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JustRachel

The block list

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So you did it. You done f’ed up. You texted or called or tweeted or snapped that one person you shouldn’t have – and they RESPONDED. S***. Now what?

Step 1 : remain calm. Don’t overthink it. Maybe it’s an ex and you’re feeling the post holiday “why are you single conversations” maybe you just wanted to talk to someone familiar. It’s ok. It’s normal to want that.

Step 2 : keep it casual. Resist the urge to make plans. Don’t agree to coffee or a call. Just go with the flow and wish that person well.

Step 3 : the exit. Try something like. “It was nice to hear from you” or since it’s the holidays “wish your family a happy holidays for me.” Then leave it at that.

Step 4 : the rehab. Coming back from a convo with an ex is hard and it’s exhausting sometimes. Take some time to bow out. Or spend time with family. Let yourself live in it for a bit – then let it go. (Easier said than done)

Look at the end of the day we all just want to remain connected to people. Social media makes this easy but it also makes it easy to get caught up in the drama of “what is he/she up to” and “I wonder if they’re thinking about me too”. But at the end of it all we need to take care of ourselves and the ones who are still in our lives first.

Take care of yourself this holiday season and remember that the people who are in your life are lucky to be there just like you are lucky to be present in their lives. And if you are home try not to get caught up in your past by digging it up.

In other words keep your friends close and your block list waaaaaay out of reach.

JustRachel

The problem with love in my generation

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So about a week ago, after watching a rom com I started writing a post that was nothing short of crazy cat lady crazy. (Not to worry, I culled the crazy)

In this post, I talked about love and how it was the princes that I haven’t kissed were the ones I regretted more than the frogs I had. I talked about unrequited love and how our lives are defined by the chances we don’t take when it comes to love.

BUT – it wasn’t until my car ride home from work the next day that I realized why I had cat lady spiraled – ok maybe not a reason, but at the very least it was a much more constructive way of writing in which I didn’t confess an undying love that only occurs to me when I am lonely (aka not love but loneliness).

Thus I GIVE YOU (drumroll) … The problem with love in my generation.

See in my generation it seems that we have “love” or rather “lust” at our fingertips. If we are lonely we swipe, bored? We swipe, in need of human intimacy? You guessed it. We cue up the options and swipe our way into someone’s bed.

Today it’s easier than ever to find someone for whatever you need in the moment. But the problem with this? It doesn’t last. And that isn’t just because someone’s bio takes away the romance or the mystery of meeting someone on the street or at a bar. It’s because that craving for someone to love or lust us takes away from the one thing the internet can’t immediately gratify.

TODAY WE LACK THE ABILITY TO LOVE OURSELVES FIRST – and no ladies I’m no talking about the Hailee Steinfeld song kind of “love yourself” I’m talking no likes no views see yourself in the mirror and dig what you see before you ask some guy or girl to validate.

Look at the end of the day validation is great. But kissing frogs and finding princes/princesses doesn’t do a damn thing if you can’t find yourself first.

The problem with my generation is that love isn’t like the movies and while getting caught up in the theatrics every once in a while is great it doesn’t fix the problem. The problem that we don’t give ourselves enough love or honest communication to ever give it to someone else.

These days were caught up in trying not to be lonely that we make a lot of wrong turns. Some of us end up in short term marriages, some in abusive relationships and others well those lucky little craps find something real. At the end of the day it comes down to luck and love – not luck for finding someone or love of someone but luck and love in knowing and loving ourselves.

JustRachel

Life after life

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Graduating college comes with a personal loss. While there is an excitement to graduating, many of us mourn the transition into the new life we are meant to live.

So how do we survive life after life? How do we transition from the life we know into the life we were meant to live.

Until recently I didn’t understand why people live at home after they graduate. Other than the practicality and genius of saving money rather than jumping into the real world – living at home seems to present a kind of common comfort as we (as adults) transition into our new lives.

