Tag Archives: Opinion

Kevin at a Desk

I Hate Being the Nice Guy

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It’s all fun and games until you get burnt.

Its not a hard concept to be a nice guy. You do the right thing, try not to let anyone down, and do things for the greater good. A nice guy extends his arm out every time and does what they can to make sure someone can succeed with the rest of the world. There are sometimes when the hand that feeds gets bitten and the nice guy finishes last. In my opinion, i try to get back to the root of why i help people and even when i get burnt in helping someone i still try to come back to my core beliefs.

But what happens when someone gets burnt a little too much?

This is what happens when you’re too much of a nice guy, you get tired of people walking over you. You get annoyed when you’ve done so much for a person and they cant appreciate the things you’ve done; a real “What have you done for me lately?” kinda mindset. You boil over and when you say something you look like the bad guy, the person that gave everything doesn’t get the credit they deserve. It poisons the mind and eats at the soul until you are consumed with the false reality that you were never good in the first place. But thats not true, you’ve just reach a compelling point in your where you are giving up the poison.

i finally reach a point where i realized i cant be the nice guy i have been for a long time. For the first time in a long time i cant play the guy who gives a lot to get a little, who worries about something out of my reach. Its making me lose my mind, and i’m sick and tired of not getting much out of anything. I hate the feeling that people do not see me doing good that i have always strived for and when i step away from my normality of being generous to them, trying to rest, they complain about how i never do anything for them. I give them everything on a silver platter and they complain about the shine.

Its about time i focus on being a nice guy to myself for the long run of things. i don’t want to walk away from helping people entirely but i see that i am not gaining what i thought i would by putting others first, so maybe its time i put the metaphorical book of others needs on the shelf and read a new story. It looks like for a while its gonna be a reflective time for myself to try and be selfish for once in my life and i mean in a good way. Its gonna take time to become adjusted to this new philosophy but hey i got my entire life to figure out myself.

I’m starting at the top of my list with the company i keep. The people i need to stay away from in my case are the ones who ask and really never give anything in return that makes me be a better human in the short life we have. i do not want to put all of myself out to help when they do not defend me in my times of need. But this is no eye . for eye my friends. Its just a simple yet complex action They got to go, it might be awkward at first but i gotta think whats best for me in the end. In the reverse sense i will uncover those who really make me better; at my job, as a person, as a family member, and in the general sense of the term. By stripping away the layers of things that take away from what makes me, me i find the real core of myself. The original layer so to speak.

If you’re in my boat i think you’ll find the first thing on your list may be different from mine and thats ok. To be a selfish person means not to give anything back to hold everything in for yourself. What we are doing is refining what we give and what we get, checking our source of joy and other things that makes us who we are as particular generous, nice people. By doing this we will lose things and people but thats ok, things like this happen naturally but since we are causing the purge so to speak it feels like we are doing it not out of self care but self hate and it looks worse to the people and things we choose to walk away from. They will think the worse of us and remember nothing but the bad even if we help them at their darkest hour. Do not think too much into this and remember that this will change things but you’ll be better on the other side.

Peace & Blessings My Friends

Kevin at a Desk

What it means to be Irish-American

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Quick history lesson:

Many Irish immigrants came over in due part to the work that was available, the brutal Irish Potato famine, and other numerous groups fleeing the mostly unwelcome British rule over the course of some 300 plus years. Coming to America was not always the easiest of choices to be made, many of the immigrants left everything and everyone to try and have a chance at a new life. There was an old saying when you left for America; the last night everyone saw you, it was basically a “Walking funeral” because many people would not see you ever again. Men, women, and yes even children made the long oceanic journey over the “pond”. Once they got here, didn’t always end well. Irish Americans were demonized and treated with terrible life conditions and anti Irish sentiment, including the infamous signs that read ” No Irish Need apply”. Even with all these issues, the Irish still found a way to thrive, helping build the west, and being one of the major keys to modern America (well at least the good parts). Irish Americans went above the prejudice and still found a way to make a living. So much so there was even and Irish American President elected in 1960.

