All posts by Kevinatadesk

I am usually a man of few words

A Motivational Moment


in this moment are capable of many great things.

You can be what ever you want as long as you set the three major things to your desires;

Heart. Mind. Soul

The three ingredients.

Maybe add water, sweat or elbow grease for better consistency and results.

That’s the way.

I am not going  to sit here and tell you how special you are, that’s not in the rules of life.

I want you to stand there and make  me watch you chase glory.

Show me Don’t tell me.

Stop wasting time fixing time fixing fake problems that are not yours.

You got to get going.

Sure life will get you down and knock you out from time to time

But it is always the will of the fighter that determines when the bell rings

Are you gonna be a person who hears the bell because of you or for you?


Now, i want you to stop what you are doing and look around.

Times are tough i know you can see that but what are you gonna do about it?

Want to change it. Good you should be excited to change it.

But what are you gonna do behind twitter fingers?

Stop tweeting complaints for a complicit audience and challenge the narrative.

It does not have to be political but take the risk to change something out there

Your workplace, your relationships, yourself.


What you want in this world is up for the taking all day, everyday

What prevents you and many others from reaching it is the sacrifices you make

Sometime you are gonna have to get up at 5 AM to go to work to provide for yourself, your family.

You are gonna have to stop going out weekends to focus on a second degree

But remember the things you cant sacrifice, remember the people that wont come back.

You’re gonna sacrifice a lot of things to gain success.

Just don’t let it take your soul.


So now whats motivating you today?

Get going now and don’t stop for nothing.

I’ll see you at the top.



Saving the Best for Last

You think your best friends are the ones from your freshmen floor, first year seminar class, or even your dinning hall crew. In the course of four years, your first friends fade away from your college social circle and you see them walking through the halls or the random parties you attend during the years. In those times you feel like nothing changes but yet the actions are in motion and you lose the friends you thought you would have post grad.

I can speak from experience that i very rarely see people from my first year floor. Its not the fact that we argued or did anything wrong, we just drifted apart. It was not like i stopped talking with them, they always gave me the time of day. Its was the fact that some left, some ignore us and and others just changed; its a fact of life that change was due. I made different friends over my three years but i think one of the most memorable one i made was in senior year


Chris here is your shout out!

I met Chris in May of 2016 during our time volunteering for graduation at Merrimack College. I knew of him based on stories told to me and the brief time i knew him in the Love Your Mellon crew before he went abroad for the spring semester of junior year. When i met him in that May i knew a lot about him while he had no idea who i was. Funny, because when i saw him in June for orientation i had no idea what his name was and he remembered everything.

Great start right?

What developed over time was a genuine friendship that transformed into a brother type relationship. We  would spend countless hours sending texts with really stupid photos to each other or we call late at night to ask what the fuck is going on in our lives after not speaking for like two weeks at a time. Yeah one of those types, the ones no one teaches you. The ones they say are mythical at times. We have been there for everything, the highs and lows and all the crazy shit that happened in senior year, stuff we would only tell in person (Hint; one involves a shoe). You cant find this anywhere else.

I like to think senior year friends/ relationships are some of the best you can have because you don’t have anything to prove anymore. The first two years of college you are reinventing yourself to fit a new mold that is being made by your experiences. By junior year the mold is solidifying and who you are and your reputation is basically set in stone. So when Senior year rolls around you know who you mesh with and who you don’t. In my case and a lot of other cases, we found someone that gets how we roll with things in life. Its the kind of bond you wanted all those years ago when you were basically a nobody looking to fit in. The bond you find as most authentic ones are indescribable to just anyone but you find a way to explain it in the end. The best things are the ones that take the longest to find in my opinion. Maybe it is the collapse of your time within the hallowed walls of college, but i feel as if you are not concerned of the little stuff as well.

You don’t worry about the schedules or activities, if anything you share in their passions and become a part of what they love.

