. So while this is going to start a little rough – just keep with it, I promise to make it worth it…

-R

Done with Hate

When I say I am done with Politics what I really mean is that I am done with the hate it seems to bring from both sides – and when I say I am done with politics it isn’t really about politics at all its more of a hot trigger word to get people to focus in because no one really gets drawn in by “Hey why don’t you just make someone’s day today!”

So when I say I am done with whatever I guess it means that a part of me is done with democracy. Of choices and sides and slander because lately, I feel as though I have lost faith in the system – in myself, in my faith, in the idea that people can be caring and honest – and I know this may sound like it is angled at one person but I am done with blaming anyone other than myself.

See often there is no outlet for people like me who are so frustrated about nothing and everything that, well it all gets pent up. It all gets focused and gross and rots almost like a dream deferred.

I guess, sometimes, a part of me worries that I am still stuck in my anxiety-fueled teen years. That my mouth hurts from the braces rather than the words trapped in the back of my throat. Then I see all those videos of people standing up and telling me to vote – that my voice matters, but I still wonder if it does.

You can’t call this type of feeling insecurity, but I suppose you could call it grief – because the stress that ensues from trying  [and failing] to be PC isn’t one I want to live with so I end up on here ranting to strangers about how unfair it is for my middle-class white ass. BUT IT ISNT – AND HOW DARE I.

Have you ever felt sorry for yourself? and then suddenly a wave passes over you telling you to stop being ungrateful?  I have… but then I realize that there is a difference between accepting your shortcomings and admitting that you can do something to extend what you have to others. and this post is a great example because by saying I am “done with politics” I could influence others to be, but that isn’t what I want to do…

No. What I want is to tell everyone that I am done with the system as it is – I am fed up with the way people are treated, I am sick of hate being a primary consumer product and I want to change that. And this isn’t meant to post blame – it isn’t meant to point a finger but rather gives each of us an opportunity to change the world around us because power is nothing without words – without a message – and without a vessel to spread it.

So let’s be the vessel let’s be powerful by spreading something more. Let’s be the change we wish to see in the world – and let us start today.

 

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Kevin at a Desk

Late Notice

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OK. Stop me if you heard this one before. You apply for the job, get an interview (maybe even a second) and you wait to hear back. Then you’re stuck to wait and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait until finally!!!!

They don’t have an opening anymore.

GOD does this bug me!

I am hired and working happily at a place where i love to go to work every day, work with great co workers, and in my biased opinion  have the best supervising role for ten outstanding kids. What gets me going is the fact of how the companies, or where ever we choose to work, they perch you up next to others on a shelf and drop people into the trash as they figure out who’s the best candidate for the job however what i get upset is when good talent is forced to rot on that shelf. You wait for a job that you really want and you are forced to wait even if you send out applications to other institutions or places of work. Its unfair to you, the applicant, when waiting becomes your worst enemy especially after you have the second round interview where you have the most hope of landing the job.

It is not that hard to say no thank you. 

I rather be told upfront that i am not fit for the job or they like someone else. I get to move on with my search and they get their person. It is that simple. It is not like that, you get left to sit up on a shelf helpless until you get a response.  I know many good people who are still looking for a job but they get hung out to dry with the jobs and even tho i am biased, i can still tell who is a good catch for employers. Even Gibbs from the CBS Show “NCIS” has a great rule about this kind of stuff. ” YOU DONT WAIST GOOD” Yet people will waste good until its going going gone.

My favorite thing is now that i am employed, i am getting a lot of feedback from the places i interviewed giving me the automatic HR response. I just mark it as spam at this point. Its not even worth writing back to them or acknowledging it because it is a opportunity that has long passed. I am happier where i am now that i was ever going to be in these other places that left me with a notice that is long overdue.

Now, I am guessing if you are reading this, you’re experiencing the same thing.

What i advise you to do is keep pumping out those resumes and get into those phone interviews. Especially if this is your first real world, post college job you have to be very proactive for that job. If you wait around then you are letting yourself rot on a shelf. Once you apply there will be waiting periods, but this doesn’t mean you have to wait around. Start prepping what you are gonna say in the interview, how you want to look on a Skype interview, or what connections you have to the organization you are applying for that you can somewhat get activated. Basically start the fire and keep your irons in to prepare for what might happen. If the company takes their sweet time with a response and you feel like you are getting stale, take the risk and get off the shelf. You do not have to take this systems crap, you can move on to another place, maybe that is where you were meant to be.

Basically, their late notice is their loss.

Why does it have to be your leash?

