In the last decade I have witnessed the rise of an American President who can be accurately compared to Hitler, seen my country turn toward a reality that is not unlike “a handmaids tale,” and watched as womenhood and manhood are reduced to their biological makeup.

In the last decade, I have seen the near fall of Democracy, the start of the rise of fascism in the U.S., and seen schools turned into war zones where children have essentially become “acceptable losses” to maintain freedoms they are often too young to comprehend.

It’s easy to condemn fictional characters – it’s harder to realize that you’re living their story.

I don’t believe the narrative that humanity is inherently violent. Though, much like saying “boys will be boys,” I think believing violence is biological can be used as a means to excuse the presence of it. I don’t believe the narrative that people are born good or evil, though it is probably easier to separate ourselves from “evil” people when we claim they were born that way. I understand and half believe the narrative that in times long before organized society that this world existed in a state of nature vs man and… I believe that in a world and a reality where we rarely have control of anything that happens around us we can have absolute control of the choices we make and the way we react to situations.

And I believe that none of us are innocent in believing that we have never made the wrong ones.

Welcome to adolescence, your training starts now

Growing up I thought weapons looked a certain way. I’d hear the word and images of sharp objects and combustible materials would immediately come to mind. Then I grew up and I found something else entirely to be true. I grew up and I realized that the things we, as humans, use to harm other humans are not limited to the things we can build, but also to the things we can imagine – because often, the things we can say are much more harmful than anything we can do.

Kids today are at more risk of violence on multiple fronts than I was when I was their age. This doesn’t make them victims or mean we have to hide them away in towers or make laws to limit their access to things – but it does mean we have to play a more active role in discouraging such things.

Keeping someone away from a dark alley and what danger may rest in it doesn’t remove the threat – it just transfers the risk from you to someone else. Keeping people offline or keeping them away from certain ideals may “protect” them (or your beliefs) in the short term but then when they inevitably face that danger (or those “alternative” beliefs) when they are deemed “old enough” – they might not know how to handle it.

Welcome to adulthood – now choose your weapon

As an adult, when I think of weapons, I still think of knives, of guns, of explosives, and of hands with bad intentions. I think of weapons and my mind still fills with images of everything from simple objects to complex tools. But I also think of other ways to be wounded. More ways than I ever thought possible.

For example, I think of how much it hurts when parts of us that get buried with a loved one. I think of how scary it can be when we allow parts of us that exist outside of us in friendships/relationships that could end. As an adult I think of weapons and I think of the infinite ways one person can hurt another – and then I decide I never want to do or use any of those things against someone else.

Every day I actively decide to do my best to support the people I love and to have compassion for the ones I don’t know or the ones who’s choices I may not understand. And right now, for me, that’s what life is about. It’s about making choices to be decent and spread decency because in a world where some chose to give in to their darkest impulses – many more chose light.

Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.

Martin Luther King, Jr.

In a world full of darkness I chose to have my weapon be light. It sounds silly, and in this country, it would probably lead many people to laugh – but it’s my choice and I know it will continue to serve me well.

Look, in my very blunt opinion I think most things about growing up suck. I think we live in a world where we are threatened if we are different and we are threatened if we support those who are. I think we are undervalued and underpaid and most of us are tired and frustrated and all of that really does suck.

AND

I believe that in this country many of us want good and I know that none of us chose the “war” we currently exist in – but it’s here and every day we have the choice of how we want to fight it. And lastly, I believe that sometimes, the best way to fight is not at all. By all means, don’t be passive, and for the love of all that’s good don’t stay quiet – but chose light and encourage those around you to do the same.