Tag Archives: progress

Higher Thoughts, The Life and Times

All I want is Happiness

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I used to think I had life all figured out, then I realized I’m only 21! I used to think all I needed to do was go to school, get my degree, them BAM I’d get hired, find love, be independent, and then life would be good. Thats it. I would peak, be happy, and that would be that. But the more I imagined that scenario I realized that its not that easy, even for the rich an famous.

Think about it, a lot of people strive for money, fame, health, looks, etc. But after growing up with money and in poverty (long story),

“I realized I just want to grow up to be happy.”

But the funny thing is, is that I don’t know what makes me “happy” anymore. For a long time it was money, then finding love, then just my friends, and then as all of those things faded away I was left standing there empty handed, by myself but yet still not unhappy. Interesting right? All the concepts I thought brought me joy were gone yet I was still feeling okay! Don’t get me wrong it sucked and hurt to lose them, but I still made it out alive and was fine. So I was left standing there, to ask myself again what makes me happy.

We spend our whole lives striving for things and concepts we think we need but what if we all kept it simple, what if we all just just lived!

So while I’m racing to find out my purpose and who I am, I realized that, that is what life is. It’s figuring out who I am as an individual, but I can’t find it in 21 years, or 50, or even 75. Sure as live goes on we grow with others and all sorts of ways but in the end, it’s only you who goes on alone. As scary as that thought is, its true,

it’s reality.

Life is about the memories and moments I create, the paths and roads I pave through out, and most importantly the relationships build from start to finish.

“With every relationship I build that fails, I realize something about myself, I find more of myself I didn’t even know I had. It’s like a wake up call that I didn’t know I needed. Some are painful, some are quick, but each one teaches me more and more.”

“It’s like lives most powerful lessons are brought through pain, but finish in strength.”

Everyone and everything alive only has a certain amount of time on this Earth, and the scary part is that not everyone realizes that, so we all sit here being alive but are really any of us living? And I wish I could tell you how to “live” but the truth is, is that living is a concept that is different with everyone. That maybe instead of over thinking on how my life will be great as time goes on and I “figure it out” that,

life would be better if I just lived in the moment!

Ya know? And just let life happen and I’ll figure it out on the way. Don’t forget the hard times, and don’t call them the bad times, but realize that those are part of life. Those are the parts that help us figure out life and ourselves the most. Moments define our lives, memories define our lives, but if we keep trying to find or create them we slowly start to forget why we want them.

“You know its funny, growing up I always feared death, but I think what I really fear is not living when alive.”

So what if we all stopped taking life so seriously and just lived, took chances, risks, and just went with it. I mean the more you think about it, we were all just a random pick of life, you never know what kind of story will come when each one begins.

Kevin at a Desk

What it Means to Be in a Cohort

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So, You’re in a cohort?

Honestly i never knew what this word meant until i enrolled in my Masters of Education degree at the beginning of 2017. Truth be told i didn’t know what to expect from this idea of a mass group of people undergoing the same requirements to obtain the same degree, it seemed very interesting to me. At the same time in my life i felt like i wasn’t doing much with my life. Yes i understand the fact i was getting my Masters but because it was at the same school i attended Undergrad it felt like nothing to me so i made a stupid rule for myself; I m not here to make friends i am here to get my degree. My goal was not to interact with the new folks and really just put my nose to the grind until graduation in May.

That plan kinda failed right out of the gate seeing as i had some friends already in the program and didn’t want to break those connections off, thus open the flood gates to new people i met along the way. The people i met along the way were so different and unique in their experiences and personal lives that it was hard not to connect, especially when it was in an awkward diversity class (Shout out to that class you know who you are).

As the weeks and months went along i realized that this cohort wasn’t what i was gonna imagine it to be. Many of the same folks had the same goal i had about not making new friends and seeing that goal become unreachable after late night shenanigans and early morning coffee runs. The definitive moment when i realized i had to be with people was one class, where out of the entire cohort only three of us had to be in and realizing that for the rest of the year this was a good core i was gonna stick with because of one random text in our message group saying a famous line from the play Les Miserables ” Do you hear the People Sing?”  (Shout out to Pat and Amanda)DYHTPS

This Cohort was one of the best things i had going for me in grad school, especially since we had all these things changing in our world it was good to have people knowing what those changes felt like. I knew when i was having a bad day, i could walk down to the office next to mine and shoot the breeze for a couple of moments of peace even if i was bothering them during their work, but i hope they appreciated me as i appreciated them.

To those in a cohort now looking to get their masters, enjoy the company of those who surround you for a couple of reasons;

One you’ll be working with them in your field so best to get to know them young

Two They are good people that really want to change the world the best way they know how, might as well help them out with that

Three You legit will never know who you will meet, i met some great friends that i will rely on for a lot things in post grad so you might as well meet them.

In the end, this is a Thank You to the people in the Merrimack College Higher Education Class of 2018 Cohort! Ya’ll Killing the game!

 

 

Kevin at a Desk

Moving Out (College Graduate’s Song)

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Yes, the title is a reference to one of my favorite artist Billy Joel.