Just Post Grad Things

Mouth Wired Shut

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Mouths Wired Shut

Perfection is bred under a knife

and a leader who turns privilege into the new definition of victimization.

you see

growing up I was taught to believe a victim was someone whose power was unfairly taken from them.

that a victim was someone who knew what they had lost –

but now it has become the definition of someone who knows what they can lose only to be rewarded for ill-fitting deeds,

and tantrums

I mean drop your arguments on whether or not this man has committed a crime

but look at how he reacted

look at how he was made to be a hero after suffering these false claims

and look now at the names he was not called for being over emotional…

anyway.

this got me thinking…

if Kavanaugh is a victim, is Cosby?

if Kavanaugh was ‘wrongly and evily accused, was Brock Turner?

and if women who open their mouths after years of suffering are mocked by the president himself as a result – if people cheer for a man that mocks women for trying to reclaim what their attacker took from them – if women who do this are evil, then what are rapists, pedophiles, murderers?

if the villains are heroes and the heroes who make statements villains than what chance do I have to grow up and be something more?

because if all men now have to fear being “falsely accused”

if all men – created equal under our constitutions are victims of woman’s words…

then who will hear US while they cry wolf and who will protect US from a constitution where only MEN were created superior?

 

an explanation

 

Not all men are created evil – in fact I don’t believe anyone is “evil”. I think the word evil stems from archaic claims of magic and bewitching and things that do not pertain to people but rather their actions.

This week women and girls everywhere were mocked – they were taught that their voice means nothing and that middle age white men (who are in no way victims) can take power from those who actually suffer (male, female, black, white, rick poor, gender normative, or gender neutral without voices) This week we learned the lengths one man will go to weaponize victimization in order to make real victims and those who actually suffer feel inferior, and I know people will buy into it, but not me…

 

The Global Citizen

The Art of The Bubble: A 21st Century Dilemma.

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“Let’s agree to disagree”.

Sure, we’ve all heard it before, but have we heard this phrase been used recently? We live in an era where we can choose to curate the media to our tastes and preferences. This is complimented by intricate Facebook posts that can either begin or end with “Feel free to unfriend me if you disagree.”

What this results in, is a world where we are now surrounding ourselves with only like minded people, and a refusal to hear out the voices of the other side. Maybe these words are hardest to hear, especially in a volatile and polarized political climate where everything truly is black or white, red or blue, right or wrong. In order to better support your argument, one should be able to defend it against the opposition. Or at least, that was the intention of debate anyways.

Freedom of speech, to debate and discuss issues that are controversial is what the cornerstone of democracy is truly all about. If you take away the ability to have two sides of an argument, there is only right and wrong. A quote from the philosopher; Nietzsche, “You have your way, I have my way. As for the right way, the correct way, and the only way, it does not exist.”  Each one of us is entitled to an opinion, and that opinion is shaped by our morals, ethics, values, worldview, and the pasts that have shaped us into who we are. How are we supposed to judge someone’s opinion before understanding why they believe what they do?

At the end of the day, I believe the best thing to do is to open ourselves up to new viewpoints. Maybe we should engage an a conversation, open up the news article on CNN/NBC/Fox News. Ask ourselves why or why not we disagree with it. One day, this will shift the conversation from WHAT we believe into WHY we believe what we do. Maybe, just maybe, through the power of a conversation, a mutual understanding will be reached or even possibly someone will see the world in a different light.

In a generation of limitless power and capability in our pockets, isn’t it ironic that we use it to access less rather than more? Better yet, let’s put the phones down and pass over the small talk. For once, maybe we can learn from each other.

Kevin at a Desk

Let’s Talk

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” I hope you are doing well and i hope to hear from you soon, just remember if you need anything, let me know”

Common words spoken lead to actions that are common I guess?

It’s Mental Health awareness week, and it is the reminder of the fact that you are not alone in this world. In your darkest hour, there will be candles lit for you to follow every mile you walk. You may feel out of place, like being on a deserted island in your own mind and yet you have a person on each shoulder waiting for you to say the word and guide you to the mainland. It’s a fact

The fact is that 1 in 5 people will experience mental health problems in their lifetime. That’s about 43 million people in the United States for my mathematicians out there. It’s a big number and we are starting to realize the impact of mental conditions such as anxiety, depression, and others but some to say the least. I can tell you that seeing the number for the first time was very disheartening and concerning. What was going on? why was this so high and what are we doing? I like to think these are the first questions we contemplate over the first few times we rationalize the impossible. I think the question does stand still whenever we contemplate it because we think this is a solvable problem overnight, or at least we wish it was. The fact is that we are breaking the stigma around the talks we should be having concerning mental health.

The conversation is never easy, never fun, and it gets hard when you have to ask your closest friend. Just because you are afraid to have the conversation about mental health does not make you a weak person.

