Videos

Higher Thoughts, Relationships

Know Your Worth

Video 1 Comment

There are two types of people I see recently, those who know their worth and are confident and those who think they know their worth and are OVERconfident. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, we live in a time where everyone is trying to out due the next; and at the end of the day still aren’t happy. I don’t just mean this when it comes to dating but with work, friends, school, and even our own families. Always trying to please people, and for what exactly? For their approval? Why is it that we put so much pressure on our own happiness, solely based on others.

I’ve asked a few people what makes them happy and they always list peoples names, hardly ever do people say their health, job, pets, concepts, etc. In particular people always say the person they are in a relationship with is usually their main reason for their happiness. So your telling me you were miserable before you got into that relationship? Interesting. We all know the phrase

“You can’t love someone else till you love yourself”

But do you ever consider that before jumping into dating or any sort of relationship? Probably not.

What people need to understand is that no one should be the reason for YOUR own happiness. They should contribute to it but they shouldn’t be the whole reason why they’re happy. Because guess what, when it ends or a fight occurs, it feels like they didn’t just leave, but your happiness left with them. Its like if your with someone and they tell you that you are beautiful all the time and then you break up, do you stop being beautiful? NO! But you have to know that before hand! Which is what I mean when I say

“Know Your Worth”

I don’t just mean it when it comes to look, but know what you are truly worth, look deep inside yourself. I know that can be hard for some people to do because they may not always like what they see but, hey that’s you. All 100%, wonderful, incredible you!

Like I said earlier this doesn’t just apply to dating, but to all sorts of relationships, that means friends, coworkers, family, and more. If you feel like you are being treated unkindly or walked all over its okay to walk away. It okay to separate yourself from what could be a toxic situation, doesn’t mean you’re giving up, but somethings take time to heal and some things aren’t always worth the energy. What is meant to be, will be. And what is meant to end, will end.

One big thing I have learned is that some people are put into our lives to help us through certain parts, and once they have dones their job it may be time for that relationship to end. Don’t get salty and petty about it or them, but

“look back and appreciate the times you had together and the lessons learned.”

If they stay in your life then that’s great, that’s what was meant to be. But I always say

“you can’t force someone to stay where they don’t want to be”

We are all growing and put on certain paths, which some are meant to walk alone. Not everybody can be so lucky to try new things with those they feel comfortable with. But in my opinion they might not be lucky in that instance.

“How can you find yourself, when you aren’t alone?”

I believe that sometimes the most growth happens to us when we are put in situations where we are the most scared and lost.

Just know that who you are is who you are meant to be, we are always changing and through our lives, and with that comes some people won’t like that; and they don’t have to. But they don’t have to bring you down either. Know who you are, know what you deserve, and know your worth. Doesn’t mean your better than anyone else, but doesn’t mean you should allow others to treat you any less than what you deserve. And definitely don’t give anyone the satisfaction of being the sole reason to why you are happy. Look at yourself in the mirror and reflect, that means see the beauty and see the ugly. Improve yourself everyday, and for those who don’t like what they see in you, let them go. Don’t hold on because you want to stop change, becuase sometimes change can bring the best outcomes.

Know. Your. Worth.  

Higher Thoughts, Relationships

What is dating nowadays?

Video Leave a comment

Let’s be honest, dating is hard nowadays. Well not hard but not easy and definitely too complicated. It’s not as simple as just saying two people like each other and should start from there. Nope. You have to like the same type of shows, music, hobbies, style, brands, animals, colors, and more; and you have to agree on all that before you meet in person or even date. Not like you go on a date to get to know the person, nope that’d be unheard of. To actually spend time dating and then see if you two want a relationship with each other,

“nope because people fear wasting their

time.”

 Call me old fashioned but when I think of dating someone it isn’t just to kill time or because I’m lonely; I actually take it seriously. I don’t mean I viewing every relationship as “I may marry this person” but I know that it’s a commitment and takes time and effort. I just don’t understand how some people can bounce from one “serious” relationship to the other. How can someone jump right into another relationship after being “committed” and “invested” to someone else just weeks prior? Well here’s why, maybe, just maybe it’s because they weren’t really committed or invested to that person to begin with. They were committed to the idea of being with someone because it can be scary to be alone. Especially when you are constantly surrounded by those happy couples we see online. Because let’s be honest,

“Nothing’s official till it’s social media official”.

But do you really think those people are happy? In my opinion a relationship works best when the least amount of people are involved in it. In other words it should only include those two people!!!

Why is it that we live in the generation of having to show everyone everything? Why must we all gloat about who has the better life, or even worse, boasting about whose life sucks the most? Since when did being in a relationship have to be always being with that person; and if they aren’t together all the time or in constant communication, it meant they “fell out of love”.

No, just no, a relationship doesn’t mean talking all day everyday, it doesn’t mean posting about each other 24/7, and it definitely doesn’t mean spending every waking moment with each other and dropping everyone and everything around you for someone else.

A relationship doesn’t always have to be moving forward, it’s okay to be at a stand still for a while. It’s ok to be separate and live separate lives, its okay to spend time with your friends, and its okay to hold onto what makes you, you. You were who you were before that relationship happened and you still are during and after it.

“A relationship is two separate people coming together and sharing moments, not being the same person and living the same life.”