Basically to those in senior year, the best is truly yet to come. What transpires your senior year really sets the pace for your post graduate experience. If you find someone that you never talked with until senior year and you really mesh well and creates a great aurora between you two, hold tight to that. Explore that a little further and take all the time you can to really get to know them. They will be the ones you seek out in the  what can only be described as the best of times and even the worst of times.

Even after all this time and all this searching, they were there all along

For the Love of the Sox

They are the team that gets you up in the morning.

This team will take you on a wild ride, through the dog days of summer and into the fall classic. Then just as you are about comfortable with the team, they break your heart.

They are the heart breakers those Boston Red Sox, but it is a pain that we fans put up with every year.

I am part of the lucky generation, the generation where i only had to endure 10 of the 86 year “Curse of the Bambino” and had the 2003 season to cry over.

Yes, there is crying in baseball.

What the Sox mean to us is more than any other sports team in the world has, its the ability to define the odds and break the odds in 2. Like the American spirit, we may get things thrown at us and our odds dwindle, but we find a way some how to keep moving on. Its in our blood. That doesn’t mean there isn’t room for heartbreak

Growing up in part of the heart of Boston, you grow up a Red Sox fan.

Period. End of Story.

Unless of course your parents grew up somewhere else and you fall into their fandom. As a kid, you dream of going to the Red Sox games, just walking up the tunnel your first time is something to behold. I can remember the first time my father took me to a baseball game. The smell of the stands, the crackerjacks, the loud sounds of the bat hitting the ball, its just a magical timeless act. You dream of catching a foul ball and you just take everything in. Every little thing about the Sox can affect your life, Especially after a heart breaking trade (looking at you Nomar).

As you get older, you analyze the game more and your favorite player changes over time and you become truly anointed into Red Sox Nation. The in depth Podcast (Section 10 in the Building!) and the old time classic players transitioning to the analysis broadcast teams, you really start to look at the small details, the averages, the on base percentage, the nitty gritty stats.  You become more aware and go in-depth and engulfed in the game and it stings even more when you have to wait for opening day the next year no matter the result. We even skip work or pull our kids out of school for a day just to see a game in the brisk spring days. Honestly, Boston and all of New England should have opening day off, or at least a half day.RedSox1

What the Sox can mean is a lot more than just a baseball team.

The Red Sox have been a centralized landmark in Boston’s culture for over 100 years. When we have personal tragedy, triumph, or rough days at work, the Red Sox are always a way we can connect generations and bring back good times and fond memories.The games and the team have  always been a staple even in Boston’s darkest hour. During the recovery after the Boston Marathon Bombings, the team became a sign of hope and healing. From the Boston Strong Motto that we still use, to the honoring of the first respondents. Even Big Papi’s speech was healing. In Boston’s cathedral of Fenway Park,  we came together to find some sort of regularity, something we as a city could find that could relieve the horrors of the times and get a smile on our bleak faces. The season led to the top, culminating in the world series being won at Fenway for the first time in 95 years. Indescribable.

The Sox are Boston’s baby boys, the talking points (either good or bad talk), the toast of the town.

We love them, because they are us. They are the working men and women of America just in a different uniform. They represent what we hold dear in our values and our hard work and determination. Even if they get knocked down and banged around, they still get up on their feet and keep moving forward.

Now, on the cusp of the 2018 ALCS win we have a chance once again to take the crown, and look forward to another title in Title-town USA. Don’t expect we will act like we have been here before; I still think all of Boston will be on the edge of their seats, screaming at the TV and saying their Hail Mary’s, even with experience under our belts and even going into the World Series with one of the best teams assembled since 2013, there will always be a nervous overtone to Red Sox Nation.

Its just the reminisce of a lost curse that stung for too long.

Get Up and Get Out

Have you ever had a real adventure?

The type that you get to experience a new thing or see a different way of life? It is exhilarating when you get to travel especially in your 20’s. You don’t have a lot that ties you down or keeps you from the adventures of the world, except one major thing…

We don’t have a lot of Money to our name.