If we had this conversation mastered, then we would know the secrets to the universe as well.

These conversations are hard for a lot of us, and those who may have them on a daily basis or are at least trained for them it gets harder each person they talk with. Each story they hear, each ounce of pain weighed, every discussion has its impact upon everyone who is involved in the conversation. Sometimes it gets to us hearing so many stories,m and we need to have the conversation about ourselves. Anyone from a friend to a therapist can be someone that can be a listening ear for those who need help. We forget sometimes that those who help with mental health do not do enough for themselves and their well being. Even myself, where in my profession we are considered as people who can hear stories and help those out who are dealing with mental health.

Sometimes I just wish that i could be as good to myself as i am for others.

I do not treat myself very well. I do not seek help, i do not ask, and i suffer for it. I know my resources to the letter, i know what is there i just can not bring myself to “Burden” others even the ones who get paid to do this as a job. I think when i think of mental health i want to think of others first and put mine off to the side until it overflows like boiling pot of water. Until it gets there i do not pay attention to it, maybe a sad song will fix it, and that’s not right and i know it, you know it, everyone knows it. Its been my mission over the past two years to get my head on straight and try and keep it there. I have made progress but its a journey not a trip. Good days stay and bad days come and go.

We write a lot on this blog about adulthood, especially the millennial generations cause well we are them. IN this generation mental health has become a foreground discussion and we are going to be the generation that breaks the stigma around the “IT” or our mental health. I just know it. What we will struggle with is the realization is that the helpers do not help themselves. The helpers will put off everything until it goes too far and “boils over.”

We need to get better at the fact that we matter as well as others.

If we can make common actions happen then the words to spur those soon to be common conversations on our view on mental health would change. This week should be about others but in reality you matter just the same, we love you and its OK to have a conversation about you. It’s what matters the most.

The Life and Times

To the Men Who Spoke at My Fathers Funeral

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I don’t remember much about my father dying, I guess that’s because I wasn’t there – but I don’t remember much of him being sick either – some would call that a blessing. I just know I wish I was there for him when he needed me most…

Don’t get me wrong I know the bad stuff, the boxes of food to go through his feeding tube, the sounds of him keeled over the toilet in the morning, how worried my mother was – and the looks on family friends faces.

Yeah, I guess when it comes down to it I don’t remember much about my father dying, and come to think of it I don’t remember much about his funeral either – but what I do remember is one voice – the voice of my coach.

So a little background about me, I was raised Quaker and the definitions on that will most definitely appear on another post but what that means for this one is that funerals for us are not Like funerals for Christians, Catholics, Methodists or Jewish people. No, because in our service we focus on the person’s story.

Look at 14 you never think you’ll be sitting in a dress at your fathers funeral, you never imagine that your mom won’t let you wear black or that your friends will show up to support you – but as a Quaker, you could never be more grateful of all the amazing stories that are shared when a loved one dies.

The stories I heard then. At my fathers funeral were and are some that still resonate with me today. I couldn’t be more thankful for those times because no matter how painful. Those are the stories that keep the lost and allow them to remain here with us.

Just Post Grad Things

The Fortnite Obsession (and why it needs to stop)

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Trigger Warning: If you consider yourself someone who has an intimate relationship with Fortnite – and or are simply and radically addicted, read no further.

Yet another thing Ruined

A decade ago the term fortnight was one that regarded a fourteen (fort) night period of time or two weeks, but last year Epic Games changed that with the creation of their video game “Fortnite”.

Yet another thing #ruined by the #millenialage. (Click here for We ruin everything, apparently)

A Never Ending Fad…

Widely played and highly addictive Fortnite became a huge success almost overnight [rather than in a fortnight] – but personally, I can’t understand why…

As I stand I would currently deem myself a part-time gamer – only able to dedicate 5 – 8 hours a week to my console, but rarely if at all will I dedicate that time to Fortnite because I personally see no value in the game.

Unlike Call of Duty which has a historical timeline, Mario which is timeless (and I wish Nintendo could share the wealth with other consoles), and sports games like FIFA or NHL which have been around 5ever – Fortnite has nothing more than bright colors wacky dances,  and brain melting concepts.

Quick facts :

  • the graphics are weak – especially with a 4k system because  there are so many games where the graphics and experience are so much better
  • the building mode is overrated – and Call of Duty did it better
  • the dances are lame – and yet people live for them???
  • and don’t get me started on how my friend (while playing with his girlfriend) pushed her around in a shopping cart and then threw her off a cliff… talk about #relationshipgoals?

So when will Fortnite go nighty night… I don’t know but I sure hope it doesn’t last much longer because I am pretty sick and tired of hearing about it. pexels-photo

We’re all just Awkward n' Adulting.