But while many move home, I cannot speak to that experience. For me, when I graduated, my survival was dependent on diving into a new reality… and by that I mean that I coped by maintaining a sense of comfort and similarity. For me I didn’t go “home” but I clung to the new home that I had made for myself.

After graduating undergrad chose to go back to school. This was my survival technique. I picked up grad classes at the place I had gone to undergrad, stayed on the Track team for one more year and clung to every ounce of sameness that I could.

Let me set the record straight – surviving life (post grad) isn’t easy, but if it was it wouldn’t be worth it.

After graduating grad school last May I crashed a little but luckily I found new life in Maine “in the pines” where I was able to find myself again and build enough confidence to get a new job and move back to my home in Massachusetts.

Now I have a great job, some solid friends and a new outlook on adulting.

For me, surviving post grad has been a whirlwind, and for you it will be different. It won’t be easy, it will be expensive, and at times you will lose sight of who you thought you were – but that is exactly what life after life is all about.

Moral of the story – I can’t give you the perfect answer on “how to survive life” not after college, not through the winter, and not after a bad breakup. But what I can do – I can tell you that you will make it and that it will be worth it. So for now – don’t worry, enjoy the moment, and strive to be nothing less than you.

JustRachel

Post grad grumpies

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At 23 I have already perfected the art of settling. I have a good job, good friends, money in the bank and food in the cupboard. I have some stuff I don’t need and almost all the things I do.

From the outside looking in some might be jealous, some would criticize my apparent lack of gratitude, and others would chose not to care. From the outside looking in you would assume I’m happy – and I should be – but I’m not.

But why?

Well, Im quickly realizing that the problem with having a good job at 23 is that both ourselves and the world assume that we should be grateful. But if you know you deserve more out of life a good job can feel a lot more like a bad boyfriend (partner). Where you know the relationship is toxic but you’re grateful for the opportunity to be valued and loved. And isn’t that exactly what settling is? Being grateful but knowing that something isn’t right?

At this point in my life I can’t say I pushed for many of the opportunities that have come my way. And it isn’t that I haven’t worked hard on this that or the other, but at the same time 9/10 times I didn’t ask to end up where I am – I just shrugged and said yes. And until recently I’ve come to think that this was normal. That, this is how we adult, this is how we grow up. But it’s not is it?

To break it down: a post grad perspective of what I assumed life after college and grad school was supposed to look like…

We find a job, count ourselves lucky, take it graciously, settle in to daily routines and then, like an arranged marriage we expect and hope that we will fall in love with what we do. (This situation more often applies to people who don’t know exactly what they want to do out of school or don’t end up working somewhere like Disney or Google or Pinterest or what have you) And for a lot of people, or at least the ones I follow, the jobs they have found after graduating have seemed to click. These people for whatever reason seem (externally at least) happy. And of course, maybe this isn’t true or maybe it is – but on behalf of those who are struggling to love what we do and those looking at their job like a relationship they’ve settled into – I don’t think that this is what life is meant to be about.

So yeah, at 23 I’ve all but perfected the art of settling – or at least it feels that way. And for a lot of things and a lot of reasons I should be grateful and I should count myself lucky. But I guess the problem with that is that when you know you deserve better and when you know you can be so much more – the post grad gratefuls can feel a lot more like post grad grumpies and for me, that’s not something I ever dreamed of doing.

Kevin at a Desk

What i Learned in Year One

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Its been almost a month since i ended my first year at my first job Finally working the job that i dreamed about during those late night capstone revisions and early morning red-bull fueled walks to my assistantships. Its hard to believe that i made it here and there are still days where i look on my door and see my name with a masters degree. For those of the readers who don’t know, i am a Residence Hall director, i work as a advisor for a residence hall and have the duties of keeping students safe while also developing them to become better humans. Its been a fast paced couple of months with too many lessons to count. However finally i have the time to process it all.