WE are scrapping for every penny that comes our way to pay debt off or to just keep our heads afloat in a broken market. Its difficult to take the time for us to explore and get to experience new cultures and new things on a budget. What i think is that you need to take time for yourself and be free of work, however you don’t need to go that far abroad to experience something new. I think its time we explore our own country before we get our passports and start practicing our really bad Italian.

The United States has so much to offer and you don’t even need a big budget to explore the states. You honestly need a car, a few good friends and a little bit of time (Both to travel and time off from work). In my life i have been able to explore the entire Eastern seaboard and the Gulf Coast all by driving with family. We were able to experience the southern cuisine, the nightlife, the experience of not freezing in the winter (Thanks Louisiana) and basically getting me out of my comfort zone very early on in life. I know there are numerous other places in the United States i want to go to, like the Midwest to go see pond Hockey, or the southwest to see the Grand Canyon, or even more of California to catch the legendary Rose Bowl game (and maybe even the rose bowl parade). The point is there are so many different states we can venture to without even leaving the states.

However, i think going abroad young is still unique because there is some certain excitement traveling abroad by yourself for the first time.

If you are looking for a different point of view, going abroad is your answer, it is just in my opinion that you should rethink where you go o. Go somewhere where not every 20 something goes like Ireland and Italy (or at least go for a different reason than to be a drunk American abroad)be different and avoid the tourist traps. Go some where in Europe like Germany or Poland, Finland, Iceland, etc somewhere it is uncommon to travel to, somewhere that you don’t hear traditional american tourist like to huddle around. I hope to, in the near future, to go over to Europe and go into the northern parts like Norway and Sweden, i think that’s the right way around for a guy like me. However, i still think you should go to places like Ireland and Italy, just not for the reason of getting hammered. Learn the culture the history the reason they are who they are today. Especially if you descend from the countries, make it a heritage walk and learn from your families past.

All in all you don’t need to spend money to make a good vacation or time away you can enjoy it close to home.

Just make the effort to get up and get out

Golden Days

For these golden days, in old fashion

The winds are blowing again

It’s rattling the leaves, shaking them free of their rooted shackles

Falling ever so graciously to the frosted ground that will soon be frozen in time.

They lay there and are sentenced to the end.

As a child i have always wondered why the colors were so vibrant

Such a True Red always caught my eye and never let me look away,

Never letting me go through

Now that the cycle begins again,

The beauty of looking into the day with colors so vibrant makes a work life dole bearable.

The world is windy now a days, gone is the satisfying breeze.

The days are full of cold rain delays and phases of haze

The colors are not vibrant today

I can not see my reds, golds, and the rare orange.

But i still hold out hope to see the winds change sooner than never

I hear others are starting to notice they can’t see the leaves now

I wonder if they ever saw them as i did, or is this their first time noticing their faceless beauty?

The other day i noticed something,

A warmer breeze rushed over the land, clearing the haze

I was taken aback from this and started to shout to the others to come see,

but they said it was too cold and the haze was not gone

I sense the winds are changing, i have seen it coming 

Seems like warmer breezes lay upon the horizon for some

while others shall need a jacket.

I am a Cynic


  1. believing that people are motivated by self-interest; distrustful of human sincerity or integrity.

I got called a cynic in my college freshman year theology class by oddly enough one of my favorite professors ever. “Mr. Gill, the cynic” he said to the class. I like the ring to that, but i really did not think that i was a cynic and until in recent years it has grown on me because well;

I agree with it.

I am a proud cynic because i have lost faith.  I lost faith in people when it became apparent to me that motives beat out mankind’s desire to help thy neighbor. We put our own gains above the needs that are mattering the most in this world. I am just sick of it and i doubt what can be true or what can be used for gain. It seems like nothing i true an even tho you are my comrade, i think your motives will promote you and damage me. The other aspect of being a cynic is we keep the world honest. WE do not take the world at face value, we want evidence, we want all the things that can make something worth it so we can be the judge of it. Sometime things can get passed off too quickly because they look good and not realistic. That is not how this works, that’s not how any of this works. You have to be realistic and not give the people bs.

