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On Being a Boulder Brook Mom (and the ramblings of a young poet)

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The women around here are not JUST women – they are Titans. They grow up knowing that they have to be brave, fearless even. That they have to have grace and know their own worth – know that they are not cut out to simply be an accessory in their own life. That husbands aren’t guaranteed, because time is not kind and old age and good health is as good a gift as any other.

Women around here wield water skis like swords and dirtied hands like first place prizes. Women here are the reason we believe that there is a future beyond the hateful words we hear anywhere else. Women here are the reason this writer – has a voice that says something other than “like and um” when speaking in front of crowded rooms. Women here are the reason I write.

There’s Something About a Place Like This

I said it once but I will say it again, I grew up around powerful women. Strong women who loved, lived and cried for the future of their families. I grew up around Roxy the riveter types – women who were true heroes in their own right. I grew up around WOMEN – and when I say there is something about a place – I mean, there is something about THIS place that makes being who you are a little less frightening and a lot more possible. And maybe that feeling could be attributed to a mothers touch or maybe it could just be called what it is – this place is love.

It is my father’s heart still beating as the waves crash on the beach that reminds me of him – its my mother’s smile from before she knew what true unending hurt was. It’s dirty feet, sandy carpets and a love for people that are so much more than family.

In a place like this – like home, the wind moves like poetry and the waves crash in such a way that could make a natural disaster pause and watch. In a place like this – drunk thoughts become sobering memories of sunsets that reminded you of a childhood you can’t return to. It’s a place like this that becomes your identity and it is from mothers like ours that we can translate what all this poetic bullshit means.

So How do you Put words to this kind of Music?

Well I guess you don’t… but instead of stopping to correct the music – maybe its better just to sit down, pause and listen.

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this post is dedicated to all the powerful and influential men and women we have lost this year. thank you for all you have taught me – thank you for being titans among men

Just Post Grad Things, The Life and Times

22 Tips For the Class of 2022

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In honor of Merrimack College welcoming the incoming class of 2022 today I wanted to do a shot piece on “22 Tips for the Class of 2022”

Below are the basic tips to follow to remained informed, intuitive, and hip to the college grind.

Ultimately College is a time to find yourself, but none of us get through it without a little help from our friends – so if you have any tips be sure to send them in via the comments below!

22 Tips for the Class of 2022

1.Be Yourself

I don’t know who you were in high school but this is the time to grow – to be a dork, a nerd, a jock? No. This is a time to be YOU. So strip off the labels and be yourself because that is the only way you will find your tribe.

2. Be Someone Else

Maybe you used to be shy – be the opposite for a day. Change who you think you are, dare to leap out of your comfort zone – whether this means being someone else or just acting like the person you were afraid to be growing up. Think of who you are now and take it one step further.

3. Party – Or Don’t

News Flash – you don’t have to party in college to have fun. You don’t have to drink to make friends. Like being yourself – the party or no party debate is about you and what you are comfortable with. In college I indulged in some reckless behaviors, but I also spent a lot of nights in with friends. Who you become is about who you hang out with – so chose your friends wisely and make sure that if you do party you have your people to back you up.

4. Join a Club

At my school it was impossible not to get involved – if this is the case at yours consider joining a club. This could expand your friend group unexpectedly, or it could get you out of the room [ REMEMBER : YOU ARENT IN BACK TO BACK CLASSES FROM 8-3 ANYMORE (HOPEFULLY) SO USE THAT TIME TO DO SOMETHING]

5. Start a Club

Does the club you want to be a part of not exist …? Interesting … How about talking to someone who can help you jumpstart your club [some clubs come with school funding!]

6. Join a Cult

Umm… Wait maybe don’t do this? 

but you could join a society that goes with your major or even your career goals [ yeah… yeah … do that ]

7. Go to Every Class the First Week (then keep going to class)

NEWS FLASH – someone once calculated how much each class costed – it was around 300$ [IM NOT TALKING ABOUT THE FULL ‘SEMESTER’ CLASS] So every class you skip – maybe think about what someone could have done with that money… [Just saying]

8. Take a Mental Health Day

Not to contradict tip 7, but to contradict tip 7 – take a day to take care of yourself. If this means laying in bed and watching sad movies with a tub of ice cream or going on a run instead of that class that has been making you cry – take the time, regroup. No amount of money or time is worth sacrificing your health.