Now that the summer months are upon me and i finally have time to reflect and start to develop some sort of standards and operating guidelines, or my handbook so to speak i try to write to this page what i believe i have learned and stuck with me for next year. This isn’t a manual that is meant to be published or one that many will follow because, well, its not for them. I write about this to make a digital testament to myself of how far i have come since starting this job. Its sometimes hard to write a list like this, because some of life’s lessons you have learned you want to share with the world and others you want to lock the secrets of success away so you don’t let it go and let anyone else find out. However, i don’t think these are secrets to most, but to me they are new discoveries of myself and my role.

The Things i learned in Year One:

  1. You’re gonna make some dumb mistakes, but it shows you’re human, use it to connect.
  2. Imposter syndrome is fucking legit, but its also a trap, you’re meant to be right where you are.
  3. Don’t compare yourself to your mentors, they were there developing how you could do something, now you have to find your own way to answer everything.
  4. Even when you mess up, it wont change people’s view of how you get your shit done.
  5. Ask a lot of questions instead of sitting around. When you learn you plan, when you plan you know what to do. You’re young in this field might as well take everything and filter it as you go.
  6. Don’t forget about your friends, even with a full time job you should take time to see them, they miss you.
  7. Have patience with stupidity, they may never get smarter but its better than you getting dumber in the process
  8. DON’T EAT AT THE SAME 2 RESTAURANTS, YOU’RE GONNA GET FAT (Unless you work out, then go ahead)
  9. Sometimes you need to put your head down, do your job and go home. Other days, make sure you pick up your head, you might miss something.
  10. You’re gonna have days where the soul and flesh aren’t willing. All you can do is sit, process it whether that is yelling on a car ride in the night or taking a smoke break. Then pick yourself out of the dirt and get on with the day.
  11. Don’t let yourself get personally involved in a conduct case, it clouds your judgement.
  12. Anger gets you no where, be kind but don’t let anyone get in your fucking way.
  13. Remember when you play the game of politics you either win or you make bad enemies
  14. Just remember the ” little people” will be your best foundation and best resources. Keep them on your hip
  15. Support your co workers, they are your only entertainment and its better to not piss them off.
  16. Trust your staff, they trust you and they want that reciprocated.
  17. Stop acting old and talking about experience you had, this isnt story time
  18. The golden rule still goes a long way even when you are 24.
  19. Theory is nice and all but youre gonna make something up on the fly to explain the impossible.
  20. You are only human, and there will be dark days ahead but you can be super human on multiple occasions.
  21. Dont take it personal when a staff member quits, it was never on you and they dont blame you for leaving. Just be supportive.
  22. Enjoy the job, this is what you dreamed about in classes and capstone. As the saying goes, Drive it like you stole it.
  23. They look up to you, even when you are upset they look up to you, take up the mantle and be the leader they need you to be
  24. Dont drink redbull until you are on duty.
  25. Be the RD you know you can be, fun but stern. Dedicated but direct, hard nosed but understanding.

Its a job i take great pride in; i can not thank those who gave me a chance to prove myself in this field. I can’t wait to continue to learn and add to this list with a redux next year about what i learned in year two.

JustRachel

She was…because she had to be

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When I think about myself and women in my generation and women in general – I think that weakness is the guise we wear to hide how powerful we truly are. but lately I have been feeling like that guise is getting the best of me personally. Why? because even today, when I got my summer dream job – when the weights lifted and the sun began to shine, I still managed to get myself twisted in the details that make adulting so awkward.

I am who I am because I have to be – Not because I want to be

And I am so damn tired of having to be x, y, and z for the sake of holding face. So here’s my truth – here’s the real…

Two weeks ago I lost my job. I was laid of suddenly and while I told my bosses I saw it coming, I had no clue and I just wanted to save face. And in retrospect I spend a lot of time doing that.