I guess you can say its a bad way to look at humanity and its similar to looking through dirty glasses, the picture isn’t all that clear. You can say the fact that i need to look on the brighter side of life or i need to get a attitude change. Maybe that’s a valid point or maybe you are not seeing what i am saying.

I do not look for the bad in people, i just believe 9/10 they do selfish things. I feel as if they do not want to mutually succeed with the rest of humanity. Like how hard is it to be honest and sincere to each other? If we were better at this i don’t think i would be so cynical of this world. I don’t see enough of the selfless acts and i understand that not all is seen, but why do we hide these acts? Why not do something nice in the open so all can see. You don’t need a medal or a key to the city in thanks, but we can start to express gratitude in simplistic ways. I am a cynic because i have seen people who say they would do anything for someone but when i ask for help i get sent through the metaphorical wringer to get a sliver of what i gave earlier. I don’t stand the fakers. My opinion will not be lenient people suck. I am not perfect, i will be first to call my imperfections out but calling yourself a saint does not cleanse you of the sin. You cant say things and let down on your word. Its all you have in this world.

To say the least, i am the happiest man when i get proven wrong. Its what we want to be, is proven wrong. I love to be proven wrong by something that upstages my cynicism about people. “Did that person really return that money? they did, wow.” Something along the lines of that is great or when we get a upstanding politician in the world for a change. (Thanks Norm). When you can prove a cynic wrong, i like to think you corrupt our perception of the world. Which in this case is a good thing. I think it should be a thing to actively try and corrupt cynics. It makes the world a little better. We are the ones who have lost faith, lost trust in sincerity, and it should be society who brings us back into a different mindset. Until that happens, ill sit in my rocking chair and just try to trust again but ill enjoy my cup cynicism in the morning because its what taste best to me.

Late Notice

OK. Stop me if you heard this one before. You apply for the job, get an interview (maybe even a second) and you wait to hear back. Then you’re stuck to wait and wait, and wait, and wait, and wait until finally!!!!

They don’t have an opening anymore.

GOD does this bug me!

I am hired and working happily at a place where i love to go to work every day, work with great co workers, and in my biased opinion  have the best supervising role for ten outstanding kids. What gets me going is the fact of how the companies, or where ever we choose to work, they perch you up next to others on a shelf and drop people into the trash as they figure out who’s the best candidate for the job however what i get upset is when good talent is forced to rot on that shelf. You wait for a job that you really want and you are forced to wait even if you send out applications to other institutions or places of work. Its unfair to you, the applicant, when waiting becomes your worst enemy especially after you have the second round interview where you have the most hope of landing the job.

It is not that hard to say no thank you. 

I rather be told upfront that i am not fit for the job or they like someone else. I get to move on with my search and they get their person. It is that simple. It is not like that, you get left to sit up on a shelf helpless until you get a response.  I know many good people who are still looking for a job but they get hung out to dry with the jobs and even tho i am biased, i can still tell who is a good catch for employers. Even Gibbs from the CBS Show “NCIS” has a great rule about this kind of stuff. ” YOU DONT WAIST GOOD” Yet people will waste good until its going going gone.

My favorite thing is now that i am employed, i am getting a lot of feedback from the places i interviewed giving me the automatic HR response. I just mark it as spam at this point. Its not even worth writing back to them or acknowledging it because it is a opportunity that has long passed. I am happier where i am now that i was ever going to be in these other places that left me with a notice that is long overdue.

Now, I am guessing if you are reading this, you’re experiencing the same thing.

What i advise you to do is keep pumping out those resumes and get into those phone interviews. Especially if this is your first real world, post college job you have to be very proactive for that job. If you wait around then you are letting yourself rot on a shelf. Once you apply there will be waiting periods, but this doesn’t mean you have to wait around. Start prepping what you are gonna say in the interview, how you want to look on a Skype interview, or what connections you have to the organization you are applying for that you can somewhat get activated. Basically start the fire and keep your irons in to prepare for what might happen. If the company takes their sweet time with a response and you feel like you are getting stale, take the risk and get off the shelf. You do not have to take this systems crap, you can move on to another place, maybe that is where you were meant to be.

