I’m Buying a House, and So Can You!

Recently, my fiance and I had our offer accepted on a house!  We are very excited–who said the dream of property ownership was dead?  We are doing it and so can you!

All you need to do is…

  • Never start renting.  You will lose all of your money to a landlord.  Instead, live at home until your mom tells you she is buying a condo and you need to leave!
  • Shop smart! You don’t need a house with more than two rooms.  So what if there is mold in the basement?  So what if the windows are painted shut and there is termite damage?  It’s a roof over your head, and it is yours!
  • Work until you think you can’t work anymore, then work more!  I regularly work anywhere from 50-60 hours a week and go to grad school.  Sure, I’ve had a mental breakdown here and there, but hey–I am getting a house.
  • Get into a job that pays you way more than anyone else your age.  My fiance is in sales for a tech company making about 20k more than I do PLUS commission.  So I guess what I am saying is either do that or marry someone who makes more money than you. Lock down that partner who is paying for the majority of the house fast–you would never be able to afford this on your own, so make sure you have that figured out and secured
  • Don’t pay 20% down. We don’t have that much money in the bank!  Are you crazy? We are 24 years old.  We are paying 5% down? I think?  Plus then there’s mortgage insurance which is a fancy term for “If you don’t have 60k in your bank account right now, don’t worry! You just have to pay an extra $200 a month to live in the house that the bank owns but lets you keep your stuff in!

Truth be told, there are a lot of reasons we are getting a house and not an apartment.  We don’t live together yet and are doing this to save money.  In the long run, yes, a house is a better investment than renting, but it takes a lot up front and a really big commitment.  My family and friends have asked me–how do you afford it?  The truth is, as satirical as my tips sound, that’s what we did.  I have worked way too hard for too long.  I have lived rent free in exchange for taking care of a woman with dementia.  I am marrying someone who makes more money than me and always will–get into sales, not teaching, people!  And no, I can’t afford to put sixty thousand dollars down.  Combined, our savings accounts don’t even make it halfway there.  So yes, I’m buying a house.  That’s where all my money is going.

So say hello to the unofficial adultiest adult of AwkwardnAdulting?

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