Tag Archives: Sports

The Confessions of a Washed Up Track Star

In sports, when the buzzer goes, the game ends.

So I guess the most confusing part of my sport is that – when the gun fires, we don’t stop, we go. When the clock starts, we run, we throw, we decide when to start the jump, the throw, the race – and then we decide what line to finish on and whether or not we want to keep our mark – or scratch it.

In my sport, we don’t have a final buzzer. We leave the end open- ended and because of this… well maybe that is why I can’t see an end to what I feel as though I barely started.

I Never Saw It In A Dream – But it Became Real

Five years ago – I didn’t dream of being here. I never imagined that I would be good enough to be where I am. But, I also never thought it would hurt this much to leave.

When your race ends, you walk away. In 5 years I have watched countless people walk away when it was their time to, but I never thought that watching them walk meant losing what it meant to be a part of a true and cohesive team.

One Team – No Longer a Dream

Three years ago I was part of a team, one that cheered and pushed and expected things of one another. Three years ago I was part of something bigger than myself, but today it just feels like I’m chasing that feeling like a dream deferred.

What happens to a dream deferred?

     Does it dry up
     like a raisin in the sun?
     Or fester like a sore—
     And then run?
     Does it stink like rotten meat?
     Or crust and sugar over—
      like a syrupy sweet?

     Maybe it just sags
      like a heavy load.

      Or does it explode?


We all know the feeling of a dream deferred. The feeling of watching something you love slip through your finger tips like the string of a balloon leaving your hand at a crowded park with no one to save it as it flies away.

I never thought of Track and Field as my dream deferred – I never thought of it as something that could turn sour, but today, as I watch something rot and crust and sag – I realize that this love, like all others in my life have blinded me to how broken it is.

I Cannot and Do Not Win Without Them – And THIS is why We Do Not Win at all.

People assume that Track is a solo sport – It isn’t, but then again you cannot spell “Field” without “I” and I often feel that the Field part of Track and Field is forgotten – so maybe it fits. Because some times outside of my squad I feel like an I in a crowd of we’s.

It’s funny though.

The word team doesn’t have “I” in it – but if you re-arrange the letters it can say “ME”. And when I realize that, it gets me thinking how “We” turned into “Me” and “me” turned into a losing battle against myself.

A No Win Situation

Most days I ask questions I shouldn’t, ones that lead my coach to tell me to keep my nose out of it. But I personally cannot sit on my hands and be happy when this is not the team I signed up for.


These are My Confessions

Today I am stuck. I am stuck watching people suffer because the sport they fell in love with is pushing them away as quickly as it held them close and honestly, I never thought it would be like that because two or three years ago it wasn’t.

Today I’m stuck. Stuck watching some fall to over confidence and others fail by not believing in themselves.

Today I’m waiting for something I used to have. Questioning if it was ever real in the first place and wondering if team is made by bonds among friends or by coaches who refused to take our shit.

Today I feel like I’m teetering on the edge of washed up and irrelevant, but tomorrow everything could change.

In Other Sports

In other sports we are made to stop when the buzzer fades, when the teams walk off the court – but in my sport we decide when to cross the finish line and while I can see mine inching closer, I still have too much to do to admit that it’s over.

In other sports they leave everything on the court, but in my sport I take control and me? I’ve just begun.

Boston Medios Rojas: To Be Proud of My City from Afar

“Medios Rojas Gano!!!”

I was walking through the streets with my Boston Celtics hat and every person would talk to me about the beauty of the “Medios Rojas” and how they won the World Series.

Each time, I couldn’t help but smile. Even this far away, I still keep this as a small piece of home. I streamed each game through Facebook, random apps, or if I got lucky, there’d be a good stream on Reddit available that day.

Boston is a city of winners. There’s a big fan base of Basketball and Baseball here in Colombia, and Football is growing as well. The names of our stars, Larry Bird, Paul Pierce, David Ortiz, Tom Brady, Kyrie Irving, Mookie Betts. They’re all recognizable here.

Whenever I introduce myself to people, and tell them that I went to college relatively close to Boston, they can’t help but wow in awe. At times, it makes me respect the place where I spent a lot of my formative years a little bit more. I spend hours on end talking about the T, dysfunctionality and all, it is still an amazing form of transportation. Late nights spent at Insomnia Cookies, the rush of energy flowing out of TD Garden, the sites and sounds just walking through the city. Watching the duckboats go by, passing the time away at the aquarium or abandoning your friends at the Museum of Science a little bit after midnight. Having a heart to heart in the parking lot of Tasty Burger. These are the memories that I cherish about Boston as well.

As big and famous as it is, I think Boston has a special niche to it that will always make it feel like home. It’s never too big to feel lost, but never too small. Congratulations Sox. Boston, you’ll always have a place in my heart. Until the next time we meet.

For the Love of the Sox (Update)

Waiting for the series to start, the late nights, early mornings i mean its always worth it because its  “For the Love of the Sox” but this is the World Series.

It has finally come and passed, and we again win a World Series. 


I can tell you sitting on my couch for the series was very painful to watch. I got up basically every at bat, screaming at the tv, basically looking like i was about to actually  play the ball. I even got a couple of residents to knock on my door to make sure i was Ok.

“Ok” isn’t a thing with a championship on the line.

Even the continuous text message of how stressed i was, to the point where i believed i threatened to become a chain smoker was tossed about. This series was so beyond stressful i can not imagine what it was like in 2004.

To watch a season culminate in the World Series is like a New Years Eve Recap of the year. You remember where you were when the season started, what you were doing, who you were. For me, i started this year in grad school, working towards a Masters degree, struggling through the stresses of capstone. It was really emotional to say the least. AS the summer went on i looked for a job and after many “almost not quite’s” with job interviews, i began to worry. I began to worry i wasn’t cut out for my field that the degree was a fluke. That’s why the 2018 Boston Red Sox mean so much to me. They became something i attached to, and embodied through an entire calendar year .

So when that final out came, i had all the emotions come to my mind. Basically sat down an shed a couple of tears. I am kinda happy no one saw me. I was a mess. The boys won  it all and i got to watch it unfold like a storybook. Priceless.

As the parade goes by today online in my office, i think i can after so many months breathe a small sigh of relief. The stress of finding a job, the stress of winning a World Series. The doubt that i didn’t belong, the doubt of losing the championship.

It was all just was washed away.

I couldn’t have been happier. Like i said before the Sox are the toast of the town, Boston’s baby boys; and when they win, we win. Isn’t it a great thing to see?