Basically, their late notice is their loss.

Why does it have to be your leash?

Let’s Talk

” I hope you are doing well and i hope to hear from you soon, just remember if you need anything, let me know”

Common words spoken lead to actions that are common I guess?

It’s Mental Health awareness week, and it is the reminder of the fact that you are not alone in this world. In your darkest hour, there will be candles lit for you to follow every mile you walk. You may feel out of place, like being on a deserted island in your own mind and yet you have a person on each shoulder waiting for you to say the word and guide you to the mainland. It’s a fact

The fact is that 1 in 5 people will experience mental health problems in their lifetime. That’s about 43 million people in the United States for my mathematicians out there. It’s a big number and we are starting to realize the impact of mental conditions such as anxiety, depression, and others but some to say the least. I can tell you that seeing the number for the first time was very disheartening and concerning. What was going on? why was this so high and what are we doing? I like to think these are the first questions we contemplate over the first few times we rationalize the impossible. I think the question does stand still whenever we contemplate it because we think this is a solvable problem overnight, or at least we wish it was. The fact is that we are breaking the stigma around the talks we should be having concerning mental health.

The conversation is never easy, never fun, and it gets hard when you have to ask your closest friend. Just because you are afraid to have the conversation about mental health does not make you a weak person.

If we had this conversation mastered, then we would know the secrets to the universe as well.

These conversations are hard for a lot of us, and those who may have them on a daily basis or are at least trained for them it gets harder each person they talk with. Each story they hear, each ounce of pain weighed, every discussion has its impact upon everyone who is involved in the conversation. Sometimes it gets to us hearing so many stories,m and we need to have the conversation about ourselves. Anyone from a friend to a therapist can be someone that can be a listening ear for those who need help. We forget sometimes that those who help with mental health do not do enough for themselves and their well being. Even myself, where in my profession we are considered as people who can hear stories and help those out who are dealing with mental health.

Sometimes I just wish that i could be as good to myself as i am for others.

I do not treat myself very well. I do not seek help, i do not ask, and i suffer for it. I know my resources to the letter, i know what is there i just can not bring myself to “Burden” others even the ones who get paid to do this as a job. I think when i think of mental health i want to think of others first and put mine off to the side until it overflows like boiling pot of water. Until it gets there i do not pay attention to it, maybe a sad song will fix it, and that’s not right and i know it, you know it, everyone knows it. Its been my mission over the past two years to get my head on straight and try and keep it there. I have made progress but its a journey not a trip. Good days stay and bad days come and go.

We write a lot on this blog about adulthood, especially the millennial generations cause well we are them. IN this generation mental health has become a foreground discussion and we are going to be the generation that breaks the stigma around the “IT” or our mental health. I just know it. What we will struggle with is the realization is that the helpers do not help themselves. The helpers will put off everything until it goes too far and “boils over.”

We need to get better at the fact that we matter as well as others.

If we can make common actions happen then the words to spur those soon to be common conversations on our view on mental health would change. This week should be about others but in reality you matter just the same, we love you and its OK to have a conversation about you. It’s what matters the most.

Welcome Home

Could a phrase mean more than just that?

(First off, i would like to thank Kenney, Shannon, and Campus Ministry for allowing me to experience Nazareth Farm, now on with the regularly scheduled blog post)

We commonly hear it during the times after a long vacation, or coming home from college, or even in sarcasm (Yup that is my mom alright). But what it could mean to a select few, means an experience unlike any other?

In Early 2018, a group i was very fortunate to Co-advise for an Alternative Winter Break to Nazareth Farms ,West Virginia. (Yes, i already know as I said this you are looking up John Denver’s hit song ” Take Me Home, Country Roads” I mean its a jam anyways.) The Alternative Break was designed to give back to communities within the Appalachian mountain region of West Virginia. Sounds straight forward right? Seems like a 2-D Service Trip through a service site?