As a female in this generation I have spent 23 years talking myself into things. 23 years being my own hype woman while still looking for the approval of others – but oddly enough, this time, I ended up leaving a good and stable job for little to no other reason than – I couldn’t stay knowing that the one persons approval I was losing – was my own.

Sell yourself, But don’t sell-out

After almost a year into my career I fell short because I felt like I had sold out. I did everything right. Followed rules – to an extent and I did what was expected. But I sold out in the fact that nothing and no part fed me on a deeper level.

I started doing things because I had to. I started being x, y, z because I had to be – not because that was who I was.

So my advice. Don’t be like me.

Don’t wash up or sell out. Don’t call it quits when it seems too easy because that kind of thing won’t drive you and it won’t feed you in the way that you need.

Don’t be like me. But be you, because you have to be.

JustRachel

The Confessions of a Washed Up Track Star

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In sports, when the buzzer goes, the game ends.

So I guess the most confusing part of my sport is that – when the gun fires, we don’t stop, we go. When the clock starts, we run, we throw, we decide when to start the jump, the throw, the race – and then we decide what line to finish on and whether or not we want to keep our mark – or scratch it.

In my sport, we don’t have a final buzzer. We leave the end open- ended and because of this… well maybe that is why I can’t see an end to what I feel as though I barely started.

I Never Saw It In A Dream – But it Became Real

Five years ago – I didn’t dream of being here. I never imagined that I would be good enough to be where I am. But, I also never thought it would hurt this much to leave.

When your race ends, you walk away. In 5 years I have watched countless people walk away when it was their time to, but I never thought that watching them walk meant losing what it meant to be a part of a true and cohesive team.

One Team – No Longer a Dream

Three years ago I was part of a team, one that cheered and pushed and expected things of one another. Three years ago I was part of something bigger than myself, but today it just feels like I’m chasing that feeling like a dream deferred.


Harlem
BY LANGSTON HUGHES
What happens to a dream deferred?

     Does it dry up
     like a raisin in the sun?
     Or fester like a sore—
     And then run?
     Does it stink like rotten meat?
     Or crust and sugar over—
      like a syrupy sweet?

     Maybe it just sags
      like a heavy load.

      Or does it explode?

PoetryFoundation.org

We all know the feeling of a dream deferred. The feeling of watching something you love slip through your finger tips like the string of a balloon leaving your hand at a crowded park with no one to save it as it flies away.

I never thought of Track and Field as my dream deferred – I never thought of it as something that could turn sour, but today, as I watch something rot and crust and sag – I realize that this love, like all others in my life have blinded me to how broken it is.

I Cannot and Do Not Win Without Them – And THIS is why We Do Not Win at all.

People assume that Track is a solo sport – It isn’t, but then again you cannot spell “Field” without “I” and I often feel that the Field part of Track and Field is forgotten – so maybe it fits. Because some times outside of my squad I feel like an I in a crowd of we’s.

It’s funny though.

The word team doesn’t have “I” in it – but if you re-arrange the letters it can say “ME”. And when I realize that, it gets me thinking how “We” turned into “Me” and “me” turned into a losing battle against myself.

A No Win Situation

Most days I ask questions I shouldn’t, ones that lead my coach to tell me to keep my nose out of it. But I personally cannot sit on my hands and be happy when this is not the team I signed up for.

AND I AM NOT ALONE

These are My Confessions

Today I am stuck. I am stuck watching people suffer because the sport they fell in love with is pushing them away as quickly as it held them close and honestly, I never thought it would be like that because two or three years ago it wasn’t.

Today I’m stuck. Stuck watching some fall to over confidence and others fail by not believing in themselves.

Today I’m waiting for something I used to have. Questioning if it was ever real in the first place and wondering if team is made by bonds among friends or by coaches who refused to take our shit.

Today I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of washed up and irrelevant, but tomorrow everything could change.

In Other Sports

In other sports we are made to stop when the buzzer fades, when the teams walk off the court – but in my sport we decide when to cross the finish line and while I can see mine inching closer, I still have too much to do to admit that it’s over.

