So really, I just got curious.
Why does everyone think my generation is ruining absolutely everything? What exactly did we, as millennials, destroy for the rest of society?
Can we truly ruin anything if literally all we do is attend an overpriced college, go out to bars, and then work 40+ hours a week for minimum wage just to try to pay back our loans and eat food and live in an up-to-code very humble abode?
Cue the family get togethers, where I am always hit with an “oh when are you moving out?” or “oh, you don’t have a boyfriend?” or the best one: “you’re moving back to your hometown once you finish school, right?”
Uhm, no, Susan, right now I’m pretty focused on not being in debt for the rest of my life? And also maybe keeping some of my civil rights? And also finishing my education? And maybe travelling because once I start my career I’ll probably never be able to retire?
For reference, to be considered a millennial you would have been born between 1981 and 1996 (currently ages 22 to 37) — so really, I’m the very tail end of it; I’m talking 2 weeks away from being a ’97 kid. But by the way they are being judged, I’d rather be a Millennial than a Gen Z. Plus, the years vary slightly depending on where you look for the information, but this is a pretty good range to go by.
Here are just a couple dozen article headlines that lay out what my generation has, in fact, killed: (and my initial reactions to some of them)
How Millennials Ended the Running Boom (2016)
Millennials are killing gyms, too (2016)
How hipster millennials are killing the Big Mac (2016)
“Promiscuous” Millennials are Killing McDonald’s (2014)
Millennials are killing chains like BWW and Applebee’s (2017)
(because we run out of money and can only afford take out)
Millennials are killing the beer industry (2017)
Now millennials are killing marmalade (2017)
Did Millennials Kill the 9-5 Workday, or Just Point Out it’s Dead (2016)
(actually, Meghan, I work 7-4 + overtime)
Have Millennials Killed Serendipity? (2017)
Millennials are killing the dinner date (2016)
Millennials are killing relationships and we should be concerned (2015)
Why aren’t millennials having sex? (2016)
(you clearly haven’t visited a college campus, or bars, or clubs, or copy rooms recently)
Here’s How Millennials Have Killed Crowdfunding (2016)
(you sure? Remember the time we started a funding page for KYLIE JENNER)
Did Millennials Ruin the Olympics? (2016)
Millennials are Killing Lunch
(this is actually a 51-second video)
Millennials have officially ruined brunch (2017)
(excuse me do you guys think we don’t LOVE food??)
Millennials aren’t eating cereal because it’s too much work (2016)
(sorry but I can’t eat that in the car while I’m rushing to work late because I stopped for Starbucks)
Well done millennials – you’ve officially ruined handshakes for everyone (2016)
(I’ve always been more of a hug person anyway)
Millennials are killing the napkin industry (2016)
Have Millennials Killed Hotel Loyalty Programs?
Millennials are allegedly ruining hotels for every other generation (2016)
(at least this one gives us ‘allegedly’)
Millennials are Killing Department Stores
(another video! but really – help me, I’m poor)
Did millennials kill the hangout sitcom? (2018)
(for the record, F-R-I-E-N-D-S is my favorite show)
Millennials Are Destroying The Next Generation and It’s Ruining America (2017)
(that’s just… wow …harsh)
Are Millennials Killing the Car Industry? (2018)
(SORRY BUT THE T IS CHEAPER)
Why are Millennials Killing Their Bosses? (2015)
(I’m sorry but all I can imagine here is Charlie Day saying “no one’s going to pay you to be a husband, unless you marry Oprah.”)
(and if you don’t understand that joke we can no longer be friends, sorry)
Millennials’ Wanderlust is Killing the Canadian Tourism Industry (2016)
(don’t they just have waterfalls and maple syrup, anyway?)
Millennials are Killing America: Part 1 (2016)
(this was published in 2016 and I am still unsure where part 2 is)
Millennials don’t like motorcycles, and that’s killing Harley’s sales (2017)
(ya’ll are the ones who told us they’re dangerous, you know)
And, my personal favorite:
How Millennials (Almost) Killed the Wine Cork (2016)
(TWIST OFFS FOR THE WIN)
So, there ya have it.
People think we ruined it all. From McDonalds to hotels, gyms to marmalade, I can’t really go anywhere or do anything without being judged or questioned simply because of the year I was born.
If you’re really that upset about us eating avocado toast why don’t you just go buy them all so we can’t, sound good?
Plus, aren’t you the ones who created us a couple decades ago?…
Please, just leave us be. All we want is to feel like we just might be able to retire someday.
And remember, these are just a few handfuls of headlines I pulled from Google. If you want more, trust me, there are more.