Nazareth Farms was one of the best sites for service i think students can go to. First off, the staff is one of the most welcoming you’ll ever meet. Basically right when you get off the van you are greeted with a hug and “Welcome Home”. You do not know this person or this place (especially if you get in at 8 pm and in the dark like we did) and they welcome you home like a long lost family member. It is interesting to say the least. You find out as you get there that other schools alternative break programs and your instant thought is ” Oh, well i guess then i may just introduce myself to the them then ill stay with my group.”

Wrong again.

Instantly you just start talking with the different student and staff members and find similarities that start long conversations that last well into the timeless night. Oh yeah time, forget it, you do not need it when your down here, or phones, or any technology for that matter. You are enjoying yourself so much that you do not need this stuff. (Also there isn’t any WIFI but that is beside the point.) The experience of staying up late, talking, playing guitar and singing along. Its one of the greatest times i think a student can have during their down time.

The work you do with Nazareth Farms is unbelievable, you do so much in such little time with such diversity of tasks. One day you may be ripping down old dry wall and setting up new stuff, you may be painting, you may even do minor electrical work, or you could be cleaning Nazareth Farms and preparing the meal for the night. Its such a different way to give back than i have ever seen. Its really rewarding that although the families that may have been less fortunate, they are appreciative and always believe they are more fortunate with Nazareth Farms around and when students and staff like us take time that we could be spending with our loved ones after the holidays and spend it giving back to the community that was not our own.

For those who have gone to down to “NAZ Farm” its one of the best experiences we got to have within the realm of service. The loving nature of the staff and crew to the people who help serve the community to the families we work with. Everything seemed magical during this time and it really created a sense of bonding both between the individual school and the community as a whole group. I think everyone would agree that the hardest thing is leaving this great place and going back to ordinary life. What the Farm teaches you is that everyone has to “come down the mountain” or end their experience at one point or another, but they are always welcomed to “Come Home.” I think this was one of the best wrap ups to the week of service i have ever seen. The idea of you have to go but you can always come back is one of the best send off messages i have ever received on a service trip. It is one that will stay with a lot of us for a while.

West Virginia_1

The picture above shows a group of students that made me stay within Higher Education. When i accepted the opportunity to Co- Advise on this service trip, i had a lot of questions that i needed answered for myself. Am i a good leader?, Am i someone who people will follow, Am i respected, the list goes on and on. Basically i viewed this trip as a gut check so to speak. I figured i am so high strung about the future that i needed a test.


What i felt at the beginning was anxiety that i was not a good leader that i was some what doomed to fail. Nazareth Farms was the turning point for me. I can remember during a time where i was the driver of the van, that i was in control and the people within the van trusted me to drive the van safely. That meant the world to me. People trusted me to get something done. Then as we left the farm, i drove all the way from West Virginia to North Andover MA with everyone trusting me to get them home safely, I considered this the passing of my own test, and it was all in relation to the Farm. Even today i start my staff meetings with ” Its Good to Be Here” “Its great to be here” Shout Out. (You know the call 🙂 )


Nazareth Farms, it is home to me and so many others because of what it can do for a person. It can re invigorate you to continue the great work you already do, it can create new thoughts and ideas, or can change you to be a better person in a world where you can make a difference even if its just a day of honest work. Service trips are designed for students and others alike to get the taste of what its like giving back without really feeling the presence of the work they do. Nazareth Farms Brings a community to surround you, welcome you, and to add to your own sense of belonging both in a wider range of the community and within the Nazareth Farms community. I do not think you can get service trip like this very often. If you have the opportunity to visit please accept the moment you are able to,  you will never regret going.

Even after so many months away, As i sit here writing this i can not help and think of Nazareth Farms and what it as able to do for both me and everyone else who was able to attend this wonderful place so thank you to the great staff that runs this place day in and day out.