Now that March has rolled around yet again and that means one thing to many people: Saint Patricks day.

Yes the disgusting green beer is flowing, all the people in the world claim they are .0000001% Irish so its their holiday, and the really dumb drunk people saying they can ” drink soooo much because i got that Irish drinking skill”. Anytime these comments pop up in a conversation, i get absolutely disgusted because they are just reiterating old statements that actually have no relevance. Like congrats you know a stereotype that you don’t even get.

There is so much more to being Irish than just the Americanized binge drinking and other nonsense. First off, drinking in Ireland and in Irish culture is not a way of getting drunk as we plan on doing on St Patricks day. Its a way to socialize, to celebrate and create a welcoming and friendly environment for those to meet new people celebrate life and settle debts. Its not just about the leprechauns running in the hills of four leaf clovers and pots of gold that lay at the end of an imaginary rainbow. These things that have been characterized and created as satirical have now leaked into the truth and have created an alternative back story.

So what am i trying to get at?

The real meaning of being an Irish American.

Being Irish is being prideful of the ancestors who were some of the toughest people history recounts. From fighting the famine to fighting for independence from the British Invasion, the descendants of the Irish immigrants have fight in our blood. It has not always been easy for us, so saying your something without understanding the strife and issue we have tackled makes me sick. I get that you’re trying to play off of a holiday and not being too offensive but at the same time i cant stand when treat this holiday as the sole representation of the entire culture of Irish Americans and the Irish culture as a whole.

Irish Americans are hard working individuals that have been working for all their lives, and in the jobs that might not have been always ideal but made a dollar to support the family. They started from the bottom of the food chain to reach a standard of being considered an average American. Irish Americans may have been beaten and battered but they never broke, and they never will. Sometimes too stubborn for their own good, yet wise beyond their years that sometimes got them in trouble yet would get them out in a heartbeat. Loving and caring that mades its genes giddy with the luck. The Irish American was and will always be a person of great integrity but never cross their way with words you cant back up. The Irish American is much more than one holiday out of the calendar They are a population that is true to who they are. Even as the generations of immigrants have children and grand children, the sentiment has been passed onwards to keep your head down and work, be prideful of who they are and to make sure they are always making things better, never worse for the next guy.

i am an Irish American grand child, grandparents came over in the 1920’s during a lot of the anti irish sentiment and yet i exist because they had the dream to make it in America. They had a dream, came here , and passed down the dream to my father and he passed it down to me.

Being an Irish American descendant has lead me to believe a lot of my personality traits come from. Im stubborn to the point where i get red in the face, i keep a good morale compass and i stick up for who i think deserves it. I think a lot of other things i do, and many of my friends have noted, draws upon my heritage just as many of us do. One of the things that have bothered me over the years of learning about my heritage is seeing all the anti Irish sentiment and hearing about stories. Hearing the things they would do, how the cops use to ’round them up in the “Paddy wagon”. I think even vermin would sometimes be treated better than Irish Americans.

However, dwelling on the past without a plan for the future is fruitless. The stories i have heard encourages me to be welcoming of those looking for a new place here in the United States, amending an injustice in my opinion. What i think today being an Irish American is to be the difference, welcome the new potential citizens and create an environment that is helping them achieve their dreams of starting a new life. We as descendants or Irish immigrants should not beat the next person down the ladder as history shows us, if anything we should be helping them up each rung and breaking the cycle. I know thats what my grandparents would have wanted.

So when you start drinking on St Paddy’s day, take a moment to think about what the Irish in America went through. it doesn’t have to be anything deep or self punishing, but take a moment to remember that this part of America, this party of her heritage is more than the green beer and telling the cute guy at the bar that you’re Irish. Think about all the strong Irish men and women ( trust me the women are a hell of a lot stronger than you think, but thats another post) who added to American culture and had an impact on the world It doesn’t even have to be someone famous, i know i wont thinking about a famous person. Ill be thinking of two other people.

Just two people who make me proud to be Irish.

Kevin at a Desk

Can i give you some advice?