There is something to say for moving out of the house for the first time, and no I don’t mean going to your dorm room. I mean moving basically everything you own; your entire worldly possessions into a place where mom isn’t cooking dinner, dad isn’t watching College Football in the recliner, or in my case not going home to a queen size bed every night Moving out means you are fending for your own life and trying to make it in this world in a very adult yet confusing way, and boy does it suck. I remember the first time I lived on my own. I loved it for the first few months but living in a big apartment can make you feel small. Being there by myself was one of the worst times in my post grad life as It was a very much a smack in the face reminder that I was no longer living with all my friends on a condensed campus. It took some time to center myself into the grind of earning my Masters Degree in Education but once I felt balanced, living on my own felt like I was riding a bike

Moving out is one of the realizations you are not going to be given a free ride anymore and its time to grow up or get left behind. I consider myself adaptable and actually moving out and living on my own was a challenge I could take on. Our generation wants to take on the challenge too, however it is a terrible move statistically to do so. Stats don’t lie in saying millennial’s are one if not only generations to move back home after college and it is in due part to the housing market, loans and basically anything in between that keeps us financially independent. It’s OK to move back home after college as long as you are doing your share to keep the house in check. I was the runner for my mom’s daycare service for the summer, if she needed something done I was the guy. Eventually we will have to finally leave home and get on where we left off or in other cases continue where we are.

When the day comes that I am truly away from the sweet city of Boston the only thing that worries me isn’t where I am moving to, it’s what I am leaving behind.

Being an only child, I only have mom and dad in the family and as they get older I start to worry about how they will do without me and the checkup calls that I had to make in college transition from my safety  and me to them and their safety. I know they are capable of taking care of themselves but in the back of my head ill always worry about how they are as I move out in this post grad world. It not just me that worries about how their parents are doing but for me when i’m the only one it adds an extra value to the time i spend at home or the time i spend calling them.

So in short: Move up, Move Out but don’t forget who’s waiting at home.

 

“ Mama if that’s moving up then I’m moving out”

Higher Thoughts

A Letter To My Angels

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It isn’t Invincibility – But it isn’t Faith Either

over the past few years I came to the conclusion that – while mortality is great and all – I have too many angels around and about to let anything of real consequence happen to me. Now to clarify this doesn’t mean I have taken to jumping out of planes or running into fires to save kittens but it has given me a renewed sense of surviving through the ordinary and the extraordinary.

By now many of you have heard of the fires, explosions and gas leaks in Lawrence Massachusetts – click here for the story – but what you may not know is that I live just north of the river, in an area that lay on the edge of Lawrence and Andover.

Today my heart goes out to the family who lost their son in one of the blasts, the families of the ten people whom were injured, and to those who lost their homes. But today my heart also looks up to the forces that be for protecting me, my friends, and all those who were effected but are safe in the wake of this terrible event.

I don’t believe in Immortality

Not beyond the way writing makes us live on past our own expiration date. But I believe that something stands to protect me because yesterday, in the wake of such frightening events, I was not for a moment – afraid.

The way I see it, I have too many angels to let me join them – and I have too much left to do in my life to allow it to be cut short. I don’t believe in immortality, I don’t believe I am invincible, but I am young and naïve enough to know that if my time was now – well then that would be beyond my control.

I used to NEED Control

But today I woke up with this feeling where [and yeah maybe it was faith] took over and suddenly I wasn’t as stressed as I usually was. In many ways I still would not call myself a godly woman – but if I believe in anything, I believe in my angels – and I could not be more grateful that they are here to watch over me and those I love.

Lastly

I want to ask that we hold all those suffering both here in Massachusetts and those in the wake of hurricane Florence in the Light [ and for those who aren’t familiar with Quakerism – this means we hold them in our thoughts and send love and positivity their way] and I would also like to thank the first responders who were not able to spend last night with their own families because they were selflessly giving to others. Thank you.

The Life and Times

A Year of progress

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arizona asphalt beautiful blue sky
Photo by Nextvoyage on Pexels.com

“Tick Tick Tick, it’s a quarter to two.” Madonna knows exactly how to describe my current state in life. Fighting the ever lasting clock.  Dare to continue? To follow the passion and desires in my heart? These are the everlasting questions I continue to ask myself. There is so much energy and passion in me to do what it is I’ve always wanted, to connect with people. To share my stories and learn from others in the process.
My mind is constantly moving from one thing to the next. I have always had the mantra that each year is an opportunity to reinvent ourselves.  I sometimes take this idea too literately,  sometimes change has become a way for me to break free from anxiety. The ever lasting energy of other trying to put me down. We have all felt this way and the truth is, we can’t change others perceptions of us, but we can change how we think about this and the best way to approach it moving forward.
The latest Mercury in retrograde brought so much off to the surface for me in all aspects of my life, but one remaining theme was there. Fear holds me back and my ability to please others has taken control over me really moving on in life to what is best for ME. The truth is that there are so many things I’d like to do and accomplish in my lifetime, but I can’t accomplish them if fear holds me back and I remain in this comfortable state of inaction.
This year I plan on setting clear intentions as to what it is I really want. I know that by doing this, I can get to the root of what it is I really want this year. I am so excited for the abundance and possibilities moving forward. This is why I created this blog, to connect with others who are going through similar struggles. I know that together we can all find a way out of the shadows and achieve whatever it is our heart desires. This year I will be adding so many different types of blog posts and I will be showing my life in a new public way.