In other sports they leave everything on the court, but in my sport I take control and me? I’ve just begun.

Kevin at a Desk

I Don’t Think I’m Doing It Right.

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You get a moment in time to think about your next action, your next words.

Hear the clock ticking or is that your heart running the Boston Marathon?

For a brief moment you feel as everything stops and all eyes are on you, either in distain or in belief.

Then everything goes black;

Times up! Whats your call?

i feel like when i get in something too deep when i have to be the lead, the person everyone looks to, i always feel like I’m fucking up. i feel that I’m not saying the right words or doing the right things. Even when i have the training and i go over the protocols in my head, i feel as if i fall flat on my face when i try to execute such actions.

I always feel like i’m not doing what i need to right.

i have never felt a time in recent history where i have felt confident in my actions and words and can’t stop the metaphorical train from running off the tracks. Maybe its the pressure getting to me, or the anxiety of letting down people who believe in me, the ones that really make me a better person, or maybe i just don’t want to lose the stable adulting “footing” i have for the first time in my young adult life. i like to think we the people who serve others in leadership roles suffer from the split decisions that stick in our minds and control a tangle like bind on our heart strings. We worry about the decisions we make and the words that make it to our lips because we are young and don’t want to suffer from a mis step that can make us lose our slim, finger tip grasp on what we dreamed we would be in our lives. There will be times where the pressure of making the right call or walking the proverbial line will get to us and we will need a moment here or there to decompress and to process the world and its ways. I can tell you from experience what comes of that can be many things and ways that a human can process things, not to mention that, in my case, there are sleepless nights based solely on a decision or something i said and me trying to get out of my head and into bed.

Thats kinda why this is being written at 1:07 AM on a Thursday morning because i cant sleep quite yet in my own apartment.

The reality is, we will always need to lie in our beds that we make at the end of the day. The thoughts may race through our heads and our heart rates will fly but we need to put it aside as best we can for the next issue, the next big tongue tie. Life’s dogmas and doctrines state that the past is the past but we must either learn from it or remain hurt by it. The best we can do for ourselves is to take a breath, try and talk it out with someone and just gear up for whatever comes our ways next while learning from our experiences. Life is not designed to be a wading pool, life is a fast pace river and we just need to be ready for where the current takes us next.

After all, even if we are not feeling like we are doing our jobs or responsibilities right, we are still trying to do good in this world.

Kevin at a Desk

I Hate Being the Nice Guy

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It’s all fun and games until you get burnt.

Its not a hard concept to be a nice guy. You do the right thing, try not to let anyone down, and do things for the greater good. A nice guy extends his arm out every time and does what they can to make sure someone can succeed with the rest of the world. There are sometimes when the hand that feeds gets bitten and the nice guy finishes last. In my opinion, i try to get back to the root of why i help people and even when i get burnt in helping someone i still try to come back to my core beliefs.

But what happens when someone gets burnt a little too much?

This is what happens when you’re too much of a nice guy, you get tired of people walking over you. You get annoyed when you’ve done so much for a person and they cant appreciate the things you’ve done; a real “What have you done for me lately?” kinda mindset. You boil over and when you say something you look like the bad guy, the person that gave everything doesn’t get the credit they deserve. It poisons the mind and eats at the soul until you are consumed with the false reality that you were never good in the first place. But thats not true, you’ve just reach a compelling point in your where you are giving up the poison.

i finally reach a point where i realized i cant be the nice guy i have been for a long time. For the first time in a long time i cant play the guy who gives a lot to get a little, who worries about something out of my reach. Its making me lose my mind, and i’m sick and tired of not getting much out of anything. I hate the feeling that people do not see me doing good that i have always strived for and when i step away from my normality of being generous to them, trying to rest, they complain about how i never do anything for them. I give them everything on a silver platter and they complain about the shine.