9. Talk to that One Person who is “way out of your league” [because they aren’t]

See that guy/ girl at the front of the class the one who’s dimples seem “perfect” and who’s shirt always brings out the “glimmer” in their eyes – TALK TO THEM – better yet ASK THEM TO HANG OUT OR GO OUT. The worst a person can do is say no – so why aren’t you taking a chance?

10. Comfort someone who is clearly homesick

From the first week to the last day of senior year someone will get homesick – its a guarantee. So go and ask if they are ok. Talking to someone or even saying hello can make a huge difference.

11. Go on Epic Adventures

“Yo bro do you wanna walk to CVS – Get Coffee? Yo lets go to chipotle!” Remember that adventure is literally everywhere so get hype and find a reason why a small trip could be an awesome way to orient yourself with your campus’ surroundings.

12. Spend a Night in

Movie Night? Popcorn? Enough said

13. Get in Trouble at least once [call it a learning experience]

Get to know your campus resources – you don’t have to do anything stupid to do this but getting in trouble or getting in a fight with a new friend teaches you more than perfect relationships and a perfect record. You won’t learn if you don’t make at least one mistake.

14. Get a Job

I was once asked how much allowance a mother should give to her kid… I told the woman that I got a job instead of asking for money from home. When the mom rubbed this in her students face and told her she should get a job – I turned to the student and said – if you have a job you don’t have to ask permission on what to spend YOUR money on. [the mom wasn’t thrilled but it definitely put an idea of self sustainability into the students mind]

15. Be Best Friends with your Prof (or department head)

Extra time on a paper or a test? Extra help on what the midterm exam will ask for – being friends and having a professional relationship with your professors could make your grade, or it could just help you learn some fun information about what it means to be a member of your major.

On the first day of class make it a habit of introducing yourself. It makes a difference

16. Be someone’s hero for a day

Making a difference in someone’s life is honestly not difficult. Start today by being kind – this practice could make you a hero, a decent human or a great leader one day – so try it out.

17. Consider a point of view you thought you were completely against

Politics – Violence – Civil Rights

Change starts with a conversation. It is hard to be open minded but it’s impossible to grow without the ability to communicate why you believe what you believe. At the end of the day you don’t have to like someone’s views, but finding out how they got those views will help you understand people better.

18. Nickname your friend group [ make it obnoxious but relatable ]

My friends and I called ourselves ROLEX – my brother took this as an opportunity to point out that we named ourselves after something that was “overpriced and useless” but I just thought we were timeless.

19. Make Someone Proud [ Or better – Make Yourself Proud ]

Whoever you’re doing it for – do it well. I can’t help you with this one, it’s all up to you

20. Do something you never thought you could do

kiss someone, fight someone, sky dive, join a club – just do something out of your comfort zone and maybe you’ll surprise yourself

21. Get in trouble again [ another lesson – just for the hell of it ]

Fool me once shame on me – fool me twice shame on you…. you got to risk it to get the brisket my friends so push some limits [WITHIN REASON] but whatever you do, learn something from it.

22. Graduate ?

I mean if you’re gonna WIN at college you got to finish it right? SO DO IT!

The Afterward

After Graduating from the best four years of my life SO FAR I cannot wait to see what the future holds for my brother and friends who are still enjoying and suffering through their college years. Being someone who has been vastly defined by the events that have built the person writing to you today – I can say that the best is yet to come and that these tips are exactly the ways to break out of your shell and make college great.

GOOD LUCK AND GOD SPEED TO THE CLASS OF 2022 – YOU’RE IN FOR A WILD RIDE

 

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stay tuned for more with our next college story “How to WIN at College”