You’re never going to find your perfect match so stop looking! A relationship takes time, it can’t be found on an app, can’t be made with social media, and certainly doesn’t work if there is no trust. But hey ever think there’s no trust because trust takes time? And if you’re jumping from one person to the next it won’t work? Everything takes time, especially when it’s getting to know someone else.

We are told the the trick to a happy and long lasting relationship is communication, but is there such a thing as over communication? YES

“Personally I don’t understand how people can text and call each other all day everyday, talking non-stop; because once you are physically with them what is there to talk about?”

It’s like our generation skipped the phase of relationships, where you actually go on dates and get to know the person. I don’t just mean “netflix and chilling” either, I mean an actual date where you stick it out even if you aren’t feeling anything. Scary I know! Actually being face to face with someone, being forced to enjoy each other’s company and not being able to hide behind a phone or filter! Terrifying!!!! Or how about actually going up to someone and asking for their number or just striking up random conversation? In this day and age, I don’t think so!! Right off the bat you’ll be called “thirsty” or “a creep”. It’s like you can’t win!

Dating is scary nowadays, and technology has not made it easier. I swear technology is the reason dating has changed. Now with social media being at its peak, you’re never sure if the person your with has 50 people sliding into their DM’s, or liking other people’s “questionable” photos. It’s so easy today to just move on it seems.

“It’s like ever since sex was easier to get, love is harder to find”

I remember growing up and hearing stories from my grandparents on what dating was like in the 50’s. Now that sounds like my kind of dating, where a date could be as simple as going for a ride in the car and just talking all night; and if you were lucky you got to even hold hands! But today, its like you meet on an app, meet up at someone’s house (because god forbid you go in public), turn on netflix, then BAM sex. Just like that, no effort was put in, the sex didn’t mean anything to anyone; you just leave and one person hopes the other one texts them the next day. Pretty sad if you ask me. No chase anymore, no respect, and yet that’s what everyone is doing nowadays. Then people complain that they feel used, disrespected, and cheap. WELL DUUHHH, did you really think that was the foundation for a relationship?

“Everyone wants that picture perfect relationship but without any of the work”

Dating is a concept of truly opening yourself up to someone, allowing them to see all of you even, the sides of you that aren’t the prettiest. But what I have learned is that those who truly see your ugly sides and still chose to stay, those are the ones we should hold onto. Because in reality no one is perfect, and we are constantly changing and learning new things about ourselves our whole lives. Dating should take time, it should mean something to both people, and by all means it should be something that takes effort and work.

Higher Thoughts

The Simplicity of 4am

Video Leave a comment
flight landscape nature sky
Photo by Pixabay on Pexels.com

A letter to my brain that wakes up at 4am every morning; why? Ever since I can remember I would always wake up throughout the night with my brain screaming thoughts of all sorts. Almost like I was having anxiety attacks in my sleep, usually I would just stare at the ceiling till the thoughts quieted down and the exhaustion took over so I could fall back to sleep.

I’ve always been one to think that nothing happens just to happen, there’s always a reason, big or small. So I have started to get up and go outside for some air, and I have to say if you ever have the chance to wake up at 4am in the woods of New Hampshire go outside and breathe. Just breathe, something so simple to do and yet something so angelic. It’s a feeling like no other to me, it’s a sense of home, comfort, strength, and even power.

The sense of being the only thing up at that moment, before anyone else even the animals or little bugs that buzz around; even they have to sleep. It’s the sense that everything is quiet and frozen in time, like nothing bad could happen at that moment. Just before the sun starts to rise while the moon is still in the sky, like the perfect amount of balance. While I close my eyes and just inhale and exhale while I have that calm, warm, summer breeze hitting my body giving me the same feeling of serenity just like when I get a comforting hug. It’s like I can hear everything that usually we all drown out during the day, such as the breeze rippling gently through the huge pine trees that surround me. It’s that feeling of knowing you aren’t completely alone because of all the souls sleeping around you but just enough to feel like the only one really living in the moment. That’s what the feeling is, its the feeling of actually being in the physical moment, just breathing while being completely aware of what’s around you; because in that moment there are only a handful of stimulating things around me, where I can focus on all of them without feeling overwhelmed.  

“and in that moment I appreciate everything, makes me realize life really isn’t that bad”

That’s the true meaning of why I wake up, to me it’s my mind’s way of telling me to go enjoy those few moments I am lucky to get everyday. That without those few moments, I would forget how lucky I truly am and in those seconds they remind me that all the struggles I have been through. When I am taking in those deep breaths with the gentle wind going through the leaves and touching my ears so calmly I realize that everything has a gentle side at some point. 4am shows me comfort and that the shortest and smallest moments in life are really the ones that mean the most, and have the most powerful meaning. It shows me simplicity and balance, all the things that most take for granted. Just because something is small doesn’t mean it’s insignificant, just because something feels huge doesn’t mean it’s the end of your world. Try to remember the little things, the simplicity of life is in front of all of us everyday but we ignore it while trying to find the big things. So I finally stopped wondering why my brain would wake up at 4am and started playing into it, and it lead me to the most serenity I have ever experienced and for that I am grateful. If only everyone experienced the feeling of 4am….

“The smallest moments bring the biggest of feelings”