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i like to think that we rely on our friends advice more than we do our own parents and sometimes sound logic. It trends in different directions depending on what we want or what the situation entails, and we always end up asking for advice. i like to think that i give decent advice when someone asks me what to do or what to ask someone, but i cant help but think that sometimes its either gibberish coming from my brain or something actually made sense to someone else (which always pleasantly shocks me).

Its seems like i seek out those who may need assistance all the time time when in fact i tend to find myself at the base of an issue that i may have heard about but never acted upon. Advice can be helpful but when the adviser is over bearing then the knowledge goes down the drain. To be giving advice you have to be in a good place and have a little bit of knowledge. When i give advice, i try to ask questions to make sure i don’t just say something that makes no reference to the conundrum. i have been burnt many a times when giving advice that wasn’t relevant anymore. These questions are critical when it comes to giving advice. The more you know the better luck you have with saying something right.

I just hope when i give advice, i am actually making someones life better and actually assisting them with their worries and quarrels. There will be times where i don’s get it right or the advice is not heeded to the full extent and its a realization that sometimes even with advice, you have to let people solve it themselves. What i have learned in the past is that there have been times where people relied on me for help and i have been at a loss for words, being to afraid to give them the hard truth or the soft lie, indecisive words event with a decisive mind. i try to map my words out in the seconds i have yet they get lost on the way to my vocal chords. I have tried to just say what i think in recent memory with very little thought to how i feel. If someone is asking for my help, the most i can do is give my two cents to their situation.

At the end of the day, i can only give advice and its up to the person receiving it to make the final call. Its hard to give advice that you feel is accurate to the situation but to them it could mean all the difference in their final actions. I just hope that some of my words make it to the proverbial wall of words that create a sense of direction in this crazy world.

Kevin at a Desk

Another Day, Another Bullet

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It happened again,

Another shooting.

Why does his happen every time, to people who don’t deserve it?

The families that now have to bury young men and women, and an officer who lived up to the code of the badge and gave everything. It pains too many people too often to see this happen again, again and again. We wont see any change anyways, we know the cycle all too well. Shock, mourn, argue, #neverforget, forget, mass shooting, repeat. It’s like a broken repeat button on God’s iPhone and He forgot the pass code to turn it off. Even after the recent elections, i still wonder if we will have any real change from anyone that is suppose to serve us. Not the gun organizations.

If you were like me, the news doesn’t phase you as easily as it use to. I don’t find sadness in the shock or grief in the first-hand accounts. “Oh well wasn’t me” is the casual mindset we have today, its a set in stone ideal that has become known as the common practice like its a religion or something. It needs to stop now. The lesson that we are taught needs to be refused and a change has to be made.

As young Americans, we walk around in fear of what could happen to us. We are no longer safe in theaters, malls, bars, for crying out loud we aren’t even safe in a school. A SCHOOL!! But this is the norm? this is the narrative we want to live with? Why can we not practice safety and sanity once in a while, i am telling you change is not always bad. We need to be protecting our youth, ourselves, and everyone around us.

Now i like to say this is not a total anti-gun rant.

My opinion, in general, is very grey area, middle of the road thoughts. I believe we the average american do not need assault rifles, automatic weapons, or anything that is crazy above the norm. However, i believe that people deserve the opportunity to posses a handgun, something within reason. I know there are good people who take the consistent safety class, hours of classroom and range work, and they understand that although a right, it is not something that should be put above the lives of others.  Its the people that put guns above lives that need to be changed. My opinion is not popular, on either side, and ill probably get some strong worded calls and texts after reading this, but its what i believe and isn’t it fair to let me make my peace in this crazy world?

In the end, this blog that me and all of my fellow writers try to write about and express our opinions is about adulting and being very, very awkward about it. But what rulebook change or memo did we miss that adulting had to include mass shootings and fearing to leave our homes just because someone couldn’t put a life above a gun?

What i ask of those reading this, is do something to change this crazy dilemma, be the deciding factor. Get involved to make a good change not just change because you can. Make it change that helps that is good and just. Just stop sitting by the wayside waiting for it to happen.

 

I don’t have any more words to write for you today, no more thoughts,

but maybe you have some actions for me?