SO to those who have been and those who will go

Welcome Home 26814895_565130677155706_5042406003603574494_n


Up in Smoke

In too many drinks, deeper and deeper i tread

The room becomes pressurized with the flow of alcohol fueled, anxiety driven young people.

I cant stand the choking, the haze that i am in

I push my way out of the crowd as if hiding in plain sight

That wasn’t my scene,  no director was telling me to restart that one.

As i walk towards the dimly lit bench hidden by a hill

I open up my package of cigarettes,

Flick open the old lighter that my grandfather gave me

The one that saw so many tragedies

It has a scar that runs from the top of the lighter all the way down its spine

You need to turn the flint a couple of times for it to light

A lights so warm you forget of the troubles

I guess it takes after its owners.

The tobacco touches the tip of the torch,

And the crackle of the chemicals cringes my lungs

but its how i breath,

its how i fly

I know this is how i end up in the ground unannounced

But the smoke clears my mind, relieves what i can not hold in

Maybe in a cloud of uncertainty, 

With the booze bringing in the nightmares

i am just trying to smoke them out.




I wish I Had Known

If I had known what was going wrong,

I would have been there


If I had seen what you were feeling,

the winds around would have spun me a tornado strong enough to save you

and I would have taken a whole barn out of its place to find you, comfort you.


These days I am more angry than sad

No longer able to stand knowing what happens to good people.

But Of course, I am late to the funeral, And it seems to be a trend.

And God! it burns a hole in my head!

Because I would have done something, anything,

If only

And I wish I knew how you are feeling, even though I’ll never comprehend it

And I wish I knew what goes on in your thoughts when the darkness seeps neath closed doors and windows,

And even if you do not want it –

I will try to hold a candle out for you to take. To burn away what hate hath break –


You see

When the time comes I just hope someone can hold me back

And tie me up in the thickest of chains,

For if this ever happens to someone I care about, I will hunt them till the ends of the earth


And you may pray that an Earthly force will hold me back.

But Even I doubt that.


Now I can take some sort of stand to amend for my sins

Even though they do not stain my own soul.



May God have my back,

May you have my reason

May I never again not know 

How you are Doing.




What if You Jumped Forward 5 years?

What if in the blink of an eye, you teleported five years into the future. It looks the same as you left it but you feel out of place and the people that you have been around you barely know who you are. How would life really be in the future?

Could you imagine not seeing a loved one for almost five years? What have they been up to? Did they get married and start a family or did they get that promotion that was sought after for years? The underlining questions and answers would create such a void of knowledge and emotions that could not be understandable.

The human functionality lives their lives day in and day out with only moment to dream about the future and reminisce about the past. To jolt it forward without expectation can be damning to the spirit.

All the goodbyes you never got to say to your loved ones in those five years. All the love you had for the special someone in your life. All the change you could have implemented for others, all the good. Gone. In an instant . It leaves the thought of the advantage for jumping ahead, what could that be?

What if you cheat death? What if you are revered for your work and reap the benefits from it? What if you get to see your grandson or grand daughter be born and actually have time for their growth? Was this the best thing that happened to you?

I think we all would wish for the thought of jumping ahead in time, to see what we might not have seen before. What is the damning part is the growth that happened around your time missing, like a old building being overtaken by vines and recaptured by the earth. You give up five years worth of memories, fun, pain; the whole life experience. Could you really settle for skipping out on life?

On the other hand, we could take this opportunity to see what may not be seen. The advancements of both man and machine. What wonders await you if the choice to take the journey was there. The feeling of immortality lays softly at your feet, seeing those around you age and you not a day. Could that even be withstood by humans? or is it a sheltered dream for us to borrow extra humanity?

Time will never be understood by man, woman, child, dog, cat, or anything in between. We will always want more of it while reminiscing of time we have already spent. It is an impossible question of going forward in time while also keeping the time we lose in the process. This is the biggest problem with this time travel thought.

On this journey, there is no return trip, its one way.