Its about time i focus on being a nice guy to myself for the long run of things. i don’t want to walk away from helping people entirely but i see that i am not gaining what i thought i would by putting others first, so maybe its time i put the metaphorical book of others needs on the shelf and read a new story. It looks like for a while its gonna be a reflective time for myself to try and be selfish for once in my life and i mean in a good way. Its gonna take time to become adjusted to this new philosophy but hey i got my entire life to figure out myself.

I’m starting at the top of my list with the company i keep. The people i need to stay away from in my case are the ones who ask and really never give anything in return that makes me be a better human in the short life we have. i do not want to put all of myself out to help when they do not defend me in my times of need. But this is no eye . for eye my friends. Its just a simple yet complex action They got to go, it might be awkward at first but i gotta think whats best for me in the end. In the reverse sense i will uncover those who really make me better; at my job, as a person, as a family member, and in the general sense of the term. By stripping away the layers of things that take away from what makes me, me i find the real core of myself. The original layer so to speak.

If you’re in my boat i think you’ll find the first thing on your list may be different from mine and thats ok. To be a selfish person means not to give anything back to hold everything in for yourself. What we are doing is refining what we give and what we get, checking our source of joy and other things that makes us who we are as particular generous, nice people. By doing this we will lose things and people but thats ok, things like this happen naturally but since we are causing the purge so to speak it feels like we are doing it not out of self care but self hate and it looks worse to the people and things we choose to walk away from. They will think the worse of us and remember nothing but the bad even if we help them at their darkest hour. Do not think too much into this and remember that this will change things but you’ll be better on the other side.

Peace & Blessings My Friends

Kevin at a Desk

To My High School Teachers

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Hi,

Its been a long time hasnt it?

I haven’t really seen you much. I’ve been on the road lately, from college to my first job, not much time to pop in and see you. I just wanted to write this and say, well thank you, for so much. It seems like a lifetime ago that i was in your class. My mop bucket of a head sitting either right up front, or slightly in the back in the small cramped desks, honestly i think it depended on where the rows ended with my last name. I think i looked more lost than most and i still had that devilish grin on my face basically at all times. You knew if i could blend in if i wanted to or standout, depended on the day i guess. Even with this odd kid in your class, i still cant believe what my life would have been like if i didn’t have you.

I know sometimes it didnt seem like i was learning, maybe it reflected in the papers or test i handed in that was not up to the par that you knew i was capable of and i guess i just didnt know how great i was until you sat down with me and explained it all. I was listening all those classes, listening to every word you had to say or example you had to give. Especially math, even tho i absolutely was abysmal at the subject you always had time for a tutor session here or there. Even in the things i excelled at like public speaking, history or writing; you never stopped pushing me to where i could be even when i felt comfortable. Even today i still take that “Practice makes better” mentality and try to improve something of myself each day i wake up.

I wanted to be a part of sports even with my non athletic talent, you still helped me find a way.

Even when i basically had no athletic talent, you still let me be a part of the team. Even tho i was not on the ice i still felt like i was a part of the team being the manager. Maybe i had to carry sticks to the bench or fill up waters but it taught me a lesson or two lessons. It taught me, one: You need to work in the nitty gritty to earn respect and when you get higher up that hard work will pay off, and the second: You may have a minor part on a team yet you are still a member of the team and it still makes up the identity of who we are. In was able to toughen up and become a man that is respected and hardworking because of the times on the bench and in the classroom.

Even during one of the most pinnacle of times when all students have unease and butterflies in their stomach you were still my MVP. Of course I’m referring to the college process. During that process, i was so nervous that i may not get into the school i wanted or the program i was eyeing or even a . good college at all, but you never lost faith in me. You made sure i was bound for a good education no matter what it took out of your personal time. Summers writing the college essays or the Common Application run through that i think i asked about 1000 times. Look at me now, two degrees in five years and now i’m working at Colleges. Something i may never have dreamed i would do but yet you set me up for success

You don’t always get enough credit for what you do. You sacrifice some days to be at school a little bit earlier or little bit later just to give us the opportunity to bump our grades up. Even when we fell short after that support and we slipped through the crack and come begging for help you never fell flat on your desire to be what great teachers are. Even when we misbehaved i don’t think you ever yelled at us with the intent to wound, a shot across the bow as we deserved.

