” I hope you are doing well and i hope to hear from you soon, just remember if you need anything, let me know”

Common words spoken lead to actions that are common I guess?

It’s Mental Health awareness week, and it is the reminder of the fact that you are not alone in this world. In your darkest hour, there will be candles lit for you to follow every mile you walk. You may feel out of place, like being on a deserted island in your own mind and yet you have a person on each shoulder waiting for you to say the word and guide you to the mainland. It’s a fact

The fact is that 1 in 5 people will experience mental health problems in their lifetime. That’s about 43 million people in the United States for my mathematicians out there. It’s a big number and we are starting to realize the impact of mental conditions such as anxiety, depression, and others but some to say the least. I can tell you that seeing the number for the first time was very disheartening and concerning. What was going on? why was this so high and what are we doing? I like to think these are the first questions we contemplate over the first few times we rationalize the impossible. I think the question does stand still whenever we contemplate it because we think this is a solvable problem overnight, or at least we wish it was. The fact is that we are breaking the stigma around the talks we should be having concerning mental health.

The conversation is never easy, never fun, and it gets hard when you have to ask your closest friend. Just because you are afraid to have the conversation about mental health does not make you a weak person.

If we had this conversation mastered, then we would know the secrets to the universe as well.

These conversations are hard for a lot of us, and those who may have them on a daily basis or are at least trained for them it gets harder each person they talk with. Each story they hear, each ounce of pain weighed, every discussion has its impact upon everyone who is involved in the conversation. Sometimes it gets to us hearing so many stories,m and we need to have the conversation about ourselves. Anyone from a friend to a therapist can be someone that can be a listening ear for those who need help. We forget sometimes that those who help with mental health do not do enough for themselves and their well being. Even myself, where in my profession we are considered as people who can hear stories and help those out who are dealing with mental health.

Sometimes I just wish that i could be as good to myself as i am for others.

I do not treat myself very well. I do not seek help, i do not ask, and i suffer for it. I know my resources to the letter, i know what is there i just can not bring myself to “Burden” others even the ones who get paid to do this as a job. I think when i think of mental health i want to think of others first and put mine off to the side until it overflows like boiling pot of water. Until it gets there i do not pay attention to it, maybe a sad song will fix it, and that’s not right and i know it, you know it, everyone knows it. Its been my mission over the past two years to get my head on straight and try and keep it there. I have made progress but its a journey not a trip. Good days stay and bad days come and go.

We write a lot on this blog about adulthood, especially the millennial generations cause well we are them. IN this generation mental health has become a foreground discussion and we are going to be the generation that breaks the stigma around the “IT” or our mental health. I just know it. What we will struggle with is the realization is that the helpers do not help themselves. The helpers will put off everything until it goes too far and “boils over.”

We need to get better at the fact that we matter as well as others.

If we can make common actions happen then the words to spur those soon to be common conversations on our view on mental health would change. This week should be about others but in reality you matter just the same, we love you and its OK to have a conversation about you. It’s what matters the most.