That Chic’s A… Beast of a Mother (Bam!)

Today I want to start a new phrase. Not like DUFF or MILF or DILF – but something along the lines of “Mother of Dragons” or “Khaleesi”.

I want to start something that completely encapsulates what it is like to be the most Momish Mom in your friend group. To be the one that pulls bandaids out of her bra strap and has a purse like Mary God Damn Poppins – to be the one who, male or female your uterus (gut) is literally screaming so damn loud to have kids that it comes out as an energy entirely unlike anything anyone has ever seen.

And Yes, I am talking about the one person who is always prepared and the one person who, despite being trashed, tired or sick and on your death bed you can still manage to – on command – negotiate four other completely obliterated morons out of an invisible maze while holding back two girls hair, making sure the third doesn’t break an ankle on top of that heel she totaled and keeping an eye on the fourth who is running away screaming “I DON’T NEED HELP!” (but spoiler alert… she so does)

In my friend group we say that this person has “Big Wife Energy”, we call her Becky – but I don’t think that captures the full meaning of being the one true “Mother of Morons” or a Beast of a Mother – a BAM if you will. Yeah – shes a BAM!

So what qualifies someone as a true Beast of a Mother? Well Buzzfeed obviously has its answers, but for me and for my friend group, BAM’s come in many shapes and sizes.

You have the:

  • Bad Mom BAM, the one who gets wine drunk on a tuesday.
  • The Dad BAM who protects you and threatens ill fitting suitors.
  • The Becky BAM, who, as I said is our friend groups first and foremost expert on BAM lifestyle.
  • The Casual BAM – the one who comes out when his/her children have scrapes bruises or heart ache.

and depending on your personal BAM style, the list goes on and on.

But at the end of the day these men and women deserve to be recognized and praised for all that they do for us.

So here are to the beasts. The baddies. And of course, the BAMs – long may you reign.

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