I cant fully explain what great impact you have had on my life, i think this letter would go off the charts and never end. Mostly because every day i use something you taught me, either from a book or who you were. You taught me what it meant to be a man of poise and class, a standard i have kept myself to for all this time. I act as a gentleman because thats what you taught me to be it, what you knew i should be. That doesn’t mean to be afraid or have too much pride, it was to stand up for what i believe in and who i believe in and to not forget the importance of standing by a good moral compass. Now that i am in charge of people as their supervisor, i stand by the example you set for me and i try to be a good example for them just as you did for me.

Although not all of you can read this right now for what ever reason prevents you, i hope you know i never forget the good teachers. The ones that live forever in our minds are the ones who took care of us but taught us life lessons even when you had giv tough love ones . We have gone on to do so many different and unique things trust me i never thought i see myself where i am today

Ill try to stop in soon, i swear and it will be like the good ole times even if im 24 and the size of a lineman. I cant wait to share that moment with you and tell you all about my journey, its a real page turner. (even if i didn’t really read in school).Until then i hope your current students really learn to appreciate the work you do.

I know we all do now

Till then, Peace & Blessings.

Kevin at a Desk

What it means to be Irish-American

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Quick history lesson:

Many Irish immigrants came over in due part to the work that was available, the brutal Irish Potato famine, and other numerous groups fleeing the mostly unwelcome British rule over the course of some 300 plus years. Coming to America was not always the easiest of choices to be made, many of the immigrants left everything and everyone to try and have a chance at a new life. There was an old saying when you left for America; the last night everyone saw you, it was basically a “Walking funeral” because many people would not see you ever again. Men, women, and yes even children made the long oceanic journey over the “pond”. Once they got here, didn’t always end well. Irish Americans were demonized and treated with terrible life conditions and anti Irish sentiment, including the infamous signs that read ” No Irish Need apply”. Even with all these issues, the Irish still found a way to thrive, helping build the west, and being one of the major keys to modern America (well at least the good parts). Irish Americans went above the prejudice and still found a way to make a living. So much so there was even and Irish American President elected in 1960.

Now that March has rolled around yet again and that means one thing to many people: Saint Patricks day.

Yes the disgusting green beer is flowing, all the people in the world claim they are .0000001% Irish so its their holiday, and the really dumb drunk people saying they can ” drink soooo much because i got that Irish drinking skill”. Anytime these comments pop up in a conversation, i get absolutely disgusted because they are just reiterating old statements that actually have no relevance. Like congrats you know a stereotype that you don’t even get.

There is so much more to being Irish than just the Americanized binge drinking and other nonsense. First off, drinking in Ireland and in Irish culture is not a way of getting drunk as we plan on doing on St Patricks day. Its a way to socialize, to celebrate and create a welcoming and friendly environment for those to meet new people celebrate life and settle debts. Its not just about the leprechauns running in the hills of four leaf clovers and pots of gold that lay at the end of an imaginary rainbow. These things that have been characterized and created as satirical have now leaked into the truth and have created an alternative back story.

So what am i trying to get at?

The real meaning of being an Irish American.

Being Irish is being prideful of the ancestors who were some of the toughest people history recounts. From fighting the famine to fighting for independence from the British Invasion, the descendants of the Irish immigrants have fight in our blood. It has not always been easy for us, so saying your something without understanding the strife and issue we have tackled makes me sick. I get that you’re trying to play off of a holiday and not being too offensive but at the same time i cant stand when treat this holiday as the sole representation of the entire culture of Irish Americans and the Irish culture as a whole.

Irish Americans are hard working individuals that have been working for all their lives, and in the jobs that might not have been always ideal but made a dollar to support the family. They started from the bottom of the food chain to reach a standard of being considered an average American. Irish Americans may have been beaten and battered but they never broke, and they never will. Sometimes too stubborn for their own good, yet wise beyond their years that sometimes got them in trouble yet would get them out in a heartbeat. Loving and caring that mades its genes giddy with the luck. The Irish American was and will always be a person of great integrity but never cross their way with words you cant back up. The Irish American is much more than one holiday out of the calendar They are a population that is true to who they are. Even as the generations of immigrants have children and grand children, the sentiment has been passed onwards to keep your head down and work, be prideful of who they are and to make sure they are always making things better, never worse for the next guy.

i am an Irish American grand child, grandparents came over in the 1920’s during a lot of the anti irish sentiment and yet i exist because they had the dream to make it in America. They had a dream, came here , and passed down the dream to my father and he passed it down to me.

Being an Irish American descendant has lead me to believe a lot of my personality traits come from. Im stubborn to the point where i get red in the face, i keep a good morale compass and i stick up for who i think deserves it. I think a lot of other things i do, and many of my friends have noted, draws upon my heritage just as many of us do. One of the things that have bothered me over the years of learning about my heritage is seeing all the anti Irish sentiment and hearing about stories. Hearing the things they would do, how the cops use to ’round them up in the “Paddy wagon”. I think even vermin would sometimes be treated better than Irish Americans.

However, dwelling on the past without a plan for the future is fruitless. The stories i have heard encourages me to be welcoming of those looking for a new place here in the United States, amending an injustice in my opinion. What i think today being an Irish American is to be the difference, welcome the new potential citizens and create an environment that is helping them achieve their dreams of starting a new life. We as descendants or Irish immigrants should not beat the next person down the ladder as history shows us, if anything we should be helping them up each rung and breaking the cycle. I know thats what my grandparents would have wanted.

So when you start drinking on St Paddy’s day, take a moment to think about what the Irish in America went through. it doesn’t have to be anything deep or self punishing, but take a moment to remember that this part of America, this party of her heritage is more than the green beer and telling the cute guy at the bar that you’re Irish. Think about all the strong Irish men and women ( trust me the women are a hell of a lot stronger than you think, but thats another post) who added to American culture and had an impact on the world It doesn’t even have to be someone famous, i know i wont thinking about a famous person. Ill be thinking of two other people.

Just two people who make me proud to be Irish.

JustRachel

A letter to my Father

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Dear dad

Yesterday I turned 23 and for the first time in a while my birthday wasn’t a reminder of you getting diagnosed. For the first time in a long time it wasn’t the 3 month mark of hitting another year without you. For the first time in a long time I was able to just be happy and love where I am.

Dear dad,

I miss you. I miss you everyday. But this year I have been making the kinds of choices that you would be proud of. I have been working harder and smarter and taking better care of my body because I want to live a long enough life to give you the journeys you missed by leaving us so young.

Dear dad,

Yesterday I turned 23 and I wish you were there. I wish you could have seen all the love and joy that surrounded me. I wish you could have seen the incredible people I surround myself with because if you could, you would be so proud.

Dear dad,

Today I compete in my last winter track meet and as my college athletic career comes to a close this year, I simply could not be more grateful for all it and you have given me by allowing me to be your daughter.

Dear dad,

Thank you for the best present a person could ask for. Thank you for giving me the strength to be the woman you raised me to be and thanks for showing me that love is earned and deserved rather than simply given.

Dear dad,

I’m 23 – and it’s crazy.

Dear dad, I love you. And I can’t wait to show you what I have left in store for this final stretch of this chapter in my life.

This year I’m gonna make you proud but you know what else? This year I’m gonna make myself proud too.